SEAGAL KINO IS BACK!!
SEAGAL KINO IS BACK!!
SEAGAL KINO IS BACK!!
IT'S TIME FOR KINO LADDIES
SEAGAL KINO IS BACK!!
SEAGAL KINO IS BACK!!
SEAGAL KINO IS BACK!!
IT'S TIME FOR KINO LADDIES
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>tactical hand grip changing AT 1:20
HE DID IT AGAIN THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
literally /our guy/
>WHO
>IS
>THE
>TAR
>GET
what did he mean by this?
IF WE LIKE DEM WE GIV EM A BOX A CHOCLATES
IF WE DON'T WE KILL EM
Can he get anymore BASED?
OPERATOR
P
E
R
A
T
O
R
>a stuorm is coming
90 mins worth of new memes YAY
It doesn't look good by any means, but I have to say that it looks more like an actual movie than any of the other shit trailers I've seen him in lately.
>Every line delivered with the trademark am-i-out-of-breath-or-am-i-whispering segal vocals
Perfect
Is Seagal back?
For fucks sake, is Steven Seagal so fucking lazy he doesn't even enunciate properly in his movies anymore?
yea I'm thinking he's back
*Wheezes*
Seagal vs this little guy
who snatches?
Out of breath? Seagal? Pick one reddit. He is one of the fittest men alive.
I give this shitskin 10 seconds before Seagal snatches both his birthday and the punani.
>aaaannnd... Action
>"Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics."
what did he mean by this?
>.......I said Action...
Wha happen?
>...FOR FUCKS SAKE. OI!!!! ACTION!!!
Who watches this shit? Serious question. It looks absolutely boring and atrocious and it's not even fun trash, just boring trash. No BASED SEAGULL KINO meme answers please.
day tuk er
Slavs.
he bruised the cruise
ex CIA Seagal vs the entire 1st Recon battallion
who gets some?
.........................................................
>THE STOOL'S COMING
WAT
Could Tom Cruise legitimately kick Seagal's ass?
>5'7
>160 lbs
V.S
>6'4
>265lbs
[heavy breathing]
Maybe not in hand-to-hand but if all else fails, he sure can run.
Trombley
at 1:00 he lightly slaps some dude in the neck a few times
jesus this guy
No we don't.
t. Pole
>doesn't even get out of the chair to fight
>"Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in South. I was trained as weekend reserve officer. I was given the title of Chief Deputy. They take a movie “Sicario.” They have a 5-foot-7-inch little girl, whether she was British or American, I don’t know. I don’t care. She had never been down to south. She doesn’t speak southern. She has never fought against drug cartels. They make her the Sicario?. I got a phone call [laughs] from Joe Arpaio saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I pretend to know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics."
>0:40
is he just shooting his scenes while sitting at this point?
Ok, russians.
t. russian
GAME ON
>two watches
why?
this actually looks like the best seagal kino in years
fucking kek
WHY DOES HE HAVE TWO WATCHES
one keeps the time
the other is counting down to your death
tactical advantage
one shows Moscow time for his BFF putin and the other one shows Arizona time for this good pal Sheriff Apriaio
>The Last Samurai was Nathan
IT WAS KATSUMOTO
Serbs
t. serb
One is for local time. The other is for Japanese Time so he can call his waifu on a proper hour.
kek
Must have been a good year for drug cartels
>Here one *burps* smalles 45 ever made
>Its one of my back up, one of my personal back ups
>Isnt that amazing?
can someone call /k/ and ask if this is a legitimate practice
...
>Seagal
>only 265 lbs
have you even seen him in all his rotund glory?
thats /fa/ as fuck right there
Is that a real quote? The Sicario in the film is Benicio Del Toro, not Emily Blunt. Emily's character was a pawn.
>“That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?”
There's no way someone seriously said that.
>Most of the people I pretend to know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it.
>didn't like the film
>and didn't go see it.
ayy lmao
Hell yeah. Look at that.
Sure thang user, got them on speeddial
The quote is an edit of a real quote. The real quote is about The Last Samurai.
no need to ask /k/. Seagal is a former CIA operative and currently a Reserve Cheif Deputy Officer in Jerkwater, Arizona
Im pretty sure he knows what he's doing
does someon have that part when his on skateboard tryingvto appear as at?
thanks in advance
What's this kino name?
what the fuck is going on with the window?
>I got a phone call [laughs] from Joe Arpaio saying
Wha happen?
EASY
I used to watch Seagal movies late at night on the USA channel as a kid.
Can someone give me a list of all the good ones?
>0:38
he doesnt even bother to do his action scenes standing up anymore
Anyone got the webm with the guy thrown out the window?
>It's a Seagal talks like a black guy episode
Also Seagal posting is best posting.
>contract to kill
could there be a more generic title
a true warrior preserves and stores his energy as much as possible
Against the Dark IIRC. Not sure senpai.
Windows*
why settle for a webm?
>imma give em chocolates
pretty good lol
and I like how terrorists are the bad guys for once, instead of stupid anti russian propaganda
That's the wrong reason to hate on it.
True Seagalkino has a title where you can put "Steven Seagal is..." before it. Doesn't work here, don't like it.
>That editing
Every time
>white trash
That guy is Oriental?
yeah, this title doesnt work in that way either
>those fucking comments
MATRIX-GLITCH.webm
"Steven Seagal has Contract to Kill"
sounds alright with an alternative
What is this move called? Melon juggling?
time zones are an hour apart. he could literally just look at his watch and go "well, minus 8 hours and.."
Animekino.
His first five movies are the best: Above The Law, Hard To Kill, Marked For Death, Out For Justice and Under Siege.
I also thing the sequel to Under Siege is solid enough. Only movie from the 2000's I can recommend is Exit Wounds.
>Most of the people I know didn't like the film and didn't go see it.
What did he mean by this?
Wrinkles of Death
>Under Siege
The best.
Just like one of my Japanese animes
>whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care.
Then why bring it up?
>10 greatest anime sword fights
Out For Justice aka "anybody seen ritchie?" is by far his best film
>UNO FARTO 1:07
omfg
Who funds these movies? I refuse to believe any profit can be gained. Is it just money laundering?
Die Hard on a boat is objectively his best film.
Bigger action scenes and also funny stuff even without Seagal on screen, like this kino classic right here:
HOW CAN HE SLAP??
pretty much
they shoot in Bulgaria or Romania, get money from some EU grants and spend it all on cheap eastern european whores
That and Under Siege.
>written by Steven Seagal
Oh, it shows
>What the fuck are you doing in my place?
>Where do you think I'm going
CHRONOS?!