Need help Sup Forums, I'm very sad

Need help Sup Forums, I'm very sad

My family doesn't like my gf (we date for 3 years), because she is poor, they think she can abuse my money or even be a gold digger.

They treated her badly with acts, ignoring her, etc, until she got so pissed that she wrote somethings on facebook, criticizing my family but sparing their names (so, it wasn't direct at all).

My mom gave me a warning that this girl will make me harm and wants me to end the relationship, or else I'll "lose my family" because they will separate from me. I'm a recently gradutate of 24 years old, and my family always was very authoritative and demanding on me. I never had true freedom, they let me go far enough but the leash was there around my neck the entire time.

>Question is: How can I manage this situation and fight it?
> How can I win in this situation and survive?
>What can I do to survive one more month, just more 30 days with them, until I can start working and get my money and get the hell away from here?

I'm counting on you Sup Forums, I really needed a friend right now but they are all very distant from me

Fuck your family.

If it's that bad and you need the extra month. Just talk to their mouth, say you're going to cancel it or whatever. Discuss this also with your girlfriend ofcourse. And when you have a stable income get the hell out of there.

Good you fight against your family btw. Is always hard to do. Just remember you are living for yourself, not for your controlling parents. It's your happiness not theirs.

I'm a recently graduate medical doctor dude, in 17 days I'll get my license to work as a doctor

cancel what? I don't understand, care yo explain again?

I'll get the hell out of this abusive and controlling household, I was never free and here I will never be

yes, I know it's my happiness, but how can I survive there 30 days withouth collapsing into chaos?
What can I do?

I'm so sad Sup Forums, I feel like this is the end of a good situation I had with ym family, but my gf is worth it... she loves me above all else and helps me so much, she deserves a chance

life is hard enought to make care of dumbs, fuck your family, make sure that everything will go on with your gf, and if you need time, just be vicious,make it for you, and your gf. Good luck friend.

how can I be vicious? Care to help me?

A month doesn't seem that much of a time. Don't you have any relatives or friends who can help you with money or a place to stay? If you will be a doctor, assuming in the US, you will be making enough money to pay them back.

You gain time, just tell them something like "i don't know, i'm lost, i need to see a psychologist, i feel bad" make them feel sorry for you, and when it's time, go out of this shit.

Also, what is the worst that could happen if they were to find right now about your intentions?

DOn't live in the US, I live in another american country that pays doctors very well indeed.
All my friends moved to another city already, I can't crash at anyone else's place

I have 1 big test to do at 13 january, until then I need to study my ass off, and my parents are being a pain to me because my mom keeps coming to talk about the subject (they are staying at my apartment, but it's their money that pays the bills...)

What intentions? Of leaving? They already know that!
Of wanting to be with this girl for a very long time? They already know that dude!
They are afraid she's going to abuse me taking away my money and keeping me away from her

Time to leave your family behind for now. Just get away from them for now. Let them think about their mistakes. If they love you, they will accept the path you've chosen. If not, you don't need them. It's hard but it's a step of growing up.

I know this isnt what you want to hear, but give up on trying to make them understand and let them distance themselves. You are literally a part of them, they won't be able to stay away, parents are drawn to their kids no matter what if they truly love them. So let them drop you and then realize thier mistake.

I need 30 days to do that, so I can have enough money to rent a house, buy some furniture and food, etc
Also, my mom is planning to buy me a car as a present of graduation, I'm also waiting for that so I can work easily, but I'd leave this car in 2 seconds if it meant freedom

I understand, your problems are the feelings. Why do they think she is after your money? What girl do they think it would be more suitable for you? Anyway, I am sorry bro, but I guess you'll have to swallow it and wait for it to be over.

Tell your family you date poor girls, because you enjoy the poor it gives you over them. Kind of like what they have done to you all your life.

wise words man, appreciate you
I'll do it, with or without gf I'd do it on a blink of an eye

The problem is: how I react when they enter my room 3pm and I'm studying my ass off to this big test to get into a good paying work (20k/month) and they start bothering me?

Oh man... I'm scared that waiting is all I can do, it's so painful. They think that a richer girl would be better for me, beause "you have to relate to someone who's better and richer than you", as if I WOULD BE THE GOLD DIGGER!

We are not rich, we don't have money... I don't understand why they think she's afteer this

kek dude, actually made me laugh, thanks bro

if I said that they wouldn't understand: low in creativity, high in fear of being stolen

if its just a month, agree with everything they say but take no actions. When the month is up do whatever you want. Just ACT like they're completely right, and just tell them that you're waiting for the right moment to break up with her. Say you're going to give her a good christmas first.

Dubs confirm

my little brother came right now, he's supportive of me and my gf. He told me that, when my parents went for a walk earlier, they kept talking bad after my gf, saying she's lazy because she didn't clean the house when they arrived...

WE spent the night cleaning the house before they arrived because WE had a very hard time cleaning AND STUDYING to improve OUR FUTURE

I'm getting so mad ad them, man, I could punch someone now

Tell them to leave you alone. Judging by their previous actions, they probably don't want you to be independent, so the idea of you having such a job scares them.

nice dubs

Fuck off nigger

I don't think that would work. They would put even more pressure on him to just leave her, since they all agree on the subject. But maybe he can tell them that he's waiting for the exam to be over so he doesn't have unnecesary stress. I don't know if they will bite it though.

it's a choice I have already thought about dude, doesn't seem like a bad one...but I dodn't want to lie or deceive to get what I need. It's not honored, I don't know

Yes, I've already thought about that too: me being independent means that they won't have a mat to step on, they won't have someone to blame or to boss around.

In fact, this girl represents all they fear: my independence and disobbeying them

My mom isn't as crazy as this guys', and trust me telling them to leave you alone doesn't work.

>how I react when they enter my room 3pm and I'm studying my ass off to this big test to get into a good paying work (20k/month) and they start bothering me?
Tell them you really need to study for a test. Maybe invest in a door lock for your room.
"Whats important right now is that I pass the test that I've spent all of my secondary school leading up to. Please, we can talk about this after, but I NEED to pass this test."
I'm assuming you live in living in South America, user. They're probably going to be overbearing forever.
When you start working and move out, tell them that you appreciate the concern, but your life is YOURS. You need to make your own mistakes if you are to learn, and if they can't handle that, then they aren't good parents or worth your time.

then just tell them that you need to study, and that your relationship with your gf is not the current problem. So then you tell them that you'll think about your relation later, and stay still until the end.

they won't... my mom is a viper that's specialized on making hell where it's not existant

She distorts stories so they work the way she wants to
I would gain some days, but wouldnt at all gain peace

What these anons said. Leave everything aside, you have to focus solely on your study. Otherwise, you'll lose everything. This should be your only concern right now.

I know a lot of abject people that actually behave like this. A lot of people surround themselves with "inferiors" to feel superiors

oh dude... don't tell me that... I had more diarrhea these past 5 days than I ever had my entire life.

Wow dude, you're so damm right, it scares me
I'm south american, yes, and I was already planning to buy a door locker, but christmas closed all stores around here
It will be easier when I leave. I'll use your strategy and tell em to go bother someone else

Exactly

How can my parents be so bad that they won't let me grow? My mom specially, may dad wasn't like that until she poisoned him to think bad about my gf

More and more, it starts to look less about a problem between my gf-me and my parents, and more a problem about me and my parents only

I don' believe in this kind of living, it's just destructive, almost genocidal

I can't trust my parents anymore, that's sad first, then it makes sense thinking how they were all my life

user, is it possible for you to get a small loan(no trump pun intended) from a bank that will allow you to move out for just a month, somewhere where they can't find you so you can have peace?

user, it probably always was a problem between you and your parents only. They don't want you to date a poor girl, because you'll actually feel like someone depends on you and you're not at the bottom of the "food chain" so to speak. If you think that, they can't control you, since you will be independant.

You seem like a clever guy op. Try and asses your own situation using only your rational thought (not involving feelings for gf or family) and figure out the best possible outcome for yourself.
Another advice I'd like to give you is don't listen to manchildren on Sup Forums

At the moment I'm negative at the bank (-700), I REALLY need to work to correct this situation

I never looked at bank loans outside my own, I don't know man, I need to go and see it, how it works in my country

dude, her family is broken because her dad cheated on her mom, took away all the money/car/house they built together, found a lawyer that made him give her mom NOTHING (and the judge helped it...). Her mom got very sick, tried to commit suicide 3 times, and then my gf grew up struggling, working and studying her ass off.
Only after she met me she could study better, because I paid her some books and a course. Yes, I'm helping her grow
But her BIGGER DREAM is to end university, have a salary, buy a car and have her own money, by herself. She wants to build a life with me, not above me

i'll do it dude, I'm writing everything down on a paper and using rationality to sort stuff out
well, Sup Forums helped me in the past (years ago I had some problems and you guys stood by my side)
and all of you are helping me here right now... I'm really appreciating it

Sorr your family is being shit OP.
This happened to me a couple years ago with my ex, similar situation different reasons. If your girl is worth it it's important to stand up for her. Otherwise she'll always feel 2nd to your family and you don't want that.

At the end of the day it's your life and they can duck off if you're happy they should be happy, if not that's 100% their problem, not yours

Whole family says shes a gold digger and you are a patsy.
Then they see something your stupid as cannot shes is a gold digger. Go with her if u want but when shes taking half your hard earned money i hope your family has a good laugh at you expence.

you lived a similar situation?
>How old were you?
>What happened?
>How you dealt with it?
>Why you and your ex broke up?

Of course I'm dead fucking interested in your story

I... Meant that they didn't want you to be independent. As in, having a gf and that gf depending on you ruins your parents' control over you. I wasn't defending your parents, I was doing the exact opposite

my gf wants to work also, she can't right now because she's studying to enter university
I want to make a specialization inside medicine that will take 6 more years of my life, I won't be rich enough to be explored in the next 10 years my friend

I don't think that a family that doesn't even let him study for his career is able to see things straight or correct, let alone decide what is best for him. Because if they understood, they wouldn't have done all that shit.

I know you was attacking my parents, I just explained better the situation. It's kinda fucked up right now for her mom and sisters, but eventually they will grow out of it

My independence means their lost of a scapegoat

Being the paranoid asshole I am, got to warn you - remember that only you can see that certain situation in that certain way.. Are you 100% sure your gf won't leave you as soon as she can stand on her own?

Alright bro. Hang on let me switch to my laptop I'll right quick greetext

I think that my parents think I'm some kind of genius, like I don't need to study to make a test that 5.000 people will make with me for 2 places at the work
I mean, aside from the fact that they don't give a single fuck about my well being, that's the only logical assumption to explain why they bother me so much

No one can EVER be 100% sure of anything. I had patients dying on me when I had done everything that could be possible. And I saw people leave the hospital alive when I thought that they would just die there.
But by the way my gf talks and acts, I believe strongly that she won't leave me, she makes big plans for our future, house, trips, studying some subjects and researching them with me. She's hot 8/10, very street-smart, studies a lot, the sex is just the best I ever had and she knows how to defend me when needed.

Also, she swallows. I'm pretty sure this girl is a keeper

Waiting for you dude

Can you believe, I lost me entire day (it's 8pm here) discussing this subject, thinking about it, and I can't find a single reason why I should leave this girl

I also had strong diarrhea (I always have when I'm nervous, but only about my parents), I couldn't study even a bit

...

I spent 20 years studying to become a medical doctor, I won't commit suicide my friend
And I advise you against it also

>be 24
>moved out of my parents place to live with the girl I was hooking up with at work and ended up dating
>Dating about 6 months or so at this point
>parents mad because they're really christian. think it's a sin, blah blah
>either case she grew up poor, I grew up upper middle class so she always internalized the idea that she wasn't good enough because she was poor/ not good enough
>She comes over for x-mas not super uncomfortable, but not great
>my dad ends up in not so many words telling her that she's going to hell
>we end up leaving, she's in tears. I freeze because I cant believe that my dad just said that and I don't even know what to say

This ends up being something that was a wedge in our relationship later. She feels like I didn't stand up enough for her which I didn't, but everything happened so fast and my brain just turned off.
I dealt with it by calling my parents out on it later; I just wish I would have done so at the time. I also, told my then, gf that I don't think any of the things they said or did were okay. It was just hard for her later because she didn't feel good enough to be with me.
My advice is be clear with your family that your a goddamn adult who can make your own choices and that the situation or who your gf is does not give them the right to treat her poorly

no what i'd do is try to make your parents apologize and tell them how important she is to you, and if they don't respect that, you will disown them and never see their grand kids

To be clear we didn't break up over this specifically. There were a number of other factors in that happening, but she was still upset about this incident, and me not standing up for her enough, many months later

This too. Regardless of if they like it they don't have any right to trample on your relationship with them or with her

>wrote somethings on facebook
dump that denouncing bitch
who's infantile enough to do shit like that? so fucking cowardly

I am genuinely sorry for what is happening to you bro, but there is a marine saying that goes like this: when your mind thinks you're done, you're only 40% done. You can do it, things will work out eventually.

oh my god my dear beautiful user
You enlightened me, thank you
Reading your story makes me realise that I don't want to live the situation you lived
I'll protect her even if I get beaten up

My gf is already thinking about that
I think that it's a little too soon to say this, but if there's no other way...

Dude, I think that right now I'm more mature than you was before, I won't make this mistake, seriosuly

They think that they can control everything
On my graduation party, my mom approached a friend of mine that's beautiful and asked if she was single, if she would date me
I didn't tell this to my gf because it would be no good, but what the fuck man, are we in 17th century where all marriages were arranged? What unpolite thing to do
And the boyfriend of this girl is one of my best friend
What a tool my mom is

Dude, she held it inside her until she couldn't. It was wrong, but we talked already and she will delete it. It's no place to be ranting about private life
She wrote it like she meant to no specific people, she just put one or two specific details that don't make it obvious, but hit the target

Thank you dude, be sure that I'll screencap this whole page here and read it later, to make sure I get every message right
This marine saying is truly good, I'll hold on longer. Once, I stood up on an brain aneurism surgery for 8 hours just holding my finger on the woman's artery, so her blood wouldn't spill out of her body and she would die. I really know what this saying means by "when you think you're done, you're not even close"

Sup Forums is a filthy place, but even in filthiness there can be found some treasures

You guys are all great, appreciate all of you

Hey man, I made a mistake and even though it wouldn't have changed the course of that particular situation it's a mistake I would rather not have made.

Godspeed dear OP

I think I've come up with a plan
1. I'll spend the next 2-3 hours thinking alone about what I can say when my parents confront me about some subjects
2. I'll convince my gf to delete the facebook post, that seems to be the right thing to do
3. I'll state that I need to study, even if my parents keep bothering me... If needed, I'll go to the public library and study there alone
4. If I need escapism, I'll find some surgery to get into (they make me so calm, I forget all my problems when I'm operating)
5. I'll grow the fuck up, grow my teeth and sharp them, and if needed I'll be very rude
6. I'll stand by my gf side, she doesn't deserve a cunty bastard that is paralised by fear
7. When I'm able to, I'll work 2-3 days, find a hotel room and go with her, then we can find a place to rent, buy some stuff to call our own...

The year of 2018 will be very hard to me. I'll probably lose touch with my family, will have to work as a mad horse, but at least I'll have the dignity to lie beside the person I love every night (at least the ones I'm not night shifting) and say i'm independent

I'll prove them wrong, I'll prove them all wrong.
My gf will study and become a medical doctor also (that's what she wants... that's why she is "stuck" in life and considered a lazy girl, because she is 23 and couldnt enter university still... her fucking father that has money won't help her)

By the day 25/12/18, I'll get back here to report to all of you beautiful anons that stood by my side and helped me at this fight

I'll continue here, but I'm just announcing my friends
Save the date

That mistake wasn't related to the motive you guys broke up then? Fuck user... you think that she could have been the one?

How are you nowadays? How old are you?

nope id do it immediately and talk to them about it and if you cant have a healthy family dynamic id tell them to fuck off
but thats me, and i rarely have friends and hold people to a high standard, wouldnt tolerate that shit for a second

It seems to me that you are very dedicated to your medical career, I really appreciate that. Wish you all the best

Saved, godspeed user!

dude, my family isn't healthy
I stopped my parents from divorcing some years ago, my mom wanted to kill my dad, out of nothing (seriously, I think she had a psychotic episode)
When I was a kid, they fought a lot, my dad beat my mom every year at least twice, and I was there in front of her taking some punches also, so she wouldnt suffer it all alone
I took a gun out of my mom's hand once she wanted to kill herself
I gave my lap to my dad when he thought his life was over because his career had ended, he cried his ass off on my shoulder, not an easy thing to a 12 year old kid
I held together when my middle brother wanted to commit suicide last year, I found therapy and help and he got back together

And now, all of those bastards wants me to end my relationship, that mades me not be a coward, makes me want to grow and be a man to stand for my woman

Believe me, I know that this family isn't healthy

I'm very dedicated man, I'm not the smartest guy that ever lived, but I work my ass off to make the best I can for my patients, it's the only thing I ever wanted my entire life
You can take all I have, leave me with my profession and I'll get up and work again

so, you guys think it's bad if I accept the car my mom wants to give me?

Isn't the real question HOW she intends to abuse your money? If she wants to piss or shit on it, that would suck, but if she just wants to slap it around a little, who gives a fuck?

And ask your mother how she thinks this girl will make you harm? Make you harm good? Make you harm bad? I not know...

Dude, I don't even have money! And as I said before, I will make a specialization inside medicine that takes 6 years to end. It means that, by then, I'll have at maximum 3k/month to live. It's not a lot of money, it's enough to live around here

Yes, when I end these 6 years I can make 60-80k/month, but that's not the point.
When my parents got married, all the stuff my mom had could be put inside a backpack. EVERYTHING! Who's my mom to judge?

She thinks that my gf can abuse the money I make working. We have some examples like this with our relatives, that's one reason why she's so upset and worried

Come to your senses. You have to be responsible and honor your parents.
Accept the car and promise your mother that you will dump this whore of a girl.

Then fuck the girl in the back seat of the car while snorting coke off her titties. Allah commands it.

what the fuck dude, laughed loudly here

I'll take this fucking car and all the money they want to give me

If I get banned from my family, when they become old and sick, I'll be there to help them and say "am I the son that got banned from home? I'm back not because you're sick, but because I'm a better person than you"

Well, if you know your mom is wrong about you and her, just prove it. Show your family they cant tell you what you can or cant do. They are the manipulative ones too. Go on your own and work your ass up on your medicine studies. Earn big money and shut some mouths up.

I'll do it my dude
I'll be a neurosurgeon and my gf wants to be a neurologist, we'll live our lives and be safe that no one can harm us, being this with words or acts

Fuck this dude, fuck them all

And I'll get the car