I need a medfag. My asshole has been itching like a bitch for the past few days. It hurts to spread my cheeks to shit...

I need a medfag. My asshole has been itching like a bitch for the past few days. It hurts to spread my cheeks to shit, and i can only scratch it by wiping my ass. How do I fix this?

Have you tried a baby wipe on your ashy ass faggot

Scratching will only irritate and make it worse. Clean real well in shower.

You've got worms. 'nuff said...

actually it's Super AIDS

Probably hemroids

It's not ashy. I think it's a rash or something. My roommate was too stupid to buy toilet paper, so I had nothing to wipe with.

Ur stupid

Whenever I eat cashews my asshole starts to itch, have you been eating cashews OP?

Put antifungal cream on your ass.

Don't use baby wipes
Don't take a bunch of showers.

Clean it, put the cream on and keep your bare ass in the air. I know that's an inconvenience for your active lifestyle but you won't see a doctor so yeah.

Not probably, definitely. Eat better, sit on the pot less, drink water, stop taking dicks in it you'll be fine

Probably not

i bet it's fungus from you being 500lbs and refusing to bathe

Good job jew. Fungus loves water

I fucking love cashews, but I don't think that's why.

Ask your twink boyfriend to tongue punch your buggy hole 7-8 times every 10 minutes. It should clear up by next Sunday.

I've only got lotion and aloe vera cream. College life is hard.

but it loves the dark damp filthy folds of fat the most

Got salt fuckboy? Go drag your ass on the road after the plow truck passes

>source: some queer on the internet

the only way this basic fact could upset you so much is if it applied to you.
fat person ass and fat rolls are the fucking *ideal* environment for fungus, google it fatass

actually I think the woods on the base of rotting trees is the ideal place

Go outside and see for yourself, armchair scientist

Washing yourself doesn't make you any less fat and moist, geenyus.

IN FACT i think that's why medicine exists

It could also upset me if you're wrong and using a bunch of LCD tricks in order to bluster your stupid opinion to the front of the line

wow do superfat people actually think like this?

Im not posting a picture of my self pervert. You're stupid and that's all there is to it

Stop sticking gerbils up your shithole

If youre andy sixx... im sure we can work something out...

Hey OP, some actual advice:

Take a shower, pat dry your ass. I suggest Calmoseptine (this stuff works wonders get chyo ass some) or diaper rash ointment.

Since you ran out of TP and didn't wipe, you probably just have a mind rash. Don't worry too much about it and just try and keep ointment on it. Should clear up soon after.

t. my mom is a RN but I've learned through watching

I bought "dude wipes" from Walmart. Like 3 dollars for a pouch of 45 . It's got aloe in it but it's basically an unscented baby wipe, I use them and it keeps them hemmies from burning like hot fire.

salty salty salt salt

I put some aloe vera cream in my ass because that's all I have. Will that work?

...

>See

Yes it should work, but I honestly strongly suggest getting a medicated cream as it will heighten the chances of it working.

Plus, calmoseptine makes it like... tingle for a second. Like... a spearmint breeze running across your ass.

Best.Feeling.Ever.

>Bengay

Even better.

Antifungal spray works. The guy who said antifungal cream was right, except the spray dries faster

stop being a faggot taking cock up the ass?
and maybe then your herpes would get a chance to flare down.
you filthy fucking flaming faggot.