Winter is the season of sad so lets get the tears flowing because a little crying makes you relaize what and who is...

winter is the season of sad so lets get the tears flowing because a little crying makes you relaize what and who is important in life

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anyone here?

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welp captcha is now up and running so i wont be posting anymore hope i can make someone feel tonight

Lurkin'

alright ill keep posting then

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posting a story in a second about my dad

here is a story about my dads life and how shit it is

>be youngest in family
>dad is abusive boxer who beat brothers and sisters into comas
>mom is schizo and has mental problems
>never learn how a father should treat his son
>mom divorces, moves away and takes him to california
>finished with highschool but bc of credit bullshit have to take more classes with highschool students

>get along in school despite being older
>Teachers constantly rag about how my dad doesnt pay attention
>turns out he is just going deaf very slowly as it runs in the family, can still hear but maybe at 80%
>despite getting along with others, not many friends and spend all day at beach swimming or playing soccer alone
>time passes mom moves away, he stays in cali, making friends here and there as hearing decreases
>meets my mom, fast forward and they get married

>dad goes to community to get an IT degree
>hearing gets worse and he cant hear lectures so my mom goes to class with him while majoring in comp sci to take notes for him
>asks mom to marry him my mom denies saying its too early multiple times
>eventually gives in and marries, get intern it job
>have me eventually, despite having issues during birth i turn out a ok

>to care for family and support, start working more, still getting paid minimum wage despite working there for nearly a decade
>my sister, so his daughter is born a year after me and as time passes he finally ball up and ask for raise seeing as he has to care for more people
>gets raise but has to work weird hours to make it work
> i seem relatively smart compared to class mates and he doesnt have to worry about me passing classes, sister struggles with basics and has ashtma problems and is a bit slow
>love them both unconditonally no matter what
>because of weird hours dont see kids as often and because he hates his job he burns out so he ends up coming home to smoke and drink and read

>time passes son is doing well in school but is nothing like his father
>father played every sport as a child, was a jock, was active and social
>son is anti social, shy, plays no sports and loves video games
>hard to connect to son because of this polar opposites, hearing has gotten worse, cant hear over phone and have to be face to face to understand people
>harder to enjoy conversations, parties, daily life
>can no longer listen to music
>health problems getting worse, still drinks and smokes daily
>cant sleep, acid reflux, you name it
>still wakes up at 3-4am everyday to get to work for 10-12 hours a day for family
>come home exhausted just want to drink and smoke and relax
>cant connect with son too much but still care for him despite him getting on my nerves so try my best
>time passes and everyone grows older and older, family members get sicker and parents die

>dad has increasingly more problems
>drinks daily but not alcoholic, smokes a ton
>wakes up at 3-4 every day, goes to a job he fucking hates like crazy, gets home 3-5 only to try to sleep early and get ready for next day of this
>sleeping problems get worse, maybe gets 2-3 hours of real sleep a day
>still endures this for family to care for us
>son grows older and is an angsty teen makign it harder to connect
>hearing down to around 20% cant hear most of what people say, just incoherent sounds that he can recgonize as phrases

>hearing increasingly gets worse
>hard to socialize with others when you cant hear them
>friends moving away, friends at work that made it tolerable moving up
>cant even hear music
>cant listen to favorite songs
>Start to forget what music sounds like
>cant remember favorite songs
>cant even remember family members voice
>dont know if he can even remember his sons voice
>desperate wants to hear music again, blasts willie nelson to sing along with him but he cant hear it no matter how loud
>cant hear anything besides jumble of noise
>cant hear his own voice
>cant even hear my voice