Oldfags give youngfags advice based on mistakes / past experiences

>oldfags give youngfags advice based on mistakes / past experiences

General life tips

buy low, sell high.

don't trust anyone, ever!

Keep your relationships to yourself as long as possible so that douchebag friends won't keep talking about her after she dumps you.

Save money.

Jelqing works and having a big cock is fun.

Don't be fat.

Go to the gym.

Read serious books, not just internet bullshit. I'm not a natural reader but I do it anyway. Now I know things.

Travel. Don't put it off until some future date. Plenty of people do it with very little money. If you can afford to survive in a Western country, you can afford to travel in a lot of the world.

Don't buy a house probably.

Suck a dick occasionally just so you know where you stand.

Poodle is the best breed of dog.

Black girls actually want sex.

Lurk in Sup Forums24/7

Its never enough

Never believe in job security, and never trust anyone on the job. Always look out for yourself.

>Jelqing works and having a big cock is fun.
hmm

Fruitcake.

don't get married, ever

that picture..

Go to the gym. Don't be a skinny fat bitch. Seriously. Go to the gym. Learn how to lift. It changed my life for the better. Stronglifts is an excellent starter program. Go to the gym.

Major in something awesome in college. I did engineering. It impresses people. Now I make a ton of money.

Travel. It makes you more interesting. You get good stories. I have a story of how I was propositioned for a threesome by a crazy chick who escaped a psyche ward in Vietnam and then a story of how I hitchhiked in Thailand during a rainstorm where a tree broke in half and almost crushed the car I got in.

Learn to save money.

Build a time machine and put all your money in bitcoin.

Stay mad.

This

poodle is not the best breed of dog, you are wrong.

Y'all oldfags have any tips on how to lie?

Why is the traveling so important? In myself, i can see REASON, but absolutely no PASSION for it.

If i would travel, it would be like making degree in something you hate, just because it pays a lot. I hate this about myself.

I am not oldfag, but my advice would be stop being bitch that needs to lie.

>get a real job ASAP
>save and invest 30% of your income
>live below your means, always
>stay away from credit cards debt
>keep that old car until you can't drive it anymore
>find a woman that isn't a total bitch
>don't be an alcoholic

I think thats most of it. I'm on track to retire in about 12 years in my early 40s.

Good decisions and bad decisions all flourish in time.

...Also love matters just remember its a two way street.

Stay gay.

It makes you more worldly. You meet people from different countries that have different points of view. You experience how different people live based on their opportunities available to them. And you get to bang foreign girls who are more likely to fuck you because there's no social stigma associated with it because no one knows she did it.

There are many ways and reasons to travel. It gives you perspective in many ways.

You will meet people you never could have met at home, and see things you couldn't have imagined.

Interesting things will happen at a frequency that you will not find in your everyday life.

Also bitches love a travel story.

do whatever the fuck you want
if you have a stupid idea that you think will pay off then do that shit you never know you, you might be right

you only get one life so try all the shit even it seems retarded to people. you dont want to leave this life thinking "what if id just tried putting a twinkie in my ass"

I am only 27 but i really know one thing that is important in my opinion. Be interesting. Have something to say that impresses or captures people. I don't have that and it makes my social life a living hell. I don't know how to get it but this seems very important. Also stop buying useless shit.

Alcohols addictive

You give so much importance to social life, don´t worry about it. Agree with the stop buying useless shit tho.

Paraphrasing Vonnegut:

You don't have enough information to know good news from bad news.

In other words:

You don't know whether something is good or not. The things you think are great (e.g. your new GF) are probably not so great. The things you think are terrible (e.g. getting fired) are probably not so bad.

Any sort of change creates opportunity for things to go well and things to go badly.

Really? But is it better being a lonely old man without a family?

Find something your really like doing just for the heck of it and invest your time and effort into that. With intrinsic interest, you will get insane multipliers and eventually become a master at it. This is awesome and usually lucrative, no matter how stupid or esoteric the subject.

Music, art, cooking, skateboarding, yo-yo, fucking origami folding... If you're great at something, people will flock to you.

Don't trust your friends too much.

Rekindling an old relationship most of the times goes wrong.

Alfa, beta and omega are temporary states

If a woman sews something for you, she probably loves you

If it's time to be an anvil, withstand. If it's time to be a hammer, smash hard

Broken friendships are like high grade steel. Once broken, never soldered.

It doesn't exist such a thing as intersex friendship. It never passes the under the influence proof.

If you engage with a cheating partner, and he/she has kids, stay the fuck away from them. It will hurt you in the end.

If you get laid by a virgin, commit yourself to making it enjoyable to your counterpart. Remorse exist, for most of us at least.

Never lend money.

Never forgive ungratefulness.

Take care of yourself. Then you will know who really appreciates you, cause they'll be happy, and the ones who dislike you will suffer.

it's even worse with a family, when you're in a retirement home and the never visit.

good trips, terrible advice. If you've read almost anyone successful's biography its that you'll only go places with who you know and how you make an impression.

> jelqing

> suck a dick

> poodle

> I know things

motherfucker why the fuck haven't you ended your own life yet? Get the fuck off my planet you disgusting waste of atoms. Disgusting. You had better be a fucking troll or we need nuclear holocaust now

You're not special.

Job security is always contingent on your value to the company, or more specifically your boss' perception of that value. If you are valuable enough that the company makes a lot of money on you, you'll never be fired.

So mad.

don't smoke weed unless you're going to be in the weed business even then control yourself

Never stick your dick in crazy.

You broke up with that bitch for a reason. Even if yo u don't remember why. Never take back an ex.

Learn a skill you can constantly get better at.
Learn a musical instrument.

Use psychedelics once in a while after doing much research on them and proceeding with what you learned on how to be responsible with them. The experiences can be unspeakably rewarding.

Don't carry credit card debt. Own your car.

Take the hint if she doesn't like you. Take the hint if she likes you.

funny thing is with these tips and the others in this thread you usually intuitively know them to begin with. people dont like to listen to the voice in their head

Best advice I ever got was from Caddyshack:
"If you own anything but land... you own a popcorn fart!"

Not necessarily, if it comes down to being between YOU taking a hit for the company and the company taking a hit for you, you'll take the hit every time. You must have worked some real nice "mom n pop" places to think that.

If you get attacked (during robbery for example), dont hold Back yourself, kill that fucker.
Its easy to kill people with nothing than bare hands.

Is He towering you?
Ignore it.
Does he have a weapon?
Ignore it.
Did He brought Friends?
Ignore it.

Show your teeth, Scream Like a Maniac, taunt them with stuff Like "IM GONNA EAT YOUR FUCKING EYES" and Hit them hard before they Hit you.
Most of those cowards who Gang Up and Bring armory give Up and Run, and If Not, Break their noses or sucked Punch them.
>Sucked Punch is for Pussys
There is No Thing than fair Fight.

RIP and tear or die an Hero.

...

Yeah don't, you'll get caught out eventually. You think you can weave a web of deceit but it will come around and kick you in the dick. Dunno why people have to lie (or feel the need to curb what your saying to be polite), just be straight with them. It'll save you A LOT of heachache down the road.

don't get married
live within your means
if you have to finance a vehicle longer than 48 months, get a different vehicle
buy real property as soon as you can as much as you can
you'll never keep up with the jones', nor should you try
impressions lead to accountability
better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
don't take life too seriously...none of us are getting out alive
stop and smell the roses
be nice to people, even when they're being the biggest asshole in the world to you

don't do it
>O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive

If you do find the one you love, and do get married, live by the rest of these. Make 100% sure your new partner in life knows that this is a serious life choice for you.

>don't get married
Why not?

I try to tell myself that too. But friends and relationships make your life worth living. Sure it is also the source of much drama but when you lie on your deathbed you won't regret spending to little time gaming or being on the internet.

Do.not.gamble. Never.
Do not lie to your wife/partner, be transparent. Not talking about little things like who ate my pudding, though.
Talk to people you trust about your problems, don't throw then into some dark places back in your mind, they'll come back.
Believe in yourself, be consistent on your decisions. Love yourself.


Things I had to learn in hard lessons over this fucking year by doing quite the opposite of those. This is why I hate myself right know. I am trying now to go backwards from the bottom of my list and become a good user, husband, friend. I have to.

If you're "taking the hit," it's because you're going to cost them money somehow, for instance if you did something that is generating a lot of negative press. Follow the money, was my point. Why would they fire someone who is a money-making machine unless there were greater concerns with that particular employee? Even if they're downsizing, the least valuable people are the ones who get cut.

What do you mean by "real property?"

This.
People cant Deal If someone is attacking with pure rage and autism.

If you have the opportunity to be a hero, take it

Never wear turtlenecks

Take care of your self, if you fuck yourself up now you're gonna be in for some shit later on

Don't just fuck; if you like her, make love first

Don't do hard drugs; you'll get addicted and fuck up your body AND brain, which i have already you not to do

If it bleeds, don't fuck it (unless you're brave)

sucking your own dick is still gay (it's a penis in your mouth)

Hold a real sword at least once in your life (no anime faggotry or shit of the like)

Sail a ship, but do not crash or sink it

Pick your battles wisely unless you're able to fight all of them and win, then do that instead

Buy yourself a suit, and wear it well

Oh, and one more thing:

My late great grandfather was in WW1 as an infantry rifleman. He once was chain of commanded into being the ranking officer among his fellow infantry. When they were told to charge a trench, he (according to his friends and their families) yelled this:

"We’re in hell now, so fix your bayonets and take them at their stomachs! Show them fear!"

He didn't make it out of the war, died a hero then and there.

>Limits. Find yours early on and occasionally push them over time.

>Fuck a gym. You have everything you'll ever need at home so get creative, endurance trumps power most every time.

>Women don't know what they want, so know what you want and find a woman to follow your example. It'll be worth it.

>Make time to reflect on yourself, sit on your porch and whittle a branch or light a small bonfire and contemplate life.

>Live by a rule of 3's, it's a tried and true method of limiting yourself from regrets and been around for millennia.

>Try to show respect even when tested but if things take a turn for the worse remain calm, nothing scares people more than an angry, calm person.

In my experience I've watched some really hard working folks get thrown under the bus for druggies and lazy faggots. The company I'm with now is no different, favoritism is a real deal and it ruins companies for both the employer and employee.

IF A NIGGA TALK SHIT, GIVE HIM A HIT

IF A CRACKA TALK SMACK, FUCK HIM VICIOUSLY

You need to reevaluate your life user if having "friends" is the only thing which makes your life worth living.

I'm not saying you need to be a total outcast loner but at the same time, you can go out, strike up a conversation and enjoy time with people like that.

People invest too much into friendships/relationships with most ending at some point in your life.

As the others said, don't, but if you do, keep it simple

retarded argument. if all friendships end somehow some day = friendships are pointless are not worth having, then life ends = life is not worth living, kill yourself

having a laugh with your mates is epic. it the best. having an interesting conversation is a close second

Fuck lots of dudes to make sure youre not gay

I worked in a call center and was the highest seller for almost two years. I was making more in commissions than salaried managers. Everyone loved me. I knew this so I started taking the piss.

I was eventually let go. Moral of the story is no matter how much value you bring, you can only push things so far before they have to let you go, even if it's just to "save face".

brush your teeth, dental work sucks and is expensive

Lurk more

You can't truly love someone that's not also your best friend
Love is great, but you can do without it, there's a lot more important things to care about

You didn't read what I said. You can do all of the things you mention with temporary people.

Never taking life advice from this human waste dumpster of a site

>lot more important things to care about
Such is?

Don't pull the anal beads like your trying to start a lawnmower

Don't use your grandfathers fingerbox without his permission

Sex is just sex. You should never compromise yourself or values to get it. You should never allow yourself to be "placated" by it and you damn sure should never beg for it.

I'm also not saying don't have or seek it. But never lower yourself in order to get it.

This includes being with somebody just becuase you are placated with sex.

The sooner you realize this, the better. Also, the sooner you realize that there is nothing wrong with using escort services, the better.

Got an urge, order an outcall (or go to a massage parlor etc).

Also, one last tip. Never talk to a civilian girl (non escort) whilst horny (especially over text). Jerk off, then continue with the conversation.

Personal development, self-worth and self-reliance, creating things that make you happy
Your happiness shouldn't depend on someone else than you because you'll be with yourself for all your life
Learn to love yourself and then you can love properly

Sure. It takes years to listen to oneself, sometimes a whole life.

And what's even worse, even if you manage to do so, you can eventually forget practicing it

And floss. Even though it sucks.

flossing feels so fucking good though

Fuck as many girls as you can when youre single

Dont worry about the consequences

>Never take life advice from Sup Forums

Philosophy Major here with a trustfund and great connections (basically im going to be fine in life so i can afford to waste a degree)

Anyway, things ive learned from reading and experience:

Generally anxiety about money is detrimental to making money. Try to see money as a fluid thing that needs to be invested, spent and exchanged. The time you spend being overly frugal can be spent on simply making more money.

If the world scares you, stop thinking about it. This is a very underrated rule. American society gives too much credit to anxiety. If youre anxious about something, commit yourself to an activity and take your mind off whats bothering you. Think about the shit that is bothering you only when youre calm.

Most people arent special. In fact, 99% of all humans are going to be unremembered and would have contributed next to nothing to the world. This is fine. If you know you are special then you dont need a pep talk and you will probably do fine in life. If you arent special, dont buy into the bullshit of "anyone can do this"-some people are born athletes, some are born geniuses, youre probably neither. You can still live a great life and acquire wisdom.

Have fun. Honestly the majority of stoics and buddhists and shit lived crappy lives. Their advice on how to live are almost completely unrelatable and inapplicable in the modern world. give yourself luxuries and dont be afraid to reach extremes once in a while.

There is most likely no great beyond and no god. Humans have the ability to imagine things, which is what made us the most successful species. Dont dedicate yourself to a doctrine.

Women are not that bad. If you view women as evil or stupid, you probably wont fuck that many. They just function a different way. But they can critically think as well as any man and can make good friends. Intersex friendships are normal and you can find a lot of such historical accounts. Also i get drunk with all my female friends and only fucked a few of them

>Don't worry about the consequences

Sex, money and fame - no one has enough, even those that have waaay more than you.
Those with lots aren't happier. Those with nothing aren't either.
The secret is balance. There is a path between two extremes. Most people create a false balance by swinging from pole to pole: fat thin, then fat again, conservative liberal, etc etc - don't get fooled.
If you're not in control of yourself - who is?
What tells you when to act and when to think is your feelings. Most people ignore these until they get out of hand. All 3 of these are different.

Being good is absent from nearly everybody's life plan now, and its absent from how everyone is raised. Its all about being obedient or "true to yourself".
Being good will not get you famous or well rewarded, but is the only thing that will keep you calm when looking over your life.
1 gram of intuition is worth 200 pounds of reasoning.

Don't broadcast your opinions or force them on other people, but don't betray your convictions either.

Do not follow fads. Mix genres.

The clean feeling is nice, but it can fucking hurt and is a pain to do when I just want to crash.

that is not the pic i uploaded.

Why tho

>Philosophy Major here with a trustfund

heres where i stopped reading

Listen to your guts. When my cheating ex called and begged me to take her back I listened to my heart and my dick, the whole time my guts were screaming NO NO NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT.

Ugh. Coulda saved myself FOUR YEARS of misery.

women change after the moment they say 'i do'

this is such a crock of shit. "Balance" doesnt exist objectively. youre fooling yourself if you think that "meh middle path" is the way. thats what rich people tell poor people so they dont riot. Take what you want and do as much as you need. a long life is not necessarily good and being "good" is a waste of your potential

real estate. land. ideally you buy cheap housing and rent it out. get someone else to pay for it. when you're ready to retire, you still have steady income from rent. or you can sell it and use the cash to live on

Devil is in the details, also, more details mean more situations where you'll get exposed. Don't worry about fags that tell that you shouldn't lie...all humans do it....we sometimes call it politeness, politics or some other shit. We all lie, we do it to others and to ourselves(that one is the worst one). Be prepared to get caught lying, don't lie for fun, see when it's really important and when it is really called for.

How do I get past a girl who I really like but doesn’t want to be with me? The simple answer is to no be a faggot, but it isn’t a simple issue. Advice?

time heals all wounds

Dont be afraid to sell out. If you can work for the illuminati or throw your values out for money-Do it. No one is gona give you a cookie for being a "hero"

Lying is building up a construct, which will eventually collapse under its own weight. If you're just lying to get a girl, then hope she's dumb enough to believe your lies.

LEO
Love .... Shelly ....

Leo hits the control and shocks himself. He flips about, confused. Earle moves to Leo. Confused and frightened, Leo continues to pump on the control and continues to shock himself. Finally, Earle takes the control from his helpless hand.

EARLE
Poor, Leo. We are all love's fools, more or less.

Earle takes out a pair of shackles, attaches them to Leo's legs.

EARLE
But you will learn, as I have, the value of hate. It makes for better company I assure you.

Always cheat, always win
The only unfair fights will be the ones you loose.

Everyone lies.

Only advice you need: Traps aren’t gay

Hit her on the head with a club, and drag her back to your hut.

time