Minority Report

>Minority Report
>doesn't report minorities

Implying Minority Cruise wasn't the Minority all along.

>12 years a slave
>The black man is still a slave to the white man's oppression to this day

The reboot will fix that problem

>doesn't report minorities

you're confusing it with the evening news

Minority crimes are usually impulsive and rarely planned out which means precogs couldn't see what they were going to do since nigga moments can never be predicted. One minute everything is fine, the next is pic related.

>jurassic world
>its a shitty park

Who is the best comedy duo and why is it Ryan and Colin?

>Jurassic park
>it's actually an island
>Jurassic world
>it's still a fucking island

I'M MAD.

>Jurassic
>The dinosaurs are actually from the Cretaceous period
>Still no feathers

>the last boy scout

>boy scouts are still around to this day

>All Quiet on the Western Front
>actually quite loud

>The Neverending Story
>running time 93 minutes

>the big lebowski
>isn't a big guy

>Armageddon
>world doesn't end

>The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
>Robert Ford is better characterized as a tragic hero than a coward

>X-men
>There aren't exactly 10 of them, and some are female

>the breakfast club
>no one eats breakfast
>not a club, actually just detention

> the wolf of wall street
> no werewolves

>Trainspotting
>not a documentary on the autistic hobby that is taking pictures of trains

>the great escape
>only 3 survived

>Legally Blonde
>the legality of blonde as a hair color is never discussed

Never understood this

>Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
>was clearly engaging in serial killing

>Star Wars
>no wars between stars

>War of the Worlds
>no planetary bodies engage in combat

> saving private ryan
> all die
> some anonymous pilot saves the day

>What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
>Literally nothing.

Juliette Lewis probably gobbled his schlong and sucked those grapes.

Wrong. The big lebowski was the fat one.

>there will be blood
>no blood at any point

>no country for old men
>one of the only main characters to survive is an old man

didn't play country though.

>fortunate son
>it's about an infortunate one

>infortunate

> blade runner
> nobody ran on a knife's edge

>goodfellas
>the fellas keep breaking the law

>implying God would design an animal so ridiculous looking
Scientists don't know shit.

>shooting someone who invited you into their home in the back
>not a coward
Pick one, faglord.

He designed you

>drive
>drives

he's a big guy

>Butiful
>actually a very ugly film

>implying I'm not handsome as shit
You'd fuck me.

ARE THERE ANY ASIAN GIRLS HERE?

>everybody wants some
>I don't want any

Was the movie shit? The book was great, didn't realize they filmed it.

>Thin Red Line
>no red lines to speak of at all

>Super Troopers
>they're all subpar police officers at best

>Life Is Beautiful
>its actually not

>Mad Max Fury Road
>Max isn't that mad, and roads don't have emotions

>400 blows
>not one punch is thrown the whole flick

>raging bull
>not about bull riding

>Inside llewyn davis
>no MRI of llewyn davis

>Lars and the real girl
>girl is actually fake

>Superbad
>it's actually average

>House of Cards
>Frank's house is made of concrete

No experience with the book, so I can't do any weighing in on that part. But the film is very fucking lush to look at and Dustin Hoffman is charming.
Have a complaint in that no one on Sup Forums or anyone I knew in real life, never talked much about the movie on release or even mention that there was a giant fucking orgy at the climax. That wouldn't have been a go-to selling point to me, I just find it weird no one talked about it. You'd think "MOVIE WITH A GIANT ORGY" would be something people would mention if there were ever a chance given.

>The Bridge over the River Kwai
This ones ok actually

>not about horny black man eager to please my wife

>X-men
>not about male-to-female transexuals

It was too thin to see

But there was blood just before the milkshake

>Lawrence of Arabia
>He is from England

This one is not ok

>chopper
>no helicopter or woodcutting related

>mad max
>max is actually sane

>don't breath
>everyone constantly inhaling oxygen