I want to poop. What do, /b?

I want to poop. What do, /b?

brew some coffee and chug it, then rush to your shithouse and let it rip.

Coffee is good, yes. It stimulates the "poop" response. Not kidding. Scientifically proven.

Also, prune juice is good if you're kinda backed up.

Close your eyes and imagine its a dude pulling out his dick.

OP here, what will coffee do exactly?

P.S I've heard that cigarettes help to stop this unnecessary spill of proteins.

Cigarettes are insta-laxatives for me

...

Coffee stimulates the muscles contractions in your intestine. Don't ask me how, I don't remember the science of it. If you're curious enough you can look it up.

You only need a cup or two though.

And starting smoking just to poop is dumb. There are other less cancer causing alternatives.

pick up a phone and dial sixx sixx sixx

>755132658

You misunderstood me. I want to STOP it. I don't want to waste good proteins. I want to absorb it ALL.

And cigarettes are supposed to help with that. I saw that in House. House prescribed cigarettes to diarrhea riddled Santa.

>755132585

Really? How about weed?

>I want to poop.

You really need to work on your communication skills then.

Any not pooping isn't going to happen. It's not how the body works. It's called constipation and will eventually lead to a rupture of the bowel and possibly death if you keep it all backed up in there.

Weed just makes me wanna stick things up my ass, not poop

Bungle reference?

>755133581

My Engrish is not great.

But if I manage to poop at least twice less often, then I'll absorb 2x proteins and minerals and stuff. Not to mention money saved on toilet paper and water to flush it.

>755133702

What kinds of things?

your quoting skills aren't that great either

Again, it doesn't work that way.

Nutrients are absorbed in the small intestine, where the poop is usually still pretty soft and watery, to facilitate the process.

It then moves into the large intestine where water and salts are re-absorbed and is compacted. There isn't a lot of nutrient absorption going on there, like hardly any.

Purposely getting yourself backed up is only going to injure you, not absorb more proteins.

If you want to absorb more proteins, EAT more proteins. Why are you so obsessed with making yourself constipated?

What do you mean?

Kek

Lmfao

People didn't think it's possible to fly not so long ago, let alone to fly to the Moon. I think I'm on something here. I just need to figure out how to do it. What if drink loads of water after eating, would that make poop more watery at the end?

Andy Sixx

>I think I'm on something here
user, let's be real, you're just some random autist. There are literally scientists devoted to researching and studying shit, intestines, etc. If there was any benefit to no shitting, or heavily modifying your diet to affect your shitting cycles, we would know by now. The fact is, our bodies have been refined by evolution for millions of years. The current system, if you will, is already as efficient as it gets.

Ok, now you're just trolling.

You say you want to poop LESS often but now you're talking about making it more watery which will make you poop MORE often.

Seriously, go educate yourself on the digestive process before you permanently hurt or kill yourself. And if you continue with this "eperiment" then I hope you enjoy your colostomy bag.

I'm out.

40.627145 -73.893936

Canarsie park?

You know what I'm talking about. You know what this means.

Look like GPS co-ords to me. You sleeping in a park?

If it's supposed to be MY location, you're WAY off.

Tomorrow.

Bump

...

Hope you don't get mugged while you wait for someone who won't show up.