Ruin a blind date with one sentence

Ruin a blind date with one sentence

I never say the n word

"My therapist says i'm ready"

Please excuse me a moment, I just sharted and need to go freshen up.

After getting a good look at you, I wish I were the blind one.

Lets fuck

Mynemajeff

My friends said they'd give me a good girl. Im dissapointed

You look like my sister, what first attracted you to me?

This always happens so no more blind dates for me.

I called you here to talk about our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

Hi

Can I eat mac n cheese out of your ass hole after this dinner?

What are your political views?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh
say something like "my cat just died" or something
thatd totally kill the mood

or talk to them like youre a friend and not a date/ wanting to fuck

When they say "I'm a transgender"

I’m a full on rapist you know, Africans , dyslexics, children.. that sort of thing.

It's ok, i got a shot for it

What's your favorite pony?

Im going to be very tender, kiss you gently, make sweet passionate love.

Later, Im going to cut your tits off and dig your eyeballs out of their sockets with chopsticks.

DTF ?

I'm gonna make sure your face is on all the missing posters after tonight.

It's not gay to suck a dick if it's feminine.

You don't know my wife, right?

>Want to hear how I earned the nickname, the beef curtain whisperer?

"my ex always blah blah blah"

Sorry I'm late I just throw some commies out of my helicopter.

I'm trans

"I haven't has a herpes outbreak in over a week now!"

Do you know what a rainbowkiss works?

kek

Your tits look just like my sister's

Hey I am necrophile babe

And that’s when I understood what my guidance counselor meant by, “It smells like buttdissy in here.”

The thing a lot of people don't understand is being a white supremacist doesn't always mean you're racist. Black people are okay, they just need to be kept separate from us whites. Here, I have some screenshots of statistics on my phone, look!

Nice, you look just like my sister!

>Want to come out to my tent, and see my newest missing-persons picture collage?

I have a gun under the table. Hand over your wallet and noone gets hurt.

It sure smells like fish in here. Is that you?

Sorry I'm crying, it's just you remind me so much of my dead wife. I'll always remember her last words to me. "What are you doing with that pillow?!"

What are you doing here Sis?

Who's*. If you're gonna talk about mlp at least get it right you casual/normie.

Do you know how to tri force?

Sooooo...butt stuff?

Who's noone?

say "bazinga" after every joke attempt

I post in /mlp/

Do you know an Internet site named Sup Forums?

>leans forward
Let's not make this rape any harder than it needs to be.

Hi my name is solomon and i'm jewish

“Hitler did nothing wrong.”

What's your favorite MeMe?

>Roses are red
>Violets are blue
>All I want
>Is to kill you

nobody told me you were a nigger

Thats how you get in someones pants m8

Well he lost

Poor-poor, crow triple seven!
FUCK YOU!

the fucked english adds to the effect u dumb fag

Why are you wearing those silly sunglasses?

My mistake

Do you like anal?

Oh yeah, I remember you! You blocked me on facebook.

Oh...you’re a roodypoo...

halloween's over toots

Ah, this feels exactly like the date I went on with your mother back in high school.

No it does not you casual.

hope you the kind of gal to pop a finger in a dudes pooper

Mmm... *licks lips* These are a delectable pair of milkers I see before me, *snorts* mind if I give them a lick?

MAGA!

I love you.

Holy shit you’re a fucking fag. You tried so hard there. Just the utter formation of that statement says you are a kissless neckbeard

niggers am i right

at least i ruined the date though

I'm not rich or famous

"i voted for trump."

90% of women will get up and leave right there.

Black men are the epitome of male masculinity.

Sorry I’m late, my klan meeting ended 15 minutes ago.

If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?

... geddit?

What is your favorite meme?

can see bobs and vagene?

You do like dick, right?

I'm not actually blind.

What’s that smell?

Hi, I am OP

> do you like mlp?
> I’m a nice guy who will care about you and love you
> I’m a well trained master of the sword
> my mom forces me on dates or she’ll cancel my wow account
> do you have a dick?
> I’m a superior intelligent individual
> are you open for a threesome with me and my waifu?
> my mom didn’t give me enough money to pay for us both

"So, what do you think about all these niggers fags ruining god's great country?"

tried this on my cousin, she dumped me on the spot

I hate peoples knees

Can't Wait until we both live at my mom's

You're funny looking.

Nah I agree with the other guy. Being a proper pony fag is way more autistic.

I- i- i wrote a p-p-poem for you...

Fat feminists

"I'm like an ally"

Melissa Cheyenne Lloyd

>my pronouns are

'let me show you some WWYD threads on Sup Forums"

>The gender pay gap is a myth.
or
>Can I get the door for you, m'lady? *tips*

>I wrote you some poetry.

>That's too expensive, order something from the kid's menu.

>I'll be there in a sec, my mom is finding a parking spot.

I'm looking for a girl who can entertain with my intellect.

jesus christ, you win

personal experience¿?