Been suffering from chronic depression on and off for over 14 years...

Been suffering from chronic depression on and off for over 14 years, have attempted suicide and planned(many times) the murder of the guy who raped me. AMA

P.S. if you guys want a rundown with greentext then I might be willing after a few drinks.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_trauma_syndrome
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

This thread is gonna be boring

did he cum in you? did breed you? did he own that hot hole of yours?

the whole attempted suicide but failed bugs me, can't you jump off a building you faggot?
>hurr durr let me poke my belly button with a needle and hope to die
are you retarded?

Hello there not sure if you know about this, but this offered me a lot of insight to me (rape victim as well)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_trauma_syndrome

Know that feel. I am considering ending my life everyday.
I really don't feel any joy at all.

I'll listen user. Either the rape or the murder plans...you choose.

He did, I am a dude so he did not impregnate me, I guess he did.

how was he raped you

why would you want to end your life because someone raped you? you had a cock up your ass, that's that. After 2 shits it's like his cock has never been there, the semen gets flushed out.

Take five tabs of lsd, and realign your chakras, user. That's what fixed my shit.

I chugged a bottle of aspirin, lost consciousness and woke up the next day with a burnt esophagus and internal bleeding. But obviously survived. So yeah, pretty retarded I guess.

The only thing that has helped m is the little things. Finding a good show to b excited for, my dog, games.

jump off a building mr.aspirin.
I mean you want to kill yourself, you might as well do it correctly, don't paralyze yourself, then you'll never be able to kill yourself again. Jesus christ. unless you're a master at holding your breath till you die, which I don't think anyone is able to do.

I'll do the story in a bit, the plans have gone as far as standing outside of his sister's house waiting for him to come out, knife in hand. I have avoiding getting a gun because I know I would go through with it in a heart beat and then end my life.

No offence OP, but this. I mean, big fucking deal. You got fucked in the ass. So what? Sure you can get pissed off about it and get revenge or whatever, but why are you letting it make you feel like shit?

Okay, I'll wait for the story. Murder-suicide would be kinda pointless...

Over the course of 4-5 months, he was an older kid in the area. We were best friends at one point. I was 8 and he was around 11-12. I was small for my age so he easily over-powered me. Strangled me, penetrated me, drowned me in a lake, forced me to do oral, threatened to kill me and my family with his father's shotgun.

Yeah I know you're a dude. File name.

I was 8 when it happened and it went on for 4-5 months of beating, forced oral, penetrating, drowning, and twisted mind games. It affected me a lot after word got out and I was bullied in school for it, I thought I had to be gay or a girl, I began to hat everyone and everything. It's not something that goes away. As much as I act like I give 0 fucks about shit. A day never goes by without it playing in my head over and over.

I fucking hate children dude

the DA in my district regularly decides not to press charges against kids cause "they don't know right from wrong"

some DAs are just too fucking stupid to be DAs

you're retarded, why didn't you tell your dad, moreover why didn't you kill him, if you got butt-raped over the course of 4-5 months, then you had at least one night to think about it, shove a knife in your sock and stab him by the lake when he tried to stick it up your analtality. Man the retards never stop breeding.

i was sexually molested for years buy another dude (im male) between ages 6-11 - atleast you got a one time deal with a member of the opposite gender u pussy

>threatened to kill me and my family with his father's shotgun.

not OP but think this is the answer

> (You)
>I was 8 when it happened and it went on for 4-5 months of beating, forced oral, penetrating, drowning, and twisted mind games. It affected me a lot after word got out and I was bullied in school for it, I thought I had to be gay or a girl, I began to hat everyone and everything. It's not something that goes away. As much as I act like I give 0 fucks about shit. A day never goes by without it playing in my head over and over.
hmmm...okay...sorry for being an ass...have you tried counselling?

how is he going to do that if you stab him in the neck? I really don't see the logic, he's dead. End.

My father left when I was younger, never really knew him. I was ignorant of the fact that he couldn't realistically harm my family. I had grown numb to it after awhile and after many times of wanting to kill him I thought I would get in trouble for it. I weighed my odds and figured it would be best to ride it out. You are right in the sense that I was retarded. But I doubt many 8 year old would handle that situation any better.

It was a dud that raped me and it wasn't a one time thing. Wish it was just once or not at all. XD

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness


don't blame yourself for a second man

children are not equiped to handle these types of sadists

nothing about this was your fault

dude I killed my house cat at the age of 9 and staged the kill like it got stuck under the washing machine and suffocated, what are you talking about. You could've pulled it off 100%, you were just being a pussy, I don't know how old your faggot ass is now. But something as simple as involving someone else in it would solve it. Let an adult in on it and have said adult follow you to the place of the usual meeting for the butt-rape and you're good to go.

I took therapy for a few years and it only help while I was actively taking it. I am afraid that if I shared my mental state now they would put me in a fucking straight jacket.

If you kill him, you get more depressed and more raped in jail

You're right, just wish the 8 year old me realized that.

not if it's self defense you faggot, Op's asshole can be swabbed and rapist's semen can be identified, end.

look man, the past is in the past, find him, make his life a living hell for 4-5 months then let him loose.

Sounds like a solid plan, if my 8 YO self would have thought about it instead of just trying to block everything out then I might not be like this. Thanks for the hindsight though.

as I said, find him now, torture him for 4-5 months, but torture him quite badly then let him go.

are u a female? cuz im a male and was raped by a dude, with a dicc

OP here, had a few drinks. greentext time.

>be me, 8 YO, small for my age
>had a 11-12 YO friend
gonna call him Ted
>outside playing while my mother is cleaning th yard
>ted convinces me to com onto the wrap around portion of the porch
>pins me down, puts his full weight on my chest and dry humps me
>whispers in my ear that if I yell he would kill me
>few minutes pass and my mother calls us in for lunch
>we go in like nothing happened
>ted leaves and i get no sleep that night not sure what happend

To be Continued...

I am a dude. 23 yo now,

>planned
>not executed
>not succeeded
>not fail'd
gtfo weakling subhuman virgin fag.
come back when you got pictures of his ass with a pole in it.

sage

Well he did rape me so I don't think I am a virgin. Not even counting my fiance of 9 years. But yeah, I want to kill him so bad. I get giddy thinking about it. Is that weird?

no its pretty common

Does anybody other than the person you talked to in therapy know about it?

>ted and i hangout almost everyday
>things start to get worse has he forces my clothes off when he spends the night at my house
>mother working late so i have to stay over his house
>he shows me his stuff animal collection with holes cut out where their gentiles should be
>find out him and his dad jerk off together to girls gone wild late at night
>one of the nights i stay over he forces me to come into his older sister's room as he jerks off next to her sleeping
>takes her thongs and puts them on, forces me to
>his parents are always arguing
>father pushes the mother around, would probably beat the shit out of her if I was not a witness
>pretty sure father is sexually abusing ted and his 2 sisters
>scared he might do something to m as well
>shit with ted continues

To be continued...

My mother, my brother, my fiance, a few close friends and a bunch of people I used to go to middle school with after word had gotten out and I got bullied for getting raped and was called a faggot a lot.

Is there any interest or did the thread die off? If so I am just gonna get hammered till I pass out.

yes, il listen if you want to continue

>chronic depression

pick one.

What is his name and where does he live? I want to do it user.

Hmm...so I guess you'd obviously have motive. Tough to get away with it.

I wouldn't want to give hints as to who I am, besides I will kill him before I die. I just want to try to enjoy life the best i can till then.

I'll have a drink with you user. A nice scotch. Lagavulin 16.

I am sure a lot of people have forgotten aside from the ones I have told myself. I'll do it someday, when there is not much left for me in life.

yeah keep it rollin dude I'm only at half mast

>hi I’m user I’m choosing not to do anything and am actually in love with the fact that I have depression because “at least I feel something”

Grow up, exercise and drink plenty of water. That’s my solution for all the things

If you wanna be better than the next guy then think, how do I do and be better.

Makes sense I suppose. Do your best to try and get away with it, but be ready to off yourself? Or maybe you could even do the time when you're older...

stupid question, MOAR!!!!!

gay

Fuck Op get to it I need to spank my salami

I watched someone lose their shit in an ego death off 5 tabs. They tried to kill me and 2 of my friends but were too fucked up to succeed. Do it op it's a good idea.