Be me

>be me
>In coma since 2007
>Wake up 2017
>See hot nurse
>"Hey beautiful"
>Be accused of sexual harassment

>Be GUILTY of sexual harassment

>be me
>standard working day
>ohno. dinosaur
>trex literally ruins my workpace
>manager returns
>try to weasel way out of it
>lose job, search for dinosaur
>found him
>rigorously plan execute
>mfw I cant win

If you were in a coma for 10 years when you woke up you wouldn't be able to do a fucking thing. You might be able to eat.

kek

>be me
>12 dollars left
>two hot cashiers
>carwash
>mfw they pull dinosaur card

wut

>be me
>fat fuk
>go to drive off cliff
>mfw it starts raining
>oneofthesedays.gif

>be me
>family hike
>oh, a tree
>we start to climb
>wtfisthat??
>see elongated penistrunk beasts

>be me
>gettinglate
>need to sleep in car
>mfw government steal hat

>be me
>in collapsable submarine
>squid eye
>mfw

>be me, female
>new job
>two buttons
>such options
>its too complicated
>find out its for deviant dinosaur shit
>mfw I lose control

>be me
>have booty goggles
>sense vibrate
>itsnotdinosaur
>mfw i sense the sexual tension with my sis

>be me
>wife is pregnant
>shes looking swollen
>considering leaving it
>mfw ppl start checking her poops

kek

>be me
>know I've never been anyone else
>wonder why I start stories with "be me"
>no longer sure who I am

>be me
>find dragonboy
>eggshell torture

10/10

>be me
>on the right
>cucked hubbi with 12 blax
>howdoibreakthistohim.gif

>be me
>mathematics
>numbers flowing
>head is buzzing
>mfw dmt kicks in

this nigga is off the chain

Hahahahahahaha

>be me
>crocodile pet
>itkeepsgrowingdude
>mfw reality sinks in

>be me
>"tits or gtfo"
>they track my coords
>they sick their dino on me
>smoke in mirrors, my friend
>smoke. in. mirrors.

>be me
>find scaly exercise ball
>it expands and contracts
>mfw its aroused

>be me
>first day of college
>proffessor looks weird
>"are you E.T.?"
>his face when

>be me
>we have our firstborn
>whatthefuckisthatshit?
>wait, this is a fucking kid?

>be me
>not into beasties
>go for jog on tropic island w/bf
>foundchi.jpeg
>get chased by giant iguana
>climb up rocks and hide behind waterfall
>nigger guana takes deep breath of crotch
>OwO w-what the fuck!
>long flat tongue licks tits and face
>mfw
>oh... bf got ate
>no soyboy for this lizard lady

DAFUQ?

>be us
>hawaii vacation
>discover new species
>mfw giant emu

>be me, at work
>need to shit bad
>boss knocks
>notnow.gif

>be me
>in a damn, lizard party
>a herd appears
>my god, theyve evolved
>run.gif

>be me
>godimlonelyhere
>so many dinosaurs
>notenoughboys.jpg

>be me
>in car with granpa
>he clearly has a boner
>he cant hide it
>itsgettingweird
>mfw i hide behind technology

>be me
>landlord
>rent is due
>check up on ty ty
>dontgivemethoseyestyrone

>be me
>female
>blocks on screen
>peanutcannotcomputer
>mfw i realize im fucking retarded

>be me
>make original bread for Sup Forumstards
>realize it's 2018
>they're all redditors who only care about traps and faggotry

>be me
>decide to replace pedobear
>useownface
>realize how nerdy i look

Max kek

>be me
>girls EX approaches
>hes...black
>gutreaction.gif
>please her furiously
>"yeah what now darkie"

>Be me
>I find the hole
>ThisIsWhereTyroneUnzipped,gif

>be me
>encounter a feminist
>ohboyididitnow.gif

>be me
>april 16th, 11:59pm 59 sec
>TAXDAY.GIF

lol

Honestly tho. My dad was falsely accused of this shit. It pisses me off

user you are way too good for this place.

...

>be me
>see amazement
>puggle jump
>we speechless
>jew inspired.gif

>be me, in panama
>guy wants to see it
>yousaidyouwouldntlaugh

>be me
>i sharted

>be me, trex
>come home from mine
>linda has food
>goat for dinner
>"thanks babe"
>*kisses*
>she leaves room
>enjoy meal in peace
>goditsbeenalongday.gif

NIGGERS FUCKING RUIN EVERYTHING

>take our glass, tyrone
>or my crotch
>but not our lives
>gif

put me in screencap

>be me
>just eating jello
>spill some on vagine
>veliciraptor under table
>laps it up
>alongwithmypelvis.gif

...

retard

>be me
>glass is shacking
>water moving
>this inspires me
>gif

>be me
>in jurassius
>occupation: dino therapist
>l meet with dinosaur couple
>they want a divorce
>i sigh
>they want an abortion
>dontknowwhatosay
>justlaugh.gif

>be me
>shirtless
>mfw the universe rotates

>be me
>trap in cages
>my whole life
>ruined
>fuck.gif

>be me
>meet dino
>did not end well
>went home
>opened my diary
>i started to write
>"dinosaur not as..
>..kind as i thought."
>mfw its all over

>be me
>hear crinkles
>hear tussles
>jimmies rustling
>phallus flowing
>fuckimdead.gif

>be me
>7'11" black man
>dont care that jakes next to me
>immediatelypreparethroat.gif

>be me
>covered in dirt
>"where u been mane"
>me:"WORK, TYRONE."
>now get ur eyes off mybitch

Thx user. this thread made me forget my crippling depression for a while

women are now sick with power. they crave ruining a man

>be me
>on left
>drive in movie
>scary scene
>girls screams
>i fondle
>charges pressed on me
>harrassment
>mightaswellsodoku.gif

>be me
>stupid fucking dinosaur
>see people machine
>where people
>might as well bite this muffler

least it didn't go well and you had to wait till a cozy night back at his place to find out he was still pre-op

Posting in epic bread, haven't been this. Entertained since the plague doctor thread

>be me
>boss is mad
>is now invading my privacy
>SteamCloak did not work
>askforarefund :(

I call this one:
"Lurking Pedosaur"

>be me
>staring at faggot
>he in eggshell
>staytherebitch.gif

>be me
>Jurrisiparksius Rex
>little man hold firestick
>me want
>cable too expensive.gif

>be me
>swipe vehicle
>i roar
>"come back soon!"
>gif for proof
> :( i may be cold blooded but i have feelings too

>be me
>I hide for the temple
>Temple of Shu'roos
>where i am safe
>safe from dinoser
>butt i cannot work
>a
>schematic.gif

>be me
>mydecisiontobuyahookerhasfinallybackfiredonme.jpg

>be me
>my sister and i share tender experience
>while staring at picture
>ofadeadman.jpg

Yes, cause you'd be totally able to speak after 10 years of coma, faggot.

After a long time witout movement bones begin to "spread" throughout the body.
With this, moving places like your fingers, jaw, legs, arms, and so on become hard (no pun intended) what makes it impossible to move. This whole thing is irreversible.
Also the muscles suffer from a lack of movement and get weak.
So, even if you woke up from a coma that long, you would only be able to make a few noises and barely move your tongue, retard

>be me, below
>wife and nephew wearing yellow
>penis panchos
>itsnotraininganymore.gif

>be me, in pic
>john: "condors"
>"what about them"
>"they are going extinct"
>"idontgiveaFUCKJOHN".gif

>be me
>approaching sign
>such ominousity
>such implication
>immediate orgy
>behind the camera

"where did that come from?"

>be me
>in a park with dinosaur
>do they know im a deviant?
>do they know i am wicked?
>the implication, ohhh
>....the....
>....implication.gif

>be us
>in a helicopter
>aroused
>we are lowering
>blood pressure increasing
>bad case of bends
>cellular decompression
>crippling regret
>planecrash!
>can they see the string?
>mfw they edit the ending >.

>be me
>perfect friend
>says"malcolm was right. look."
>i stare more intentionally
>the situation is stupid
>realize how dumb friend is
>they are fucking eggshells,
>not malcolm
>gif

>be me
>behind log
>watching dino flock
>they move like birds
>wearelogmen.gif

>be me
>the lid wont close
>this is for such prevent dinosaurdeath
>do not want.gif

...

Terrible attempt and you should be aware of it.

>be me
>still behind log
>witness beastfeast
>godthatlooksappetizing

Immediately
Embrace
Your
Inner
Dinosaur

>be me
>Wonder what's going on in this thread?
>mfw

You need to get on the floor
There is a dinosaur

ho fug...

>be me
>coworkers dont yet know
>you can make a gun
>with your finger

>be me
>42 FT dino
>step in own turd
>nothungryforhumananymore.gif

OK now this time - dare!

worst godzilla movie ever made