Hey, Sup Forumslacks. Yesterday, something I thought completely impossible happened, and my parents called a family meeting to announce that they are getting divorced. I'm 20 and in college, and of our 5 siblings the youngest is 6.
What can I do to help my family get through this tough time? What should I be focusing on, other than my studies which I've already got a handle on.
>inb4 go to /adv/
Yeah, because I want my life advice in the hands of blue-pilled weepy dickgirl fucks.
Why are they divorcing?
Redpill them about how disastrous divorced parents is for kids. Cite stats about the number of criminals who were only raised by one parent or separated parents. If you can prove divorce is degenerate, then you might win.
N-nice picture...
Slap your mother and tell her to stop being a whore.
Then slap your dad and tell him it's not your responsibility to slap his women in line so he needs to grow a pair.
OP, it sucks, but you need to take charge of your family. And that means you need to raise your siblings. Your parents have abrogated their filial duties and you are the only person with full legitimacy.
Hey at least you never watched your own father get cucked by your mother.
There's nothing you can do, your parents fucked up and put their personal feelings over the emotional well-being of their young children.
My dad says, to put it very softly, because much of this I'm in the dark about, but he basically says "She was a nagging bitch."
>Redpill them about how disastrous divorced parents is for kids.
I suggested this to my dad. He said "Our arguments were effecting the kids." But he also said that my mom would be an obnoxious weepy bitch for DAYS on end, when I personally witness that she can be a weepy bitch, she usually gets her shit together after a few hours, or by next morning.
Stay with daddy.
>Slap your mother and tell her to stop being a whore.
She wants us to stay together.
>Then slap your dad and tell him it's not your responsibility to slap his women in line so he needs to grow a pair.
he says that he's stood firm against my mother plenty of times behind the scenes, where I would never know, and he doesn't like to air out his shit, like mom does.
Tell them to suck it up while your siblings are not adults
Just call them shit parents and show them some facts.
Send them both a card, thanking them for keeping it together until you were an adult without fucking up your development and beliefs about parenting. Then say too bad about your siblings, but at least you dodged that bullet.
>Send them both a card, thanking them for keeping it together until you were an adult without fucking up your development and beliefs about parenting. Then say too bad about your siblings, but at least you dodged that bullet.
Nice idea. I'll work on that right now.
stay with both of them as best as possible. dont fucking break it off with either for their own personal reasons. dont take sides.
jsut dont man, dont. not worht it
That would be hilarious and pretty effective
>thanks mom and dad for divorcing after I become a grown-up so i don't become a fuck-up
>too bad for little john but whatev's
Your family needs an anchor. Your parents have abandoned that responsibility. Your brothers/sisters deserve much better.
Demand custody. You're their brother. And at this point, the head of family.
Tell them he dealt with it for 20 years, he can deal with it for another 12.
His second wife won't give a shit.
>Grandfather came out last thanksgiving that he's been seeing another woman for the last forty years
>Bought a house and property with her
>Up and walked out on thanksgiving dinner because she died and her family wanted him to spend time with them
My poor fucking grandmother.
Fuck that. OP has the age of majority. show up in court and demand custody of your siblings. They are your family.
>Demand custody. You're their brother. And at this point, the head of family.
Holy shit. How would I even begin that? I don't have a job yet.
Just make sure your mom doesn't become a single mom and that your dad is paying for childsupport. Healthy children need both parents. So you need to support that childrens relationship with both parents. Like weekly visitations and so on. I speak from experience since my parents divorced when I was 4 and both tried to take full custody of me and my little sister. I wish you luck.
You can gain government benefits that will actually sustain you and your siblings until they're of age.
If both parents are mentally fucked up, you'll even be granted custody of the house and child support from both parents until your youngest hits 18.
Think of it as the ultimate bitchslap.
Just be aware that raising two kids isn't a joke.
Yet. The point is going on record. You don't have to win the case right out the gate. You can always get custody later.
This is a long campaign bro. Make the demand now, get rejected, get a job a couple years from now and demand it again.
obviously a lawyer sicne you dont have the precedents. it's not unheard of, but if youre not stable employed, whatever
Idiots think dysfunctional couple is better than clean separation. You fuckers don't know what the fuck you are talking about.
Have your parents attend counseling, if that doesn't work. Let them go separate ways
>Just make sure your mom doesn't become a single mom and that your dad is paying for childsupport
Well, for now, my dad says he'll be living in the basement for about a year, before thinking about going off on his own. We're not poor, but we're not rich.
stupid. if you're 20 then they're at the youngest pushing 50. so what are they going to do , try to fulfill some kind of life dream at the expense of your family at 50 years of age? the only acceptable reasons for divorce so late in the game is if one party is constantly unfaithful, abusive or a drug addict.
but I have a feeling they just need some "me" time. this is the typical selfish neo western attitude, and the reason our civilization is falling apart
Talk w/ divorce attnys. Go to reddit -- I'm not even joking -- and ask them too. Because it's infested with normies, you'll find a big population that includes lawyers who can answer your questions.
Also this, you could win. If you are convinced you can do a better job then the parents, for whatever reason.
>If both parents are mentally fucked up
Well, even my "bitchy" mom, has subtle signs of neediness, but I think most people would agree that she's a relatively normal person. I mean I might be biased, but compared to what I saw visiting my ex-GF's family, I know what a fucking tragedy looks like, and it's not either of my parents.
Immediately skipped reading replies so forgive me if its been covered, but user all you can do is be the strongest present male figure to all of your younger (even some of the young but older) siblings as soon as you notice your Dad start to slip.
Im sure he may be a great man but Ive seen it happen where one life starts to overwrite the over and its not pretty for anyone caught in the wake.
Tl;dr be the bigger brother that you always seen greentext stories about now your parents decided they are too selfish to stay together.
Correcting: dad isn't paying childsupport*
>Yet. The point is going on record. You don't have to win the case right out the gate. You can always get custody later.
Is it vital that I make demands NOW, and if I make them LATER they will be invalid unless I start NOW?
Pretty spoopy
see Seriously. Stop fucking with people who probably don't know.
Grow up and be a man. If your parents are smart, you'll have no problem. But if they're dumb. Be aware and make do.
Tell your parents to quit being selfish cunts. Scream at them if you have to. They are being stupid. My parents worked out their divorce 15 years ago and now they are almost at their 30th anniversary are are HAPPY. Just shame them. You're 20 tears old, you have the power to change the situation. Tell them that you will kill yourself if they divorce if you have to. Think of your young siblings. They shouldn't have to experience such bullshit.
They will not be happy post-divorce. NOBODY IS.
>he says that he's stood firm against my mother plenty of times behind the scenes
Horseshit. If she's a constantly whiny, nagging pain in the ass he hasn't properly trained her.
A relationship is NOT a partnership.
Having co-CEOs never works; having a Captain and a first mate does.
>the strongest present male figure to all of your younger (even some of the young but older) siblings
I am the oldest for whatever else it may or may not matter we came out, Boy(me, 20), Girl(16), Boy(12), Girl(10), Boy(7).
Laughable. A 20 year old telling his parents what to do?
Kek must be slipping, this deserved quints.
Yes. Family court is all about precedents and all that jazz. It will defer primarily in all cases to the biological parents. Mother first, father second. But primarily, always in the best interests of the child.
For you, a biological sibling of the age of majority, you have a secondary claim which can be granted if the biological parents are unfit, for whatever reason.
I don't know the reasons behind the divorce, but you do. If you feel there is a legit reason for you take take charge of your siblings, then you must make these reasons known NOW. emphasis on the NOW. Otherwise you will have no shot further down the line if you can't make a compelling case immediately.
>20 years old
>not an adult
you are 20 years old
deal with it like a man you pussy
I knew a woman whose husband cheated on her for decades. He's an entrepreneur type now in his 80s already and probably finally fully retired, very authoritarian personality. He had a mistress on the side for a long time. His wife was a housewife. Their only son, an idealistic type with lots of ideas and little initiative, died in his late 30s or early 40s if I recall. Anyway, they had a lot of wealth, but this geezer's wife went around all day looking for bargains and sales even for normal grocery store items like tomatoes. I'm sure he treated his mistress to all kinds of expernsive holidays, etc., but his wife would be lucky to buy a new inexpensive dress every once in a while. The wife was basically as miserable and cucked as it gets, but that was her life and she knew no other way. I think she died a couple of years ago. I'm pretty sure no one imagines when they're 16-18 that that's how their life is going to turn out. So many hopes and aspirations. Life's a bitch and then you die.
Kill yourself so as not to drain resources.
My parents divorced when I was 4-5 and after that I didn't see my dad a lot (maybe once or twice a month, more or less).
Tbh, I really didn't notice anything different, maybe because I was too young.
I feel like it affected my older sisters more since they were still in high school.
My point is, you should probably worry about your teenage siblings and how they deal with it.
How high is your father's IQ?
Get the fuck out of there asap and never look back.
I'm seeing a lot of young ages there which reinforces my point even more. I assume you lurk here so you've seen what happens when they go off the rails, if the memes are real then theyre all fucked unless you step in as an artificial father figure for when your Dad isnt there/ they are at your Mums.
Same guy you replied to. Its a bit blunt when I read it back - I expected the thread to be abandonded so sorry aha
It takes time. Make sure that neither your dad nor your mother gets the idea of demanding full custody of children. That's where the bad things start. My father drank because he loved my mother ans my mother left with my father's friend. It was a huge mess. And I didn't have a older sibling who is 20 and could make rational desicions during those times.
>How high is your father's IQ?
I don't know. He's a smart guy. He's had to turn down high-responsibility promotions that would have payed less or less stably to support all the eating out my mom likes to do.
>You're 20 tears old
>>MFW that's no typo
This user your parents have failed you all.
Help the younger ones. You are old enough to get it, but the youngsters have problems with families coming apart.
This is out of your control. your dad is selfish he won't listen and he'll never be able to understand how much more this affects your sibling then the arguments that happen.
OP, my best advice for you is to be an emotional rock for your younger siblings, and to work against this happening to your own kids.
cry about it you big baby!
>tfw no young siblings to nurture in times of stress
You'll be just fine but your younger siblings are fucked.
Just hope your brothers turned out smart. Your younger sisters needs more father figure or they'll just ride the cock carousel all their life so be there for them.
Your trajectory needs to be to build yourself a functioning household as soon as is feasable.
Do your parents have a non idiotic plan for the kids?
ask them if they support your siblings getting shot
gas the kikes and begin the race war obviously.
This.
THE FIRE RISES, PRAISE KEK!
>Just hope your brothers turned out smart.
It's hard for me to really evaluate my siblings intelligence.
My 12 yo brother has a speech impediment, but he is very good at gifted children math class showed signs of autiste perfectionism when it came to editing the finer details of sprite assets when I got him RPG maker.
I can't really say my 7 yo brother is dumb or smart. He's a child, and he seems to be learning thing well enough.
>Your younger sisters needs more father figure or they'll just ride the cock carousel all their life so be there for them.
Both of my sisters are talented drawers, and read alot of books. My 16 yo sister is very high performing in her sports team, and struggling with HER gifted program studies mostly because she has to balance it against her obligations to her team.
>Parents divorced when I was 10
>Dad had been cucked by Mum as she had an affair
>Takes her back in for us five kids
>She goes off and has another affair, this time initiating the divorce
>When she moves out, Dad lets our dogs inside (They used to live in kennels)
>Was pretty fucked up for several months
>Me, and my two younger siblings would sleep in the same room as our Dad
>Not share the same bed, as we were all being mopey cunts about how our happy family got split apart
>Dad informed me recently that he was doing horribly through that time, but he was keeping it together for us
>Would rotate day by dad with parents
>Monday Evening, Wednesday Evening, Friday Evening and majority of Saturday Evening with Mum
>Rest of time with Dad
We're all pretty functional now a decade later. All of us are red-pilled and hate degeneracy. And we all prefer our Dad over our Mum which feels horrible to say but its true. A decade later our Mum also realized what its like to be a Mum as we started going to uni.
The divorce started because my Dad paid to much attention to us kids and to little to her. Now shes finally realizing kids are what matters as we start to do our own thing.
Just thought I'd share it and that it doesn't always turn out badly. But you do need both parents in your life I believe. (Also helped we live in small town so parents live ten minutes away from eachother.)
GL OP and look after those siblings of yours. My elder brother whos three years older then me managed to keep all us siblings in line, and look out for us when we needed it. Be that guy.
You're parents are selfish. Sorry. Post there photo. Now everybody will suffer. Less money two homes. More anger.
So much this OP. Even if you don't go for custody, you need to accept that your parents have shifted the filial responsibility to you. They are going to go off and find new partners and whatever, but you OP, will remain. Along with your siblings.
You came to Sup Forums for advice. Fight degeneracy. This is always Sup Forums advice. Teach your brothers that this is NOT okay. And teach your sisters that Men can actually be there for them long term and that they should never settle for less.
This is a horrible burden to put on a 20 year old OP. But it is your burden to bear.
>Do your parents have a non idiotic plan for the kids?
Well dad's just living in the basement for a year, so since no new house/apartment is entering the equation, I don't know if that's a big deal or not.
Wait. Your dad is living in your moms basement?
>Post there photo.
No thanks. I'm not doxxing myself, under the even the MOST PEACEFUL circumstances, and the last thing I want is to let spite blind my actions.
>Wait. Your dad is living in your moms basement?
Well it's a 2 floor house, 3 floors if the unfinished basement counts, so yeah. Dad bought everything though.
Divorce is pure degeneracy. As someone who had to deal with it my entire childhood (my parents had a very messy debacle) I can confirm that anyone who wants to breed better be ready to commit their life to someone.
>Well it's a 2 floor house, 3 floors if the unfinished basement counts, so yeah. Dad bought everything though.
4 floors if the tiny attic counts.
No getting past spite OP. You are a grown man, and you have underage siblings who are being thrown into uncertainty. You need to be their new rock, but you cannot do this by respecting your parents feelings.
>Divorce is degeneracy. You need to fight the degeneracy.
This is the last sentiment I would want to argue with, but as far as all the poster suggesting I take legal action and even those that aren't I should mention that I'm not squeaky clean here.
I introduced my now 16 yo sister to the idea of questioning religion, with TheAmazingBanana, and Penn and Teller's Bullshit, and we watched anime and other things, and basically became really great friends.
Being a homeschooled sheltered piece of nigger trash (muh feelings got hurt in high school), I had little exposure to other women, and a couple times I masturbated in front of her. She rationalized it as just goofy, but one day when I told her I had a crush on her, and she quickly ran out of the room. at the time she said we could still be friends but it would be weird, BUT SINCE THEN, she's hated me, and made no secret of it.
She tried telling my other parents about it, and since they love me, and know that I'm basically well intentioned they've done their best to keep that scandal under wraps. Since I'm the most popular sibling in the house, her primal hatred of me has become a kind of generalized hatred of everyone else in this house, and while it's easy to criticize her for acting irrationally, it's my degenerate and unchecked impulses that are entirely to blame.
I'm so disgusted with what I did and I would never do anything even resembling it again, but for the purposes of this discussion I think it's important for you Sup Forumslacks to know this.
Why are your parents getting divorced OP?
If they are hostile to one another your siblings may end up fucked up in the crossfire.
Otherwise I don't see why you'd need to intervene, I doubt your brothers and sisters will be any more fucked up than normal.
Unless they want to literally split the family, which is autistic.
I'm from a divorced family and my parents had fights all the time even after the divorce, there is only one worse case scenario and it's the total split one. I can't imagine a life without my sister.
Tell them they are breaking a sacred vow, that they are immature children and you never want to hear any bitching from either of them ever again.
Then just move on and try ensure they don't ruin there lives dating fuck ups.
>Fedora-tipping leddit atheist who's jerked off in front of his sister
Hory shet, your entire family is degenerate aren't they?
The arguments effecting the kids is a meme that is designed to sooth the mind of self-centered fucks too weak to actually address their problems.
>Hory shet, your entire family is degenerate aren't they?
Nope. Just me.
Don't worry user, Lena Dunham molested her sister and look how successful she is
This. Tell them you understand that the only reason for their divorce is purely selfish and that is the first thing you think of when you see them now.
Christ dude. I would claim a troll, but trolls are not so detailed.
If that shit came out in a custody dispute, nope nope nope.
Afraid OP, you have an even worse chore in front of you. You need to have a talk with your sister, and involve her in the master plan to stabilize the family.
>You need to have a talk with your sister, and involve her in the master plan to stabilize the family.
Alright. This is a challenge since we barely ever talk. At times it's seemed like she completely disowned and considered me dead to her, but there have been sparingly few moments (one of which was as recent as a month ago) where she has engaged in a short civilized chat with me about nothing in particular, while not angry.
Also, I should note that when the family meeting was announced, she seemed incredibly apathetic. I don't want to judge her too harshly since apparently for whatever reason both the girls found out in advanced and everyone deals with sadness in their own way. She joked in her regular bitchy tone of voice that "us girls don't care because we're cold hearted bitches."
>parents getting divorced
>sister dismisses masturbation in front of her as "goofy"
Your family had problems before you disgraced yourself like that OP, although I admit you lost any moral high ground to say very much about their divorce with such a scandal.
At that point a genuine apology for your behavior to your sister is necessary. An explicitly non-romantic gift and display of your regret and desire to move past this and fill the role of her brother which you were meant for would be a start. If you've already done, that, the ball is on her side of the court and you'll just have to let her figure it out while you maintain a respectful distance.
Also I like this idea if you could do that; it makes a good pretense to bring that respectful distance a bit closer.
...
So either your mom is a whore or your dad was fucking around. Sucks to be you.
Divorce is for degenerate quitters. That is your legacy.
Also they probably stayed together and miserable for years because of you. Top kek
You should have a three-way with TJ and get him to shove bananas up your asses while she jerks you off. Maybe the reason she's pissed is because you didn't let her finish the job.
OP's parents could be worse; having the decency to stay together and stay miserable with each other for the sake of the children, if only for a time, is indicative of at least some goodness and forethought in them.
It's not necessarily his legacy so much as his inheritance; OP could live a perfectly productive life and raise a proper family to carry on the name. Every family, nation, and people has it's dark chapters.
You're only 20, don't think you can solve evrything yourself.
Apologies for your sister:
> I'm so ashamed, I didn't know what to say to get your forgiveness.
Get your parents to garantee that it will be civil and no taking kids hostage to spite one another, etc.
And be there for your siblings when they want to vent.
That's the only wise move.
>Get your parents to garantee that it will be civil and no taking kids hostage to spite one another, etc.
They say they're taking this slowly. My dad is who initiated the divorce, while my mom who he finds troublesome for not invalid reasons, wants the marriage to continue.
My dad says he plans to sleep in the basement for the next year or so, and "no taking sides" has been preached by both of them.
Holy shit OP, you need to stop this fuck train before it leaves the station.
I'm shitting on the toilet at 3 am, and I can 'shit' out some quick statistics for you about how much this is going to fuck you and your younger siblings up without a Google search.
Basically you and your younger siblings have:
+50% greater likely hood of divorce
+50% greater likelihood of becoming single parents
+~40% likelihood of sexual activity before 18
Those are the big 3 that come off the top of my head. You need to tell your parents, in no uncertain terms, that they are being selfish fucks for divorcing after 20 years like this. Literally don't talk to them anymore unless they work it out and stop being selfish. You're 20, so you dodged the majority of the fun divorced child stats, but your 7 year old brother will literally be a fuckup unless his biological mother and father raise him. A quick Google search will give you some compelling stats to bring to your parents. Make this a no-compromise issue, you need to fight for your younger siblings. Everyone ITT is saying that 'you can step in and be a father figure for your siblings' no, that's not how it works. You dad NEEDS to be there to avoid a shitty dynamic for his kids. Even if your parents aren't happy, being in an unhappy marriage is statistically better than a happy divorce for the kids. Stand firm on this OP, don't let your family fall. You're on Sup Forums, you know what happens if they get divorced.
OP, I worked at a Family Law firm for 3 years. Put it this way... unless you are willing to spend at least $10,000 of your own money (or borrow it) knowing you'll probably still lose, I wouldn't bother.
The Family Law system is a nightmare. You'll be paying some bitch $440/hour to send letters back and forth. You won't get a court date for months, they'll make you go to mediation first. Even if you do make it to court you'll be up for $4k per day barristers fees. And you'll probably still lose unless you can prove the other kids are in danger of abuse.
My advice for your parents: DO NOT. DO NOT. DO NOT GO OUT AND IMMEDIATELY HIRE LAWYERS.
What you need to do is get them both in a room, get them to accept that it's over and start sorting out some kind of mutual agreement for dividing all their shit and the kids. Get an agreement drawn up that they both agree to, THEN go to a lawyer just to get it rubber stamped.
Hiring lawyers pretty much guarantees a giant fucking legal bill and a bunch of stress for all involved. You will all be miserable if they hire lawyers. Sounds like mum doesn't want to split up which sucks, but she'll end up turning bitter and hiring the most expensive lawyer in the city.
This is a great fucking idea. Better than trying to take the kids away, thats for sure.
You don't get it do you? The dad wants out. You can shit out whatever statistics you want. He's leaving. He wants to fuck other women. He's not spending the next 10 years sleeping next to someone he doesn't like any more just because there's x percent chance his kids will get screwed up and shack up with De'Shawn.
who takes care of the kids(young siblings)?
who ever gets the kids must not be some crackhead or whore-ish sister/brother
I hate to break this to you but if no one would take care of your younger siblings, your studies would stuffer, that is if you could be arsed enough to actually take care of them.
if not, prepare yourself for the future that is having gender fluid siblings because the divorce of your parents fucked them up inside.
Not if he cares about his kids.
And if he doesn't, then we've lost. Because this is happening millions of times a year and it's damaging the future generation.
Holy fuck, nigger. Research the statistics on how fucked your brothers will be and print them out. So you can make a solid case to your dad.
Build immediately trust, warmness and fellowship between siblings. Go all together to a trip( without parents) and blow steam off, tell to your siblings that you are still family. And talk about it, make fun of it without your parents.
>be op
>be a virgin faggot living a sheltered life
>still thinks kids are the most important thing in marriage
They aren't. Sex is, and you're a product of that. In a healthy, sexually-fulilling marriage, no man picks the kid over the wife.
Why should your dad give a shit about some frigid, mopey cunt for your sake? Are you sucking his cock? No? Then fuck right off.