Win the lottery, what's the first thing you do

Win the lottery, what's the first thing you do

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win more lotteries

...

Buy the lottery

lotteries exist to find time travelers

this guy fucks

Buy crack

cash in the ticket... duh

Two chicks at the same time

Give my parents a large sum of money.

write name on back of ticket

seriously?
you'd do two chicks at the same time?

Invest in property so I never run out. Idiots.

Secure the money, get it into a bank.
Those would be the 1st two things. You don't actually have any money yet if you're just standing there with the winning lotto.

Assuming you meant after I already have the money, leave my job, get my eye on the housing market, learn to invest, probably in realty.

Fuckin' A

office space ref

invite all my friends (like 8) and play my own little game with them to determine who gets how much money.
i will tell them "i won some money" and have them estimate the exact amount. whoever is closest to the actual number, receives 0,1% extra. but anyway, everyone gonna get some.
like this weekend its 34 in the jackpot. i would give everyone 1 million. and 340 000 extra to the winner.

eat

trap?

The same shit i still do but even more comfy.

mysteries are exciting

Pay off loans and invest.

If it's a lot I'd stop working and try to get my novels published

Straight to the titty bar

nice image guy

Call the lottery people to get my money.

Then after that figure out the best way to hide my name from the papers because every hard luck case/nigger/charity/scamming douchebag is going to be up my ass trying to get some of my money

buy drums

>lottery

I kind of did. I have over 2000 bitcoins

Funny thing is - nothing is different. I am married now and she does not even know. I mined these coins around 2009 because I was a pill addict at the time, and I was wanting to use bitcoin to buy shit on pirate bay - but I never got around to it, and I cleaned up my life.

Work a low level IT job now, and havent touched my bitcoin. I was thinking about surprising my wife with a stupid house or an actual lambo.

I dont know....

Donald Trump is proof time travelers don't exist.

Lots and lots of oxy. Then guns, then a cabin in the rockies.

this

Totally useless without a beard and overalls while screaming about 'revnuers

Break something

how do you plan to bypass IRS fucking you to hell and back after that?

Except for the degenerate drugs, are you me?

user do you understand how wealthy you are right now?

I have epic beard and 7 guns now.

As a 19 year old living in my mom's basement,
I'd look for a home with my fiance and purchase it. Investing isn't as urgent to me, but it'll probably come right after.

Quit my job and expose how badly they treat their employees and how they don't pay them right.

Don't live in the US.

Buy me a boat

Call the cheepest prostitute. Show her the money. Profit.

Dude you should file a class action suit there are people in Mexico right now getting money from employer mistreatment in the US. In the US you have a lot of legal faculties at your disposition.

oh, and you have to make a still. Mostly out of old car parts and have it drip into cork-plug jugs with 3 X's on it,

I'm still not sure if you'll legally be required to change your name to Jasper.

>tax doesn't exist outside of US
didn't answer my question fag

At current$14625.50US per Bitcoin X 2000 = $29,251,000US ,unless I got my maths incorrect.

That's $29.251 Million

>cheepest
birdfucker

Either get one $10,000 a night hooker or 1000 $100 a night hookers.

Walk around downtown and when a homeless man asks you for change, ask him for his bitcoin address.

>Win Lottery.... Open window... Piss on dog of neighbors in apartment below... Leave... Nothing of value was lost that day...

No, because I am a laboratory Technician that has worked in both pathology and mineral analysis AND I worked in a brewery for a year , I can tell you that using a radiator and other automotive copper piping would be toxic and most likely fatal if used as a still.

I'm from Australia, we put 4 X's on booze.

>Do you find many mineral samples in the dead these days?

Here in Australia you don't pay any tax on a lottery win, you only pay tax on the interest, so when you win $40 million,you receive $40 million.

i would buy a shitty housd or trailer, buy a girlfriend and basically do nothing my whole life

Beat me to it

Go into a life of complete and utter excess (drugs, women, food, pleasurable experiences) until I nearly die. Then, straighten out, stop fucking up and get on to doing something productive.

>Buy girlfriend...
I now see where you may be going wrong, Casanova.

how hard is it to get green card for australia?

plan out my first mini series.

Not tell anyone.

Bunch a hookers an cocaine

Buy house

It was two seperate jobs.
I first worked at a path lab sorting and spinning blood and dipping multi stix into urine.
Then I was crushing and digesting and burning ore suspended in aqua regia through an AAS.
Atomic Absorption Spectroanalysation machine.

If you have no criminal history, good English and any desirable employment related skills, pretty easy.

You buy wives, you fuck girlfriends.

>toxic and most likely fatal if used as a still.
I think that's kinda the point of being a loony backwaters hermit

Shit my pants and then pay somebody to clean them.

Yeah but I'm a somewhat educated gun nut with a taste for Jameson and living.

>how do you plan to bypass IRS fucking you to hell and back after that?
Why the actual fuck would you bypass the IRS. OP lost more money when the price tanked than he would have if he had simply paid the taxes on it.

>HURR I WANT TO COMMIT FELONY TAX EVASION

if you have 28,000,000 in bitcoins, fucking cash out and get an accountant.

Cash out OUTSIDE of the US, the IRS can't touch money that never existed in the US.

win the lottery

pharmaceutical technician?
should I try for masters degree or would technician status be enough

>inb4 how the fuck would I know
how the fuck would I know how the fuck would you know if I don't ask you

move out of my house... sleep, do drugs... find guns, browse this site

>be me
>southern slav trash
>as long as you don't get into news you can easily bypass paying tax for huge loads of money
>be you
>merican crap
>missed your taxes by 1 cent
>spread your asscheecks for the IRS

waste of money tbh, all politicians basicly spend it on cocaine and fancy prostitutes

>call lawyer
>call accountant
>claim money
>debate trading in family life for meaningless sex.

buy some fucking bubble gum, cuz I'm all out

1. buy a home base in my own country so that I could catch up with folks if I want to.
2. Buy a house in some nice, but not mainstream location. Italy, Spain and France are overrun by sandniggers, so I'd have to think about that for a moment.
3. go to Japan and buy all sorts of weird shit. Do all sorts of weird shit
4. Invest in real estate. Not big stuff, but lots of stuff, become one of the causes of the housing bubble, instead of being the suffering party.

Repeat steps 1 through 3, travel a lot. Write books. Buy weird and vintage cars, bikes, all sorts of junk that I'd enjoy. Not a single brand new golden bentley or some shit. Keep a low and weird profile.

Friends and family? I would give my parents lots of protips, as they have done in my life. Help out some friends that have helped me out, but never in cash.

Buy a shitload of weed and use a BBQ grillas a bong. Take some LSD, shrooms and other psychadelics, but steer clear of any addictive stuff like coke and opiates.

Pic related. Not because I think it is an awesome idea, but because I once promised.

Build a robot girlfriend.

With all the bells and whistles.

Get a divorce

Should be fine.

Buy more tickets

his dick is wearing the hat kek

Hello there, you must be new here
. As you may or may not have noticed your post ended in trips
>333
Enjoy your stay and Lurk moar

Pay off student loans, then take classes full time so I can pursue a Master's in OT.

After I got back from Europe. That'd probably be a solid 6 mo strictly between London and Berlin.

Lottery tickets are really selling the ability to fantasize.

Take a big poop.

find a prostitute who looks like my sister, buy her clothes same as my sister's clothes, live out my incest fantasy for a few months, beat her to death and hide the body in a septic tank somewhere

i applaud u

Hell yeah

Fuckin have a heart attack and die.

sideshowtoy.com/collectibles/marvel-doctor-doom-sideshow-collectibles-400086/

fake and gay

Invest it and live on the interest. Set for life.

$20,000 for student loans
everything else in a passive index fund
look at how close i am to retirement
if rich enough to retire, get a membership at the local makerspace and start building electrical cyberfunk music instruments
else, keep working

Buy 100 mill worth of bitcoin

Not tell anyone

Any time you win they take pictures and publicize it. You can't avoid not telling. It is also on public records.

depends on where you live

invest $10-20 million in US treasury bonds
Invest a small percentage into real estate (not fucking mansions on the beach, actual profitable real estate)
buy a mansion on the beach for self
makes thread where people beg for money and not deliver

Invest in stocks, get a house, then lure a bunch of elementary schoolers into said house using my copious amounts of money.

>>>HURR I WANT TO COMMIT FELONY TAX EVASION

>>if you have 28,000,000 in bitcoins, fucking cash out and get an accountant.

Good thing there are countries like:
Bahamas
Gibraltar
Bermuda
Hong Kong
and let's not forget: Panama
Cayman Islands

Sounds like a musician we all know with the initials MJ...

take a vacation with the money I have and think about what i'm going to do with the rest, i'd also request as much anonymity as possible according to state laws about me winning