Late Night Feel Thread

Late Night Feel Thread

Feel free to drop some tunes

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where everyone at? i could use a good feels thread tonight

Saturday night dude. Perfect time for a thread.

My life grows increasingly and increasingly meaningless. I started antidepressants and they took the edge off of me wanting to kill myself but overall the feeling is coming back. I constantly want to die and I just wish I could care enough to go through it.

I delved pretty deep into Philosophy and that helped me for awhile. While I'm still consumed with apathy I try to live for myself rather than others. I have thought of killing myself a couple times but I really couldn't find an actual reason to since if this is all there is then I should try to make the most of what I do have. I think a healthy balance of Epicureanism is the way to go.

That's not to say I don't care about others because some of my favorite things involve making people laugh.

I still do live for myself and always have but at this point I see life as a long road that really has no pleasure along it. I'm pretty much just waiting to die and I wish I could get it over with.

I can understand that. I've had some serious points in my life where I can't understand why people would want to live past 40 when so far my only experiences have been ones filled with such a drama and the same things. Almost as if life is just a constant swirl of bullshit expect nothing ever really changes.

I actually get excited to think about what could happen when we die.

I moved to the Netherlands to be with my boyfriend instead of just seeing him when we could visit. We've been dating two years. I'm currently trying to get into college over here. He droped it off school, and won't get a job. I can't legally work here, but still do whenever I get the chance. I'm also selling nude pictures of myself so I can afford to support us. I wish I could break up with him and go back to the USA but I can't buy a ticket for the foreseeable future. I'm honestly thinking about becoming a prostitute so I can afford to go home

Sounds rough. Why won't he get a job?
Don't you have some family you could possibly get money for a ticket home from?

My family disowned me because I used to be a drug addict, and I'm a trap. Clean now, but still queer. He wont try at all, I don't know why, I spent 8 months being gentle and helping him apply and working on his resume for him, and he maybe applies to three jobs a month, and won't follow up on any of them. I don't even know if he gets replies, he gets so upset when I ask.

I can't really give any advice on the subject. I've been surrounded by dysfunctional relationships my entire life. Probably played a pretty good part in how fucked up I am now.

Like I said, my advice is pretty shit but you should try to figure out what you're going to do. Whether it's how you're going to get the money, what you're gonna do once you come back to the U.S., or if you're actually gonna leave.

Could try to become a house cleaner

I have been trying to get any job in my local area, but have yet to get hired. Im facing eviction and because I don't have a car I cant expand my search radius because of it. So now im stuck trying to focus on making art, but even that is fucking up for me and im lost.

I'll look into that, cleaning people's houses would be nicer than cleaning their whistles lol

How are you these days user

When Cringelords meets Edgelord.

That gave me a laugh.

Nothing much. Everything is so boring, especially where I live. Other than the drug dealers and shit killing each other then the only thing to do in a town of a couple thousand is to do drugs.

For now, in this moment I listen to music just to get me by in life.

fucked up a 6 year long relationship, moved to a hell hole bc of finances, likely can't even stay with my company after the holidays bc they have much lower traffic than my old town, fell out of touch with a good friend who humiliated me during a huge fight, my dog probably has cancer, should be applying for med school but setbacks have fucked me so hard i dont even have my aa, suicidal intrusive thoughts are taking over me, likely wont be in a relationship again because of my antisocial tendencies, ugliness and self loathing, i just want to be stable and working towards a good future..

youtube.com/watch?v=Z9e7K6Hx_rY heres a feel good song as my thanks for letting me vent here.

I can't say that everything will be all right b/ros. but I hope you find all the happiness you can, whatever that may mean to you.

I can feel that. Had an embezzlement charge so finding job with a felony as well is damn hard.

Music keeps me going too... Been listening to some Wu-tang recently lol, I'd never listened to any of their albums before this month.

oh yeah and i had my identity stolen and have no money in the bank because my claim has been processing for a whole week. 2017 has womped my ass and i cant wait for it to be over.

I've heard of them before, but never listened. Listening to music and avoiding bullshit are some of the best rules I've learned to follow

That sucks. I know a guy who had his daughter run away, his calf die on him, and now he's in the hospital after some guy fresh out of prison took a bat to him

I don't even have much that is terrible about my record, and the issue I have is that im running out of time. I can do commissions to help out, but with 650$ in rent at the end of next month I won't make it. I have already done Backpage work, but doing straight only means that is few and far between. I feel like i am out of options at this point, and even though id love to work at a stable job, i cant find one.

christ that's so shitty.. i hope he and his daughter are safe. what a fuckin lunatic.

Yeah. He's a damn good guy.

After recovering from a snap in my psyche that resulted in an extreme anhedonic depression, I can assure you all everything will be just fine. This life is overflowing with abundance and perfection.

To complain about my bf a little more, he spent my money buying me a Christmas gift that I didn't want. He got me a gift card to a gacha game I play, that I play specifically because it's free. I wish he hadn't gotten me anything. My new years is gonna be spent watching other people light fireworks and smoke weed while I try and work out what food I'm gonna make for the next week.