Why do girls always choose the nice guys last, Sup Forums? Please hear me out if you have the time

Why do girls always choose the nice guys last, Sup Forums? Please hear me out if you have the time...

I've been in love with this girl for a year and I was always there for her, every time she needed help and every time she was hurt and crying I was there to hold her, but she never chose to be with me... We kinda had a sort of a flirty relationship at the beginning and we did kiss and have sex once, but a lot of times she would say I'm too good and nice for her.. She slowly stopped talking to me and started dating fuck boys like the dude in this pic.

They just use her... but she doesn't see that. Last time she told me to go away and stop talking to her.. I would hear shit from the fuckbois mutual friends that he always go on about fucking her and it just kills me inside.. now I'm not the most handsome model in the world, I am a shortfag (about her height) but I workout and have great bod, have a decent face and I've been told by her and many other girls that I'm so nice and would be a great bf/partner, but I always end up being hurt and alone.

What do I do, Sup Forums? She's spending a week with this guy over states and all I can picture is them kissing and making love the whole week. I'm thinking of ending it all bros. I'm always that nice guy that ends up being alone and unloved.. I'm so sick and tired of it.

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You never eat your desert first. Enjoy the fatties.

You have a small dick. Get a hobby and stop being so fucking dramatic.

Be upfront with her. Just tell her everything, you have nothing to lose. Either she'll feel the same way, or she won't and you can move on. That's life.
Don't just start blabbering though, be prepared and know what your going to say before you speak to her.

>I'm thinking of ending it all bros
oh fuck off. Get over yourself. It's just a girl, a girl who doesn't like you. Take the fucking hint already and move on.

It annoys the shit out of me when I see people who have no real problems whining about the most inconsequential shit like this.

OP is a fag

>Why do girls always choose the nice guys last,
Because they can. They know they can get plowed by Chad and Tyrone and when they're ready to settle down "nice guys" like you will be there waiting for them

girls dont like guys that chase them. when they call you a nice guy what they really mean is needy. not trying to shit on you, ive been there too. take the pain and learn from this. girls like guys that dont give a fuck.

Act like a cunt it'll make her act on her hypergamy and it will make u seem like a better mate

Stop talking to her in a romantic way.

Stop talking to her so much (I bet you send fucking essay long texts with 586 emojis)

Keep your contact short and to the point

Still try to be funny and uplifting

Just relax and if it's not meant to be, guess what?

If you're normally nice to everyone, they won't feel like you're treating them special by being nice. If you're normally an ass, but nice to them, they think they're being treated special.

I already told her but she said that she doesn't want me out of her life and that she's sorry.. it doesn't change the fact that I'm hurting and alone while she's out there fucking some guy.

Tbh idk how long it will last they've only been dating for a couple months.

When I DO try to ignore her it's hard because she still talks to me quite a lot and asks how I am and shit.. I just don't know what to do man it hurts like hell.

Can't do that to her.. I like her too much.

hmm. So no more heart emojis that I still send her? lol.

Can confirm. Was seeing a girl for about a month (up until last week). At first I was taking ages to reply, keeping it dead cool etc and she was super in to me. Fast forward a few weeks when I start to get feelings (we'd had sex a couple times by this point) I noticed I started to show signs of clingyness like texting her a lot and wanting to see her more.

Suffice to say she called it off shortly after with the classic "I think we're better off as friends"

Funny how a week before that she said "if you want me I'm yours"

Sorry for the vent but fuck girls man.

The problem is you've been there for her whenever you could but you're expecting something equal in return - which you're not entitled to

Yes, no more heart emojis. Fucking chill dude, only a very few number of girls like the clingyness, she clearly isn't one of them.

Amen

Because you're autistic and she doesn't want your autism.

Holy shot bro. Dude stop. She has you hooked, keeps you around talks to you when she's bored, but that's it. You have to grow up and just stop talking to her. Be monosymbollic when she ask you how you are and stuff. Act like you've moved on.
How old are you?

youtu.be/Vl4wcLx2_LY

yeah idk man ive never been the shoulder to cry on. i mean if someone close to her dies or some shit thats one thing, but if shes just pouting and sobbing over dumb crap i would just say i dont have time for this shit lol. she might say fuck you and get angry but at least you walk out of that room like a man, and you will be respected more. also dont apologize for shit in general, especially when shes angry at you.

Why are girls like this though?

And when they're in their 30's+ and still alone they start realising shit and they start changing and stop going for fuck boys or handsome chads.. like wtf ?

I'm 24 and she's 20. But how do I act like I moved on when I haven't and still love her? and if I do she would probably just forget me and go cuddle up with her bf.. ugh.

That's the thing.. almost everytime she gets mad at me I keep saying I'm so sorry over and over. I don't want her angry at me.

Idk man but it's fucking annoying. I think it's just a classic case of they don't know what they want or the grass is always greener.

Like if you show affection n stuff they'll think you're not alpha enough and too soft

If you assert authority and just be blasé then you're too cold and "not caring" enough

Like you say 30+ is when they start to know what they want. Let's just go for the milfs

stop wasting your tiem on a thot.
idiot..

I had the same shit. It is cancer, and what you do with cancer is cutting it off. So burn all bridges, and don´t be dramatic about it.

Stop apologising man, as difficult as it might be you have to appear blase about it.

The damage may have already been done tho so keep that in mind.

The best advice I would give from this point on is:

Keep contact with her to a minimal

Start talking to other girls (tinder or whatever)

Learn from your mistakes

So you're saying completely cut her off? Even despite the fact that I love her with all my heart and it'll fucking kill me?

Yes.

You've never loved a girl then I take it, because that's practically fucking impossible.

Ignore this cunts advice

Be a bit of an asshole yourself. Sometimes, if you have to decide between 'stick back for the harmony' or 'fuck it, this was her fault and she needs to be told' better choose #2. Works like a charm, for a start.

why do you love her though? she seems like a bitch

Nice guys have to bring it in the bedroom otherwise prepare to lose to a more interesting, captivating guy. Stop giving a fuck and you'll do better all around.

She gets angry sometimes but she will always like talk to me all happy like normal and when we were kinda together it was the best of time my life we were so close and she really did care about me.. or so I thought. It's not like I can just stop suddenly liking her if I could that would be great but I can't..

Same user here, I´m gonna elaborate for you because you don´t seem to get it. I had pretty much the same situation more than a year and a half ago, I can tell you it took me about 7 months to actually burn the bridges and stop talking to her. No likes on facebook, no whatsapp, no e-mails, no texts no NOTHING. And after that I was still an emotional wreck for the best part of another year. A couple weeks back I saw her with her new boyfriend with whom she had moved to another city. I said hi, not another single word.

It is probably the worst fucking feeling, but after time it starts fading. What is important is not that it fades, it is that it becomes the catalyst for you to change. Pain is what remakes you, I don't know if it is the only way, but it is a way to make a meaningful change on your personality.

In the past few months I've had several women who didn't see me for while comment on how I had changed. "More manly" they said, and this is actually true. I dress differently, I judge people differently and I do different things, such as physical training, which is also a cornerstone of getting over a girl.

You sir are actually retarded. Let him dwell on his pain until he realises it then.

I'm saying you can't just cut all ties and forget them at a drop of a hat.

Be realistic.

>caring about a girl who doesnt care for you

Why, just why? Its not gonna happen so move on?

Pussy

>Tbh idk how long it will last they've only been dating for a couple months
Thus proving to the user you're replying to that yes, you will be waiting for her, like a good little beta orbiter. Listen, I'll make this simple. You cannot change what actions other people take. You can only change your own actions. Translation: you'll never convince her to go for the nice guy. You have to stop being the nice guy and start being the asshole

As I've said, it took me 7 months, and I should have done it earlier. The fucked up thing is that if you love a girl she has the ability to dull your fangs as soon as you talk to her. I would spend the week re-living conversations with her, thinking up new ways to try and make her understand what I felt, running through the same shit over and over, and when I wanted to tell her how awful I felt the pain was just gone.

Only after a couple days it would come back, back into the cycle again. You do NOT want to be caught up on that. Sure, maybe just talking to her eliminates the pain, but it is just a drug, you need to get it out of your system.

You're a little faggot. You think you need some whore who's going to ditch you when she doesn't need you anymore to be happy? That shit's pathetic, man. You don't need a whore to be happy.

stop being faggot, she doesn't like you. move on and better yourself.

I've been in your situation..
What you need to do is stop talking to her.
Sure, it will hurt to do so, ans hou'll probably miss her a lot, ut that feeling will fade.

Ask yourself this: Would you rather; hurt for a few weeks now or; Hurt for as long as you talk to her and then for a few more weeks after you realize I was right and decide to cut this emotional vampire out of your life?

dude it is not about choosing, she is either attracted to you or not, all this "being there for you" shit is great, it makes you a good friend, but if you are just doing it to get in her pants you are both wasting your time and not being a nice guy, you are pretending to be nice to get sex or affection. I am a nice guy, sometimes people are attracted to me and they want to sleep with me because i am their type, then they want to stay with me because i am also nice. other times i am attracted to someone and they are not attracted to me, but idgaf because: 1. I don't need anyone other than myself to validate my worthiness, and 2. i am actually fucking nice and therefore capable of letting my cock take a backseat to actual friendships and connections with people, i am there for them whether i want to fuck them or not, because that is what being nice is.

but she talks to me too.. she starts the convos a lot and I don't want to just ignore her when she texts or messages me.

Stop wasting your time with bitches who obviously don't give a fuck about you and get out there and find a girl that's proper. This one you're describing is gutter trash

She doesn't like you, she doesn't care about you, she won't be with you. Stop being a beta orbiter and move on. Stop talking to her altogether. I know this is easier said than done, but it's the only reasonable thing you can do. The pain will fade away after a while and you will be happier and smarter in the end.

Fair enough I actually relate to this pretty fucking hard. I'm just going through something similar right now so I get it bro

Then stop replying.
I know it's hard, I've gone through this myself, but it's for the best.
You don't need shit like this holding you down; If you want her as a partner you have no business keeping her around as a friend.
If, eventually, she confronts you about your lack of response just tell her what's up, that she can either have you in her life as a lover or not at all.

Nobody wants to, get on with it. Actually, save this thread and read it after a few months of blocking her, you will probably realise how pathetic you sound.

I am not judging you, I fully understand it,but you have to go through it. No abusing alcohol, no drugs, no destructive habits. This is the stuff that drives people to jump off bridges. You get through it, and you will become stronger, and chances are you will find another, better, girl eventually.

You might think "well, this user doesn´t really understand, I don´t know who the fuck he is and maybe his emotional pit was just shallower than mine". Bullshit, I understand, I know just how it feels.

Tell you a more gruesome detail, when I saw "my" former love after ignoring her for a year, she didn't even know I had moved to another country, she had been ignoring me in exactly the same way, and what I felt was not the usual pain, it was more disgust, which is a hell of a lot easier to bear.

Define 'nice guy'. My women loves me because I'm dominant but fair, protective and nurturing of her ambitions and growth but at the same time I can be selfish. I don't think it's about being an asshole or a clingy fucking man child. It's about balance. I'm not perfect, I'm a bit of a cunt. But I can only assume a woman wants a man that can provide, protect and satisfy. Other wise what the fuck is she doing?

I don't have an answer for you OP other than, maybe you're the problem. Work on that first.

Oh god, hearing that she is 20 is painful.

She doesn't know what she wants so most likely she's keeping you around if "others" don't work out.

The younger they are, the more you are at risk getting screwed over since they are still dip shits not knowing what they actually want.

Get a hobby as someone mentioned. When a female that's interested in you and see's that are you committed to whatever you are on, they'll see that as a turn on but only if you know how to pursue it to a point where you can support each other.

Females will get bored if you cling to them, they'll start to think you weren't worth pursuing and hence that's how you get fucked over.

Also I don't get the deal with relationships at so young of an age, go achieve something and go fuck around. You're gonna die like the rest of us, so make it interesting.

How's it going OP?
Are you talking to her now?

if Sup Forums really giving decent advice?

No I'm just lurking... she's probably busy fucking that guy while they're on holidays together..

Idk man.. imma try to slowly stop contact with me.. It's hard as fuck considering we even bought each other gifts for Christmas

It has nothing to do with being nice. It has everything to do with you being boring, having the body of a potato, and having none of the comforts and qualities she wants in a mate.

"Being there for her" and making her laugh and shit is what friends do, and now you're a friend or worse.

She's looking for somebody who is going to make her cum and do so confidently. What have you ever done to communicate that message to her? She's looking for somebody who is going to take the kinds of risks and have the kind of potential to eventually give her the life she's looking for. What risks do you take, and what have you ever achieved?

Stop acting like a loser and you'll stop being a loser in her eyes.

Almost literally the same thing as with me, was getting into a girl, I'm talking about daily texting where mainly I initiated. She dropped the "lets be friends" line, so I stopped giving her heat. 2 weeks later and she's been wanting to talk to me, and then went on to basically always text me by herself for like 2 weeks or so.

Don't worry, 6 weeks and you'll forget all your current emotions. 6 months, you'll find her disgusting.

what did you do after that?

a. You're not as nice as you think you are.
b. They're not as Chad-y as you think they are.
c. You're ugly.
d. All of the above

Hint: it's d.

this is the dumbest thread. Grow some balls act like a man and realize you dont get everything you want. Your in your 20s and crying about a girl who doesnt like you and is probley trying to let you off easy cause she knows you are crazy about her. Stop worrying about what she is doing and with whom and go out clubbing/bars or download tinder for christs sake you would be amazed about how diffrent you will feel after meeting new chicks

OP here. Going to sleep, to the non-trolls, thanks for the advice I will try to slowly separate myself and not contact her.

You're an orbiter.

A basic, boring, clingy orbiter. Why the fuck would she date you when you're already giving her the boyfriend treatment? She can get the doting beta experience from you and the chad hard dicking she craves from him.

I won't speak of my experience since nobody would believe me anyway, but my method has never failed. Here are a few relevant steps:

>discover girl who you want to give a dicking
>find out what she likes (use logic. don't ask anyone. don't stalk. etc)
>become friends with her friends
>become her friend
>never hit on any them
>never go into detail about yourself.
("I like writing." is fine "I'm writing a story about x and y and z but then the pirates show up and-" is NOT.)
>be dependable, but NEVER be a pushover
(don't buy them shit. don't act like a boyfriend. don't dote. etc)\

My last GF took two months of prep, but we ended up living together for roughly 16 months before I broke it off.

The sad truth is most girls only SAY they want the nice guy thing. Most of the gravitate towards the dbags, the guys who will hurt them and they get to be the victim.

You can lead a horse to water, but cant make it drink man. The situation can be reversed too. Maybe theres some girl who isnt your optimal match who is in love with you/listens to you and you're doing hte same thing going for this girl. Who knows.

The sad truth is this:

Forgot to add that I even called her on a fucking date, which she accepted and went to grab a bite. Like 2 weeks later after that I got denied.

As for what I did, I kept talking to her. I didn't write to her by myself at once, it was always her, I wanted to see if she's just being niceu niceu or actually cares. After a while I did start a convo like a few times. She invited me over to her friend's house to spend the new year's eve there and I've been getting some positive signs ever since she started initiating (like since 3-4 weeks ago) so potentially we may have switched sides and now its her that's into me, but that's not assured at all, but likely.

You don't love the girl user, you just think you do

You treat her like a godess... She is just a human being. Treat her as normal as you can and just keep her that way.. after a while being ignored she will heat up and she will be yours :)

user. Just ignore her and move on my dude

dude youre just an option to her now. she sounds like a total cunt and you need to move the fuck on

She's using you as the emotional guy who will listen to her, comfort her, and reaffirm her beliefs and actions, no matter how messed up. You act as her confidence boost. You are the "like" on a Facebook status. You are her instant emotional gratification whenever she needs it.

You need to stop giving her what she WANTS and instead what she NEEDS - which is a man with strong convictions who is brave enough to challenge her and call her out on her bullshit. Somebody who seemingly has their life in order. Somebody who is dominating. Women are used to getting attention so what really throws them is somebody who doesn't give a fuck. I've had girls suddenly become interested in me purely because I don't show interest in them and sometimes outright tell them that - all of a sudden, it's a challenge for them. In their mind, if they succeed then it's a massive confidence boost for them.

You're single. Go out there. Try different approaches. Observe. You'll learn a surprising amount.

for the almighty fucking god's sake! man up, you little faggot!

i swear to god, i'm starting to get sick just by seeing your bitchy sobbing about some random thot.

treat yourself and take my advice:
1. go to a party
2. get as drunk as you can
3. find a drunk girl
4. fuck her in the bathroom
5. never meet her again
6. repeat until you grow some testicles
7. find some bae-material hoe
8. by the power of your testicles, tame that bitch and date her

your fucking welcome, you miserable piece of human garbage

this guy is speaking the truth

Stop being a pussy and go fuck someone else you fuckin beta

I am just severely fucking depressed and just want to kill myself at this point.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I too have the depressions lol and am really sad. Whats your favourite linkin park song?

This is the best advice, no matter how much you love her - abandon ship faggot. She just wants you as a friend, not a lover. She has no other friends. That's it. If you can keep her as a friend, great. If not, fuck it and move on faggot.

How do I know? I am fucking living that right now.

I don't listen to LP because I am not gay. Lol they had one in Medal of honor warfighter, that was nice to listen to.

HEY OP
KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HER

FOCUS ON IMPROVE YOURSELF
BECOME COOLER >GET MORE MONEY
BECOME A SOUNDCLOUD RAPPER
SNAPCHAT HER COOL SHIT U DOIN WITH UR LIFE

THE ONLY WAY TO GET A GIRL THAT HAS PUT HERSELF OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE IS TO MAKE YOURSELF BETTER

USE YOUR LOVE FOR THIS GIRL TO MAKE YOURSELF BETTER AND IF IT DONT WORK WELL AT LEAST IT WAS PRODUCTIVE

You say you're depressed but don't listen to linkin park? Stop being an attention whore.

Please be patient, I have autism.

Nice trips man, I am sorry I said that about LP. Anyway, I really wish for things to get better for you.

...

Here's the thing: From one nice guy to another, she's not interested.

I am a "Good Guy" many might say, but being a truly autistic person I tend to not think so much with my dick...It kind of just causes problems for others and quite frankly, I am not interested in half of the air heads that I meet. But I am in a stable relationship where we're both nerds and we can hold a civil conversation. We don't really ever argue, we debate and shrug it off when there is a disagreement. Funny enough, she doesn't even try to pull underhanded emotional manipulation. Do you want to know how I am in this rather beautiful relationship?

Quit. Chasing. Shit. Down.

I am serious, and it is probably what 90% of people here will tell you "Doesn't work" but just one and done. If you know them, like them for who they are, and have been friends for a long time just say how you feel. If she doesn't feel that way, accept it. It may not be like that today or tomorrow, but then again neither will your feelings in some cases. And eventually, it may click for you and them.

"Nice Guys" just take it from me: Learn to be happy with yourself and thrive with who you are...Or better yourself so that you can be happy and thrive with what you become.

As for your Suicide bit: Shut the fuck up. You are a healthy male who can probably live for a much longer time! When you have a terminal illness with zero chance of survival, then I can understand the debate if you want it all to end or you to suffer. But if you are contemplating killing yourself OVER THIS then you are not just stupid, you are stupid on an entirely other level.

Also, is everyone else having a pleasant morning/evening? I hope so.

If she's doing that to you then she has severe self image issues and she thinks that she deserves the abuse no matter what. You being the nice guy is her only reprieve from her shit and she's just using you. Don't treat her like shit but next time she's doing that shit put your foot down and tell her how it feels for you. Make her see that you're an escape from the cycle of abuse. You can break the beta cycle.

Don't wait for her OP, you have to trust me on this. You will always be hoping for something that will never happen, year after year, unless you completely block her out right now. The pain of living like that every year is not worth it. She will not understand you the way you want her to.

You will lose valuable time in your youth that you will never regain, spent uselessly in a depressing state of mind while constantly going to Hell and back from all the overthinking involved. I have an anxiety disorder thanks to a failed relationship, and I didn't take the time to manage the pain. If you don't take control and manage the situation now you will die bitter and alone.

I am not having a pleasant evening but I an glad you are)

If you put her on a pedestral, she has no other option than to look down on you.

She is not interested in "investing" anything in you because 1. she get's all your craving beta attention for free. 2 your Social Market Value is far to low 3 you are a whiny bitch, eho wants to throw his life away because some skank is not giving him attention.

Life is what you'll make out of it - Do something with your life and you'll laugh about this in a few years

Having a pleasant evening. Thank you good Sir.

Literally just grow a sack or kys, poon-baby.

OH NO, NOT GIFTS! NOW YOU ARE BOUND BY THE SOUL FOR ALL ETERNITY

Ugh. The cringe, sucks to say that i have been on the same situation.

because a girl normally has to trade sex and relationship for a guy to be her emotional tampon. However, you were her emotional tampon for free. Why would she want you when she gets everything for free? If you werent there and told her to get over it then she would have been more interested in you.

You fucked up. Never give something out for free.

Refer to the other post I have pinned and you will probably improve.

The sad thing is that these "nice guy" anons will not listen to any of the advice here and will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again until they somehow get into a relationship and then finally learn about girls.