Just found the world's deadliest spider (syd. funnel web) in my bed

just found the world's deadliest spider (syd. funnel web) in my bed.

AMA

Other urls found in this thread:

australianmuseum.net.au/funnel-web-spiders-group
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

where do you live?
did she bite you?
how many hours left?

Did it burrow unto your matress or something? Fuck.

sydney
no
heaps

crawled up the sheet on an airbed. gave my bed to my sis whos visiting. heard this scratching noise against the plastic

Seriously, what do you do to prevent that? Or is it normal to happened?

I'm from central europe, most dangerous thing here would be wasp... Never understood how you can live in place where pretty much everything can kill you.

Are you at least scared all the time?

also, its a male - 6 times more lethal than a female. i feel so fucking lucky

I've had this happen before when i was a kid. you don't really think about it tbh. your told as kids to check your shoes before putting them on, but after a while you get complacent. nobody has died since antivenom came out

Punch it to death

>(syd. funnel web)
>wiki
>behavior
>In some exceptions, which lack trip-lines but may have trapdoors, the silk entrance tube may be split into two openings
>trapdoors
>mfw

How old is your sis, and can I fuck her aussie brains out with my thick american dick?

Hope those fuckers don't go south, tell em to fuck off

no

...

they are limited in range to about 100km of sydney

user, you hosted an AMA, but you didn't answer my first question. How old is your sister?

Sexy

Where in Sydney!? I’m out south west near Camden. Hope there aren’t any of those fuckers out this way!

She's too old for your pussy faggot ass Ameri-mutt needle dick

do you come from a land down under?

northern beaches

yeah mate

Are you naked?

Fuck spiders man I freak the fuck out with common house spiders here in the uk.
Is it true that these fucks hide in toilet rims and seats and bite your balls and ass?
Truly terrifying, I mean to have fear to even take a shit.

no

Did you try to fuck it?

red backs will if using an outhouse

Sup Forums the only place where spider rape is acceptable

its a male funnel web, so no. i may consider it if a female wandered into my bed

the brazilian wandering spider is more dangerous.. now u know kimusabi

It's fucked up, are redbacks leathal?
Also kill that spider user it's the only option.

I've seen little cunts like that in Adelaide. Aren't they a national thing now?

They can even hide underwater for up to two days, due to having aqualungs, my grandfather worked in pest control up there back in the day, and apparently it's not unheard of for them to hide in childrens' pools

Had one crawl up my leg in the shitter

their venom contains neurotoxin and they can kill, but they are less lethal than a funnel web. if a red back bit me i wouldn't be too worried

You guys are due for a baby boom if thats the case then right?

I think you should put it on your knob.

I heard they have aqualungs 2.0 and have moderately powerful cloaking abilities.

sadly yes, but the reasons for that belong on Sup Forums

I'm sure you know that sydney funnel web spiders are super fucking aggro, most spiders would try to run from you, but this thing tends to rush you and bites over and over again

>Not establishing dominance by crushing some sweet sweet spider-ass

I'd be a nervous wreck if I lived in Australia
Pls no

Some dude had spiders as pets, red back, got bitten, thought he'd be alright...nope ded, broke other shit when he fell and other of his spiders were found eating him

australianmuseum.net.au/funnel-web-spiders-group

Scroll to bottom of page

yep, nothing says an aussie summer like these aggressive little fuckers running around

Makes me glad I live in WA, the "safe" part of Australia

...

black metal

...

it doesn't have to be rape, you know...

Oh no, his inner Aussie shitpost is coming out

>Heaps
Confirmed ausfag

Red backs are more aggressive but I honestly wouldn't want to find one of these cunts in my bed. My missus is arachnophobic for one.

Ever see one doing this, leave. It means fuck off in spider.

Can't remember if this dude also had reptiles or not, I think he did. Took a while for cops to show up, smelt bad..

So he didn't become spiderman?

post more pictures

Yes you are right my narrow mindness has shown again.

Reddit is down the hall to the left.

remove its fangs and let it try to bite you then laught at it and take a big smelly poopoo on it

OP, do this and post pics

Red backs > funnel webs

Yeah, nah m8.
Spiders don't eat carrion. Someone's told you a fib.

These fucking cunts

Was trying to find a report for it but found this, lmao
express.co.uk/news/nature/715320/Man-bitten-penis-deadly-redback-spider-for-second-time/amp

Is that a black widow there?

See this why Australia was once a penal colony.

Hey I think it could of been his reptiles that were chewing on him, don't think he had been decaying a shit tonne

The thread is about funnel webs

Cum on the spider

>penal

On the topic of redbacks, here's a photo of where one got a brown snake

For fucks sake smash the cunt OP and film it

Nope. Black Widows and Red Backs have their similarities, but Black Widows are mainly a species specific to the American continents. Red Backs are their Australian counterparts.

Geez Louise, Red Backs ain't fucking around. Thank goodness the Black Widows of the Americas are pansies in comparison.

>arachnophobic
>lives in Australia

Surprised she hasn't killed herself or gone crazy

Burger

Rate my house spider too!

Lmao, same with my gf, shit scared

Holy fuck.....

>trapdoors
>trap
Triggered

>spiderniggers

We had one of these beauties with its web built between our fence and tree, pretty harmless though besides the heart attack you get at night when walking and you feel your face hit the web and panic knowing this cunt is bellowing down on you.

Bullshit

More pics, make spider bro a wizard hat and try to put it on

>>op dies trying, cops find your post n this one
and blame Sup Forums again

Can't you hear the thunder?

Milk the spider and store the poison in your freezer

Read the whole thing. Remind me to just never go outside ever again

Suck its legs

Not only are these trap door spiders venomous as fuck, but they look nightmarish . Fucken never going to Australia

how do you know its a dude?

what the fuck is that

>australianmuseum.net.au/funnel-web-spiders-group

thats a big nope to visiting aus ever

Golden Orb-Weaver spider eating a bird.

Fucking hate these little shits, had one in my room a few weeks ago and the only thing close enough to kill it was a pringles tin. cut the fucker in half with the bottom of the tin but it didn't die and the front half tried crawling away until I steam rolled it with the tin

I was so scared this would be a gif

Get the fucking flamethrower mate

Well..uh.. if y-you know if aussie dicks are so big why dont you just uh.. post a pic and prove it? I'm not gay okay