Alright so some shit just went down and I'm arguing with my family and this lawyer

Alright so some shit just went down and I'm arguing with my family and this lawyer.

So here's what happened:
>be me, 6'4", tall well built, 22
>I'm chilling out at the grocery store
>buying food after work for the week
>some clumsy chick dropped something on the floor
>as she bends over to pick it up I check her out like any normal male
>thick and short, easily 8+/10
>as she picks it up the clutz drops something else
>I see an opportunity so I walk up to her and ask if she needs some help as I smile and pick it up.
>she smiles and says thank you
>her face is a smooth 7/10
>I chat with her a little bit
>turns out she goes to school in the area and lives in the area
>tell her we should hang out some time and we exchange numbers
--a day later--
>hit her up after work
>We meet up at a local park in her neighborhood
>We laugh and joke around a bit
>some of the kids in the area say seem to know her
>think it's odd but think she's just good with kids or a local babysitter
>"hey user, my parents aren't home. They went out for my mom's birthday. So maybe we could watch a movie or something."
>I tell her "Netflix?" with a grin on my face
>She smiles and giggles a little then says yeah
--fast forward a little bit--
>we're watching twilight (I'm trying my hardest not to leave at this point.)
>She notices I'm a little bored
>"user, there's something in my room I want to show you."
>finally shitty movie is about to pay off
>"c'mon it'll be fun"
>her room has dolls in it and it's oddly 'childish'
>I'm talking diary, wallpapers of twilight characters, ECT.
>Spidey senses tingling
>I ask her isnt she too old for all this stuff as I laugh to bait her real age
>She laughs as well looking embarrassed
>"Im 18 you little jerk."
>she points to her drivers license card on her dresser
>shrug, Ive seen stranger
>tease her about it a little more
>we play around on her bed and end up fucking
>shortly after we finish she makes me leave before her parents arrive

---next week---
>get a call from random number
>"boy you are fucked!, this is femanon's dad and I am going to fucking kill you"
>play dumb
>"don't fuck with me boy I saw all of your messages, she told me what you did!! You think it's okay to fuck kids? I'm gonna fuck you up!"
>claims I raped his daughter and that she's underage
>know he's bullshitting since I saw her license
>hang up in his face
>call girl and find out what the fuck is going on
>"I-im sorry user"
>turns out her parents were suspicious and took her phone so she squeaked
>not only that but her license was a fake she got from her uncle
>turns out she's 11
>at this point it dawned on me how bad I fucked up
>her dad filed a case against me
>family finds out
>dad knows a lawyer
>They tell me their disgusted in me and that my only option is to plead guilty for a shorter sentance.
>try to tell them it was setup
>"No excuse!"

Fuck me, how the hell was I supposed to know she was lying? Dont get me wrong sge was short, but im tall as shit. Everyone is short to me, and she was tall for her age. Not to mention the fact that she had an ID, like how am I supposed to know it was a fake. Shit looked real, why would she even have a fake one?

My penis has gotten me in some deep shit, isn't there some kind of law to protect me?

Depends on the state. If the lawyer says that you're fucked you probably are though

How the fuck didn’t you know you fucked an 11 yr old? Pretty fucking easy to tell. 11 and 18 is a huge difference. Enjoy prison predator.

None of that shit happened.

>11

Lol okay buddy.

1/10 cause I replied

first, how the fuck do you mistake an 11 year old with an 18 year old? i mean, this is how an 11 year old looks like (pic related). I'd understand if she was 15 or so, but 11?

Second, if she was 15 and showed you a fake id and she looks 18, the judge might be a bit lenient, but don't expect much, you're fucked either way

finally, make the case about you not forcing yourself on her, use the twilight movie being played in full as a proof that you went there with "noble intentions" and "one thing led to another"

Don't you ever fucking plead guilty you jack ass.

What they have is negligible at best

Don't fucking admit SHIT


Get your own fucking lawyer.
And get your legal advice from him

Why would you trust b with this?

Go back to clown college


Do not let your parents handle this shit .

It will go fucking south

Lawyer up now nigga don't you ever watch law and order???

8/10 body
7/10 face
>11 years old

get glasses in prison bro...
unless you can find the fake ID and make her come clean about it all then you're fucked.

granted this story even happened

...

>reddit spacing phone poster turns out to be a literal retard who believes everything he reads
What a surprise.

So, she didn't bleed?
Also, pussy hair?
Tits?

I mean, my gf has some tiny pointy tits too, but she's 40.

Nice job writing this essay and then giving it away how fake it is with "she's 11"

or is she? might be 11yo, lawyer up nigga

I don't believe your post

What now faggot?

She pointed to her license on the dresser? Fake a fuck guys dont be this dumb and baited.

Oh come on, I worked with her for two years, I've seen photos of her from the late 90s, and I've seen her driver's license that clearly states.......

Oh.

Oh fuck.

She should have been 38 when we met but.... What if she was only 9?

I mean, she has always worn padded bras since I've known her, so what if she just now grew those tits?

And I never saw her bush until we started filling around last month.

She seems like a competent employee, but I don't even know what her job there is.

What if she doesn't even really work there?!

What if those photos are shooped? I mean, she definitely has aged well..... If she's aged at all.

And if her degree and license are fake, then.....

OH SHI

Troll line
_________________________________________________

Fake story but if there where only two of you there and no DNA then deny it. Let the dad beat the fuck out of you it is the least you can do then think on..

Which country are you in? Hard to give legal advice if we don't even know that much. I suspect actual legal advice is what you'd need most, not this "omg user u dumb" shit.
It's hard to believe an 11 year old could pass for an 18 year old, taking into account all parts of the anatomy, since you did actually have full on sex. But if your case is real, I'd appeal to reason and tell the full truth. A judge is supposed to be more educated than random Sup Forumstards or angry rednecks.

I'm pro skub.

>commenting on Sup Forumstards intelligence while not seeing through this fake ass post.

>dear diary
>today I fucked an elephant.
>thought it was warm potato but no, was elephant
>momma elephant bought big rocket and will ship me to the moon. Genghis Khan approves. UN won't help me
>wat do now

this.

If anything happens, then the ID is your saving grace. Something similar happened to me once, but I'd taken a picture of her ID beforehand. She wasn't a prepubescent child though. (Seriously, being unable to tell whether someone is 18 or 11... either your story is retarded or you're braindead.)

Her mom and I are actually drinking buddies now. The girl is ridiculously awkward around me these days.

Does her mom know about it?

Thank you, I hope that this will all blow over and I can be drinking buddies with her dad or something after he beats my face in.

It happened once

did you squeeze her? always fun to bearhug the shit out of short tiny girls

>turns out she's 11

Change 11 to 15 and repost for better reactions. You're welcome

Nah, gonna change it to 8.

>[citation needed]
not with 11.
>b-but I'm very tall so all girls look the same to me
when OP post picture that proves he's about 20 feet tall I'll believe it, maybe he's nearsighted and just can't see well 15 feet down. But that aside, nothing make sense in his story. 6'6 guys can still see the difference between a girl of 11 and 18. 7'6 guys too.

OP I agree with this user. And polish it up a little.

Samefagging is a bannable offense.

I'm changing it to 8 and that's final.

/thread

fag
got

...

ask dad over for twilight and chill

>she look 18
Ah ha ha ha!!

You gotta find that fake license or you're fucked

topkek

My fucking sides

this is my niece she turned 13 on November 27

Doing doink

Its me op stop posting pics of grannies.

Younger would be funnier but wouldn't get reactions.

The "lawyer up" phrase gave it away for me

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

I would be more worried about protecting your little asshole for the next 8 years. I mean you're definitely gonna go to prison, and then you're gonna be a sex offender for the rest of your life. Hope it was good user. lol. 11. lol. Ha ha ha. You are fucked.

Id probably murder a few cops if I were you before you go into prison so you have a little clout where you're gonna be going.

Nice copy pasta, the best part is the uncle's license line.

True, but that's the point. It's funny because someone believes something so dumb.

Otherwise they just believe a believeable story.

Dad died a long time ago, so the mom was the protective type and very angry about it. The girl tried especially hard to play victim and throw me under the bus, but her story fell apart when I had picture evidence.
Kinda ironic, but nowadays the mom is joking about how we should actually get together now that she's "of proper age".

Not likely.

she wasn't 11, she was 18 her id said so

>The girl tried especially hard to play victim and throw me under the bus,
What the fuck? Why did she hate you?

fucking this, what sort of 11 year old is buying her own groceries? God damn, what a stupid fucking story.

At least make something new this is stale AF

She's just very mature for her age.

So her dad knows a prosecutor? Crazy odds. Also, normally these things have to go through the police before they are referred to prosecution by the state. So it doesn't make a lot of difference if her dad knows a lawyer or not.

>her dad filed a case against me

Where do you live that private citizens prosecute criminal offences as if they were civil litigation? Just wondering. Nice story though.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>turns out she goes to school
>but before she could tell me her age I got her number and address so we could meet up and fuck the very next day
normal day for chad I guess

Fucking autist, it's obviously a fake story. Nobody newds your detailed analysis of it to fucking come to that conclusion.

In our society you're pretty much fucked even if you were tricked. That how the world works.

this is fake as fuck, how could anyone be dumb enough to fuck an 11 year old and not notice, come on. this would have more credibility if you claimed her age was around 15-16 but 11? nope, fuck this

>confuses an 11 year old for a 18 year old

Wut

Dad is mad you banged his hormone fed fuck toy.

In court circumstances do not mean much in this type of case. You broke a statute, she cant give consent, ask for protective custody or yous a floor fag for the tier.

Post texts or you are bs, and got it in an 11 yr old, tiny dick.

>mistake a 11 year old for a 18 year old

i know girls get into makeup at a young age to look older but how do you fuck up this bad lmaooooo

what was she doing at a grocery store by herself?

Getting bread

Lawfag here, if she showed you the license and it looks legit you're probably okay. No intent to fuck a kid, and going as far to check her age looks better on you.

>11
my fucking sides, thanks for the laugh OP

shit this happened to me the other week

...

It's a lot easier than you think. When 16 year old me picked up a chick at the mall I thought she was older than I was and she turned out to be 11. Great fuck though.

fuck that shit. imo, if the girl likes about her age, she should take responsibility for her lie.
imo, SHE should be the one sent to jail, because she was the one deciding factor that made it all happen in the first place. men fucking KNOW not to fuck under 18s, but girls STILL fucking lie about their age and get men to fuck them while they are underage.
where is the justice?
why arent these psycho girls being taught not to lie?
why is it that only men are the ones being taught to be responsible?
why is a lie that directly results in a law being broken not considered against the law?
what kind of fucked up logic is this?

...

>lies about her age*

also, im apparently a nigger.

Haven't seen this copypasta in a while.

nigger

my negro spider senses tells me this whole story is bullshit just like we wuz kangs!