Degeneracy thread? I'll start
>be me, a few weeks ago
>feeling hungry
>too lazy to make food
>go to McDonalds, which is a walking distance away
>decide to order a regular cheeseburger meal
>notice a hottie 8/10 working on the burgers in the back
>get a semi
>she notices me and gives me a smile
>holytitballs.fcc
>get my meal and go back home
>look at the hamburger she made, with her two hands
>use the hamburger to jerk off
...
I went to BK later to get a meal that wasn't ruined by my penis
>be younger me
>discovered masturbation
>super horny, been watching loads of asians walking around in public naked
>idea.jpg
>go out into very public garden
>try to emmulate without fully naked
>bye bye trousers.bmp
>jack off
>cum buckets all over the flowers
>pull up pants
>go inside
>pretty sure neighbors seen
BK do better burgers anyway, who made your BK burger though?
Are you autistic frien
Kek
Not bad
Quite possibly, I've got more too
Don't know, can't really tell. Unlike in Mc, you can't see the work area of BK
Please share
Yep. That's pretty retarded.
>Be younger me
>Start enjoying shitting outside in forests and wiping arse with leaves
>Friend joins me and we both shit and wipe etc
>strange bonding
>one day decide to hop a bunch of fences with friend
>friend chickens out while I hop one more fence and end up in someones back garden right by their shed
>activate shit.exe
>leave a wet icecream consistency shit outside their shed
>hop fences back through multiple gardens and run home
>tfw I remember this
stoop
>Be me, 14
>Taking a big runny shit in school bathroom
>scratch my asshole, because it's itchy
>Get half chunky liquid shit on my fingers
>draw a shit swastika on the bathroom wall
>everyone blames the autistic kid who went in after me
>mfw
And more:
>me super young
>discover morning wanks are great
>on holiday with family down the country
>go for swims and use drying off in the house a good excuse for a naked wank
>start rolling around on parents bed (was drying off in there) going to town
>cum buckets
>realise suddenly there's a huge window and the owners + parents could probablysee the whole thing but parents were facing away (pretty sure owner seen)
>owner and her kids didn't talk to me after that ever again
And more:
>be me, primary school (like 11 or 12 y/o or something)
>need a shit
>teacher excuses me and I go to the toilets
>lid is wet
>purchase my ass as best i can
>turd.exe
>look back
>massive 3/4 of a log on the seat
>1/4 on the floor
>call my male classmates to show what I've done
>everyone laughs and find it hilarious
>left it there and got away scot free
I also accidentally pissed on a war memorial when wasted
story plox
Just hammered, found my way through a load of bushes (turns out it was a big garden and I was hammering through bushes trying to find privacy)
After leaving bushes in a fucking mess I pissed all over this brick thing that later on on my way home discovered it was a little bush maze kind of thing with a plaque with loads of fallen soldiers names on it
Also I pissed on a dead baby memorial thing accidentally too, similar story but in a different town
>be me, 11 years old
>Have a sister, 9 years old
>Power is out due to a snowstorm
>We hold true to our tradition of building a fort in the living room when the power goes out to sleep under.
>We're both super excited
>Night time rolls around, we're both tucked in
>Browsing the web with my cool ass iPod touch
>btw 11 at the time, so i get horny as fuck
>Fuck it, I'm too horny- end up finding the weirdest hentai with necrophilia and rape and coffins, and i think vampires
>good enough
>my jerk off arm is literally touching my sleeping sister and its rubbing against her
>feeling super guilty but im horny so whatever
>finally bust a nut
>got some on the blanket and she pulled it over, now my nut is on her clothes
>hope that it dries
>the ending of the video actually scared the shit out of my 11 year old ass
>Adrenaline from jerking off gone, now feeling guilty and scared
>what the fuck did I just do
wtf is wrong with you guys
>11 years old
>has ipod touch
How old are you user?
>be me
>lonely beta cuck
>on holiday with no internet
>with my grandmother
>get really fucking horny
>go into grandmothers room while she sleeps
>start jacking off to her
>about to cum go into her drawers
>find her panties and nut a huge load over them
>feel absolutely disgusted with myself
Dats fuckin disgusting OP
just talk to the girl and get a bj
as you probably should
...
>be 10, fat kid
>summer break
>rebel phase begins
>fat kid shit in zip lock bag, big and girthy
>choose asshole neighbor that laughed at me when I ate shit on my bike
>wait for mailman to drop off mail
>ride bike like normal
>make sure no ones looking
>put zip lock bag open vertically in mailbox behind mail.
Didnt get to see him grab my log but when I think about it
>mfw
THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING
First iPod touch came out 10 years ago so max he's 21
Nice, I like you.
HAH I out rank him, I'm 26
> What the fuck did I just do
You lied on /b. That's what you did.
It would only be disgusting and weird if i fucked my gran or nut on her, i was deprived of the sweet nectar of porn, so its justiified
Whatever helps you sleep at night bro
No it would have been less weird if you just fucked her and blew your load right in her asshole honestly
I'll try that next time
My grandpa died 3 years ago, the slags probably been deprived for a while
I'm not joking either, it really would be less weird to just fuck your grandmother
You hear about a guy jerking off in to women's underwear you think "Oh damn, that guy's a fucking weirdo". You hear about a guy fucking a woman you think nothing of it. Same thing applies to jerking off into your grandma's panties except just fucking your grandmother would be roughly about as weird as jerking off into a random woman's underwear, but jerking off in granny's panties? ur fucked m8
That's how I feel every time I finish even during sex. Ashamed of what my poor partner had to endure and all the dope in my brain released.
this
So
Fucking your gran > jerking off to her panties
ok dude
I used to do all sorts of shit related stuff i high school.
I would shit in urinals any chance I got.
I would shit into condoms and leave them hanging from bathroom door handles.
This one time I convinced the sister of a friend that it would be hilarious to leave a turd in a teachers desk, but it had to be hers because reasons. So she came over to my house and shit into a ziploc bag.I still remember it to this day, it was just less than a foot long, about as wide as a hotdog and was a light brown, almost yellow and really soft, but solid enough to hold it's shape. I told her I had chores I had to do so she would leave, and as soon as soon as she was out the door I opened the bag and took a huge whiff of it. As soon as the smell hit my nostrils I knew I had no choice in the matter. I took it into the bathroom, broke off a small piece and swirled it around in my mouth, it tasted just like what I always imagined her poop would taste like. I whipped my dick out and started fapping while I crammed the rest of it into my mouth and swallowed right as I came.
Bullshit. Who keeps track of who goes in and out of the bathroom to the point that they could reasonably blame the autist
what the fuck
also what does shit taste like
>poop swastika on wall
>autist went in
Easy High School solve there I guess. Or did you think high schoolers would actually go through the trouble of reasonable and rational thought?
Fine..
> be in hs
> making out with girl after date
> have to fart really bad
> we're in the back seat of the car
> ... Have to hold it for 20min
> she says she needs to pee
> says she'll be back and runs into her house
> thank God I can fart
> *activate hyper sharting*
> omg.. I just crapped myself
> we had tacos after school.. liquid shit
> quickly get out of car and wipe ass with remains of boxer shorts
> very difficult because they're silk (got them for my birthday)
> throw them into catwalk
> get back in car just in time for her to return
> say I gotta go, see her at school tomorrow
> next day she tells me that some disgusting persons threw their shit covered boxers into the path by her house
> ... Turns out she takes that catwalk to reach the bus
> play it off like I'm horrified
> she confronts me after school..
> she was joking with friends about the Loony Toons silk shit shorts at lunch
> ... Turns out Loony Toon silk boxers aren't common and one of her friends said I owned a pair
> henceforth whenever someone farts or there's a smell at school people ask me if I sbit myself again
> FML
Got a dog that gets high with me
Raw sauce
> around 14
> horny as always, at home alone
> genius idea
> take 2 slices of bread
> put butter on them to lessen friction
> microwave it
> put dick between slices
> still scratches like fuck
> would need too much butter
> won't work
> throw bread into trash
> wash dick
> be ashamed of myself
>also what does shit taste like
To most people it probably tastes just the way it smells, but if it's from the buttonhole of a girl you're attracted to, it tastes like a thousand universes being created and destroyed on the tip of your tongue.
All of the best orgasms of my life have been with my mouth filled with girlpoop.