ITT. we post our greatest crime

ITT. we post our greatest crime.

I'll go first. I used my car to smash down a fence so a druid could gain access to stonehenge.

Smashed a glass on an ads stand with an empty beer bottle while drunk on the verge of sunrise

Typical anglo.

Public nudity. Several times.

I reply to shitposts on Sup Forums.

Sometimes I forget to sage.

I fucked a 17 year old when I was 18

i smoked marijuana

Drove drunk probably close to a 1000 times.

I once accidentally stole a flump.

I anonymously donated 10p to the newsagent the next day

>druids
>law abiding
Pick one and bumping for druid bants

fucking druids, am I right?

Beat some guys ass with a baseball bat after he pulled a knife on me

Do you listen to Hawkwind?

I fucked an 18 year old when I was 17 years old

Isn't that legal?

Hi again INTERPOL !

It was cold, so me and a friend went and stole firewood in a shopping trolley.

We got beaten with tire irons and I got my face stepped on.

I bought $20,000 worth of furry porn.


I need help.. :(

stole a reese's from a home depot

stupid tripfag

Sucked an older girl's toes while she was sleeping when I was like 12

I went to jail for a year for Assault.
It was my 3rd charge with Assault.
I'm basically a nigger, I just love fighting, I think a lot of Aussies do, no one has ever told on me it's just police all over town.
I'd say I've been in at least 50 fights in and around pubs/clubs, it never used to be a big deal until king hitting rules got brought in.

I posted gore on a well-known french website and got arrested for it.

Hey, I'm just making sure every of my posts violates German law (^;

Bruh

Hitler did nothing wrong.

Now I can never go to Germany.

I shoot out streetlights with an air rifle

Trent?

I disagreed with a white woman once. She told me that was misogyny, which is a crime.

Of course, I was driving her uber pool, which she said was "equitable," and her "oblige noblesse" to do.

She also said she was a relationship counselor, by profession.

She says the men in couples who come to see her just don't realize how sexist they are until she explains it to them. Sometimes they're so stubborn that they just have to be divorced.

King hitting rules?
Things like first blood or dirty tricks?

I'm not even sure anymore

>mfw I work for the state

Fuck off, that's my name.

I have a disposable plastic knife taped to the underside of my bed frame in case of a home-invasion. Please don't tell anyone.

It used to mean hitting someone looking the other way/catch them off guard, now it's basically if you knock them out first punch, and it's a bigger sentence than hitting them twice.
People have started a slap for slap rule before the fight starts to get the first punch out of the way though.
People just like to fight in Australia

...

A king hit is like a k.o. sucker punch to the head. Had a few people die from getting king hit then cracking skulls on the pavement

A restaurant in San Diego didn't warn that soy was used in something I ordered. Soybean oil gives me diarrhea like you wouldn't fucking believe. When it hit me late that night, I was waiting for the train and found to my dismay that the public restrooms are locked at night. Lacking any other options, I bout a newspaper and shit in the bushes right next to the restroom.

>be me, be 10yo, i once stole a packet of rollos from the nice old guy from the local corner shop
i never did it for a dare or anything, just to prove to myself that i could , totally be james bond - smuggling shit in and out of a jewish undercover scam operation

i bought 2 packets next day and put one back.
my concious is a real overbearing cunt

i accidentally a whole coke bottle

We broke into a mobile shope warehouse and stole the packages.

You accidentally what?

I used my mother credit card on the internet in the mid 2000s when she didn't know it was possible to buy things without the pin code.
I was buying books, mainly some classics, saying it came from the school library.

Also I have three years of Sup Forums shitposting and I regularly visit both libertarian and alt-right sites so I must have broken every single article of PC bullshit.

Tax evasion.

>he doesn't suck toes

I lost the game.

Im the real Zodiac

Swing and a miss

Evaded taxes

I used to shoplift with my friend.

Pirate version of windows

he holed`d it bro
he slipped and accidently wholed it bro

stuck it up his jacksy

Drove drunk a few times. Also I might have told someone about the bonus situation

I sexually molested my 14 year old best friend in his sleep on multiple occasions.

Resisted arrest.

I stabbed a kid because he wouldn't give me my toy car. He stabbed me first though.

Smoked tons of weed

I stole a bottle of liquor from a CVS convenience store and ran like a nigger.

I walked around a sign that said "Sidewalk Closed" but ended up crossing the street 10 feet later out of fear

xp 7 8 or 10?
shit matters

Ted?

Forged a college degree with Photoshop for a "friend" when I was 15. He offered me money.

I stole a chocolate bar from the local movie rental place when I was 4

My parents made me go back and apologize.

I think I've stolen stupid shit when I was wasted.

I called the cops on a bunch of normies who were partying next door and said they had weed. Party shut down in 5 minutes after cops arrived.

drug usage
shoplifting
jaywalking

lads, seriously, I have ram raided a warehouse, I have hit and run a drug dealer, mid deal, got 20k coke, I shot a fella in the leg, *bonus* he was a fucking aussie cunto, talking shit, stole a 944.

i smoked weed a few times in high school, but that is pretty much it, i honestly hated it so I never had any trouble not doing it after that

Continue, we're all listening

that's rubbish, there's no way you'd need to do that, even at the solstice.

dubble 0
you black or white
#shitmatters

I used to think boipucci was a bad thing.

I'm sorry bros, can you ever forgive me?

Shame on you Nigel. What will your mullah think?

First xp, then 7
I don't think it matters here in commie hell, but nevertheless it is a nigger thing to do

>i bought 2 packets next day and put one back

kek.
this is the most middle class thing i have ever read

>the Rollo mystery solved

Not really a criminal type guy here.

Back in the day my apartment was a middle man essentially for a series of drugs transferring between towns. Paid my rent for about 6 months and i didnt have to touch or see shit lol

wow thats actually pretty badass

yeah sweet leaf, sounds about right

I once cut the top off of a bag of resealable skittles.

I can't even remember. Worst thing I probably did was steal $65 from a wallet left behind by a drunkard at Whataburger while working there. He came back and I blamed it on some random dude that comes in the middle of the night. I even described him: pasty, neck beard, socks & sandals, mid 40s

Hopefully he never found him

Public urination in the middle of a busy road

i exaggerate my goodwill donations on my tax returns.

I once stole a pretzel from a wawa when i was really hungry and the cashier was gone

but i felt bad so i went back and payed

bruv, i would totally operate with u
send otr pidgeon email

I broke into the secure tunnel under the U.S. Capitol from the Senate Cafeteria and walked all the way to the Senate Office Building, 1/3rd of a mile before being intercepted by the Capitol Police.

Statutory rape :^)

Murder.

were you high?

>violent riot or whatever you call it (football game when i was younger)
>a lot of fights
>destruction of property (ripped some leftist commercials signs)
>drunk disorderly

and the worst crime in Sweden
>the thought crime of wanting to decrease immigration

fuck that shit. its samhain ery dey

also tried most party drugs

Yea I just realized I jaywalked when I crossed the street so with those combined I probably could have gotten arrested

>944

If that means porsche I hope you left that baby in good condition

Murder.

YOU FUCKING MONSTER.

Muslims dont count.

We broke into a gas station at night after we figured out the safe code. Stole a shit ton of cigarettes too.

Stole w shit ton of scratch lotto too but were to scared to cash the winners in.

One was for 10,000 dollars.

That and one time I sold pills to a guy who od and died.

After i ate at this whataburger, i realized this fag who bought weed off me earlier (gerry i think) had stolen $65 out of my wallet

I went over to his house and went full operator

it was totally crazy, i should be in jail

I saw a fair m'lady getting robbed by a dastardly heathen so I unsheathed my epic katana and took a stand against him. It was f*cking epic. He darted away at my level of badassery and I was almost rewarded with a handshake from m'lady.

I throw she'll casings into people's yards when I'm driving home from the range to freak them out. Usually save 50 or so each trip for this. I know it's pretty juvenile but whatever

you deserve a thin nylon rope around your neck scum

I was once pretty drunk with my friends. So we broke in a bar of one of the friends uncle. Then i dont remember anything. I somehow Managed to get clean home even tho the bar was 10km away. Friend said we drank around 1000€ of beer and we were 8. How the fuck didnt we die?

i trafficked marijuana across international lines from the netherlands into germany. in usa, i trafficked marijuana across 7 different states

Graffiti or weed