Favorite album

>favorite album
>worst thing you've ever done

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/E6CcUj2mDbI
youtube.com/watch?v=5O2JdoFMIwk
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>got my high school teacher fired
some might remember this story

Raped an elephant

do tell

sounds familiar but go on

i believe you

Are you the user that got his science teacher fired or something due to some cheating fiasco?

>choosing a random album cover on my desktop for this thread

american football s/t

threw cooking apples at and old womans window

>had my friend killed by some thugs
ironically, he made this album

an old womans window***

I put a whole cucumber in my friend's dog's food bowl once when I was drunk. He ate the whole thing and I've been a wreck ever since.

Once procrastinated on an assignment and turned it in 2 days late.

I’m a nice person.

Picked on a kid in seventh grade to a point where his mother had to take him to therapy.

my brother and I broke into a guys house after we found out my girlfriend was cheating on me with him. Nobody was home so we killed his pet turtles.
Turned out it wasn't even his house.

>Stereolab - Dots and Loops
>one time I gave a very hurried girl directions to the wrong building

Lied to my gf about being too busy with schoolwork at college to come home and accompany her to her grandma's funeral on 4/20 so I could get high with my friends.

Slowly drove my best friends who were dating eachother to breakup

>telling a kid to self anal fist himself on a Facebook DM
He never answered me back so I guess he did it.

Doggos love cucumbers. You gave him a treat! :)

youtu.be/E6CcUj2mDbI

You posted this before, didn't you?

yeah, that's me
if i can find the story in the archive i'll post it here again

>i tell every single suicidal user to kill themselves
some of them probably did lol

Terrible
Bad
Not bad
Lmao

we're lame af, what board is full of /deviousguys/?

Underage

Fucked up my ex girlfriend really bad...

I actually found it. Here we go.

>Be me, in grade 12 physics.
>Tough course, I suck balls at math.
>Low class average on first unit test, people are nervous about coming one.
>A student asks the teacher, who's a bit dim-witted but very nice, about the next test.
>Teacher says it's very short, and to prove that point, pulls out a piece of paper he claims is the test from his desk at the front and shows us the length of it.
>Puts it back in desk.
>Friend of mine jokingly says we should take a picture of it after class.
>Laugh him off.
>End of class approaches.
>Find out friend is serious.
>Class ends, teacher runs out in a hurry to get to next lesson, friend sticks around.
>Me and other friend who knows what's happening leave in a rush not wanting to get caught in whatever stupid plan our friend has.
>We all share the same class next period.
>He walks in.

It's in 9 parts.

>Friend, who I'll call Andy, quietly shows us pictures he's taken, they seem legit.
>Me and other friend, who I'll call Mike, start to freak out a little.
>I tell friend not to tell anyone else.
>He shares the pictures with us and we start to study it.
>Pictures only includes questions, not answers. We're having trouble figuring some things out.
>Andy decides it's a good idea to let our classmate, who I'll call John, in on this since he's a bit of a math wiz.
>Me and Mike are strongly against it, but Andy does it anyway.
>John sends us pictures of his solutions as thanks for sharing the test.
>All's well till we find out John has shared the pictures with his friends in the class, as we feared.
>Soon half the class knows what's up, many know it was Andy who stole it.
>Test comes around, a lot of people ace it.
>Teacher is happy people are doing well.

cont.

does anybody remember that guy that had a sexual relationship with his frog?
I think it was in one of these threads

R Plus Seven
>worst thing i've done
I guess throughout a period of my life being really impersonable and shitty to people i had to be around alot would be up there , it's either that or the time I masturbated onto a family pet , not things i feel good about at all

>Andy decides to do this again for the next test.
>Me and Mike just fuck around now in class, thinking we don't have to study.
>We find out one guy in the class, Harold, did poorly on the test despite having the answers.
>lol.jpg
>Next test comes around, things happen the same way. We all do really well. Teacher, who, again, is a dunce, thinks everyone is just studying hard.
>Fucking Harold still got lower than the rest of us.
>Don't think much of it.
>But then Andy approaches Mike and me later in the day and tells us that there's been talk that Harold went to the teacher to tell him about the whole thing since he's jealous of the people doing well.
>We freak out, and go to class the next day expecting the worse. Nothing happens.

cont.

>the time I masturbated onto a family pet
nani?

youtube.com/watch?v=5O2JdoFMIwk

Dragged out a failing relationship while we both cheated repeatedly.
Fell in love with some one online a year later and lied about who I was. I broke up with them out of shame and they ended up finding out it was all a lie. Oops.

>We figure that if Harold did say anything to the teacher it was only suggesting what was happening, since showing proof of the test pictures would mean also showing how he used them to cheat on the first two.
>We hope this is the case and tell John not to share any future pictures with Harold.
>John agrees.
>Next test is coming up.
>The teacher has been staying later into the class these days.
>Andy ends up staying in class right up till the end while me and Mike keep watch, and tell him the teacher for the next period is about to come in.
>Me and Mike walk off to next class, hoping that Andy will be fine.
>He walks in soon after us.
>Ask him if he's gotten the pictures.
>Tells us the other teacher was about to walk in so he didn't have time.
>Says he just grabbed the test instead.
>wtf.exe

cont.

Why

>Andy literally pulls out the test from his bag, shows it to us.
>We quickly tell him to put it back.
>We're scared knowing the teacher will definitely find out this time.
>Test results come back.
>Teacher goes around handing them out, says good job, nice work, etc.
>Hands back Andy's without saying anything, despite him getting near perfect.
>Shit, he probably knows it's Andy now.
>After class we discuss what we should do to avoid detection.
>Andy is old friends with another guy in class, who is among the now 15 or so people benefiting from the stolen goods.
>He's friends with Harold.
>We tell him quietly to talk to Harold and find out what's happening.
>Tells us Harold won't say much, but did say that he is helping the teacher catch people who are breaking rules.
>This is bad.
>Meanwhile, a grade wide physics contest is coming up that we join for the fuck of it, might look good for university.

cont.

instead of a physics class, you should have taking an editing class fugg

>have a toxic relationship with someone married and 15 years older than me(i was the toxic one, basically fucked her life up all because of my lust and young people pretentiousness)

>almost having sex with my cousin(she was one year younger than me and we were both teenagers, now we don't even talk about it)

>making my friend quit his job after encouraging him to follow his dreams(i knew he was not gonna make it), he found a new job, a lot worse one.

>make suicidal people who i have interest in devoted to me, kind of like the first story, they don't recover well since they are usually outcasts.

It might look like I am a piece of shit but I gained a lot of experience from these things and I try to support them whenever I can.

Jeff Buckley, Grace

Whats wrong with cousin love

masturbated to necroporn

>We complete the contest, didn't get most of the questions. Move on from it, who cares.
>Back in class, we plan to be extra careful for the next test.
>Pretend to study in class, ask teacher questions to act confused.
>Andy thinks it's a good idea to try to get into the classroom after school is over for next test to avoid other people.
>Goes with Harold's friend, who I guess I should name now, Paul and try to get into the classroom.
>Door is locked, they try picking it for fuck's sake.
>Doesn't work obviously so they decide just to do it right after class like before.
>We get the test again and things are looking good. Harold and teacher still have no idea how to prove it's us as he didn't know how and when we were getting the tests.
>Fast forward a few days, nearing the end of the semester.
>Teacher still hasn't done shit and our averages are looking good.
>In math last period, with all three of us.
>Teacher gets a phone call.

cont.

>what's wrong with cousin love
THEY ARE FUCKING RELATED

you got experience in being a better psychopath i guess

>Teacher hangs up, tells Andy he is wanted in the office.
>ohfuck.png
>Phone rings again, this time it's Paul.
>Me and Mike freak out, expect our names next but nothing happens.
>Andy and Paul don't show up the rest of the class.
>We go home scared out of our minds.
>Didn't have a phone or internet during this time. It's Friday have to wait till Monday to find out what's happened.
>Couldn't fucking sleep.
>I get to school on Monday, find Andy and he tells us what's happened.
>Tells me that he and Paul met up with the vice principal who questioned them vaguely.
>Didn't outright accuse them but mentioned video cameras in the hallway and lock picking.
>Told them that if they confess then it'll be a school matter, otherwise if they prove it was them they'll involve the police.
>Andy and Paul don't say anything.
>VP gives them time to think it over.
>I'm freaking the fuck out as I learn this.
>We tell Mike, he's also shitting himself.

cont.

She cheated on me and started using heroin, which infuriated me.
I'm not very proud of what I did, I could've handled it in a mature way.
That decision ultimately fucked up my reputation, I have no one to talk to irl...

It's not love, just puberty.You don't know what the fuck is going on with your body and try to explore it.Cousin love is still a bad thing.

i treat the people who care about me really poorly and even though i regret it i still do it all the time.

I lost my virginity at 18 years old for 60 dollars. It was with a morbidly obese prostitute in a smokey motel. I bought her a pack of cigarettes too. She had a bunch of 2 liter soda bottles left out around the apartment. The situation was so bad I didn't have sex for seven more months when I went to college

I don't think I am a psycopath, I just try to be nice but being nice for a long time is quite harder than it looks like.

So?
What did you do

>We ask Andy what he's gonna do. Says he doesn't know. Doesn't want the police involved, scared over his university acceptance.
>Have to leave school right at last bell to catch bus, the rest stay behind to discuss what to do.
>Come back the next day.
>Andy and Paul are not there.
>Frantically look for Mike.
>He tells me he hasn't met them either.
>Sweating bullets thinking they were expelled or something.
>Think I'm next.
>School day goes normally.
>After school me and Mike decide to go to Andy's house to ask him what's up.
>Go there and find out that he and Paul decided to confess.
>But instead of confessing to stealing the tests from the teacher they said that they had just tried to break into the classroom after school to get the answers for the physics contest we had done some months ago.
>Since the only camera was in the hall they would've been seen trying to get in after school, but never taking the tests after class.

cont.

Why did you pay to lose it at so young? I know guys who waited much longer.

I used to do this a lot more than I do. I'm learning it's all anxiety based.

>VC and teacher believed them, have no proof otherwise. There were many tests in the desk so even taking one didn't arouse suspicion.
>They didn't mention anyone else's name.
>The 2 got suspended for a couple days.
>We rejoice our relative success.
>We complete the exam, pass the course with decent marks and move onto the next semester.
>Find out that rumours that the teacher keeps his tests in the desk at the front have spread throughout the school, his current classes are also stealing them.
>He didn't even bother fucking moving them.
>Happening with almost all of the his current students.
>The younger students are a little less refined than we were and the administration finds out what's happening.
>Find out a few weeks later that the teacher was having a job interview in a different field.
>Is apparently being forced out over his ineptitude.
>They still have no proof we started it.
>We get off scot-free.

There's the story. Made a few minor edits for the sake of continuity.

sì

>>make suicidal people who i have interest in devoted to me, kind of like the first story, they don't recover well since they are usually outcasts.

that's kind of psycho behavior dude, and i'm not saying that as a meme. go visit a therapist for your own good and everyone else's

I couldn't get any girls or make many friends in high school. Spending so much time alone made me really upset. I still am kinda emotionally fragile to be honest, I assume people hate me pretty quickly. Going to college has made me a lot better though

Yeah dude thats pretty sociopathic borderline psychopathic. Actually that might qualify as actually psyhopathy. You deliberately find/target people when you find out they're suicidal?

I had a similar situation. We bullied a teacher into quitting on the spot.
>sophomore year
>get sat with literal best friends in math class
>fat teacher
>she has a huge fupa
>this is a running joke through the school.
>has been for years.
>her spirit is already broken and she's pretty passive.
>We would pass around tests when her head was turned
>did this for months
>everyone starts seeing how little she cares. She'd catch people in mid-pass and just bitch but do nothing
>people talk all class, ignore her
>she tells us to be quiet. We ignore her more and more.
>one day she snaps, yells to shut up, is losing it
>best friend says calmly, "shut up fat ass"
It kept up this way, with us just getting more and more lazy and rude with her. Eventually she ended up in tears one day and walked out. We had a sub for the rest of the year and parents were notified that she had quit without explanation. That summer she died of a heart attack.

At least I got a nice tight spicette with a nice ass for 20 bucks.

I just find this so weird. My boyfriend was a kiss-less virgin until he met me at age 25. I guess people react differently to that situation, though.

>Obese
>HEART ATTACK
Poetry

>fall in love with someone who doesn't care about me

I'm gigantic faggot twink sissy trap and I post on Craigslist and /soc/, regularly finding married men to bareback me with the hopes that I'll give them herpes to spread back to their ugly wives

I still secretly believe she killed herself, but I think I just want to take all the credit.

Stop

>muh friendzone :(
no one owes you anything

nobodys gonna fail this this

Holy shit, that was the best Sup Forums story I've ever read! Fictional or real, the development was beyond compelling and interesting! Question: Which year was this and which state? Not to be a creep or anything, but just curious.

Why would anyone want to be a teacher?
There was a teacher at my school, a fairly young guy who got treated like shit, back-talked, given no respect, and got locked out of his own classroom.
He apparently cried in class from being bullied by the students and got mocked some more.
Then we all found out that that his wife died in labor, and you could see the guilt go over peoples faces.

I imagine the teachers who got bullied probably didnt appeal to highschoolers when they were in school. When remembering back to it, all the teachers people really loved were usually super charismatic.
The ones who lacked a lot of personality and were too serious in non AP classes tended to get shit on.

i know it's not healthy but still here's how it happened couple times

>in highschool(senior years)
>new batch arrives
>qt with glasses and short hair picks up my interest
>she's insecure, as expected
>i go meet her, talk to her, we find a couple similarities, not the things i love but i have knowledge of
>so we talk about them, she gets more open and enthusiastic
>inform her about these things
>walk around the school on school breaks
>long nightcalls
>she's experiencing shit tons of new things with me(not drugs or hard drinks though i'm not a dick)
>make her join your group of friends, older cooler guys around her, they usually ignore her but not in a dickish way since i have nice people around me

At this point, you basically have your own human and when you leave(for university or for your own sake, i have my own problems too), she starts to become that shy girl again, calls get shorter and shorter, simply because the things that interests her doesn't interest me anymore.

kissed my sister while she was sleeping

It saddens me when people just don't appreciate the value of education, especially in America. Teachers are just humans who want to bring out the potential we have to be the best we can be. Otherwise we'd just remain a slew of autistic basement-dwelling fags with no rhyme nor reason to exist.

damn, you actually made me feel bad for a fatty.

Ohio, 2010.

>fucked an underage girl

is she a qt

ok now that's creepy

Should have fucked

whats funny is i never really thought about it until now. I graduated three years ago. I had already posted about my worst thing and that wasnt it at all.

>abused my adoptive father who was dying of parkinson's disease because I was raised in a psychotic and tragic environment

that's hot

He Lennon'd her.

yes
if it makes it any less creepy to know, I ran to the bathroom afterwards and fapped my heart out
I wish

Why didnt you two fuck

no wonder you listen to Paramore

Well, after compiling evidence (pics and videos that were floating around of her getting buttfucked/shooting heroin), I invited her over to my place to watch a movie. Before she came down I inserted most of those clips into the movie, so that I catch her off guard.
Her reaction was more than enough. Still, I asked her to explain what's the deal with the clips.
She was stuttering, and as she tried to explain herself I just started hitting her in the face, pulling her by the hair, spitting at her.
I gave her a blue eye, busted her lips.
She almost passed out, so I had to stop and take a deep breath. I knew from that moment that I fucked up big time, so I just carried her to the bed and put ice on the spots she was mostly injured.
We didn't say a thing to each other, we eventually fell asleep, but when I woke up she was already gone.
Since she knew I had evidence to get her arrested, I wasn't reported to the police for assault, because I can also get her ass locked up too, but the same gang that fucked her decided to fuck me up. They got me good...
Moral of the story is, don't let anger fuck with you, especially around women, because it can be damaging to one's conscience and reputation. I fucked up college, I fucked up my social life, nobody wants to really be my friend, even my parents fucking despise me (which is ironic because dad would frequently fight my mom, but not the extend of fucking her up so bad, but oh well, whatever).
That's not funny...

have you sniffed her panties yet
don't lie friend

Are there people who are actually so far lost in the "I can't like anything pop" meme that they dislike Paramore?

it's ok to not like Paramore

>Be me as a young kid
>At my parents friends house, they have a kid my age, he's a nice enough dude
>We are all eating dinner
>I finish first so I go upstairs and am just hanging out by myself
>See friends game boy
>Pokemon cartridge inside
>Turn it on
>look at his profile, he has all the badges, has been playing for hours
>an evil feelings sweeps over me
>I delete his profile
>put the game boy back
>We hang out for the rest of the night
>I don't mention it
>I leave the house without him knowing

I don't even know why I did it. The idea popped into my head and I just almost couldn't stop myself

She couldn't even so much as discuss if she felt dissatisfied with you? Why Is it so hard to express what we think?

because she's my sister obviously and she didn't have the same overwhelming sex drive that I had
no but her dirty bras and swimsuit though

this was a dark time in my life and talking about this makes me realize how much I hate myself

>Infinity Frequencies - Computer Decay
>bullied some autistic kid bc he didn't shower, he cried

this story feels familiar
move to another city, i'd take a low paying jobfor the opportunity to start anew.

One time I smoked crack

So who is the worst guy on this thread?

> I fucked up college, I fucked up my social life, nobody wants to really be my friend, even my parents fucking despise me

Why still stay in that city then?Just fucking move dude.

Threw a kid off of a trestle bridge after he tried to pull a knife off of me, Then he tried to set me up with his sister.