Just a PSA don't jack off with shampoo

Just a PSA don't jack off with shampoo

Lesson learned a long time ago, it'll heal over a few days don't sweat it.

cocoa butter
you're supposed to use cocoa butter

OH FUCK you just gave some flasbacks... Worst part was I didn't know what did it so I used shampoo twice. OOF

Conditioner dude

shaving cream is slick as shit tho.

ALWAYS jack off with shampoo. Makes those nerve endings closer to the surface and intensifies the experience.

Bonus points, use Prell. Makes your sack peel in sheets.

I jacked off with body wash in shower few times a while back. Pissing stings like a motherfucker afterwards. Soap probably doesnt belong in urethra.

Why don't pple just go dry? yall niggas have shit skin

nah dude you have to use moisturizing shampoo

Can't go dry In a fleshlight, and I ran outta lube. Skin was fine before this

I'm not a mutilated-at-birth dick fag, so I generally do not require some extra product to jack. But one time for whatever reason I did in the shower with some shampoo. It apparently irritated my piss hole and I thought I had gonorrhea.

I spit, because Im a fucking nasty mother fucker

haha i remember those days. wish i was there to rub your balls buddy. dont forget to go light on the lotion or it will take longer to heal

wtf? did you put it all over your scrotum or something?

done. I don'T even shampoo.

I use shampoo to fap all the time......in the shower......where it just cleans your fucking pecker then rinses off.

I know the feel

My first girlfriend used to give me hand jobs when I'd come over and use conditioner as lube, was awesome. One time she only had shampoo, it worked well enough and I came buckets but I'd never wash after going home. Went home this time, fell asleep, and my junk was a disaster when I woke up, much like yours. It'll heal in a couple days.

kind of reminds me of when i was at the hospital. i had thrush, and then i got a yeast infection. that was kind of what my penis looked like. i liked picking at the dry skin.

Cant use cocoa butter or oils in a fleshlight

>Cant use cocoa butter or oils in a fleshlight

Use coal dust. Gives your dick that BBC shine.

buy some coconut oil
microwave it and your good to go

same thing happened to me with aloe Vera. never again

Always fap with 90wt. Gear oil

>Always fap with 90wt. Gear oil

In the winter, use 60 wt.

>All these cutfags with dry dicks

lolololol

...

used to do that shit all the time when I was a kid, I loved peeling the skin. Now I have scarred up balls and girls get curious and shit, "I jacked off too much when I was like 13" is a bit of a turnoff, maybe even more than if it was some sort of skin-killing STD

So which lube you you prefer. Sheep or goat?

uh how do you jack off ur balls..

Are you implying you used fucking shampoo in a fleshlight?

>Are you implying you used fucking shampoo in a fleshlight?

Fucking shampoo? You mean there's a special type for that?

Well, there's your problem right there...

Cocoa butter did the same shit to me, but it gave me 2 more inches of girth for a couple days too

Have you never heard of pube shampoo? I bet you use a normal head hair curling iron as well you filth

Oh man. I wiped my balls with clearasil facial wipes once. My balls were so dry I thought my scrotum was gonna tear off for about a week

>I bet you use a normal head hair curling iron as well you filth

Jokes on you!. I don't curl my pubes. I braid them...

If you had foreskin, you wouldn't have to use anything but your hand.

Sorry about your ruined dick, Schlomo.

If you had a real job, you'd have callouses.

Guess all that grease from flipping burgers keeps your skin soft.

some jackass posted somewhere on Sup Forums saying how you could jerk it with toothpaste and its just like warming lube.

it was weird at first because toothpaste is rather thick. Had a tiny tingle, then a little more. Then it was kind of warm, then warm. Then it started getting too warm, then it started stinging to the point it was almost burning. Lasted for 20+ minutes after i got out of the shower.

tl;dr dont jerk off with toothpaste

Freeze those MFs!!

>tl;dr dont jerk off with toothpaste

This is now a things not to jerk off with thread.

Gasoline
Sandpaper
Gorilla glue
Hot french fries
Nerve gas

Seconded. And you don't even have to microwave it. The melting point is super low.

joke's on you, mudslimes take pride in circumcision like you jewmericans do

>mudslimes take pride in circumcision

You circumcise your goats? Well, if the Imam says it's OK...

You gotta fucking rinse it off; It is not lotion, you cannot just leave it on. This exact thing happened to me once, because I thought I could just leave hand-soap on my cock and balls.

This is now a things you CAN jerk off with thread.

Any commercial made lubricant (water, silicone, or oil based)
saliva
petroleum jelly
hand cream/body lotion
coconut oil

what else gents?

You fellas ever nut in a glove? No clean up afterwards, just wipe your dick and then throw the glove away.

>what else gents?

Gut a banana and use the peel
Your sister's panties
Crisco
A rabbit fur lined glove

i lay down folded up tissue paper before hand and i nut onto that.

sometimes i'll just fap in the bathroom while jerkin it to porno on my cell phone.

soap / shower gel / shampoo destroys skin , thats the result

Blood

cum