cutie 3.14 just sent me this on tinder
problem is I DO have a gf, just debating if I should end things with her or not (and obviously if I take this girl up on her offer I'll end things and if I stay with my gf I won't)
wat do
cutie 3.14 just sent me this on tinder
problem is I DO have a gf, just debating if I should end things with her or not (and obviously if I take this girl up on her offer I'll end things and if I stay with my gf I won't)
wat do
post gf's nudes and let Sup Forums decide
bumping with unrelated pics
Post pics to compare
maybe you should figure that out before you try to meet girls tinder..?
fair enough, this is current gf
I mean that would have been ideal but here I am
I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out
another of current gf
ffs forgot pic
another of gf
never posted her before lmao
gf's tits
...
...
Post the new girl!
Face?
Alpha enough to get a girl that hot but not smart enough to fuck them both?
Could easily be a trick by gf to check loyalty,be careful
this
don't have anything of her that couldn't be reverse image searched
can never be too safe lmao
probably not sorry, too sketched out
I fucked around with two other girls before two years ago but felt really shit about it and I don't wanna do that again
Bro don't back down, let b judge
she's been talking to me for a few days and lives in a different city as my gf and is in a completely different age group. I'm not worried. if I'm gonna get ratted out it'll be by someone else, maybe one of the other 100+ matches
For starters, why are you on Tinder?
Life is short, user. Before you know it you'll be old and fat and nobody will want to fuck you. Seize the fucking day.
TBH, though, your current gf is very attractive.
your girlfriend is cute. don't cheat on her. if you're already on tinder, that's a sign you're not really invested in the relationship anymore and you should just end it.
honestly I'm kinda here for legit advice on whether or not to stay with my GF but I've kinda gotten all sidetracked lmao. I already know she's hot I'm not worried about that
started as a "let's look for a threesome" thing then the got all uncomfortable with it and made me delete it, but every once in a while I check back in on it because I'm a narcissistic asshole and have problems
Very true, I've been with her 3.5 years and it's eaten up all my teenage years... I'm not getting any younger and at this point I've really gotta choose if I'm gonna marry her or not and if no, I've gotta run
and thank you
OP is a massive faggot.
The grass always looks greener on the other side.
man in terms of girlfriend the grass on your side is often dryed out and trampled down and the gras on the other side is actually quite nice.
people change , the girl you vibed very well with 3 years ago is probably a different person now and so are you.
might as well go for the new and repeat in a few years.
original reason for tinder was threesome, but I shouldn't be back on it
I'm just in one of those "do I marry her or nah" moods and they fuck with me pretty hard
right!? but what if the grass really is greener? Ive honestly only had one serious relationship (this one), one semi-serious (a few months) and a few very short (read: flings) so I really just feel like I don't have enough experience to know 1. if I should stay with her forever and marry her and 2. if the grass really is greener on the other side or if this is just a combination of me getting fed up with some things about her and having the coolidge effect added on top
From your replies you sound like a complete idiot. I'm amazed that anybody wants to fuck you. My advice is to fuck the girl because I can't see you getting much pussy in the future.
how old are you? the marriage talk seems pretty premature.
meh, I do alright lmao, not concerned... also if that's the concern wouldn't it make more sense to stay with the guaranteed pussy?
21. it is premature, I think I'd propose around 23-26 and marry in my late 20s if I stay with her. it's just after 3.5 years you kind of realize that it's pretty serious and you really are either going to marry them or break up and it's fucking weird because I can see both happening, but I am completely in control of the outcome because she is absolutely in love with me... for me it's just about which would make me happier and I honestly have no fucking clue and it's terrifying
>Mfw OP can choose between 2 qt3.14s and I can't even find one to talk to me
>If I had a gf I'd want to hold on to her and not think about other women
>enjoy what you've got OP
just chill out. i'm 21 too; i had serious a boyfriend from when i was 15 to 19, he thought we were going to get married. i broke it off. i'm dating someone currently and have had thoughts about ending it because i know he's not the guy i'm gonna marry, but we have fun and we make each other happy and he's what i need right now and that's what matters when we're this young. don't stress the far off future too much
>if this is just a combination of me getting fed up with some things about her and having the coolidge effect added on top
that sounds like if you are fed up with her shit you are fed up with her shit , there`s no underlying mistical value. you gras isn`t the greenest
I think with a realitionship you have two options , settle for something established out of economic (might not be the perfect word) reasons.
stability, two incomes, opportunity to raise a child.
but that means compromises and coping with shortcomings.
or you look for something that suits needs better. the whole "my patner is my best friend" thing. that`s pretty cool but it might not work out and just like with your current relationship you might evolve differently in the next few years and youll be faced with the same situation.
>Dumping your girlfriend because of catfish
Wtf she's cute man
think about what you have first.
do you mind losing what you have.
is the new girl better, or just tempting.
how did you meet your current girlfriend
chances are a girl on tinder being so forward is a whore that isn't worth sticking with.
then again, you are on tinder, so dump your current girlfriend and free her from your pathetic behaviour
Don't cheat on your girl she's a cutie, delete tinder for good and be happy with your current gf, she obviously loves you because she's been with you for 3.5 years.
>has a gf
>is on tinder
American logic.
Americans also marry at 18 years old and shit lol. Bunch of lunatics
either dump her or be serious with her.
either way, don't waste her fucking life with your ineptitude.
watch some stuff from the 1950s where people had normal relationships that lasted.
you have to make a choice to be serious about it. life goes past quite quickly. statistically, you'll be a lot happier if you settle down and have a good woman who you can trust and respect.
same applies for her, she needs someone she can trust and respect.
if you are a fag in a playground looking for something else whenever the opportunity comes, you likely don't appreciate what you have, and so should break up with her and go after the new whore.
this.
/thread
I realize I've got it good and trust me user, I appreciate the ever living fuck out of it. I only really started coming out of my shell and having success with girls at like 17ish
true, but sometimes she kinda puts a damper on the have fun and be young thing. she's very jealous and needy so all my time goes to her and she makes me feel guilty when I spend time with others or make new friends. Overall I'm happy with her though and at surface value the days I spend with her are enjoyable. I just kind of feel like i might be wasting my time if I'm not gonna marry her... if I'm just dating for fun then maybe I'd have more fun exploring other girls too? I think part of it is I feel like I missed going through that phase of dating a bunch of different girls, shes kinda my first serious gf
good points, thank you
there's only one girl I know of who could play the "my partner is my best friend" role but she lives a bit too far away from me right now for it to be a feasible relationship
Break up with her and send her my way
Then smash tinder bitch
Everyone wins
start new good and constructive habits and stick with them
socialising is a skill that takes practice.
talk to people, the more you talk, the better you will become.
become a volunteer, work in a a job where you meet lots of members of the public and have to talk to them.
Why the fuck are you on tinder if you have a gf. You are a shitty human being.
in the past, 3.5 years is long enough to know you want to marry her.
try imagining never seeing her again, ever.
if you can imagine that and feel alright, dump her.
if not, i recommend becoming bisexual with homosexual black men, as they have the highest aids rate.
she's not a catfish she has her ig linked n shit and we have some mutual friends. besides, it's not really for this SPECIFIC girl
yeah she is cute as fuck man that's a big reason of why I've been with her
I do and I don't mind losing her. I really don't have enough relationship experience to know for sure. I met my current gf on tinder btw (yes I'm serious)
she does love me
I'm not American
yeah I don't want to toy around with her, that's why I'm trying to put pressure on myself to make a decision but I've honestly been feeling this way for a reasonably long amount of time, just kind of on and off
well, wondering about whether you want to be with her or not is alright.
but at some point you have to make a decision.
making the decision will affect how your feel and behave after that, it really makes a difference.
If you make a choice "I want to be with her", it makes the relationship work better, you enjoy it more, you relax and don't think about other girls so much, you begin to really enjoy what you have.
However, if you really aren't greatly interested in her, and don't really feel a big love for her, then something is missing.
People do change and grow over time, but you have to decide whether that is with her, or separately.
Either way, make a decision, and don't just start fucking the girl on the side, because you'll feel shitty again, and you will be treating your girlfriend with disrespect.
Respect is the most important thing in a relationship.
Dump her, you sound like garbage and she does the need shit like you that can't make up their mind. Fuck off.
kek
this. talk to ones you aren't interested in to take some pressure off too. honestly even go on Omegle and try to carry conversations! massively helped me with my confidence. just keep talking to more and more and learn from your mistakes. eventually you'll realize that most are very similar and that a few techniques will work on most, just with slight changes required based on their feedback/responses/body language and such. it's a skill you can only learn by fearlessly running into it. you will fail but you've just gotta move onto the next
read one of the posts above. I would have never downloaded the app myself in the first place but now that it was there with her consent it's been a bit addictive, but yes I agree it's overall a shit thing for me to do. that's why I'm trying to make a decision to either go and do this or properly commit to her
how I feel about it depends on the day/mood. some days I'm like yeah idc but other days I feel like I couldn't live with myself and would curl up in a tiny ball of tears
A really important thing to remember, that I sometimes find hard to apply, is choose what YOU want to do, and do it.
Don't make decisions solely based on other people, if it will lead you to feel miserable or uncontent afterwards.
That means, if you want to end it, then end it and hurt her feelings, accept the consequences and move on.
If you want to stay with her, then choose to do so.
Also important to remember is, how much of the proportion of the time is happy, and how much is unhappy.
Work it out, keep a diary for a few weeks, even with just ticks and crosses representing good days and bad days, or arguements as a cross.
Over a month you should be able to see the proportion of good times.
If it is 80% happy, then maybe you have a good thing.
If it is 50-50, maybe rethink things, have a talk with her, see what she feels and is thinking.
How does she feel about you? Devoted to you, or just playing along.
Yeah, not gonna try to do both, wouldn't be okay with myself if I did that. I need to make a decision but I'm just having such a fucking hard time with it. I can honestly see myself living a happy life with her for the rest of my life but at the same time I can see myself being happy dating around and eventually committing to someone else for the rest of my life. I don't really believe in having "the one", I believe in making a choice with someone you do love and committing to making it work. Any relationship is sure to have its downfalls and challenges, it's your attitude and commitment that keeps it together long term
Honestly you're not wrong. I do sound like garbage based on this right now. I really can't fault you for thinking that since I feel like fucking garbage when I think about this stuff
Whether you believe me or not I am otherwise the perfect boyfriend, we take cute pictures together, have photoshoots, I meet her friends and they all love me and think we're adorable together, her family loves me, I take great care of her (financially and physically), all that good shit. There's a reason she's been with me this long, man
you might be able to think more clearly if you delete the app right now, delete your profile, remove any contact with other options.
then see if you want to dump your girlfriend and be alone for a while.
might make things easier to think about
dont break whats not broken, but go for this bitch at the same time. get a good fuck, maybe keep her on the side. a mans gotta have fries with his burger. dont toss ur steak cuz u got a salad as a side.
Big thank you to all the user genuinely trying to help. I realize my approach is shit and I kind of sound like shit but it's kind of how I get when I start thinking about this stuff.
Good advice. Some of what stops me is I know it would be absolutely crushing to her. She is absolutely devoted to me in every way and thinks we're going to get married.
The diary thing is a great idea. I've been kind of doing it mentally already since September and it's very inconsistent. It goes 90/10 for a week, 50/50 for 2 weeks, 100/0 for a week then 0/10 for another two and then back to 60/40 or 70/30 most of the rest of the time.
no one has an answer for you but yourself.
if you can see yourself living a good life with her, maybe take that route.
i think a lot of people make life too complicated now, i certainly have for myself.
now my friends are having children, and just going through life. it isn't perfect, but they seem to have a good life, something solid.
at some point, you have to choose, same with everything.
your job, where you live, who you live with and so on.
once the choice is made, you can focus on it and life becomes a bit more rewarding
but you are still young, so you can choose to look around.
there's still the old saying, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
make sure you know what you are throwing away before you do so.
might help you if you talk with your dad about it, or an older male you know and who isn't part of the situation.
don't tell your friends or her friends, as they might have interest in breaking you guys up etc.
Good point as well. It's not really about the other options, though. I honestly just thought this would be a good way to get attention to the thread (seems to have worked). Well before having this app I've been having these thoughts, and I really just go back and forth on it forever and it doesn't feel good
part of me thinks if I've been going back and forth for so long that there's no way I should keep going, but I also know myself and know that I overthink a lot of things so this isnt out if the ordinary and doesn't mean I'm not happy most of the time. completely overall I'd say I'm happy 70ish% of the time
couldn't do this to her or me
maybe also ask yourself, what you feel you are missing from the relationship
is it from her, or is it your own perception, and will those missing things come along the way?
for the diary thing, keep it based on either reality or your opinion and what matters to you, don't base it just on her happiness.
mark the stuff down, because being in the moment can make something feel much worse and longer lasting than it is.
the proportion is something you have to decide for yourself of what is good for you.
are you alright with 70%?
is that only the relationship, or your own life too.
is there something you could change where you'd be happier but still with her?
Absolutely. The times when I feel absolutely 100% committed to her feel so fucking great. I know nothing is perfect but I do just feel like we would be really happy (overall) in the long term. But when she does something I hate or I'm reminded of something I don't like about her or our future together I can't help but wonder... but how much of that wondering is just normal?
and good point on being careful who I get my advice from. I don't think my dad would be good for this but very good call on avoiding my friends, most of them are very pro us breaking up and some have had interest in me before which may affect their input
ask your uncle or your grandfather
they'll likely have simpler and more straight forward points of view on it
what don't you like about her?
it's up to you to set boundaries with her, and her to set boundaries with you.
better in the beginning, but since now is now, then now.
you said she is jealous of you making new friends, what else?
that's the kind of thing you need to put a stop to early on, and make it clear that it is unacceptable behaviour from her, and that you will do your own thing.
if she doesn't change within a few months, on critical issues, then it might not be resolvable.
no idea how much of something is normal, best bet is to talk with someone older who you know, and who isn't in the circle at all.
it's good to bounce thoughts back off someone once in a while, so you can gauge what is normal.
well here I guess I'll lay it out a bit
she's missing confidence and independence. I've realized there's nothing that I love more than a confident woman and she's just not that. she's not terribly unsure of herself but she requires a lot of my encouragement. she is also very insecure and jealous which has caused a lot of issues with our relationship
she's missing intelligence. she's not dumb at all, she's going to school and doing reasonably well. I just find we can't have conversations about some things that I'd like to be able to in a relationship
I'm missing experience. I sometimes miss dating and the thrill of the hunt, the feeling when you're talking with someone new and it's going well... but that could really just be a grass is greener thing and I realize it's likely caused by the fact that I didn't do much of that in high school and got into a serious relationship right away
she's missing a family like mine. family is important to me and I honestly don't like most of her family. I feel bad faulting her for it because she really can't choose but we come from completely different classes and levels of quality of upbringing and sometimes it really shows or makes things difficult for either one of us
she has never once in my life made me cry from laughing. don't get me wrong, she has a great sense of humour but it's just not particularly advanced or clever. she's funny and she also thankfully laughs at almost all of my jokes but sometimes I have to really force myself to laugh at hers or I don't at all and she gets offended.
uh there's more but I'm taking too long already
for every downfall she has there are also reasons why I love her and am with her, though
I'm not sure, that's the thing! part of me thinks 70% might be normal and part of me thinks I can do better. again it comes down to not having enough experience to know
also I'm talking just about the relationship
my life is honestly 100%. I LOVE my life and and so grateful
Well, those are some important things.
Having the same kind of humour is something I find really important, being able to laugh together every day and not even have to say a word.
Intelligence is also important for me.
Confidence and independence can come with time, you'll see she will mature and become more confident in herself, especially if you are guiding her. Not certain, but it is a possibility.
Think of what parts of those things you can cover with your friends, and which parts you feel you really need with her.
Chances are, you won't find a girl with everything, but with a solid core, that's what you really need.
Someone you can trust and grow with over the years, who will be a good mother, who you will always feel comfortable around.
The jealousy thing is a problem I would say, and you feeling you have to pretend around her, even after 3 years.
Thrill of the hunt, well fill it with other things. Can't do that forever. Otherwise you'll be forever hunting and never sit down for a meal.
Still could go either way, like I said, no one can tell you. But if you think about it, and bounce it off a few people, you should have a better idea.
Aids/10
yeah I tried really early on to set the jealousy boundaries but it's honestly just the way she is. a few times now I've gotten pretty serious and said I can't go on if it continues but it still does despite her promising that she's "working on it." it's gotten BETTER but I can't tell if it's because she's actually changing or if she's just suppressing it because sometimes it honestly feels like she just snaps back to her old self like she's been just trying to hide it from me
she got mad the other day because my friend from work happens to call me the same nickname she does
she got mad last month because I was "too friendly" when we all went out with some friends of mine
shes gotten mad umpteen times about me liking (appropriate) insta pics of other girls
Show the tinder chick you can’t be that fucking retarded with the image search crop the picture you newfag
the laughter thing I deal with by having my friends around. they make me lose my shit laughing and I don't really need my GF to do that for me, it would just be a bonus. the only time it really detracts is when she makes a really tacky/shitty joke, especially in front of friends/family and it just doesn't hit. makes it awkward but I'd say that's only like 10-20% of her jokes
her confidence and independence has massively grown, but also massively in part due to my help. as a result I feel like she relies on me a lot. it's nice to feel needed and I like helping her but sometimes it's a bit much. I also worry about where she'd end up without me now, which I knoooow I'm not supposed to but I can't help it because I do care for this girl
I can absolutely trust her but I don't know exactly how I feel about her mothering my children. we have entirely different upbringings and therefore entirely different parenting styles that I think would clash badly. but financially she would be a great life partner, and happiness wise I know she would support me in my career goals, personal goals, etc.
are these friends of yours that she's jealous of all female?
does she become jealous of your male friends?
does she have male friends?
her low self esteem is likely the root of it, if you aren't doing anything flirtacious with the other girls, and if she is also jealous of your male friends.
meant to mention, what is her family like?
they are sometimes a big indicator of the girl, one way or another.
I watched a 1950s advice video some years ago which made a lot of sense.
It was talking about the difference between puppy love and real love.
Real love, lasting love and a long relationship was based on both having similar political views, humour, and some shared interests. Background is important.
It sounds like you want someone more balanced towards you, instead of you always being the most admired one.
this guy has a point OP
you should care about what would happen to her.
when i say you must make your own choices based on what you want, i don't mean ignore her.
but there should be a limit, so you don't make yourself miserable and live for another person.
that isn't really respecting her, it's sacrificing yourself.
if you feel you can have a happy life, then choose her. if you feel you won't be fulfilled with her, then end it. but your decision must be based on you, not your fears about her.
remember, she will mature as will you, so her capabilities of being a mother might bloom, she's only young too.
only you know about her family though, and if you see traits in her that are warning signs, then follow your gut/instinct.
better idea, each post I make I'll include a pic of one of my matches starting now
enjoy
>better idea
no it's not, because that is not your gf, nor the girl speaking in the OP image. you agreed to post for comparison
she is the angry/hostile kind of jealous toward all female friends. she is never that way with male friends but can sometimes get jealous of my time spent with male friends. the bigger issue overall certainly lies with female friends though
I don't flirt with other girls ever and we've both agreed it comes down to her self esteem and insecurity but she continues to try to blame me for things or guilt me, etc. unhealthy
I hate most of her family. disrespectful, lazy, unethical. some of them have good senses of humour which is the only reason I can tolerate being with them at all but I do feel very out of place around her family. I'm upper upper middle class and she's lower middle class and it shows
heavily photoshopped picture.
especially the eyes
take it or leave it homie, you can compare all these chicks to me gf if you want, but when it comes down to it I don't really care who's hotter. my GF is hot and a lot of girls who are interested in me are also hot. either way I'm winning in that regard and I'm confident I can find another hot girl if that's all I care about but I want more damnit
well said. I don't think I'd be miserable at all choosing her. I just think I'd be about as happy as I have been this whole time which is just happy enough to keep the relationship going but just unhappy enough to keep me wondering if I should be (I think that might be the best way I've put it so far lol)
true about the growth but my concerns really more come from ideas already embedded in her, mostly from her (relatively poor imo) upbringing
issa snapchat filter bro, just like dis
well, what do you think her personal potential is.
do you think she will remain always your understudy, and always limited by her upbringing? do you think she will show traits like her family once you are married?
do you think she's faking her personality.
it isn't good she is instantly hostile to female friends, or that she is jealous of time spent with male friends.
depends to what extent she is, how often, how easily and how angry she becomes.
you be the judge - but those are possessive traits and generally red flags, male or female.
of course, a little bit of jealously is normal, as long as you can reassure her in a minute with a kiss and that's that.
if you don't flirt at all and you've talked about it, it should have been settled.
if you feel she has really improved, maybe give it a time limit, a few months after having another talk about it if you think it is necessary.
but if she carries on the same, or it just pings in your head "i can't take this, she will never change", then that isn't enjoyable.
you don't want that for life.
find an older relative, or workmate, or friend of your dad and mention some things to them.
this girl is one of my favs for some reason. never dated a blonde before.
Probably a bot
>sudbury
subhuman trash
I don't think she's taking her personality at all. she is very genuine. but I do think she really needs me an relies on me a lot to get things done whereas I'm VERY independent.
nail right on the head with all the jealousy stuff. we've talked and talked and it honestly at the core doesn't feel any different. I literally told her two days ago "I'm not doing this again" when she tried to bring up a petty argument about me liking a completely normal picture of a mutual friend. I caught myself saying I can't deal with this forever.
I'll try to seek out some more people. I spoke briefly about the jealousy stuff with my dad but we concluded that all women are jealous and that it's really hard to tell what is normal and not normal since they can be pretty unpredictable
haha
didn't notice the ears at first.
think about whether for you she is irreplaceable.
difficult thing to know, and might only realise it when she's gone.
if you don't feel the relationships is going anywhere, or you want to be on your own, then consider ending it.
i wouldn't recommend ending it just to try out other girls though, just if you know you don't want to be with her.
the jealousy thing isn't healthy, long term especially.
as for her family/upbringing, sometimes people rise up from their families and want to be the best they can be. is she like that?
>visiting Sup Forums
>having morals
Pick one user. In the end do ehat you want. If you could juggle both discreetly then all the better. We all gon die anyways so who cares if you cheat. Nothing matters
nah we've been talking for days
hahahhahaha you're not wrong, that's why I left
women are generally crazy and emotional, it just depends to what extent she is, and whether you find it acceptable
talk with more people, men who have been married for a while and have a decent life. your dad's friends might have some insight.
but don't just accept negative things, unless you are willing to live with them forever.
do you feel you love her?
sneaky girls know it makes them look more attractive at a glance
and honestly yeah I wouldn't have a clue unless we broke up and I realized it. there are a good amount of things I love about her that I literally have NO IDEA if I would have in other relationships. I don't know if these things are special or not.
as for the family thing yes she is distancing herself and wants to be different from them, but only in some ways. in other ways she cares not
I mean that's one way to look at it but I'm not trying to juggle both. id hate myself lol
dad's friends are inaccessible to me but I have talked with a couple of my older married friends. most seem to think she's too emotional but they also don't want to steer me into any decision. they've given me similar advice to what I've received here... that its up to me and how I feel and they and you are not wrong
I haven't accepted any of the negatives
I do love her but I'm not /in love/ with her
one thing i'd recommend, if you break up with her, spend some time alone for a while.
focus on yourself and your own life.
when you've had some time alone, months or however long, then meet a girl in real life, not on the internet. see if you have an initial spark within the first few dates.
the internet tends to mask a lot, and people pretend about some parts of themselves, maybe that continues in the relationship too.
you could maybe try going on a trip by yourself for a few weeks, even if it is a work or study trip
being alone and away from her might make you think more clearly about it.
also, do you live with her?
moving in with someone and seeing them day by day can put pressure on and reveal parts of people within a few weeks.
maybe test things that way, without it being a forced test.
never been in love with her?
do you share interests, activites, hobbys, sports?
what do you do together
Yea, no its not
Its ok, hes just roleplaying
yes, yes it really is lmao
Keep posting random pictures to prove it to random people online then
if I do break up I'd like to be alone for a while, then spend a while dating for fun with no serious intentions... and maybe really just keep at that for a while. I'm really not in a rush and if a girl I'm genuinely interested in happens to fall into my lap then I'd pursue her, yanno?
a trip isn't feasible right now unfortunately and she'd also message me every day if I did go which wouldn't allow me to spend that time reflecting.
with that said I'm actually away from her now and have been away for almost a week which is why I've been able to take this time even now to think
I don't live with her (thankfully, as that would massively complicate things)
have you ever gone on a trip with her?
for a couple of weeks, doing anything.
even staying at your relative's house somewhere.
it might give you some insight.
what do your male friends think of her?
I'm genuinely curious as to why you bother
honestly it proves just as much nothing as this nude of my gf does so who cares
do you have any aspirations that you think she would slow you down or prevent you from doing?