ITT: Ask a drunken 32 year old virgin anything

ITT: Ask a drunken 32 year old virgin anything.

y

cause alcohol

This

alcohol is the sole reason you are a virgin? Alcohol has facilitated me getting laid many times.

Come on bro. I'm not even attractive, am alcoholic, and 200 lbs, and small dick but I still pull some smash once and awhile. Elaborate, we are here to help bro.

For real. Has OP been to college?

Come on, OP. Don't blow us off, we need answers

Yes. Bachelors, masters, PhD dropout.

No, I just have turned to alcohol lately.

I've been an introvert for most of my life. I stay hope & don't meet people. I should change this, but don't know how.

What was the closest you've ever gotten to actually losing it?
Have you largely given up on actually bothering to pursue relationships or opportunities to get laid?

Why don't you just get a hooker?

I met a girl on /soc/ in 2012 that I know would have fucked me. The gist of our relationship is that we were two broken people and more often than not, that doesn't work out.

I want to make an effort this year now that I have my finances together. At least go out on a few dates.

>No, I just have turned to alcohol lately.
And? I've been an alcohol for 16 years and I'm doing just fine

USA. Illegal except for certain places in Nevada, about 2000 miles away from me.

You probably go out a lot more than me.

It's not about you, Steven.

Why don't you save up money and fly to Europe for a vacation and get laid there?
Who knows maybe you'll get lucky and will find someone you won't have to pay...

Well, I have no major social issues, so probably.

I'm getting a D&D campaign together, and I'm grateful to have a bizarre combination of character races/classes. So I was wondering
>what's your favorite D&D Race and/or Class?

Well, fuck, you know my first name.

So it sounds like you've been waiting "for the right one"? Are you religious? Waiting for marriage? This ain't a fucking Disney flick or some shit. If you got a damn masters, as you say, and still can't get laid, so must have a serious social problem or are ugly? Be honest.

Op, just never forget that girls like dick as much as you like pussy.

Burn

Show me how you look at 200 lbs. I'm also at 200 lbs but I don't look that fat

What are you drinking?

The thought has crossed my mind. I'm finally in a position where I can save money to do something fun, so I do want to do something with it.

I'm actually starting a new campaign next week. Generic, but I'm going to play an Elf Ranger. I like ranged characters.

Listen bro just play it cool, become a very religious person and say to the girl that you have been waiting for the right one, otherwise it will be seem weird when you tell her u are old af and still a virgin, also never use condoms they suck

What are you drinking tonight?

I think I was waiting for the 'right one' at one point in my life, but now my problem is that I've spent so much time alone I don't know how to change it. I'm not religious or waiting for marriage.

Maker's Mark.

You playing 5E? It's fuckin' dope.
And there's nothing wrong with that, classics are classic for a reason.

I am! I'm excited, 5th it looks like it's what 4th edition was trying to be. Most of the games I've played were 3.5.

wait don't girls play d and d?

I'd love to fuck an elf. Are you just not into what classes they are playing or what?

OP out. I need sleep. I'll check this tomorrow if I can find an archive.

Hope you have a good ol fashion wet dream of your waifu.

Europe is what you should do. Be brave take months off and learn to be cool, bang all the bitches

Will you be making a movie once you're 40

Whats your Spell cast list?

Dude I really don't wanna take a pic. Do you think it would help you out? I'm muscly but have an awkward body. Back fat. Alcoholic gullet. Still get play. All about confidence. Maybe some humor strewn about.

why don't you quit drinking alcohol and use the money to get a hooker?

tits or gtfo

Do you think you'll just give up and become a wizard in eight years?