Im 29 and I have never had sex

Im 29 and I have never had sex.

Should I just lose my V card to a stripper? I was considering getting an escort but there are too many risks:
>bait and switch advertisements
>fake pictures
>possibly a set up to get myself robbed or arrested
at least with strippers you can inspect the merchandise before fucking it and you know they are definitely not cops.

Also need to know how I would go about asking a stripper for sex.

You're going to need a lot of cocaine.

just have sex with a sponge and a glove in a cup

>they are definitely not cops.
as far as I know it's not illegal to pay a woman to make a porno with you. Just film this shit and it's not prostitution.

sauce and moar plz

>Should I just lose my V card to a stripper?
Lol that's not how that works. You would be very fucking hard presses to find a stripper willing to fuck. There's a reason they strip and not hook.

Stripper will ask for a grand to fuck, then blow you with a condom on until you cum and leave, if you are a virgin probably wont take long.

don't do it, it will ruin your confidence

No, you're wrong, they fuck people in most places, but it is expensive...

user do you have an idea how much this will cost? What city do you live in?

A lot of them hook. Usually find within 15 minutes lol

I fucked a hooker rather than wait for the first time I could trick a girl into having sex with me...would have been a virgin until I was like 21, was worth it.

Just b urself :^)

Beat me OP!

> 33
> Male
> Dutch
> Lived abroad from 4-18 (my dad was offered a job to go abroad)
> Lived in Saudi Arabia (my dad worked in telecommunication)

> Never smoked
> Never drank alcohol (I once smelled beer, it smelled aweful, therefore I have this idea all alcohol is disgusting)
> Never tried drugs
> Never had sex

> Never gone out at night
> Never been to a house party (like those teen movies)
> Never been to a bar / pub
> Never been to a club / disco (not even the school disco, my parents never allowed me)
> Never been to an event (football / concert / queen's night party / queen's day)

> Never had any friends
> Always a loner
> Always isolated
> Did not have any peers to interact with (my dad had a high position within the company, therefore we lived privately)
> Was not allowed to bring people over (not even for school projects)

> Never interacted with girls my age
> Never touched girls my age
> Never talked to girls my age
> Never kissed girls my age

> Never allowed to have a TV in my room
> Never allowed to have a stereo in my room
> Never allowed to have a PC in my room
> Never allowed to have a console in my room
> Never allowed to put up poster and stick anything on the walls

My parents always used guilt tricks on me.
My parents were very strict with me.
I was never able to develop my own identity.
I was never able to go through puberty
My parents thought that puberty was a myth and an excuse for teenagers to misbehave.

Returned to NL when I was 18 after I finished my IB.
Went to Uni but was not allowed to live in student housing.
I had to choose a Uni close to home and travel each day.
After Uni I found a job that allowed me to work from home.
I moved out 1 year after finishing Uni when I was sure my job was stable.

Where I live it costs like $1000 to fuck one of the hot strippers.

you don't "wait" for the first time you have to INITIATE it.

now that you live alone, you can pay dutch hookers to fuck you user

...right, well, I had to wait until the first time I was able to initiate it correctly you fucking underage.

I'm a recluse, I barely go outside.
Also going to a hooker, no thanks.

Look at fucking Schlomo Saberstein here with the legal advice

you don't wait for opportunities either, you actively seek them. the only thing that stops you from being able to get laid is yourself.

you are so pathetic lol. give me some of your money ill show you how to use it

I believe you really are a virgin because a stripper would be the least likely female willing to fuck you.

Look for a hooker on Backpage, something in the mid $200-300 range and explain what you want. Some of them love to provide an educational experience.

>We did this for one of my frat bros, 5 of us chipped in for his $400 v-card birthday special and two of us got a complementary handy after.

don't blame your parents for you be socially awkward with the opposite sex. work out, go to clubs/bars and get rid of that introvert attitude

don't use CL. most of the ads are robbery traps.

Go to tinder or craigslist and find someone.

I have no valid reason for going out the door.
I'm old
My best years are behind me.
There is no tail for me out there.
There is no tail without kids are a divorce to their name.

Ignore tinder! Tinder only works for people that are near supermodel level of beauty.

Well it worked for me....
Guess I'm pretty good looking then

If you ask a stripper for sex the bouncer will throw your ass out. There is no sex in the champagne room. The club can get busted if it even looks like thats happening so they are very strict

Nah.

Truth is, let it be known.
It can't have any power over you if you do..
No one will have the wrong impression..
You don't have to hide or cover it with fakeness.

Get on a dating site.
Wing it.
You can only fuck up your first time, once.
So, go fuck it up.

Just don't go rape and murder anyone about it..
Late bloomer virgins have some fucked up pent up tensions.

Also, don't fall instantly in love with a girl if you fuck them. I mean, you will. No matter what. But dont.

tl:dr

33, M, Dutch.
(loud and clear buddy.)

How can you tell when a Dutchman is an extrovert? He gazes at other people's shoes more than his own.

Do you understand the fucking english language, the term "wait" here does not mean I am waiting around. If you are trying to complete a task to get a thing, let's say get a cookie, you have to get the fucking cookie before you can eat it, you need to wait until you complete that task correctly before you can fucking eat the cookie you dumb fucking retard.

you do know males outnumber females on tinder 5/1 including all the fake profiles.