I am in trouble guys. My boss watched the security footage and noticed I grab my penis through my pants at work alot...

I am in trouble guys. My boss watched the security footage and noticed I grab my penis through my pants at work alot. He confronted me about it and u told him I had itch dick. I think all the girls I work with know. They are acting weird. Should I just shoot myself in the bathroom? I am afraid they will put dick touchin on my work record and I'll be known as the dick touch guy

are you by any chance indian?

Were you like sitting down? Hidden at all?

No I would be standing at the cash register or walking around the store.

I can tell by your apparent stupidity that you must be a niggity noggins. Well don't worry negro beans, you're still far ahead of most of your race just by having a job. In fact, just being black qualifies you for plenty of job opportunities in cuckold America, and even if you don't want to work, saying you're NOT qualified for a job entitles you to free housing and food stamps! All you have to do is learn to read, and then get in contact with the right government agencies and all your niggity noggity worries will be over. I'd tell you to give your family the good news but if you have a family you've probably only met the mother.

No :( I'm white so I can't claim oppression

You work at target huh

Probably cause you're giving everyone that, "do you know a secret about my penis?," stare.

No but it's basically the same thing

Oh, a WHITE penis toucher? When being a stupid nigger isn't your default excuse, you're kind of fucked. Being white and a penis toucher means people will think you're a rapist or molester. You will end up on the sex offender registry either way. Your life is completely ruined. Enjoy your white privilege, you're about to get Americucked.

Sometimes I get hard so I rub it against the counter while checking out customers but they can't see

I don't even have shotguns named Rachel and MacKenzie :(

See thats where youre wrong kiddo. Touching your penis is different than the ol hand in pocket and fire a rocket technique. Trust me i know.

I meant the place I work is basically the same as Target

It's just a stupid department store job man, you only touched your own dick so it doesn't matter. If they give you shit for it just quit the job and go work somewhere else. It's not that difficult my dude.

this chick i work with calls people weird and gross and blah blah in that whiney kinda teasing but serious way. "eeeeewww" kind of talk from time to time. typical 19 year old extrovert shit.

thing is she is known for picking her nose and wiping her nose randomly every damn day she works. 1. she doesn't see anything wrong with it. 2. she doesn't realize how she actually comes off and that everyone knows.

Bro marshalls sucks ass. Trust me i know

But they'll tell my new employers I'm a penis toucher. Noone likes a penis touching guy. I used to get naked and Jack off in the woods then a couple old hunters found me and berated me and made me jerk off and eat my own semen. They took pictures and I already live in constant fear of those surfacing. This might be too much

Damn dude thats sad. I used to work at an ace hardware and got fired for jizzing in the potted plants.

They legally can't tell your new employers that.

Oh but hey, try not being retarded and you might not have to live with these worries.

Are you jewish? Did that really happen. I hope I'm not alone. People don't understand how hard it is to not touch my penis

You don't have to put your current workplace on your CV you know. Besides, I think the whole jacking off naked in a public space might be more of a trouble than touching your dick through your pants, atleast you can use the dick itch excuse there.

What do I do when my penis gets throbbed

Im gay but thank you. I know how it goes man. Ive worked at dollar general for two days now and im coping.

I would jerk off in the woods. I did alot of dumb shit I filmed myself sitting so I could see the poop come out of my butt. I used to jerk off at sleepovers and cum on my friends while they slept.

Yeah i get the feeling. One time i was working a la curacao and i made a fake punani out of the sofa cushions and a store bag. Shit was cash. Bust a nut and took the bag and swung it like mutha fuckin David and tonto and tossed a clear four meteres

I think the stupid job might be the least of your worries. Were you born retarded or was it something that just happened over time?

If your penis is huge then that might be why your boss noticed, because he's gay af. Has anybody else said anything about you grabbing your junk a lot?
>Should I just shoot myself in the bathroom?
kek

>dick touch guy

kek