I'm a former victim of child sex abuse and CP...

I'm a former victim of child sex abuse and CP. Ask me anything (Drawings with rabbit are doodles I made that aid in my recovery)

Did it feel good op?

No it didnt. Not in the slightest. In fact, combined, it was the worst feeling I could have experienced as a kid. I think its the same for all abused kids.

When did you get over it?

What'd they do. Grab your balls?

male or female?

That's the thing...Although I feel better about what happened, I've never been able to fully connect the dots mentally and mend my emotional scars. More than anything, it was the genital touching that hurt most of all.

Did it turn you gay? Do you want to molest children now too?

Do you think this thread will also aid your recovery...?

You should draw more graphically.

I was photographed initially by a member of a band my relative was a part of years ago. The pics mainly focused on my anus and balls, and were zoom photos. This then led into wider acts that eventually resulted in stuff like sodomy at age 12

Male, but I use a female rabbit in my drawings. Still dont know why...

If it can provide me with some kind of outlet, then yes...it certainly can.

Because you feel weak, you see females as weak, and you use the female image to express your emotional state. It's a caricature of you.

It had no overall effect on my attraction to adults or my orientation, but honestly Ive learned to appreciate the male figure a lot more than I thought I would.

I really admire your insight. Its heartwarming, in a weird way...

My my, sexy little rabbit.

Dude....no....

A little butt fuckin, hmmm?

You seem to be the one that needs help here man, not me. And to think I thought my problems were bad....Jesus...

So you are male, and your abuser was male?
Do you think you would have felt differently if it was a female?

>
>I really admire your insight. Its heartwarming, in a weird way...
It's from Ted Kaczynski's manifesto, sent out when he blew up all those people. Feeling weak is the first step to liberal ideas and liberalism. You feel weak, then choose a group to identify with which you also feel is weak. You then try to protect this group, even when you yourself don't belong to it.

Idk if you're becoming a liberal, but that's why people identify with women, minorities, etc even when they themselves are not one of those classes.

Well, I've often thought about it, and honestly I think that It wouldnt have felt as bad, but it certainly may have implantes misogynistic thoughts in my head, at one level or another. Shoulda woulda coulda I suppose...

Dude... Yes!

tfw no father and son bonding

I hope you find the strength to work through your problems user.

I do consider myself a liberal actually. Not in any negative way though. But thats just me.

Not all but everyones experience is different

I hope so as well, man. I think I will sometime in the future, but not as yet...

Try emdr therapy its brilliant

Some people have said that it felt good to them when they experienced it. I dont doubt that, but as soon as they realize what happened, it fucks them up internally.

I love this artist

Ive read about it. I'm sure it can help me. Thank you :)

Yeah, cute lil' cunny.

Oh, I'm sorry. God bless.

From the time I was 3-5 I was sexually abused by a close family member.

Other family members brushed it off in order to not make the others feel bad.

Of coarse this is something I speak to my gfs about and one in particular in highschool decided to tell everyone about it when she was breaking up with me. Spent a few months getting dragged out of my classes by counselors and police trying to force me to make a case.

Basically told everyone to chill out and fuck off.

They forced me to stay back a grade, claiming I was mentally unfit to move forward, my mother agreed, basically they smashed all the shit down on me for some reason.

Busted my ass and graduated everything, 3.3gpa in college or higher, yeah it's not the greatest but I'm proud.

Now I'm working a good and stable job.

In short, you have to get the fuck over it and be productive.

At this rate, all I see you doing is drawing cocks on animals. Go study, build, think, play learn. Keep yoursekf preoccupied before this all swallows you.

What makes you think I'm not being productive with my life? The drawings I did are something that I made on the side. Dont presume anything user.

I had it for 2 yrs every 2 weeks. Not to deal with the "abuse" but bcoz i was emotionally stuck at age 12 and couldn't process like a adult should. It lead me to do terrible things that i deeply regret and ive paid the price for. But the emdr therapy was the first step to being normal again.

Im happy for you

You're taking the ravings of a lunatic like kaczynski as fact? Okayy dude

Your drawings are clearly a biproduct of what happened to you. You are the bunny.

Maybe it's a coping mechanism, but it looks to me like you don't want to let it go. You would think you would show the fox in a more humiliating light to give you the power over it to make you feel better.r

Basically, you like this attention, you like being dominated, and by the looks of it, you daydream about someone forcing a big dick in you.

I hope in time you can come to terms with what happened and ur able to find the strength to move on.

No comment...

Thank you, user. I wish you all the best...

I don't deserve to be wished the best but thank you.

Naaahhh...you deserve the best. It's the least I can do.

You let people see right through you and that's why they take advantage of you.

You are just a random person on the internet to me. And I really don't care. I really don't care if you take my advice either.

But if you want to be okay, you need to stop reinviting yourself to those past memories. You say you are productive but maybe you didn't get what I meant. You drawing these may be "productive" but it's resurfacing.

Take up a new hobby, read a book that's not erotic, buy a motorcycle and go cruise, free yourself from all this shit.

Me personally, I bought books to educate myself.it wasn't even topics I was familiar with, anything and everything.

Do something.

Julie is all I want to have at this point...She truly understands me...

pic or it didn't happen

There are pics....nowhere legal..

this, op is a victim, but still a fag nonetheless

Have you seen them?

So they have been shared? Are you ever scared someone who has seen them might recognize you walking down the street? Idk if my ones were ever shared i try not to think about it

Why am I a fag exactly? I couldnt have stopped the rape and abuse

Its a big world user...I dont think about it that much...

Yeah, I've seen a few of them on the dark web. I sat there and cried a bit when I realized that people globally were fapping to me as a child.

see the post I'm quoting, you even responded to it

im really sorry for what you experienced but i dont think Sup Forums is the right place for you. dont know if you got somebody to talk to but imo that would be the most important thing right now.

You say small world i was on holiday in another country and i came face to face with one of "johns" i used to be sent too

I dont need anyone...All I need is Julie. She talks to me. She understands me because she's been a victim as well. She knows me as I know her. She visits my dreams. The rabbit is the key to my happiness.

..i dont know what to say but please get some help

I've seen very very few videos like that. I could count the number of times on one hand. If you not only managed to find cp online, but you specifically managed to find your extremely obscure, many years old videos, you had to have specifically been looking for them. Admit it, you were actively looking for child exploitation videos.

I don't need help. I need Julie.

>she visits my dreams

Dude get some therapy i don't mean to sound rude but that statement just rings alarm bells

where are you from?

Im with you on that point of view its not easy to find stuff like that unless you look for it or know where to look

She wouldnt like that very much. Sometimes I see her crying in a corner, begging me to touch her...Often I oblige, other times, I cant go through with it. Then she screams at me...calls me a woman.

Yeeaaahhh alarm bells a ringing!

either this is premium bait or advanced insanity

Why do you want to know?

statistics
Sup Forums and traumatized ppl

I'm not lying to you. This is how I view the world around me. Sometimes I give into it. Sometimes she bleeds all over. Sometimes I cry with her. Its all really there.

then its frustrating to know that i cant help you and you wont get any therapy.

I live up north...Thats all I'm going to give you.

You dont need to help me, thank you. All I need is Julie. She likes it when I touch her secret place.

Premium bait

fuck off that was too much to be true

I’m naming my new band Anus and Balls. Thanks, OP

I wouldn't lie to you, user.

Do what you want.

ITT tumblr chatroom