Buckle up faggots, we're going to have a story time from my child hood before
I moved to the city.
>Be me, 15, in the deep south with nothing going on.
>Be in the woods with dumb redneck cousin, we've been drinking and smoking.
>Things start to unfold and it involved a lead pipe, a shotgun, and some dank bitches.
Continue?
Lead pipes are always fun
>We're having a good time to start with, but it starts devolving very fast.
>Before the shit hits the fan we're all just chilling.
>In the deep south you burn your garbase in a bug ass cistern.
>We we're burning shit and smoking/drinking
>Weed was shit, beer was shit (bud ice), but it got us high so what ever.
>We're chilling by the river on this old shitty cast iron bench.
>Me, my cousin, his two sisters, there friends, and my sister.
>We're passing this lone blunt around trying to stretch it between us all.
>The chuckle fucks we're getting stoned out of there minds.
>I was just glad we had beer, weed didn't do shit for me.
>Time passes cousin suggests we do something else to get more entertainment.
Continue?
...
Anyone interested?
if it involves some kind of incest orgy in the woods, yeah, I'll give it a fap
Not incest, but does end very nice.
>Cousin goes back to truck.
>Deep south everyone has a truck.
>Pulls out his 12 gauge and various shells
>Has everything from homepressed rock salt to slugs.
>Start firing the gun off
>Start blowing shit up with the slugs and 00 buck.
>At first it's fine, dudes blowing away stack of beer cans with the buck shot.
>Then it's rocks and trees with the slugs.
>Then the chicken fucker gets the brilliant idea to start shooting the rock salt at us.
>Shit goes down hill faster than a sack of turds thrown into the river with a cinderblock attached.
>The girls are shitting themselves with fear.
>I mean these bitches will not shut the fuck up.
>Fucking real time trailer trash shit going on right now at this point.
>Talking about how there going to die, parents will know there high, etc...
>There faggot friend, this real gay douchebag (we'll call him dick), start running around crying.
>Dick won't shut the fuck up as my cousin is doing this.
>Starts talking about he'll do anything to make it stop.
>Fucker is blubbering on and on about how he wants to live, etc...
>This all just makes my cousin get off more.
>The dude was one of those muscle headed douche bags.
>Cut like hell but dumb as a rock.
>Shit is starting to piss me off by this point.
Continue?
yeah man go for it
You don't need to say cont after each post. But please, continue.
>Fucker keeps firing off rock salt at us
>If you've never been shot with that shit before it really smarts but doesn't do damage.
>Still hurts like a mother fucker.
>Stupid fucker doesn't see us all getting pissed at him.
>Or he didn't care because he had a gun.
>And was high as a kite
>...still not sure which.
>I take off around back of his house.
>Go into the shed and grab a pipe that was laid up against the wall.
>Thinking back on this, could have probably just grabbed a phone
>Or went in the house and slept
>But that did not cross my mind at this point in time.
>Come back around to the yard where the burn is happening with my dumb fuck cousin still shooting the gun
>Tell him to stop.
>Faggot calls me a pussy.
>Mother fucker has a gun but I'm a pussy for getting in his face.
>Sure dude whatever you say.
>This chilly dicking continues
>Start to get really pissed
>Fucker fires off another rock salt shell
>This one really hurts
>Probably the rage bringing me out of my drunken stupor
>Throw the pipe and knock him in the face with it.
>Dude crumples like a sack of potatoes.
>Faggot has the nerve to get pissed at me.
>Starts screaming at me from the group.
>Stupid fuck dropped the gun though thank god.
Continue?
...
>Kinda shocked that this actually worked.
>Wait way longer than I should have.
>I rush over to grab the shotgun and the shells
>Fucker is shocked that I threw the pipe at him
>Even more shocked that he crumpled like a cheap paper bag
>That or he was just so wasted he didn't know what was going on.
>Fucker gets up right as I get to the gun and throws a punch.
>Lands me square on my ass because I'm also drunk as fuck.
>Just remember being shocked he did it.
>IDK why i just knocked his block off with a lead pipe.
>See pipe next to me.
>Grab it.
>Stand up and tell him if he doesn't stop this shit I'm going to knock his head off.
>Was dead serious but I think he thought I was joking.
>Keeps talking mad shit.
>Calls me a kike piece of shit (dumb mother fucker looked more jew then me).
>Tell him he fat piece of shit mother should have aborted him.
>Must have hit a nerve because he goes to throw another punch.
>I swing the pipe and connect with his right shoulder.
>Knocks him on his ass
>Pussy is rolling around saying it's dislocated and how he has to go to the hospital.
>All I can think is that I'm glad I missed his head.
>Could have killed him.
>Would still be in prison if it connected.
>While he's blubbering I grab the shotgun and the shells and back away.
>Tell this stupid piece of shit that he needs to calm the fuck down.
>Tell him I don't know whats in the shutgun, but it's heading his way.
>Tells me I don't have the balls to do it.
>I really didn't, but he didn't need to know that.
>Starts charging me.
>I'm in disbelief at this point.
>Guy must have a death wish.
>Refrain from pulling the trigger initially.
>Right as he goes to throw another punch I crack him in the face with the butt of the gun.
>Falls to the ground again
>Nose broken
>Dazed
>I hold the gun to his head and tell him to calm the fuck down.
>Starts trying to act all big shot.
>Starting thinking I really should kill this sack of shit.
>Pull back the hammer of the gun.
>Thinking to my self
>"Am I really going to do this?"
>Pussy out and just whip him with the barrel and knock him out.
>Throw the gun on the ground
>Everyone surrounds me
>Asks if I killed him.
>Say no and go to crack open another beer.
>Me and Dick decide to drag him into his bed and deal with him in the morning.
>I get the brilliant idea to take his truck.
>We go into town looking for all kinds of shit.
so what 12 gauge shotgun do you have exactly that has a hammer that you can pre cock? whatever, I didn't expect it to be a real story anyway, is there any cousin fucking at all or what?
Dis pretty good.
>My slutty female cousins know of this bar where they don't ID
>Thinking back they probably worked the glory holes there
>I grew up in the AIDS capital of the state I was in
>So much nasty
>Too drunk to care
>We roll up in that bitch like we own the place.
>Dick runs off to do god knows what.
>Probably to go suck some guy off in the bathroom for 20 bucks.
>I roll up to the bar
>Obviously underage
>The bar keep gives 0 shits.
>Ask for a jack and coke.
>Hand him his 5 dollars for the drink.
>Survey the room.
>The whole place is filled with underage pussy ripe for the picking.
>See hot chick in the back corner playing billards
>Decide to roll on over and try my luck.
>Shes dumb as a sack of bricks but has tits for days.
>Ass isn't bad either.
>Start to talk her up and buy her a few drinks.
>Things progress well.
>Very well.
>She's starting to play with belt buckle in the middle of the bar.
>Time to head out to the truck.
anything single shot. everyone has one where I'm from. No incest because this isn't fantasy you weird piece of shit.
If there's not a pinecone being screwed into your ass, I dont care.
Continue pls op
a WHAT
look out everyone. We have an edge lord here.
...
When do we get to the part where your uncle makes you squeal like a pig?
>We're in the bed of my cousins shitty truck
>Bitch can't contain her self for a few minutes
>Starts trying to rip my pants off
>Didn't even do anything all that insane
>Just talked with her
>I didn't care
>I was 15, horny, and way beyond wasted to give 2 fucks.
>Start to help and play along.
>Pants come off
>Panties come off
>Tits are out
>AND....
>I can't get hard to save my own life
>15 year old me's dick decided that today of all days he was gonna call in sick.
>Start slapping at it trying to get it to wake up
>Failing miserably
>Girl is visibly bored and pissed I'm wasting her time.
>Suggest I give her oral to get things going
>Actually look at the pussy I was about to fuck
>MFW THANK CHRIST MY DICK DID NOT WORK
>Shit looked like week old milk mixed with bad cheese
>Smelt even worse
>Sprint out of the truck and try to get my pants back on as fast as I can.
>Realize I left that bitch there.
>Go back and kick her out before heading into the bar.
>Try and wrangle my cousins, sister, and Dick.
>Shit is just going south all over the place.
>Cousins are passed out in the corner with dudes.
>Sister is looked completely out of place and scared.
>But
>Dick is no where to be seen.
I ain't left yet, just didn't think there would be interest so only typed up 4 posts worth.
Goddamnit this is gonna take forever.
>Wrangle everyone else up.
>Have to smack my cousins a couple of times to get them alert enough to talk.
>My sister is just ready to go
>So am I after my blue waffle experience.
>Still can't find Dick though.
>Decide we can't just leave him.
>Start a search.
>I decide to go and check the bath rooms for him since thats the only place he could reasonable be.
>Go into first bathroom I find.
>Get hit with this unbelievable stench.
>Some thing out of a septic tank
>Want to gag and throw up
>The excessive amounts of alcohol make this even harder to contain.
>Manage to keep it down.
>Start going from stall to stall
>"Dick, you in there? Pack it in it's time to go"
>I get a reply
>"Just one second"
>Hear another dude in there with him
>On this day my suspicions we're confirmed
>Dick really does like dick.
>Bust open the door.
>See Dick bent over the toilet taking it up the ass.
>Can't hold it back now.
>Puke all over there shoes.
>It fucking goes everywhere.
>Dick starts freaking the fuck out.
>All of the movement helps the other guy blow his load.
>It's leaking out of dick at an alarming rate.
>Once we finally get the fuck outta there
>And damn was it awkward to watch Dick pull out the dick and pull his pants up with a wad of toilet paper in between his cheeks
>We agreed to never speak of this again.
>I get everyone together.
>We get back in the truck.
>We drive home.
>We pass out in our beds.
Waited all that time for that op your a faggot
nice ending my ass
not done yet
keep going I'm enjoying this
>Wake up the next morning with the worst hangover ever.
>Male cousin busts into my room.
>Fucker is pissed
>Starts talking shit about how I stole his truck.
>Got his sisters nearly raped.
>Shit goes on for a while.
>Seems odly concerned about Dick though.
>Like he's in a relationship with him or something...
>Ask him about it.
>Dude goes paler than a ghost.
>Like I slit his throat or something.
>Sinks into himself.
>MFW realization hits me.
>Cousin is a fudge packer
>And apprently one thats been in the closet for a while.
>Sprints out of the room to go find Dick.
>I follow.
>Over hear Dick explaining how he got stretched at the Bar.
>See my cousin start to get visibly choked up.
>I'm dying at this point.
>See my cousin slap Dick and then walk away.
>Go talk to Dick afterward.
>Says my Cousin and him have been fucking for a while.
>My grin just gets bigger and bigger.
>Cousin portrayed the biggest homophobic personallity ever.
>Talked about lynching the gays.
>Fucker literally enjoys taking it up the ass.
>Turns out he bottoms.
>Thats why Dick went and found that dude.
>I made sure everyone around out small town knew.
>Cousin hung him self about a month after that.
>Shit went from 0-100 really quick.
Thats my story. If you didn't like it I'm cool with that, but you can all go suck monkey cock.
good night faggots.
ended abruptly due to needing to sleep for work. I may post again tomorrow and give a longer ending.
was decent gg op
I think you actually take dick and thought this shit story would make you less homo. Faggot
8/10
pretty fucking enjoyable
+rep top kek