I have an issue wiping my ass, since I was young I thought it was pointless...

I have an issue wiping my ass, since I was young I thought it was pointless...I could just take a shower or have my dog lick my butt...now I’m heavier it’s more that I can’t reach effectively....I wish my ass had no hair in it...still take three showers a day and will always own a dog.

unironically shave your butt crack if you are hairy

Ever shaved your ass? It’s hard and painful especially recovery.

yeah i did it but wasnt that hard I felt gay as fuck after ward

Lesson learned about shaving the groin and anus.

Don't shave close! Just gently dry razor it or use a trimmer to get the bush. Anything close is destined for irritation unless you make it a daily thing for the rest of your life.

take a fiber suppliment like metacil & your shit will come out so clean you won't have to wipe.

>take three showers a day
are really shitting 3 times a day?

Yes unless I take some anti diarrhea pills.

No lie I shit like 6 or 7 times a day

You have IBS-D.

I know cause I have it. It's only gonna get worse. I dealt with it for 6 years, then I eventually started shitting bile and mucus, I knew I had to do something.

Take the Metamucil & a probiotic instead of anti diarrhea pills

stay away from caffeine, greasy foods, fruits & vegetables. I stay away from soda from the fountain, greasy ass cheese and the skins of fruits and vegetables & I do fine.

if that doesn't help then you should see a gastroenterologist.

>or have my dog lick my butt
>and will always own a dog

mfw no one is batting an eye at this

>Pretty obviously a joke

No joke, it actually feels good to admit that...I literally feel better.

How fat are you??

280

this is Sup Forums so it doesn't surprise me

height?

5’11’’

Someone cap this shit. The man wipes his arse with a dogs fucking mouth!

I bet it’s pretty common

Hombre you're just lactose intolerant.

Samefag, no ones capping your autistic lie.

Poor dog, that is a job for your woman not your dog.

common? No, fuck no.

I bet it's the opposite of common. Never in all my 39 years of life have I heard of anyone letting their dog lick their shithole clean, let alone on a regular basis.

Nope, been tested for common food allergies and I have zero.

I little milk actually helps stiffen my bm up.

The stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

This is my current dog, why would you need to lie?

I just keep think about the fucken thought process of "why wipe my ass if my dog can lick my clean"

how the fuck do you not stink like shit and dog?

fuck me

Look most people have dogs lick them I bet a lot more have them lick their butts too, you are just providentially sheltered

>not posting a pic of said dog licking your shitter

Satan has spoken, I'm just providentially sheltered, everyone.

What!
WTF

It only took one time for my dad to point out to 6 yr old me how a dog licks its own ass and gents, then ask if I'd let that same dog lick me to realize that shit is gross.

Now you're telling me lots of people let their dogs lick their butts.

Wait, what country are you from? Please, say youre from a 3rd world country.

You can’t generalize me by my location...your Dad probably got his balls licked, felt guilty like me and made you hate all future dogs...even though their tongues are cleaner than ours

>dogs...even though their tongues are cleaner than ours
Not after licking anuses all day long.

I don't hate dogs, I just don't let them lick me or anything I want covered in fecal matter.

You’re probably a traumatized cat person

This guy figured it out.

>I have an issue wiping my ass,

This is how my service dog assists me.
AMA

What the actual fuck

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