You didn’t pay much attention when reports of a strange new virus started showing up on the news...

You didn’t pay much attention when reports of a strange new virus started showing up on the news. You also called the previous owners of your home crazy for burying a fallout shelter in your backyard…

In the beginning, the infection didn’t seem too serious. After all, the symptoms presented were nothing more than a little nausea, dizziness, and diarrhea. However, within three weeks, the first death was confirmed in Los Angeles. That is, if you can truly call it “death.” A few moments after they seem to close their eyes for the last time, they spring back open. The infected appear to be “dead” in almost every medical sense imaginable. No heartrate, no breathing, no measurable brain activity. This “after life” seems almost normal at first; except for the complete absence of an appetite and the fact that they seem unable to use or understand written or spoken language. Unfortunately, their mental wellness deteriorates rapidly. Within a week, they do not recognize their own friends and family and behave more irrationally by the day. Within a month, their behavior turns completely aggressive and they develop an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

Once the news reported that 15% of the country’s population was infected, you began stocking the fallout shelter with food and drinking water while the grocery stores were still well stocked. The government shut down public transportation after the second week of the outbreak in a quarantine effort, so your wife was unable to return from visiting her relatives on the west coast (You live in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA). After a month had passed and reports of cannibalism became widespread, you retreated to the bunker and haven’t emerged since. You have spent two months inside of your sanctuary at this point. You are out of water and have only a few cans of food left, so you decide that you have no choice but to venture outside and scavenge for supplies.

You gather up 2 cans of soup, an 8 inch fixed-blade knife, an empty canteen, and a baseball bat. There are more still supplies in the bunker you haven’t taken inventory of. Upon emerging from the shelter, everything seems quiet; no movement or sounds aside from birds chirping and the breeze blowing through the trees. It is about noon sometime in the middle of May, so you have quite a few hours of daylight and don’t need to worry about cold weather any time soon. Your house is in the middle of a cul-de-sac, with 2 houses surrounding you on either side. There is also an extensive suburban neighborhood surrounding the cul-de-sac. About a mile from your home, there is a shopping center that includes a grocery store, a hardware store, a Burger King, an ice cream shop, and a few other smaller shops you’ve never really noticed before. There is a high school 2 miles away, the police barracks 6 miles away, an airport 20 miles away, and a prison 24 miles away. You see your SUV untouched in the driveway, with your keys in your pocket.

Posts ending in 2, 7, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Posts ending in 27 trigger a good luck bonus.
Posts ending in 72 trigger a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

check the nearest house

Being in the center of the cul-de-sac, your two closest neighbors are pretty much equidistant. So you go to check on your neighbor Jim’s house. You know he is an avid hunter, so you suspect he might have guns, knives, camping equipment, and other useful stuff in his home. As you approach his front door you hear banging inside. Startled, you slump down under the front window to hide. The movement inside continues.

Next post ending in 5, 6, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 56 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 65 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

Peek through the window, looking for anything alive. If there's anything dangerous inside, attempt to lure it outside without it noticing you

Bang on the door to see what happens

use the bat to bang on the door

Op sucks dicks.

Good luck bonus: dog follower

You look through the window and see Jim's German Shepherd named Stogie sitting there. He seems excited to see you as he perks up and heads toward the door. His door is unlocked, so you step right in. The dog jumps all over you, excited to see another human. As you pet him, you notice that he is skin and bones. Jim's kitchen is right near the entrance, and you see a full bag of dog food in an open cupboard beyond Stogie's reach. You pour him a bowl of food and he starts devouring it. You wonder how Stogie managed to survive all this time couped up in the house with no food. At this point, you hear a sinister hissing coming from the basement. Stogie stops eating and growls at the door leading to the basement.

Being in the center of the cul-de-sac, your two closest neighbors are pretty much equidistant. So you go to check on your neighbor Jim’s house. You know he is an avid hunter, so you suspect he might have guns, knives, camping equipment, and other useful stuff in his home. As you approach his front door you hear banging inside. Startled, you slump down under the front window to hide. The movement inside continues.

Next post ending in 1, 3, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 13 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 31 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

Do i have any kind of weapon? A knife?

Whip out dick and pee on the window

From the second post, you have 2 cans of soup, an 8 inch fixed-blade knife, an empty canteen, and a baseball bat you salvaged from the fallout shelter. More inventory still left inside the shelter. You also now have a German Shepherd dog as a companion.

Fuck Stogie

Take a knife in the kitchen, get ready for combat and open the basement door, letting the dog go first.

Board up the door to the basement and check the rest of the house for guns and ammo.

Upon hearing the hissing from the basement, you nearly piss yourself. So you whip out your dick and begin pissing on the window you were just looking into. Your bladder is now empty and feel more confident about making your next move.

Next post ending in 2, 9, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 29 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 92 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

Fuck Stogie's ass

Did not read before posting . I´ll use my regular knife if the kitchen doesn´t have one.

Go to the bathroom and take a nice dump

Board up the window and check the goddamn house for guns and ammo.

Slather peanut butter on your dick and show it to Stogie

Answer me, OP!

Shit I meant door

I got 2 and 9 so overrule counts

Kek. Thanks OP, made my day.

Wait, so before the infection, i survived in Philadelphia? Too unrealistic.

OP is fag, won't continue

Yeh, just when this shit was getting kinda interesting

You rip up all the kitchen cupboards and parts of the hardwood floor to board up the door of the house. Stogie continues to growl at the door to the basement. You search the house and manage to find a slingshot which you place in your backpack carrying your other supplies. Unfortunately, you find no other weapons except for the additional knives in the kitchen. You're fairly sure Jim keeps his gun safe in the basement.

You decide to overcome your fear and head down to the basement. Stogie fallows you downstairs reluctantly. As you reach the bottom of the steps, you find Jim hanging from the ceiling, turned into a zombie. He must have hung himself once he realized he was infected. He must have committed suicide recently since there was not much decomposition on his body, explaining how Stogie was still alive. You shove your knife through his eye to show mercy. You turn to the corner of his basement, and find his gun safe wide open. Inside, you find three rifles with a total of 100 rounds. Nice!

Next post ending in 3, 8, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 38 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 83 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

The suburbs surrounding Philadelphia, inside of an underground fallout shelter stocked with food and water.

Have a threesome with Jim and Stogie

Snag the loot and haul ass to base. Afterwards, grab bike and pedal it to the nearest convenience store.

Go to the other house for supplies.

Go to the nearest house for supplies.

Stogie begins sniffing Jim's corpse, no doubt still hungry for real fresh meat after being hungry for so long. His primitive nature kicks in and Stogie begins humping Jim. After spending 2 months underground with no human contact, you are aroused by this sight. Fuck it, your wife's on the other side of the country and it's the end of the world anyway. As Stogie humps away, you mount him and forcibly shove your cock inside his asshole. He yelps but continues humping away at Jim. You manage to get close enough to Jim's dead, rotting face to give him a kiss and suck his gang green nipples. This sensation causes you to bust inside Stogie's ass. You unmount Stogie and slump into the corner of the basement, in disbelief with what you have done. Stogie sits there licking your jizz out of his asshole.


Next post ending in 2, 9, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 29 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 92 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

Take supplies and dog. Then go to nearest house.

head to the grocery store

Oh I am awaiting this....

Quaaaaadddsssss

You forget the horrid incident that just took place and take Stogie, the loot and the sams club bag of dog food to base. Then save your progress.

Come on, OP!

Kiss Stogie in the mouth and go to the nearest house

Shit on the ground and start eating it.

Lube up stogies thicc dog ass

Checked!

You decide your threesome with a dog and a rotting corpse is nothing to dwell upon under these apocalyptic circumstances. You get up from the corner, take Jim's guns and ammo, and call Stogie to follow you. You pry off the barricade you made on the front door of Jim's house and head toward the next house on this side of the cul-de-sac: Brian and Carol's house. A young couple in their late 20's who recently had a baby. As you approach their house, you hear nothing suspicious, so you try to open their door. It is unlocked. The foyer is dark. You see their kitchen to the right, a door to your left, and a dark hallway straight ahead.

Next post ending in 9, 7, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 97 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 79 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

Liquid projectile shit all over the door

sweep the house for creatures, then search for food

Raid their fridge

Bang on the doorway to lure out any undead and fuck stogie again

Speak dog to Stogie and ask him if he smells a zombie

CHECK IT.

You find that your diet of canned food and traumatic experience of combined necrophilia and bestiality may have taken more of a toll than expected. Faced with this stressful situation deciding what to do next, you hear a rumbling deep in your bowels. You barely manage to take your pants off when the shit starts streaming out of your asshole like a geyser. It almost completely covers the door to your left and you see some get on Stogie's back as well. He whimpers and runs off into the darkness of the house. The projectile shit comes out with such force that it brings you to your knees and you lose consciousness.

As you come to, you see the silhouette of a small baby in the hallway straight ahead.

Next post ending in 6, 4, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 64 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 46 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

investigate the baby. assume it's hostile

Start licking up the shit

Look at the baby, if it's a zombie break his head with the baseball bat, if it's not a zombie take him with you (then find Stogie and have another threesome).

Checked, but unfortunately beat you to it since 7 and 9 were considered equal to dubs/greater for this next move.

Point gun at baby. If infected, shoot.

Punt that fucking baby out a window, slipping on your shit while doing so.

Oh my fucking god...

what types of guns are they

Treat baby as hostile. Close in slowly with gun equiped while checking for surroundings.

Raise baby to be the ultimate zombie/stink minority killer

Reroll

Holy shit this thread is fun, Sup Forums should play D&D style of rpg more often

What about replies like this OP? Does it make you follow the post quoted by it?

start singing alabama nigger at the top of my lungs

You just played dnd didnt u?

>DnD style rpg

Reroll again

rerol

this

rolling

Yell I hate undead niggers coming into our country eating our people

TRIPS GET
>find stereo and start blasting

You guys are relentless

Yell at the top of my lungs "SKRATTAR DU FöRLORAR DU MANNEN"

REROLL.

...

Pewdiefag, this is not reddit

again

Disoriented, you find the smell of your feces similar to that of taco bell chili. Since you're famished, you begin licking it off the floor. Although it makes you gag nearly to the point of vomiting, you continue. You do not notice the silhouette of the baby inching closer towards you.

As you continue feasting upon your shit, the baby stands up and begins running at you full sprint. You look up and just notice the baby about to lunge at you as Stogie steps back in and tackles it. After a brief struggle, Stogie crushes the baby's head. Judging by the decomposition, it had begun its afterlife quite some time ago. You begin to come to your senses and open up one of your two cans of food and eat that instead.

You raid the kitchen and find an additional 2 cans of food, and also some more knives which you disregard since your fixed-blade is already much more deadly. Not much other loot in the house other than a picture of the baby before it turned, which you placed inside your pocket.

You leave the house and plan your next move.

Next post ending in 4, 7, or dubs decides what you do. You have resolved that suicide is not an option.
Next post ending in 47 triggers a good luck bonus.
Next post ending in 74 triggers a bad luck penalty.
Any post is entitled to more information (within reason).

...

Shit all over the place and start licking it up again

FUCK, ok im done now OP

Explore the other rooms for shit

Go back to store supplies in shelter, then start my journey towards the nearest convenience store.

Ponder back on your old life

Find a female dog, make it fuck with Stogie, create an army of anti-zombies dogs

Basically, the first person to get dubs/greater or one of the two numbers at the end of their post get the final decision on my most recent post. If someone makes a reply to a post suggesting the next move and THEIR post ends in one of these things, then that counts.

Anything after that will be essentially disregarded until I open things up for the next move.

So many pre-teen faggots here. You honestly have to be under 10 or Seth McFarlane to find these stupid scat jokes funny. I'll get us back on track.

Fuck the baby's dead body, and begin the journey to that Burger King. You really want that sweet Whopper combo.

Rollin'

Poster seems to be a little behind. Brian and Carol's house has been searched thoroughly already. However, we can look again. You find some bandages which might come in handy later. Still standing outside their door. I'll leave things open for the next post ending in dubs, 4, or 7.

Tuns supha sayian

Wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream

Walk around the culdesac to find a bike.

This

Go to the supermarket, loot important shit like food & water

Alright. Get ready to roll. I want the dog and I to go out towards the city proper in search of water. We are now armed, locked and loaded. It's time to find some water before the sun goes down.

Go to the nearest convenience store