I have hemorrhoid. It hurts a lot to shit

I have hemorrhoid. It hurts a lot to shit
What should i do?

go to the fucking doctor

on Sup Forums for medical advice....

>stick a needle in it...

Squeeze it until it pops. It'll hurt like a bitch and bleed a lot but it stops being painful afterward.

sharpie in pooper with timestamp faggot

Divorce her

eat a whole 1lb block of cheese

burn it off

take a knife and perform surgery to remove the fucker

trust me, I'm a doctor

Remember to sterilize the knife before!

rinse well with water and smother in bepanthen cream, pray it goes away in under a week, else go to doc

TriAnal cream.
Google it if you think I'm joking, can get at pharmacy without pre.

Vegan diet helps

Heat a knife on the stove and pop it with it, no joke It'll hurt a little but it won't bother you anymore.

A diet that doesn't consist of dairy, egg, red & pink meat, and various spirits is guaranteed to turn any boy into a limp wristed faggot.

Preparation H, dummy.

This ^ 1 day before
This ^

>delicious queso salve

wait, why does it hurt to shit? I have had several haemorrhoids over the years and as long as you shit slowly and carefully they dont cause any significant problems in my experience. Are you trying to shit a 20 pound cheeseburger turd out all in 1 push or something?

Who is the faggot vegan on the lower right?

Yeah, Mike Tyson never ate a steak in his prime.

then don't shit, you moron

I have the hemis too, I suggest when you take a shit, don't just whipe your ass and leave, wash you anus with soap and water and inside your hole and it will prevent the itching and pain.

agree, he is fucking forcing it.

The pic wasn't necessary.... Put preparation H on it. It helps.

Rob Zombie

I take back the faggot part; he seems like a cool guy.

You must swear off fast food and soda.

Hypodermic needle w/ rubber tubing attached. Stick the needle in and suck the tube until the hemo is empty, the skin will tighten itself back up after that

max out on vitamin c, sleep more and get some cream. Take painkillers, blah blah blah... stop eating carbs for a bit, and drink lots of water.

Thank me later Sup Forumsro

They use rubber bands to cut of the circulation.

stop being fucked in the ass

stick it with needle. post results here.

>1 push
I seriously hope he is not pushing

if you have to force a shit you're doing it wrong

that's what you get for taking it in the ass you faggot.

>pop the hemorrhoid
>drain the puss and blood
>no more hemorrhoid
its that easy OP, I reccommend a really hot pin or scissor to help ease the pain, cause its gonna fucking hurt.

try to practice clenching your asshole like your pinching a turd

i do this for like a few minutes after using the bathroom

literally went away after a week but it was a minor one, your basically sucking your intenstines back

Tyson is not a vegan. He went on a vegan diet to lose weight, but began eating meat after losing weight. Brad Pitt has been regularly seen eating fish and other seafood. Jared Leto calls himself a "chegan" on national TV, which he defines as "trying to eat vegan as much as possible".
There is literally zero medical evidence that a vegan diet will help solve a hemorrhoid. Nothing in any healthy diet causes them, so changing your diet won't help them go away. Obesity can be a cause, which I believe you are implying, but vegans can certainly be obese as well. Weight gain is about calorie in/calorie out. It's easier to be obese eating high calorie food such as meat, but if you consume in moderation, you won't get fat from it.

Go to the doctor to get it removed surgically if this is your asshole.
And cut down on complex carbohydrates, eat lots of fiber and drink lots of water so your shit is soft enough it doesn't feel like you are being raped with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire every time you take a shit.

Pop it with a 18g needle

This
The only time I ever got a hemorrhoid was when I was a soda-chugging fatfuck. Once I cut that shit out and got to a healthy weight it went away permanently.
Lose weight fatty.

Do not follow this advice.

Shoot it with a bb gun

You need to squeeze and pop it like a zit.

I HAD THE SECOND WORST ones at age 20, i cut the shit with a huge slice across it with scissors and bled it out and pushed out the clot. Age 29, i got the WORST ones, they kept coming, i used ice and tried pushing it back in so many times the pain got unbearable so i sliced it open, 1 mirror, 1 razor blade, huge towel on my bed, pushed the shit out, it comes back the next day, more clot push out ect ect. Went to my grandmas funeral with a load of tissues stuffed up my ass full of dried blood while going through the ceremony KEK. Meh gotta do what you gotta do.

I'm 6', 190, pretty low body fat percentage, decent diet, and I get them all the time. Think it depends on a lot of factors.

HAHAHAHA you do notice everyone on the left has a high pitched voice right? Vegans are low test fags

yeah op I've done this before hurts a bit but it's just like a pimple where puss and blood is stored blocking you from taking a normal shit don't be afraid go and pop it
this guy is just trolling you he wants you to be in pain

hemorrhoids are caused or at the very least worsens by hard shit that fuck up your asshole, on a vegan diet your shit is soft so its gentle on the asshole.

>shit slowly
Literally what

why would you write kek there? are you retarded.

Slice it with a very sharp razor blade to drain the pus, then swab the open wound with rubbing alchohol.
That'll fix you right up.

You have to enjoy it. Let it come half way out, then suck it back into your butthole. Then repeat.

Theres no puss idiot, hemeroids are clots due to blood being pushed down and stuck in the veins. If you cut it out its just black jelly like blood.

Get that meds for it. A good shower and spread your ass the cold helps. Let it air dry. No whiping. Wash it instead.

...

PREP H fuckers

They are also caused and worsened by diarrhea. Can't be any easier on the brown eye than that. Your knowledge is spotty at best. Since you cant be bothered to research the causes during the near hour between my post and your response, I'll go ahead and provide you with a list of causes.

Straining during bowel movements
Sitting for long periods of time on the toilet
Chronic diarrhea or constipation
Obesity
Pregnancy
Anal intercourse
Low-fiber diet

Don't shit. Duh.

Insert shotgun in anus. Pull trigger.

Stop eating like shit, and shoving things in your ass faggot.

It's anal intercourse, definitely

Pop it. Get a bunch if toilet paper, grab it and squeeeeeeze until you feel it burst. It'll itch as it heals but it's better than dealing with the roid.

Stop it user I don't want to jerk off right now.

So I had a hemorrhoid once and I punctured it with a needle and I felt instant relief. Some white mucus like stuff came out and then I was fine. Also helps too if you rub some alcohol on it after you puncture it.

Allium powder dissolved on water, mix with ice in a bowl big enough so you can fit your ass on it, you go in, out, in out, for about ten minutes. Be sure not to burn yourself with the ice. Also improve you hygiene, avoid toilet paper as much as possible and use soap and water.