Itt we act like elves until someone rolls trips then we act like dwarves

Itt we act like elves until someone rolls trips then we act like dwarves.

Greetings, friends. What news of the east?

I smell orcs

Why are we making cookies in a tree? Can we get an actual building?

Sup niggas, where all dem white girls?

we waz elves an shit

Hello my western friends, in what honor it is to be apart of your town as we are all elves, you and I.

I have looked into your future, and seen nothing but niggers, traps, and cucks.

My elf eyes see menfolk from the southern realms, steer clear they are prone to destruction and rage.

You almost rolled a trip, you almost had us all killed!

Christ, but my ears are pointy!

Where the qt pi traps at?

Aw shit fucker

Pitfall traps used to catch orcs?

We just call them eyes, thanks.

what news have we about the ring?

Who are these fools, how did they get onto these sacred grounds? Guards, arrest these southerners immediately.

I too would quite like to know about the ring

I need pixie dust no more a wizard showed me the way

God i Am glad there AREN'T any dwarfes, and Pray to ever Living life, and that it NEVER stop, that there NEVER will COME any dwarf

I like getting drunk, eating food, and being a fat, hairy, porn loving shit. So better get some trips, otherwise I will have to perform the elf equivalent of Hari Kiri.

Oh boyo boyo I'm an elf that makes toys, but I wanna be a dentist

What if the Dwarves were... right?

hey santa, can I get the day off?

Beg pardon?

brrrrr, it's so cold up here on the North pole

I sure love my cute little elf shoes with their cute little jingle bells

I fucking hate dwarves

I meant, this leaf wrapped bread is amazing!

Golly! We almost had ours selves an emergency!

I'm gay

I dont think I could ever be friends with a dwarf with their grubby fucking hands n shit

Gee so much danger tonight, eh Lego My Lego Eggo Legless Lego Legolas?

Hey legos lass, you wanna learn how to make toys?

Its called masturbating humans do it all the time we will live on forever

I'm an elf, huh-houy

...

ELVES'RE RIGHT SHITE

what is up'th with that'th

There's a traitor in our midst

That is very true, sir, their greasy hands and their violent loud attitude. I'll tell you, there would be 85% less crime if the dwarfed left the furthest reaches of our woods and our furthest away mines

No quads protocol! That means we act like hobbits!

Oi gimme a pint ye elf lovin bastard

Ello dere

TOSS MEH!

Does this count brothers? Tis but quads

witnessed

I know Christmas is over, but we need to start making toys for 2018

Quads equals act like hobbits

...

REEE ELVES STEALING OUR SHIEEET, I SWEAR I WILL CARVE UP THEIR SKULLS AND DRINK FROM IT FIRST THE ELVES THEN SMORG

congrats fucka, you witnessd nutin

Man I could go for a seventh meal today

L-00-KZ LIKE MEEEET IS BAKK ON DA MENY-00 B-0YZZZZZZZZZZZ

AYE, ELVES BE THE DEVIL

QUIT IT WITH YAR FOOKIN FAIRY GIBBERISH YOUR PANSIES

I CAWN'T WATE TOO FUCK ME A GOOD LIL ELFY, DE TITER DE BETER AND IT SHOWS DEM ELVES WUT FORE

Elle there lil chap, would you like to see mei little cave I gotte' under ere? Ai laike bois lik y, ye make me leg tingle

FOR FOOKS SAYEK

Those god-damned elves! All they do is sit on shelves

I SWAER TO CHREIST IF SOMEONE DOESNT GET ME A FOOKIN PINT IN THE NEXT 10 SAECONDS IM BRINGIN' OUT ME AXE!

OI U FUKIN SAYIN YE ELVES ARE BASTERDS? ILL FUCKIN TELL YA M8 IL CALL VOLDEMORT EY CHAP

WHEARS ME FOOKIN PINT LASS?

LETS CUT OFF 'IS HEAD AND BE DONE WITH IT

STUCK UP YORE ASS

An enemy is afoot in the eastern realms. Chancellor Morkël, seeking to allieviate the suffering of the easterlings, allowed the enemy to cross the southern borders of her realm. The enemy is largely contained, but minor uprisings still plague her peoples. Far to the east the enemy grows stronger still. Purthane consolidates his power, and has begun expanding westerly into elvish territory.

Larry the Dwarf doesn’t like elves

Fucking nerds

AYE FOOK YOU, LASS

Gayest thing I ever wrote

FOOK YOU

more like virgin thread

Gayfolk are fine round here sonny, NOW BRING ME A FOCKIN' PINT YOU SHITTING TART!

Can we pretend to be fairies next?

AYE BUT YOU RESPONDED, DIDNCHA YA FOOKIN COCKSUCKING MAGGOT

Kill yeself cuckelve

WITTNES THOSE TRIPS, LASS. BUT YOU'RE STILL A FOOKIN ARSEHOLE, M8

CANT YA TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRI'S 'N' QUADS YOU STUPID BASTARD!?

Next trips of higher we act like hobbits

I don’t know. I always seem to remember them throwing faggots on fires in the Tolkien books. Just sayin’

What a bunch of faggots

[spoiler]TAZ'DINGO!

OI 'ERE DERE BE STUNTIES DAT NEED A GOOD SMASHING

...

NOBOY LIKES FOOKIN HOBBITS. ALL THEY DO IS SIT AT THEY'RE FOOKIN SHIRE AND ACT LIKE PANSIES

YEA FOOK THOSE DAMN HAWBBITS!!

YE REMEMBER THE STORY OF THORIN OAKENSHIELD? ALL IT TOOK WAS A MEASLEY 12 DWARVES TO CHANGE THE TIDE OF AN ENTIRE BATTLE. FOOK THE HOBBITS

WE WUZ KANGZ UNDER DA MOUNTAIN AND SHIET

AYE LASS, WE WERE KINGS.

WHERE ARE THE ELVISH BASTARDS ANYHOW? THEY COULD AT LEAST BRING THE ALCOHOL.

trips

holly shit, soemone bring me shit to drink and my axe.

Elf detected, gimme ma shiny rocks back you wine sipping fuck boi

Were only half elves have some class cunts

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