34 year old

> 34 year old.
> kissless virgin
> no friends
> bad relationship to family
> minimum wage job
> chronic illness

How do I put my life back on track?

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Leave your hometown to travel for a year. Something always comes up that gives you perspective. Do whatever you feel like doing and at some point you'll just know you changed. It's a huge fucking orb we live on, explore it.

I have 500 € in savings. That won't get me far.

- Education level
- Diet
- Hobbies

>Answer

Nor does it need to.
Don't expect to go from hotel to hotel.
Buy a backpack and make a simple itinerary . Get some unqualified work in each place for cash and stay at cheapshot motels everywhere. Its not hard if you have some imagination. You're browsing Sup Forums so i guess no option is really out of the question for you

>- Education level

PhD. Biology. Not able to find a job.

>- Diet

Nothing special. I like cooking and I abhor junk food.

>- Hobbies

Sports (climbing / bouldering, running cycling, gym). Cooking. Reading. Video games.

That could actually work. At least around Europe.

bump

>travel for a year.
You've lived your entire life in a safe space huh?

Indeed, i take the blame for perhaps not being able to comprehend what living on your own is like. But I've always had the strong feeling this is the right way to connect with oneself. Perhaps its what I read or music I listened to but my opinion stands

OP here. You talking to me?

bump

Leave your fucking basement. That's a start. Nobody is going to knock on your door and offer you a great job or ask you out on a date. Get out our your basement, get out of your comfort zone.

>Get out our your basement

I'm not a social butterfly, but I've managed to chat up girls regularly (thanks alcohol) and I keep writing job applications.

Take alot of drugs and drink alot. Soon enough you could give 2 shits about if your life sucks or ot not.

Got my alcohol consumption down a lot after trying to get fit.

Therapy always helps.
Try some in order to get well with yourself and others. May make it easier to get along with family and other people

And how is that workin out for you?

The alcohol thing or the getting fit thing?

I've replied to probably 50 or 60 of these threads over the last couple of years, and in not a single one has the OP bothered to read anything I've written. It took me a while but I eventually realized that people who write these things are where they are specifically because they DON'T listen, WON'T listen, and are only interested in seeking pity.

What have you written?

Why do you care? You won't heed it anyway.

Was it "go to a hooker" or something similar?

I'm 50 years old and I have a lot of very serious chronic health problems, including going blind. I've had severe depression and crippling social anxiety all my life, but I've done all the things I've wanted to do not in spite of my problems but because I've learned how to exploit them.

But that's not what you want to hear. You want to hold a giant pity-party and explain why you're hard done by and couldn't possibly do any of the things I've done, despite being much better off in every way.

You're lazy, cowardly, and filled with ennui. That's your REAL problem.

>but because I've learned how to exploit them.

How did you exploit depression and social anxiety?

See, I can already read the subtext of incredulous disbelief. You can't even conceive of the idea that these things are not curses if they're used properly. You just want to sit in a corner and weep about how unfair the world is despite a lot of people who have it a lot worse than you managing to push their way forward.

Your real weakness is your existential cowardice and lack of imagination.

How about you give me a fucking straight answer?

Why? You won't listen.

If I tell you to go read about the theory of depressive realism, and that depression is a dark gift capable of giving you the power of incredible discernment if you have the strength to live in lucidity, you won't. I guarantee it. If you had the initiative to do so, you wouldn't be moping around here looking for pity.

I know about the theory that depressive people are less biased in their judgement. But I don't know how that helps me solve my problems.

You don't know because you won't think. You want to baww about all the things which are out of your control instead of trying to make a list of all the things which are. Depression is especially good at giving short-range accuracy of observation, which is what it evolved for.

where are u from?

OP, this user is correct.

Be active. Open your mind. Talk to girls. Take baby steps. You can change yourself. I was a hopeless virgin and moron throughout high school and college. Since about 28 I've been challenging myself. I'm 46 now and still learning. Fucked a super hot 10/10 gril recently who is the most beautiful I'll ever get. She is only 25. If you had told me one year ago that I would bang this chick, I would have said you're insane.

Work at it. You will change and improve. It's fun to see the difference over time. Good luck, Sup Forumsro.

>You want to baww about all the things which are out of your control instead of trying to make a list of all the things which are.

I honestly don't know what is in my control. Not much.

And if your statement is here

>Depression is especially good at giving short-range accuracy of observation, which is what it evolved for.

is accurate, I should be correct with assessment.

Germany.

Become a teacher

>I was a hopeless virgin and moron throughout high school and college. Since about 28 I've been challenging myself.

When I moved to university at 20, I really wanted to change my social behaviour. So I started to participate in any social activity I could for almost a year. But slowly, I began to realise that nothing has changed and that I was still the awkward person I've been before.

Yeah, that's what I thought. I don't know why I bothered. Enjoy the sad little pit of misery you've constructed for yourself.

I really don't know if I want to go back to university for four or five years.

>Enjoy the sad little pit of misery you've constructed for yourself.

That's the power of depression you self-contradictory piece of shit.

No big deal. It's a very long term process, my bro. Keep at it. Some small success will eventually bolster your confidence, and then another. It will happen, and it's worth it, even if it takes 10 or 20 years.

Well you sound just joyous

You are from Germany and 34 and virgin?
I lived in Germany for 15 years nad fucked about 7 stutes. 35Eur is not the world. It gave me the boost that I needed at the time. It is not a permanent solution tho. You seem sexually frustrated. Fuck a stute youll gain confidence. It will help you get a permanent girlfriend. No one was interested in me until I got my dick wet. Maybe it opened my eyes girls became more compliant. 6 Months ago I moved to Bulgaria and my life is much better. Remember Germany is 50% bad weather and 50% taxes. Good luck.

I actually am morally ambivalent towards prostitution (especially this cheap) but I guess I need to try it.

I was too. But it was what I needed. They are not so dirty as I thought just regular girls that you pay for to get them faster in bed.

Not OP, you sound like one of those Sup Forums scams but ill bait. Show me how to exploit it like you do maybe youll show something new to me. Lil bit of background: I've been a bit depressed since my father died when i was 14 (talked to him just a day before his death and everything looked like regular, got a bit into a fight with him) and my mom got diagnosed with cancer year later. Watching dads dead body just before burial just a day after talking and getting into a fight with him and watching mom fighting with cancer for a good year meanwhile losing her hair, weight and puking everynight horribly fucked with me and my conciousness abit. Im way older now, my mom survived her chemos and fight with cancer but for a price of good and sharp memory (she sometimes forgets things we talked about etc.). What i gained from all this hell is a feeling of sadness and loneliness that wont go away no matter what i do and i also noticed that i lost common sense of fear. Sometimes i think about suicide but only weaklings kill themselves in my opinion. So back to the point. How do you exploit it? You brag to everyone and play on their kindness? If yes you are no less of a loser than OP himself

1st
The world doesn't owe you anything
2nd
Get life back on track
???
Profit.

I decided very early that if I couldn't have a "normal" life like everyone else because of all my physical and mental problems, I'd do whatever the fuck I wanted with my life. I gave everything away and spent a year hitching around, living in a tent. I've climbed a mountain. I've run for public office. I've founded two NGOs. I've been to prison. I've punched a cop on more than one occasion. I've made a living from everything from busking to selling janitorial chemicals from a backpack to doing tarot readings to writing custom erotica. I've hosted two radio shows, been published professionally, and am well enough known to have a Wikipedia article about me.

When you have nothing to lose, you become free to do anything and everything if you can find the courage to do it. Once you stop worrying about what people will think of you, it becomes possibly to *enjoy* your madness.

smoke dmt, meditate, find what is really important and why are you really here experiencing what you experience, learn from it, finally die without regret loosing time here. Ps you choose it to be like this before you came here so probably there is some lesson you wanted to learn or you are just young sould who still don't know how this world works

Im trying to do what you are doing. Dont care about anything and just do what i want (using brain ofc) thanks to that i was able to get into modeling (something i wanted to try out for long time) what i still lack sometimes is coldness. I always care for other people, their feelings and health (im even sure i would take a bullet for someone random if needed without second thought) Most of the time i share everything i have with others and trust almost everyone even tho sometimes i see that it doesnt benefit me at all but im still doing it, i noticed that i live for others instead of myself, because i dont want people to feel sad and miserable like i did in those years. Are you just going yolo and living for yourself or do you care more about other people than yourself?

BECOME DRUG DEALER

For the last three years I've lived without a fridge, stove, or shower. I haven't had a hot meal in three years. That's because I decided I wanted to create my own community centre for outcasts. I sold everything, moved to a city with cheap rent, and rented the cheapest thing I could find, an old, abandoned plastics factory with a storefront. I've spent three years living in the basement of this scary abandoned factory (pic related: it's my bedroom down in what used to be the air conditioning room of the factory) so I can make this a reality. So yeah, I know a little something about making sacrifices for other people. But I'm also doing this for me, because creating a community centre is something I've always wanted to do.

You still living in humble places like this? Any stories fun/sad that you will remember till the end thanks to this basement?

Also how did u cope with loneliness? Any tips or tricks on surviving without shower fridge or stove

>How do I put my life back on track?
You can't

youtube.com/watch?v=QOzXRpLD-XU

Loneliness isn't a big deal. I enjoy my own company and spend a lot of time thinking. I'm also a cinephile and, despite living in the basement of an abandoned factory, I have a 100 Mbps fibre optic Internet connection, meaning I can torrent every TV show and movie ever made any time I want to.

I eat out of cans in front of the computer, but a very nice Sup Forumstard recently bought me a hotplate and a kettle and a box of food at christmas after he found out about my conditions, so I'll be eating hot food again soon. That's the kind of kindness that goes a long way to keeping you going when things seem hard.

Don't be afraid to take chances. You're already miserable; what do you have to lose?

Op here.

I also think i might be gay. But im not sure. Is it possible without kissing a guy?

why don't you start looking for ecchi? it's really good

Check out Jordan B Peterson on youtube, watch through his lectures

Get a gym membership. Work out there, shower there, talk to people there. You can find one for 15-20 a month. It might be a big part of your budget, but it's worth it.

Thank you for sharing

>Not OP, you sound like one of those Sup Forums scams

This! If you truly had severe depression and crippling social anxiety all your life you can't possibly hope to live a normal life you sack of shit. I have these issues and it has made me not leave the house all week. It is very difficult living with this and I don't ever want to converse with anybody. If you somehow did normal things then guess what? You never had those issues as bad as some people have it. I've heard faggots like you say shit like oh I've been depressed when in reality its just minor sadness they have for a few days because maybe they didn't get that girl they wanted and now are moaning about it.

Fuck off faggot. I get depression where I feel like I am in a cruel matrix. Not for petty shit like wah tfw no gf like the bulk of you pieces of shit on here do when you bitch. Fuck women but fuck you more.

Yeah, there's the self-pitying narcissism I know so well.