> 10 years in. > Been a jealous dick too many times to count, now she's checked out. > Have 3 kids > Glimmer of hope, I started changing radically for the better a few months ago. > She's loving it, but when I ask I get the vibe she's still wanting to divorce when she graduates from school later this year. > Not sure if my consistency is going to be enough to change her feelings. > Do NOT want to lose seeing kids everyday.
I created a little survey with questions to ask her each month, so I don't annoy her daily and can get a pulse on her feelings here.
What questions would you ask to help her start wanting to care? To start her thinking she could have a fresh beginning with us, not just by divorcing?
Much appreciated bros. Should be an interesting board to get feedback from.
Julian Jackson
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Josiah Williams
You were there to pay the bills. Thanks for the fish
Juan Reed
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Elijah Allen
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Christopher Hernandez
Never abandon your kids. Only sad cunt of a man abandons his cubs because of issues with the mother
Carson Williams
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Robert Lewis
Leopards and spots, OP, leopards and spots. She knows you're making a short-term, superficial effort but she knows who you really are, not the suit you put on.
Anthony Adams
Exactly, that's why I'm trying to salvage the marriage. Best case scenario I get 50% custody so basically I miss half their childhood.
I'd rather get her to feel comfortable with sticking around, at least until they are far more grown.
Matthew Morgan
Agreed. Any thoughts on helping except for time plus consistency?
Jayden Roberts
Nope. Only time + consistency. And maybe being open about how much you’ve learned about yourself.... Sometimes them just knowing you’re self aware is good. Demonstrate an interest in building a new relationship. But don’t pester her with quizzes... unless she gets off on those. Do you guys still fuck? If so there’s reasonable hope.
Nathan Garcia
>> Do NOT want to lose seeing kids everyday. Y'know that happens no matter what you do, right? Whether your marriage ends or not, they're gonna grow up and move out.
When it's all just memories, it's not gonna make much difference how many years you had with them.
Brandon Morales
Maybe renew your vows? Idk that seems like a thing people do.
James Anderson
this user knows what's up i suggest you follow their advice
Gavin White
Can you elaborate on what exactly you did that ruined the relationship for her?
Aaron Murphy
> When it's all just memories, it's not gonna make much difference how many years you had with them. Holy shit, that's not just "wrong". That's 180 degrees away from right.
Asher Jones
I want to break up.
Hudson Morgan
Maybe you shouldn't have had kids or gotten married.
Maybe you should've just stayed in a normal bf/gf relationship ship with no children. There's 99% less risk that way
Connor Perez
Tell her you'd be willing to become a cuckold.
Wyatt Morales
Do you still have any feelings towards her or is it only to save your relationship with your kids? If it's the first one try marriage counseling or some of the other stuff posted here. If it's the second one, you can try to keep the marriage together to keep the kids or come to an agreement of sorts to stay together only for the kids. Just my thoughts OP, good luck my man
Landon James
Thanks. we fuck all the time still.
Austin Baker
Play it honest, raise them well and don't give in to petty feelings of jealously, and your kids will grow up with clear preference for daddy.
Levi Thomas
Yeah I don't get that guy lol. I cherish ever second with my kids.
Liam Brooks
I still have feelings for her. I'll break out the unique arrangement ideas as a last resort, but open to anything for my kids sake as long as they aren't exposed to weird shit.
Alexander Flores
This may be the best option.
Cooper Thompson
Honestly I've been super focused on this part too. If she leaves me, the kids are going to have the best relationship possible with me. And if it still goes south at least they are having their best memories with me right now.
Brandon Perez
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Michael Gonzalez
Leave her first and take the kids
Parker Miller
Hah I don't think that works in the U.S. But the thought did cross my mind. Can't think of any non extradition countries that aren't shit. Better just keep fighting my possibly hopeless battle for now.
Jace Walker
>I created a little survey with questions to ask her each month, so I don't annoy her daily and can get a pulse on her feelings here. That's just gunna resolidify her idea to leave you.
Just do what you're doing to make things better and drop the questions.
Also she's probably fucking someone else.
Asher Fisher
And this is why you don't ask a bunch of virgin neckbeards for relationship advice.
Thomas Collins
>Also she's probably fucking someone else. This. If you can get evidence, it'll help you with custody. Can you afford a PI?
Adam Martin
Good point. I just told her I'm willing to drop all convos and let her initiate deep convos going forward, and I'll just keep working on us.
She might (i have no reason to think) but honestly I don't even care, I could get past that for the kids sake if she ended it
Daniel Fisher
I could prob swing a cheap one, didn't think about that. Could keep that evidence in my back pocket if it were happening.
Noah Hughes
can confirm, was in a very similar scenario.
things got better about 6 months before it all went to shit....because thats when she started dating someone else.
cut your losses OP unless you can find solid evidence shes cheating, then you might actually get to keep the kids. like i did.
payed close to 5k to get it done, but they were pretty young still so it was worth it.
