Story time Sup Forums

story time Sup Forums
This genuinely happened when I went on craigslist once

>be me
>smoking some doink I got from my roommate
>suddenly feel like playing xbox but no xbox
>go on craigslist looking for xbox
>see shady ad but eh its cheap
>go to address
>its a cheap middle class house but with the largest yard I had ever seen.
>walking towards door but the guy from Craigslist suddenly opens and yells me to come in, as if he was waiting for me
>look at him for a few seconds, thinking of turning back, but decide to continue walking
>as I approach the front door the smell of a million scented candles erupts from the entrance and enters my innocent nostrils
>like this scent was fucking strong
>big man tells me to come in
>eyes water like crazy but wat the heck free xbox amirite.jpg
>enter house
>candles.
>CANDLES EVERYWHERE
>I cannot stress enough how many candles there were in his house, and they were all lit at midday
>"You here for the xbox?"
>I nod nervously
>he goes into a backroom and comes back with the machine
>It's fucking covered in wax
>Ask why it's covered in wax
>"You put candle on it"
>Nigga wat
>Ask him if he's some kind of candleman
>Up to this point the guy had been pretty normal, but after I asked him if he was the candleman, his eyes went wide open.
>"I AM THE CANDLEMAN"
>I shit you not this guy starts pushing over every fucking candle in his house
>autism level maxed out
>wax and candles everywhere
>tables, floors, walls all covered in wax with the sound of candleman's loud screaming
>suddenly a flame catches on
>HOUSEONFIRE.GIBBY

cont.

>we both sprint outside
>I fucking faint
>wake up in hospital from a drug overdose

basically that's how I remember it. At first I thought the candles had some kind of drugs in them which made me faint. That's when I remembered my roommates doink did not cointain weed but DMT.

>DMT made me hallucinate like a fucking retard
>this is what really happened
>arrived at destination
>go into the guys 3 by 3 ft yard and start walking circles for about 5 minutes before the guy finally noticed me and yelled at me to come the fuck inside
>this guy had 1 scented candle in his house
>ONE
>appearantely started YELLING: "WOWEE THATS A LOT OF CANDLES, WHOOOWEE"
>guy thought I was retarded and asked me if I was there for the xbox
>I did not just nod
>"YIPPIE DOOWEE THATS ME ALRIGHT"
>he just wants me out of there and leaves the room to get the xbox
>While he was gone I grabbed the ONE scented candle in the room and started the sniffing the fuck out of it
>Guy comes back with the xbox and I, as he told me, "started licking my lips viciously while smearing the xbox with my newfound candle"
>Stop and ask him why it's completely covered in wax
>Naturally he tells me I put the candle all over it
>Shocked at this comment I allegedly looked at my hand in shock to find that I was, in fact, holding a candle
>My calling was found
>Start screaming "I AM THE CANDLEMAN" while running around the house with the candle
>Guy starts chasing me
>Throwing over tables, chairs, closets, everything is going kaput
>I spilled about two drops of wax as the candle immediately extinguished itself due to the violent running
>Finally he catches me, but shortly after I start screeching "THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE"
>Use my super autismo power to rid myself from his superhuman grasp and escape the house
>Strand on his yard and collapse

Don't do drugs kids. I was the candleman

This is the best thing I've read in ages

Thanks candelman

10/10

Thanks,op
I needed that kek

that house sounds lit, fam

>"YIPPIE DOOWEE THATS ME ALRIGHT"
this is amazing
somebody screencap this

I AM THE CANDLEMAN

include in screencap

>YIPPIE DOOWEE THATS ME ALRIGHT

he copy pasted this from reddit you retards.

>WOWEE THATS A LOT OF CANDLES, WHOOOWEE

My sides

Bravo, user

load of horse shit, dont hallucinate on dmt lile that and cant overdose, faggot

DMT is not like this

If you actually did DMT youd be literally unable to move, let alone somehow arrive at the destination.

Fucking retard nigger

that's now how dmt works

not necessarily true. While DMT definitely involves a sense of "you should lay the fuck down", if you try to move on DMT, it's totally possible. Super weird and not comfortable, but you can definitely move around.

That said, yeah, his story is bullshit.

>"YIPPIE DOOWEE THATS ME ALRIGHT"
kekd 4000 times

>yippie doowee that's me alright

>WOWEE THATS A LOT OF CANDLES, WHOOOWEE

I don't care if this is BS about DMT or if this is copy pasted from somewhere else

This was a genuine kek

Screencap me you filthy niggers

Someone put me in the screencap
>YIPPIE DOOWEE THATS ME ALRIGHT

good one

this
and this

ugh sooo fake

...

Fake, but I lol'd

GOdgoddgod you've killed a man.

First kek in a while
What scent was the candle though?

why screenshot fake bullshit?

get me in this screencap

...

>throwing a closet

this

Doesn't matter that it was fake, it was funny

Fucking read the file name

Look mom I'm in the screencap