There's a drug test tomorrow at work and I've been smoking a lot if pot which my boss is super against...

There's a drug test tomorrow at work and I've been smoking a lot if pot which my boss is super against. I need this job and my best friend suggested he could piss in a ziploc bag and I could carry it(extremely carefully) Into the bathroom with me when I go to piss into the cup. How viable is this?

wash out a condom, use that... tie it up, and put it in your underwear.
You can also put a safety pin in there too to poke it open.
Stop smoking weed you loser.

Lol if I were your best friend I’d offer the same thing, but I’d do a bunch of coke and meth so you got busted for way worse than smoking pot just to teach you that HAVING A FUCKING JOB IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FAGGOT ASS SMOKING HABITS. You pot smoking hippy dumbass liberalist cunts drive me crazy.

I hope you get fired and die.

have you tried not being a hippy loser?

>I could carry it
They'll find it when they strip-search you before the test.

who's strip searching you for a job piss test? lol

They're doing it everywhere. It's due to a directive by Attorney General Sessions.

no it isnt lol

Bullshit! No company gives you advance notice of a drug test!

They test for temperature during a piss test aswell to tell if you smuggled it in or not.

Only way you could do it would be to get your friend to piss in a condom, tie a knot in it and then insert it into your anus so that you can keep it at body temperature.

>not knowing hand-warmers exist

keeping a bag of another dude's urine snuggled up to your crotch means you're gay

I’ve actually done this before.

Put the urine in a non-lubricated condom. Tie it up.

Keep it by your crotch/thigh - it needs to be warm (body temp). If you can, you could microwave it for a VERY short amount of time and the. Keep it on your thigh for a while.

Make sure you have a way to poke a hole in the condom - you do NOT want to be in a bathroom stall struggling to open a knot you tied in a condom. Have a way to open it.

This does work. I was lab (not cup) drug tested regularly - I actually used my own urine from when I was clean (I refrigerated it for a week), smoked, and used my old piss.

Hand warmers are a much better idea than a microwave. I wish I’d thought of that

Based

some of these places employ a person to watch you take your dick out and piss. you don't just get to walk in the bathroom and come out with a jar of piss. they make sure the piss is coming out your actual dick.

this

I lost. .wait

where the fuck you hear that? lmao

Bring clean piss in a glove carried in ur underwear then rip a tip and pour it in cup the. Piss on the outside of the cup so the heat shows body temp

LISTEN TO ME AND ONLY ME
your plan is totally doable. But you need hand warmers that you can buy from like walmart. I did this MANY times in just that fashion. You wrap the piss up good and maybe even in two bags. Then take and tape a hand warmer to it. Only one is needed. More than that will heat it up way too much for the sample jar reader.
Stuff it in your underwear and be careful walking. Go to the bathroom, rip a corner off and let it go into the jar. Wrap the remaining bag in a wad of paper towels and stuff it in your pocket and leave asap. I did this at my doctors office too many times to remember.
Works like magic. I got you bro.

> i hope you get fired and die.

LOL

Especially doing it just because of something so faggoty as weed

>Jeff Sessions

people still listen to that shriveled up faggot?

I find it fucking rediculous that weed is frowned upon in today's society.
It's perfectly fine to drink alcohol that has a negative affect on work and life, when will the world mature and stop drinking alcohol and smoke weed?
It's a double standard I think that if weed is that bad they should ban alcohol.
But they won't tax money and other revenues created by alcohol is too much to loose.
I'd go with the condom method it seems the easiest way.

Haha you Americans are hilarious, drug testing seriously? Muh freedoms

Used to be a pothead myself. For 16 years of my life. Said nothing could change me or my feelings about it .. grew up one day. Left it behind.
Have a real life, and family. Outside of drugs. Can be proud of myself around my children. Not a drug addict.. to all you potheads, it can happen to you too. You in fact have the power to NOT be a loser anymore.
MAKE THAT CHANGE

You can't control yourself and it's going to cost you a job. Sooner or later you'll learn, but until then, you'll be a burden to those around you for a cheap, temporary release.

So using weed on weekends or the odd day after work is concidered a looser?
To be '' addicted '' to weed is fake news its just weak minded people who smoke from getting up to sleeping who can't get a grip.

Yes, it does. You could prove user wrong by harnessing your immense self-control and not smoking but you won't, or can't. "I smoke a bit to get to sleep/ when I'm partying with friends/ when it's free." A dependency is a dependency by whatever name you call it.

Buddy, go get niacin, It's just a vitamin supplement. It will work, has for me many times. Just be prepared to turn a little reddish and feel warm. Worst car, the piss is inconclusive which will buy you the time for a proper detox drink or some shit.

Looser....loser... Fuck face

But I use it just like others use alcohol just to unwind and relax.
Maybe a gram a week at most

you know they also test for pee temp.

....... Says the guy on Sup Forums, welcome to the club.

>not wanting to carefully insert a condom of warm piss inside your ass

too bad they don't drug test with semen, then i could get my friends to cum for me and secretly jack off with their load

Do you have another option you piece of shit?

what're you dumb? they don't
Even the court system just uses strip tests (because serious testing is FUCKING expensive). His job isn't about to drop that much money

Came here to say this. Niacin works, I actually got it past a lab, but I know they sometimes look for it. and its not like some detox that takes forever, just take a few. It will feel like you have a minor sunburn.

I used to sell my piss to a friend's sister so she could pass drug tests. She kept her job the entire time I sold her piss, so I assume it works. You just have to figure out how to transport it well.

lost

Let me guess, you get your highs from trap threads?

Smoking weed is the shit!! A legal practice in a majority if states is classed as a degenerate act? Go kys fuckin faggot

Have a £40k job, large social circle, steady relationship with a child and one on way and I Smoke weed. Fuck stereotypes, it’s like someone drinking a bottle of wine or a few cans every other night.

(Britfag)