Hey this is my second time shilling one of my songs, can you point out everything that’s wrong with it?

Hey this is my second time shilling one of my songs, can you point out everything that’s wrong with it?

youtu.be/qU6Di_Y-IO4

Last time you guys said I should make the drums heard, so I took your advice. Different song tho

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soundcloud.com/user-972572029/my-oh-my-my-minds-own-eye
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Bump

I don't like the lyrics at all tbh.

Sorry to hear that. I’m guessing it’s the part where I say “i know you want the best for me”? Sounds like I’m talking about a parent lol but yeah I can rewrite the lyrics

you from Portland OR?
sounds like i walked into angsty teen PacSun

sounds like my 90's garage band. it's absolutely garbage in every aspect and you should honestly stop embarassing yourself. also this sort of music will not get you anywhere in the 2010's

Nah I’m from San Francisco area

I just need to find a drummer I think. I did the drums myself which is why it’s really basic

Welp, as long as u have fun doing ur thing and its keeping u outta trouble rock out wit ur cock out.
just had a feeling it was from the west coast is all.

Don't listen to continue working on your craft and you can only get better user

Just terrible

Thx man appreciate it

Work on your vocals. They sound terrible; whiny and weak. It sounds like you're straining at the top of your vocal range, and if so, you should try rewriting down to a lower key so your voice can manage it better. As for your drums, maybe you can try studying how drums are written. Look online for drum sheets, see how snare, kick and cymbal are coordinated together for the most basic of rhythms. Once you get the hang of the basic construction, you can begin experimenting with your own rhythms.

Hey, even the Beatles were rejected like i said if ur having fun keep at it bud ur only gonna get better at it.

That’s very good feedback, yeah I was straining my voice definitely. I wish I could practice drums more but roomates hate it... but thx I’ll look up some drum beats to practice

It could be better, but its not terrible . Keep it up, hone your craft.

I sure will... love the pic btw

Save up for an electronic drum kit to practice with. Still makes some noise, but it'll be much more quiet than real drums. Furthermore, you can integrate one of those into a DAW workflow. Just look for some free drum samples online if the stock ones sound pretty poor. I took another quick listen, and you should also learn to watch your tempo a bit more. It's good, but there are moments where instruments and vocals are maybe about an eighth of a beat off? It just doesn't sound perfectly in time.

stop posting on b. stop wasting your time. focus constantly and grow.

Yeah I had a bit trouble keeping in time because tempo changes in middle of song and the guitar part had me struggling. I’ll definitely look into getting a electronic drum set, the one I’m using I taped a T-shirt to the snare so it wouldn’t ring out much

otherwise just give up.

I’ll try to grow ty

A perfect example why some people shouldn't sing.

Thx a lot man

Wait, don't tell me you recorded your vocals and the guitar at the same time, did you? Granted, it's good practice if you're ever performing live, but it sounds much better if you record them on separate tracks and mix them together in post. It gives you much finer controls over how loud each part should be, and it generally just sounds better since each take is cleaner with all your effort focused into doing one thing. I don't know how far something like Audacity can bring you in terms of audio mixing, so maybe try investing in (or cracking, whatever works) a DAW, like FL Studio. If you have a Mac, GarageBand should tide you by just fine for the beginning.

Of course, keep it up. You'll grow and mature your skill sets over time. There are a lot more points I have yet to touch on, such as song structure (try aiming for a simple verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus structure) and all that. Stick with a constant tempo and time signature too, by the way. It's good to experiment, but it's best to play it safe in the beginning. Once you're confident in your skills, proceed to fuck around.

Lol! I’ve been looking for vocalists/drummers but hasn’t worked out yet, but I’ll keep looking

As embarrassing as it sounds I actually did record them separately. I use GarageBand from my iPhone to record everything. As for the tempo change I just really liked that rhythm from a song by title fight so I kinda copied it? (lol)

On leveling, the vox need to come down a bit and guitar needs up. Also, that's a real muddy guitar tone, try a mid scoop to clean that up, and brighter distortion would do you wonders. The mix in general is very dry, could use a touch of reverb on everything and a bit more on the vox. These are all things you can do for free in your DAW.

Hey, it's the same user from yesterday.
When I said to use the whole ball thing I should've mentioned you need to open up and not tense everything up.
Standing with feet shoulder length apart and shoulders squared up.
Also as a breathing exercise make sure when you breath in your shoulders stay stationairy and your chest puffs up instead, it'll give you a more rich access to your full vocal range

Well, as controversial as it may sound, copying is good practice. Of course, never officially release it (plagiarism or whatever), but it really helps you learn what goes into pretty much anything you're making.

Vocals need reverb and duplication

Also being confident in the notes your going for and knowing the feeling they'll make when they come out right helps a lot, another good practice is shaping your mouth for the next major vowel sound

>Vocals need reverb and duplication
This and moar plz

Yeah idk why I made guitar so soft in this song, I think I was too focused on the drums this time. And thank you for explaining the dry thing I didn’t know exactly what it meant. Also my amp is almost completely broken lol and people have told me it sounded a lot brighter b4 it started deteriorating
Oh man you found me lol. Yeah I actually sit in my car when I record vocals and tense up really hard when I sing. I’ve always heard only your gut should move when singing but I’ll try that definitely
Yeah the song I took it from was coxton yard when he says “a train nearby reminds”

Looks like the singer is completely out of time with background music, but not bad

Don't listen to them.

Unless you're making pop music, then yeah, join in on the trend.

Oh I didn’t know that. Whenever I tried to layer vocals it always sounded robotic (at least in my GarageBand app)

Yeah taking 5 minutes to do range exercises helps a lot, if you know you'll be in an upper range start your warm-up with an ascending scale exercise and finish with descending exercises. Also idk if this is your cup of tea but instead of going up an octave where you're not comfortable just try yelling/screaming in the same octave. Getting loud like that generally sounds like you're going higher when your not

Oh god, don't sit when you sing. Never good singing posture. The gut moving thing is known as breathing using your diaphragm, it allows you to take in more air as opposed to breathing "normally" (shoulders move up and down with each breath cycle). It shouldn't be the only thing that moves though. Cringy as it is, let your body flow with the music.

I’m actually yelling pretty hard in my car lol don’t think I could get any louder but that’s definitely something I want to learn I hear it a lot in songs I like but never tried it

Also don't ever sit and sing, if you have to, do it laying down

It's different from normal yelling, you don't tense your throat to do it like most try, you'll wreck your voice for good like that. Using your diaphragm for everything is key. Also if that's you yelling, just drop everything by an octave

try some reverb then kys

I’ll have to go somewhere else other than my car to sing I guess, or when no one in the house

I might have wrecked my throat already but now I usually just sing from tensing lower chest in as if I’m breathing out

One of my favorite bands TSSF I heard does pitch changes to their vocals. Personally tho I’ve had some bad experiences with vocal layering so don’t worry I won’t do that (probably)

I’ll try the reverb but not gonna kill myself anytime soon, at least not until I write an actual good song

Only tense your chest if you're trying to sing like you're trying to be quiet or whisper sing

Take some tips from my track
soundcloud.com/user-972572029/my-oh-my-my-minds-own-eye

Thx bro
I’m surprised that there’s so many people here that know how to sing properly, literally this advice is really helpful

If you posted your real song I actually would lol

i did

Well I'm trying to help my friend learn to sing so while he fumbles with it I figure why not help someone who shows some hope of actually using it well

Alright

I’m sure he’ll be good especially with your support

OP here, Thx for all the replies/feedback guys really appreciate it. Gotta get some sleep but I'll probably be back. Thanks again