5:45 PM

>5:45 PM
>Wake up from a particularly intense visit to tumblrs paw-fetish tag
>Even managed to stretch over my belly and reach my peepee long enough to cum with out mummys help
>Awake now, I feel the need for about 50 tendies and an extra large glass of chokie pudding to wash it down
>Press the intercom I had mommy install for my birthday last year
>"TENDIES TENDIES AND CHOKIE PUDDY!"
>If this cunt is too stupid to decipher THAT, then she's beyond all fucking help
>Mommy sprints up the stairs 20 minutes later with 2 50 piece nuggets from mcdonalds and a large jug of puddy
>Nuggets
>"Do it again or I'll fucking kill myself and light the house on fire right before I pull the fucking trigger."
>"Wha- Oh right! Tendies, not nuggies! I'm so so sorry honey..."
>"Honey'
>Fucking HONEY
>Mommy knows I like to be called her sweetpea
>Roll out of bed and lunge at her, the poopoo from last weeks Poofap party in hand
>Smash it into her fucking face as hard as I can while screaming "POOPOO POISON PAWNCH!!!"
>Mommy falls backwards into the radiator, but this has happened so many times her skull is calloused enough to tank the shot, she scrambles to her feet and rushes back to the car
>By the time she returns, I've eaten all the nuggies and puddy
>She has the 50 tendies
>But no new puddy

Guys, I try to be understanding but this is borderline child neglect. How do I show her that this is unacceptable? It's obvious my gentle reminders won't be as effective now that her skull doesn't crack on the radiator anymore.

Damn my dude, how much GBP you sitting at?

Fucking christ..... this type of greenest started out funny. Now I'm just imagining being the parent of an autist...... nah fuck that
Adoption it is. Not taking the chance

...

>be a 27 year old NEET
>wake up at 6PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicken tenders, just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungry for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let losse my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to Jumanji
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "...tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicky tendies again"

And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points

Bump

>wake up to my room of piss jugs and shit bottles
>first thing I do in the morning is check my gbp
>saved up enough good boy points to buy a steam card
>crawl out of my teen titans go blanket (I got it from Santa instead of coal for being a good boy)
>rip off page of my gbp chart and hobble downstairs
>mummy cooking me a breakfast of tendies
>"mummy mummy! I saved up enough good boy points to get a steam card!"
>"let me see that my special little boy. You've been so good these past few weeks! Here are your chicken tenders."
>fucking normie cunt, who calls them chicken tenders
>eat my mountain of tendies then get into the car
>mummy starts to drive
>suddenly get motion sick
>"mummy I don't feel very good"
>puke all over the back of her car, tendie chunks everywhere
>oh my god! -10 gbp. We are going back to the house now
>what the fuck you stupid bitch I was good all month for that steam card
>was going to buy Sakura Angels with it
>get back to the house
>enact plan of revenge
>mummy goes to sleep
>pick up shit jugs with caution, pull out mummy's space heater and place the shit jugs with it next to her bed
>20 min later
>shit bottles explode
>hot poop splatters everywhere
>mummy gets plastic shard in her eye
>has to go to the hospital
>doctor said its infected and has to be removed
>mummy now looks like nick fury
fucking normie bitch that's what you get for taking away my gbp

To either have an autist or kids like you fuckers

it r saimpl mai 4end der r lusts off fangs u cud doo 4 eggshampull u cod luk up spells or juice saicolojikal warfair 2 haded ur woareds haev st0nkr aimpeecet adn stuhf

>Be my birthday
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever

utseid???
w04w veiry laychendairy baydayway

pir8 cunfarmdeded

>in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart
>mom comes in
>"user, we're having company round later, could you please shower"
>remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew)
>"o..okay shadow killer"
>throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again
>5pm now
>ask my whore mom where my chicky tendies are
>there are people here
>"everyone this is user" says my stupid dad
>scream at him that my name is fucking shadow killer
>everyone looks tense
>"hey user, what are you into?"
>tell them that I like hentai, mlp and Sup Forums
>"what's Sup Forums user?"
>that's it
>attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer
>he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my weight
>use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies"
>"what's a normie?"
>grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat
>smash it over the stupid cunts head
>shit's everywhere
>remember about my chicky tendies
>hurl myself at my bitch mom
>screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!!
>she's crying
>grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen
>say get to work bitch
>"user, you're 28, can't you make your own chicken tenders?"
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside

Fucking normies.

i'm screaming keep these up please

brb need to research what /e/ is

Hello new friend

>11pm, i'm in bed
>wake up with a hankering for tendies
>sneak downstairs even though it's past my bedtime
>see mummy and new daddy watching something on Cinemax
>be extra sneaky as i go past to the kitchen
>pull big box of tendies from freezer
>ham-handedly drop it and it makes a loud *THUNK*
>mummy hears it and thinks I'm a burglar
>new daddy rushes out of the room to investigate
>he runs into the kitchen and i shit and piss everywhere in fear
>he gets angry and starts yelling at mummy
>'why the fuck do we have to live with this fucking autistic creep! he's an adult for fuck's sake!'
>things get heated and he hits mummy
>big mistake
>pick up a fistfull of the shit and throw it in new daddy's face
>quickly jump on him, throw him to the ground, then sit on his face with my ample 340lb frame
>sit there for a while, new daddy stops moving
>command mummy to make me tendies
>she does
>now new daddy needs a special chair he controls with his mouth to get around
>he grimaces every time i walk past
>mummy makes me tendies every day, no quibbles

>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlys for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlys
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlys, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw

I fucking love this place and I love you guys. Thanks for a great thread

such a good son
god bless

>be me
>530 Lbs of mummy's golden child
>sitting on toilet squeezing out a big poo that I've held for a day
>finally drops out along with a BRRRRRAPPPPPPFFPPPPTHTHTHTPPP
>look in the bowl at my masterpiece, skidmarks longer than the M6
>"Mummy, MUMMY, come and see what I did!"
>mum unlocks the door from the outside using the special key for emergencies
>proudly point at the toilet bowl
>wow! You've done so well, and it's all in the bowl too! That's 10 good boy points
>clap my hands because I've been saving my good boy points for weeks, finally at 150
>cash them all in for a special hour with my catgirl
>mummy phones up the people who send the catgirl and talks with them
>hear girl arrive at the door and sit on the end of my bed and take off my jorts for the first time in 2 days
>can hear them talking downstairs
>"God, it's not him again is it? He's getting too large for me to do anything"
>hear mummy say "Please, we have a system and it's the only way I can get him to do anything"
>girl sighs and says "I have the catears headband too, I'll be wearing it again?"
>clap my hands because I can tell special time is about to begin
>girl comes into my room and meows and purrs
>have special fun time, she makes my peepee feel good
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
>she's really impressed
>eventually leaves after the hour is up
>mummy comes up with my snack of tendies for being such a good boy
>"enjoy your tendies, snookums, I have to leave now for my nightshift"
>eat my tendies in bed and dream about my waifu Morgana-san afterwards

How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.

>this has happened so many times her skull is calloused enough to tank the shot

>wake-up at 2PM
>Subconsciously shit in my MLP jammies while sleeping
>scream at the top of my lungs "MUUUUUUUUUUMMMYYYYYYYYYY"
>mummy silently lurks into the doorway to my room
>"y-y-yes, dear?"
>scream "GIVE ME CHANGIES AND FETCH ME CHICKEN TENDIES"
>mummy silent weeps to herself and walks over to my adult-sized crib with a fresh new pair of magic school-bus jammies
>start kicking and flailing my arms and legs because my tummy rumbles for tendies
>start to screech while mummy tries her best to not have another mental breakdown session
>start chanting "CHICKEN TENDIES YUMMY YUMMY FOR MY TUMMY"
>"user d-dear, you've already used all of the 20 piece bag from last night in one dinner, I-I...I..have to go get m-
>spring up and smash my body into hers, she screams and starts sobbing
>she pushes me out of the way as she runs downstairs
>yell "OUCHIES, YOU HURT YOUR GOOD LITTLE BOY" and start crying frantically
>chase after her, mummy locks herself in the bathroom
>start beating on the bathroom while screaming and crying "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR GOOD LITTLE BOY"
>Mummy is weeping loudly enough for the neighbors to hear
>cry even louder and accidentally shit new jammies
>use up all of the engine I had for the day crying
>crawl over to my scooby-doo playroom and roll up into a ball and fall asleep
>wake up at 9 PM, tucked in bed with clean jammies
>note from mummy: "I'm sorry user, I never meant to hurt you, always be my good little boy! I love you!"
>fresh plate of tendies on trash-littered computer desk
>shovel them into face
>fall back asleep satisfied

>wake up at 1pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she struggles to go to the kitchen without vomitting from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>colored most of it so I start drawing doodles outside the lines
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw

>chair
he couldnt stand you
EL OH EL OUT LOUDSHIFTONEONEONEONE
i r veyri jellos off ur waifu i haded 1 2 butt i dun noe da spell 2 maek h3r reel ;-;

>2am. Hungry
>Grab my bitch summoning stick. Bang it on the wall until Mommy arrives
>She takes ages to arrives. She's pregnant from some Chad who then dumped her
>Tell her I'm hungry and want to go to Burger King
>"No user, it's late. I have to work tomorrow
>Tell her it's no wonder Chad left after knocking her up and if she's not nicer to her Good Boy, he'll leave her too.
> Her eyes well up and she drives me to Burger King.
>I get a kid's meal and play with my toys for a while.
>Tell Mommy I want to be the Burger King and to get me a cardboard BK crown.
>She asks the manager but he says they're all out.
>I start screeching REEEEEEEE but Mommy says there's nothing she can do as there's no other Burger King's open at this hour.
>She drives me home. I sulk and watch Kung Fu Panda.
>I get an idea. I hide behind the couch and call Mommy into the room.
> When she arrives I kung fu chop her in the belly
>She rolls around on the ground, crying that she thinks I've hurt the baby.
>I pour my piss jug on her head and demand she apologises for not making me the Burger King and tells me I'm the best at Kung Fu.
>She keeps sobbing so I lock her in the cupboard until she learns her lesson.
>Fucking normies.

>be me
>Mummy's perfect little 22 year old
>Daddy passed away a few months ago from a hurt chest after yelling at me to get a job
>before he died he put a little me inside Mummy's tummy
>Mummy starts talking about how nice itll be to have a baby around again
>"But aren't I the baby?"
>"user, you know I'm going to need help raising the baby, you're going to be a big brother and that means responsibility."
>i get mad and tell the whore that I'm not going to share her with that thing inside her
>"user, its time to grow up."
>Mummy gets fat and starts asking me to do shit around the house
>changing my own diaper, answering the door, whatever
>"user, could you throw some chicken tenders in the oven for me and get me a prenatal vitamin shake, I've got a craving!"
>TOO
>FUCKING
>FAR
>go upstairs to Mummy's room and grab her nail polish remover off the nightstand
>go downstairs and pour it into stupid fucking healthy-baby drink
>grab her cunt-face
>"Open wide!"
>Mummy chokes down nasty smelling smoothie and starts to scream and cry
>I keep telling her itll be better this way but she wont stop trying to hit me
>shake all gone so I decide to head back to my room for a nap
>she can make up for everything shes done when I wake up
>Mummy calls 911 screaming about bleeding from her piss-flappy downstairs parts
>I stomp on her phone and tell the bitch that if she calls them again I'll put rat poison in the next smoothie
>Mummy lays on floor for a few hours before she drives herself to the hospital after I fall asleep
>Mummy disobeyed me but baby is gone now
>all is well

>be me
>playing cs:go
>mummy and new chocolate daddy are wrestling downstairs
>suddenly get a hunger for tendies
>walk over to my GBP board, waddling through the shit jugs and piss bottles
>i have 40 Good Boy Points...enough for an extra-large chicken tendie meal!
>i run downstairs to tell mummy
>bang on her bedroom door
>"Mummy, mummy, I have 40 GBP! I want tendies"
>she says "Sorry user, I'm busy, maybe you can cook the tendies that are in the freezer"
>BITCH JUST CROSSED A LINE
>i run back to my room crying and screaming and shitting my diapies
>get an idea
>i grab my special 5000 GBP damascus katana
>run back downstairs
>as I kickdown mummy's door i scream "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU FUCKING NORMALFAGS, SMELL MY SPECIAL DIAPEY SURPRISE!"
>chocolate daddy is confused
>i take off my diaper and throw it directly towards his head
>he screams and falls to the ground, my poop in his eyes
>i then unsheath my katana and chop off his pee pee
>he screams even louder
>"THAT MUTHA FUCKA CHOPPED MY DICK OFF I'LL FUCKIN KILL HIM CALL FUCKIN 91-"
>mummy hits chaddy with the night lamp and he falls limp
>she says he could be blind and that they need to put his pee pee back on or something
>leaves saying she'll take him to the hospital
>i wait 5 hours
>mummy comes back with an extra large chicken tendie meal and a mountain dew
>she's covered in mud and leaves for some reason
>whatever
>but you know what they always say!
>"It always endies with the tendies"
>mfw

i washed mommy wood got me a catgurl ;~;
>How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.
mai wasdum lobe grew tree tames ween i rad dat ¥+8=¥¥¥
;-; it r makded me veyri happeh just liek mai waifu :D

>Mommy has some new friends over for din-din
>They've all been drinking
>Mommy forgets to feed her baby
>Raging hatred fills my thoughts
>I move at an astounding .001 miles per hour down the stairs, wearing nothing but my big boy diaper
>Already out of breath from my long journey
>One of my Mommy's friends, Stacey, sees me and starts to scream
>I tower over her puny form

"MY TENDIES HAVE YOU HAVE NEGLECTED, NOW YOUR LIFE WILL BE AFFECTED"

>Throw her to the floor like a fucking rag doll
>She's pleading with me to stop, but I've only just begun

"MUMMY, MUMMY, COME COME HERE NOW, OR I WILL KILL THIS IMPRUDENT COW"

>Mommy appears in the hallway, a glass of wine in hand

"Oh hi user, I didn't know you were up-"

>She stops cold when she sees Stacey kneeling behind me

"H-hold on, sweetie, I'll get your tendies in a sec-"

"STACEY-WACEY BLOCKED MY PATH, NOW SHE SHALL FEEL MY WRATH"

>I squeeze out a big-boy tendie-shaped turd in Stacey's stupid mouth
>She vomits it back up in my anal cavity
>Ungrateful bitch

"MY POO-POO YOU HAVE REJECTED, SO NOW YOU PLEASE MY ACHING ERECTION"

>I cum in the horrid mixture of vomit and poopies
>Force her to eat it
>Mommy's calling 911
>Police arrive just as Stacey finishes her meal
>Start crying and explain to the officers that Mommy's friend tried to touch my wee-wee
>They take her away, Mommy just stares blank-faced
>Mfw

smert men
fakeng womanz :\
umg u had katana?????? if mai dik waas jellos i woud haved edjakul8d :D

>be at Burger King
>they have $1.49 for 10 nuggets deal
>this means I can order more nuggies!
>time to load up
>decide to get 200
>make ma-ma do the conversion from USD to GBP
>only 60 Good Boy Points for 200 nugnugs!
>I clean out their nuggie saucies (costs 0 GBP so I order extra, 1 sauce packet per 2 nuggies)
>my table looks like the famous Scarface scene but with nuggies instead of cocaine
>scarf down my nuggers n' sauce while ma-ma plays Candy Crush on her phone (shitty pleb game)
>mum tells me to slow down else I get a tum-tum ache
>stupid bitch thinks she can tell me what to do
>later that night I wake up with a big hurty poo
>rush-waddle to bathroom
>trip and fall before I reach toilet
>laying on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out and pooping all over the floor
>1 hour later i clean myself up in the toilet bowl and wake up mommy to clean my poopies
>didn't get my 50 GBP for sleeping through the night
>lose the 30 daily GBP bonus I get for keeping my poo-poos in the toilet
>can't go to sleep now
>do peepee fun rubby-squirty on the Baby Bop pages of my Barney and Friends picture book
>miss the pages and and get pee-pee mayonnaise all over my bedsheets
>mums get upset when she sees the stains and takes away the rest of my GBP
And that's why you never choose nuggies over tendies

...

>Wednesday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>user you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>user please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of piping hot chili
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.

gud 2 c da gourmet ace puroudley srevin hays gest

>mommy tells me she's going to take me to see the Last Jedi tonight
>She tells me to get into the car and warm it up as she puts her makeup on
>too big for the front so I waddle to the car and get in the middle back seat so I don't put too much weight on one side
>all of a sudden a guy runs up our driveway and takes mommy's car
>too distracted to notice me sitting in the backseat
>as he began to flee, I slouched in my seat deeper than ever before
>after 5 minutes, just enough time for him to feel safe, I spoke up in the monotone of a person who didn't understand the gravity of the situation
>"I am in the backseat, AMA"
>He was shocked and terrified by my non-nonchalance, causing him to lose control of Mommy's car and crash into a nearby Denny's.
>He was dead upon impact but I emerged without a scratch because I didn't tense up
>As I stepped out of the flaming wreckage, my strong legs glistening with sweat from the heat of victory and waifu pillow in hand, applause erupted throughout the establishment
>"Hero" they called me; a title I reluctantly accepted
>Unaffected by the commotion, I calmly walkedover to a booth and beckoned a beautiful Denny's waitress
>"No need for a menu" I said, "I'll be having 2 of everything"
>for the first time in my life, I ate at a restaurant without my Mom.

Was the Last Jedi any good?

>And that's why you never choose nuggies over tendies
¥¥¥+0=¥¥¥¥¥

>be me, a healthy, handsome, bouncy 31 year old baby boy
>come downstairs from an exhausting day of playing video games and consuming anime
>waifu really proud of me for coming in second in a game of PUBG and winning 8 of my 13 league of legends games
>tell mummy of my conquests, ask for some tendies
>she's tired and makes a small quip about her breast cancer
>remind mummy that her breast cancer isn't going to kill her
>she gives me a look
>remind the confused and bewildered female that I asked for tendies, chop chop
>"user, I have to get ready for work. I showed you how to make them yesterday."
>have no recollection of such events, politely inform her she's lying
>"That's ENOUGH. Go to your room."
>[ettv]wrong.move.bitch.S01E01.mkv
>assert my girth and alpha male dominance
>push mummy to the floor and choke her
>on the side of her neck mind you, as to not crush her windpipe. women love being choked, thanks redpill
>she lies on the floor and takes it like the submissive female she is
>after a few minutes stop and politely remind her I don't ask the same question twice
>she doesn't respond
>typical stacy
>return to my humble aboad upstairs as she starts flopping around and foaming at the mouth like a bitch in heat
>I've seen enough anime to know she's having an orgasm
>smirk realizing that I'm good looking enough to give even my own mom an orgasm without sexual penetration
That being said, my fellow Sup Forumsros, how do I break the news that I'm not sexually attracted to her when I go back downstairs tomorrow? I know she has an Oedipus complex, but I don't. Should I leverage this into more good boy points?

l3j3n'D
>Was the Last Jedi any good?
deependz eif u r a normie oar nut obliviviously

>be me
>mommy's big bouncing 400lb boy
>having a bubbly bubble bath in my reinforced steel tub
>making tendie flavoured bubbles from my poopy hole
>love feeling them tickle past my mighty 2 inch peepee
>squeeze extra to hard to make an extra big bubble
>suddenly the water turns to gravy
"REEEEEEE! MOMMY! I POO POOED IN THE BATHY TUB! NOW YOUR BABY YOU MUST SCRUB!"
>no answer
"MOMMY! THE WATER IS ALL BROWN AND STINKY! THERE'S TENDIE JUICE ON BABY'S WINKY!"
>still no response
>i lift my ample frame out of the brown smelly sludge
>it has rendered me covered in slippery poop juice
>slide my way downstairs on my belly to see mommy and another new chaddy daddy cuddling on the couch
"oh, user... i thought you were still in the bath... didn't you play with that plugged in toaster i gave you?"
"BABY POOPIED IN THE BATH! CLEAN IT UP OR FEEL MY WRATH!"
"listen champ, your mom and i are trying to watch the movie. how about you go upstairs and give us some private time. you might wanna clean up too, you smell like shit"
>i can feel my tard rage building
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab my loot crate exclusive replica minecraft sword and strike chaddy daddy in the head
"that's it you fat little shit! you're gonna get it!"
>he charges and attempts to grab me
>my shitty coating has turned me into a slippery brown seal
>i slip out of his grip and waddle upstairs towards the bathroom
"got you now bitch!"
>he charges me again but slips on a stray turdie tendie which sends him flying towards my rusty brown bath
>hold his head under the kf sea of poop as he struggles to fight for air
"DRINK MY RANCID TENDIE JUICE, THEN YOU AND I CAN FORM A TRUCE!"
>suddenly he stops breathing
>he must be dead lol
>talk to mommy
"CHADDY DADDY DROWNED IN CRAP! NOW MOMMY MUST TAKE THE RAP!"
"sure user, prison has to better than this"
>get tendies at the police station
>turns out the death penalty is legal in this state
>mommy BTFO

I guess she should've taken better care of her baby.

Gimme gimme chicken tendies, Be they crispy or from Wendys. Spend my hard-earned good-boy points, on Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints. Mummy lifts me to the car, To find me tendies near and far. Enjoy my tasty tendie treats, in comfy big boy booster seats. McDonald's, Hardee's, Popeye's, Cane's, But of my tendies none remains. She tries to make me take a nappy, But sleeping doesn't make me happy. Tendies are the only food, That puts me in the napping mood. I'll scream and shout and make a fuss, I'll scratch, I'll bite, I'll even cuss! Tendies are my heart's desire, Fueled by raging, hungry fire. Mummy sobs and wails and cries, But tears aren't tendies, nugs or fries. My good-boy points were fairly earned, To buy the tendies that I've yearned. But there's no tendies on my plate! Did mummy think that I'd just ate? "TENDIES TENDIES GET THEM NOW, YOU FAT, UNGRATEFUL, SLUGGISH SOW!" I screech while hurling into her eyes, My foul-smell bowel-dwelling diaper surprise. For she who is un-pooped on is she who remembers: Never forget my chicken tenders.

Ask your mom and dad how they coped.

>5AM
>bitch of a mother is being loud as hell
>why can't she leave me in peace doesn't she know 3-6AM are fappy and nappy time
>I hear a loud thump
>reeeeeeee this bitch she can't do anything right
>I reeee at her until she just says 'sorry hun-huns'
>that's it, I can't stand this bitch anymore
>I yell back at her
>'I don't want a sorry i demand 50 good boy points and i will kill the hamster if you don't do it'
>fag op mom better deliver
>All this yelling has really been strengthing my peepee
>I decide I will man up i am a man now and I will follow through
>I grab the hamster which mommy gave to me something about turning 30 and being a big boy and learning responsibility
>she doesn't understand i am still a growing boy
>look at hamster
>the hamster has a large poopyhole
>le big idea.jpeg
>I say to hamster odds fap evens sleep
>I slide my hard peepee all the way into the hamsters asshole, casuing it to instantly spray blood averywhere from being torn open
>I guess two and 5/8 inches is too much for anyone to handle
>Oh man this is almost as good as tendies
>start to edge so I pull out
>hard peepee drenched in blood and tiny entrails
>Suddenly my door opens
>I forget to reee and instead my peepee shoots googoo all over mommy's nice work clothing
>'mommy you bitch get back in the kitchen i need tendies'
>I see her just fall on her knees and start crying
>I reeeee as loud as I can until she gets back up and runs away from my room
>Great now I have to scoop the peepee googoo'd into my peepee poopoo googoo jar
>why do i still let her live in this house

brb in n3ed off resurrection
u canned brek it 2 her adn maybee l0s3 sum poits or u had 2 d0 1t l8r adn l0s3 m0ar poits butt i had a teaori bout u cud maek h3r n0t li3k u adn seh w1ll brek upp w/ u adn gaived u poits butt i t4nk dat wood b3 v31ry h4rd

>be 35 year-old virgin NEET
>wake up at 6pm
>glance at my GBP board
>*gasp*
>momsey raized my Tendies by 5GBP EACH!
>Fucking makin me a bitch boy
>Go online lookin for advice
>I heard Reddit is helpfull
>Crawl through forest of NeckBeards
>Fined haven of the Gods!
>/r/Redpill
>Turns out momsey is just a whore needing an Alpha
>Must sell Beta Bux for RedPills
>Check Momsey's drawers, normie bitch has packets of Control pillz !!!
>Controll pillz will suffice
>Tear open packs swallow every last fucking Control pill
>I AM ALPHA
>I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH
>I AM REDPILL
>Momsey walks in screaming at me, give her knowing smile, punch that bitch in her baby maker
>I AM ALPHA! I continue to shout while beating my chest like a Silverback Gorilla
>Pull out my peepee n slap momsey as she cries salty tears
>Belly is all Rumbly Tumbly, Control pills must be workin
>Start slapping Momsey showing my true dominance, I don't need no GBP I scream in her fucking normie face!!!!
>Black the Fuck out


>Wake up in hospital, stomach freshly pumped now Im hungry as fuck!
>Momsey crying in corner
>MFW nurse gives me pile of chicken tendies...
ALPHA AS FUCK!

>be newly 26 year old neet
>celebrated my birthday yesterday
>go to Burger King for lunch
>don't have to spend GBP 'cause it's my birthday
>get 3 10 piece nuggets for 1.49 each and 2 things of tendies fries
>want more but self concious of what the cashier would think so make mom get me a whopper and some more chicken fries and some normal fries
>we leave and go home
>on the way we pass by a McDonald's, I tell her I need to use the restroom so we stop there
>ask if I can get an ice cream cone since it's my birthday
>all she has is a 50 so she tells me to give her the change
>walk into mcdicks
>order 3 Big Macs (they aren't really that big) 3 large fries, 3 large cokes (the Big Macs fries and cokes come in a combo meal), and 20 McNuggets
>get back to the car and say sorry
>realize I didn't get an ice cream
>run back in and get one
>eat the whole way home while listening to my mom bitch at me
>get home, put an extra large serving of popcorn on the stove
>grab a 18oz bag of Fritos to eat while I wait for my popcorn to pop
>bring the rest of the Fritos and the popcorn upstairs to eat while I browse Sup Forums
>an hour later we go to Red Robin for my birthday dinner
>get wings, nachos, fried pickles, a full onion ring tower + tendies as an appetizer
>wash it all down with choccy milk
>next order a chili cheeseburger with bottomless steak fries
>THE FRIES WEREN'T BOTTOMLESS

The following is completely true. Unlike the rest of you idiots I actually live the dream!

>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make poo
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Poo-poo is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>*vroom-vroom*
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"user, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"user stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this I say.
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my Dinosaur Kingdom table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and stuffed animals
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room, rubbing her fresh bruise
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No. Regretful? Certainly not.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.

If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.

N0R/V\13Z :\
and so the vault dweller's life came to an end

>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling

Good day today.

The only part I believe is that you are 29 years old and living with Mom.

i canted fined ani pillz >>>>:(
(they aren't really that big)1tz 0K k1k3z g0t0 HEHLL
mai fr3nd u shud g3t de woodean tra1enz adn
dah trakz u w1ll l0v3 1t it r make poopee mix
gaem evan moar funz! :D

>be me
>playing club penguin trying to hook up with bitches
>my mum comes in and says that after I lost her her job I should get a part time job
>I tell her to fuck off
>she sighs
>"I-i-t's okay, user. It's not your fault you're special."
>Stupid bitch. Why does everyone need to tell me that?
>Ffwd 1 month later
>now she just wears really red lipstick, fishnets and short skirt and goes upstairs every night with a male friend to play 'games' with a locked door.
>lying bitch, how can we still be poor and she can still play around?
>sometimes I hear beating and her crying.
>note to self: buy noise-cancellation headphones with GBP.
>my tummy is hungry
>I go upstairs and knock on the door
>"MUMMY YOUR BEST BOY IS HUNGRY. I WANT TENDIES."
>no answer
>I put my ear against the door
>hear them exercising
>faggots must have put in earpiece and listening to music
>no one fucks with my tendies
>go to backyard
>climb up tree outside mummy's window
>am big-boned but tendies motivate me
>see their silhouette behind curtain
>he's helping her do sit ups
>I am Enzio Auditore
>swing like pendulum and crash through window
>I roll gracefully and crash into mummy's drawer
>don't know why they're not wearing clothes, it's not that hot
>her friend is spilling mayonnaise on her face
>her male friend goes wtf
>he storms out and says he'll never "spend money on a stupid whore again"
>mummy just sits there and cries
>I bang on my chest and scream "I WANT TENDIES"

Tfw when she already left cooked tendies on the dining table before all that.

sumtaims i liek 2 tink w/ mai hed wen i lie in bed
haha dat mai waifu i reel butt i cant maek her
reel yet zo i pereetnd seh iz adn seh r mai
gurlfrAnd adn it maded mai hoel in mai tummies
giggel :D
u reed 1t u had 2 b3el34V3 1t :D dat r de r00l3z!

>4 am
>happy tummy full of tendies
>be right in the middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY"
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddy left (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown tendy-log in my XXL diapey - i'm mummys big baby boy, she always says that :)
>i plop down in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of fresh tendy-log and 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
>mummy grabs orange bottle from nightstand and rewards herself extra-helping of sleep candies, hehee she deserves it!
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
> the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many tendies and GBP await me for not waking her up!!

> NEET in the making
> 23 years old and 240lbs momma boy
> Discovered how delicious tendies are
> gaming all day, all night
> sometimes because I forget mom brings tendies up my room
> daddy insists on me getting a job
> can't find one because economy
> Start to make income by creating bots to farm gold and shit in WoW
> Because of the time it takes to set up the bots and manage my funds I can't leave room
> Start to piss in empty milk jugs
> Tendies want out again
> No choice but to shit in another jug
> give daddy money from my bots to shut him up
> I slowly detoriate into a full fledged NEET
> my neck gets t h i c c
> my beard gets long and greasy
> my hair too
> clothes go from XXL to XXXXL
> room starts to smell like plague ridden towns in the middle ages
> still get my funds going
> lose will to socialize
> start to harass mom and dad when they don't feed me
> discover Sup Forums one day
> mfw they all write stories about me

>I am Enzio Auditore
AXEDAYDAYDAYSHIFTONESHIFTONESFBACKSPACEHIFTONE
user i r told3d u naow so u r noed urmum r n0t eggsercisang SEH R HAD ADNTHER SUNNY BOI ADN U R HAD B34NED CUCKER00ZD

>wake up at 3pm
>fill piss bottle
>waddle out to check GBP board
>finally reached 100 for not shitting in the car yesterday
>REEEEEEEEE in excited delight so loud and high the window cracks
>too out of breath to walk
>roll into kitchen where mummy is doing the budget
"MUMMY MUMMY NOW IS FUN DAY TIME FOR TENDIE SPECIAL SUNDAE"
>mummy slowly looks up, her eyes wide and quivering
"b-but I-I have to work today and that takes four hours to make..."
>heave myself upright, all 450 pounds
>face is bright red and sweating bullets from exertion and fury
"NOW I SPEND MY GBP, SO MAKE TENDIES TO PLEASE ME"
"I c-can't... we don't have any..."
>what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch
>begin quaking with apoplectic rage, jiggling like a triple decker jello mold
>throw mummy to the ground and start tearing off her only dress
"YOU FORGET TO BUY THE MEAT, SO NOW IT'S YOU WHO MUST EAT! I AM NO LONGER BENDY, SO NOW YOU SUCK MY TENDIE!"
>shove my cock in mummy's mouth
>haven't washed in months of course
"TOASTIE ROASTIE! DUMMY MUMMY!"
>mummy pulls away gagging and sobbing
>it's ok, five seconds was long enough
"SPRAYO MAYYYOOOOOOOO"
>blast all over mummy, grunting and moaning like a semi passing on the highway
>inexplicably have huge volume despite jacking it eight times a day
>make sure to get it everywhere
>point and laugh
"CUMMY TUMMY! CUMMY TUMMY!"
>laboriously turn around and shift backwards
"STUPID BITCH COLD LIKE ICE! NOW MIXED WITH CREAM THAT'S NICE! REMEMBER I'M THE BOSS! NOW ADD THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!"
>spray diarrhea all over mummy for solid minute
"ROASTIES MAKE ME WARY, CUZ THEY LACK A CHERRY! NOW SUNDAE IS COMPLETE! ONE IN CHARGE IS THE NEET!"
>wheeze and collapse from exhaustion, falling on top of mummy and trapping her underneath layers of fat
>takes three hours until strong enough to roll back to couch
>piss myself five times
>grind trail of filth into carpet while rolling
>mummy gets hose and mop, starts cleaning me up
"w-who's my b-big boy..."

1 wash3d 1t w4r m04R L13K D1Z
u r pleid w0w can u r show3d mi haow 2 cast spell?

>be me
>mommies good boy
>wake up at 3am after fouling myself in the middle of my short 11 hour nap.
>tum tum grumbles and rumbles
>time for tendies is the message my tummy sendies.
>scream: MUMMY MUMMY TIME FOR TENDIES ALSO TROUSERS NEED A CHANGIES
>Hear faint sobbing
>hmm a mummy crying? there can be no denying she must be punished for all that crying.
>roll out of bed and knock shit jugs onto my favourite waifu pillow again.
>mummy will have to clean that after I have finished with it.
>waddle out of basement and go to mummies room
>crying is getting louder, and making me madder.
>use my stealth ninja skills to sneak up stairs
>bitch must've used samurai detection as she stopped crying and said a cuss.
>kick open door, so it lands on the floor
>see new daddy on top of mummy, suddenly it was clear. mommy wanted to give me tendies but new daddy stopped it.
>as I inhale air into my big boy I see mummy start to cry again daddy looks scared until I use my secret move
>an ear curdling REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE leaves my mouth.
>My vision starts to fade and i nearly lose balance but persist.
>when it ends new daddy's ears are bleeding.
>drag him out of bed as he screams he can't here anything.
>throw him downstairs and use my warrior leap to land on him at the bottom of the stairs.
>start jumping up and down on him, screaming naughty daddy you have been baddy now my tendies mummy can sendies.

The fucker doesn't even move and stopped screaming after i throwed him, mummy scurries down the stairs weeping she must've been happy to get me my tendies.

>TFW I clicked on this thread

>3 PM
>wake up after all-nite playstation marathon
>feel the morning hungies
>expect my morning tendies left out by mummy before her wageslave time
>waddle my way into the kitchen
>no tendies
>mummy forgot my tendies
>anger fills my gelatinous body
>angry poopies overcome me and i poopsie on the floor
>smear poopsie all over floor and roll around in it
>lay there for a while
>the smell of hot, churned tendies-poopie fills the air
>wageslave mom returns home at 5 PM
>i tackle her and scream "BIG BOY HUNGIE FOR TENDIES"
>she screams out "user, WHAT HAPPENED?!"
>"MUMMY DIDN'T LEAVE MORNING TENDIES BIG BOY HUNGIE"
>she tries to reason with me as my shell of poopie cracks off covering her in dried poopies
>"A-user, I'm so sorry. I actually took the day of today to go on a d-date. There was a guy at the office, and..."
>"MUMMSIE WUMSIE IS MINE ME NEED TENDIES"
>angry poopsies water dribbles through my undie wundies
>"MUMMY MINE"
>poopie doopie makes my undies droopie until a hole bursts open releasing my tendies goop all over mummy
>mummy begins to cry and vomit
>i cover myself in poopsie and begin screeching
>mummy is covered in my liquid-poopsie, crying
>i smack her in the face with poopie covered man milkies
>mummy keeps and says "You're such a good, big boy, user. I'll get you tendies now, a-and I won't go out on any more dates."
>victory waddle back to beanbag chair and celebrate with more playstation
>mummy comes and serves me a triple tendie-dindin and tells me I'm her best boy
>mfw

I SHOR WASH3D I HAD3D 9JA SK1LLZZZZ
BUT I ONLY R HAD SAMOORAI M0V3S FR0M
GIGGEL ANIMES ANY1 REKOMAND 9JE
ANIMEZ? PLZ I TRAYDYED NAR0OTTU BUTT
N1NJUTUSU IS 2 HARD 4 MEI >;( I CRAI

PLEHSTASZHION????????????
muts bee 1 off dose h4rdc0RE@ weebooz
oh well he do noe haow 2 treet mommy w/
respkt adn nut bee cookeddoozelezed

...

>sitting in room
>finish plate of tendies mummy made just for me
>hmm, I want some more!
>decide to play a prank on mummy (might cost some gbp, but fun is fun)
>rig one of my pee pee bottles to pour on whoever opens my door
>position my wittle bottom towards the door as well and pull down my diaper
>bang my steel drum to get her attention (at 30 gbp I simply had to!)
>MUMMY MUMMY, I WAS HUNGRY, NOW I'M FULL SO RUB MY TUMMY!
>Hear mummy coming
>A grin grows across my face as she draws near, my eyes crinkle and a "teehee!" slips out
>Mummy enters the room
>my pee pee pours in a steady stream on her head
>At the same time I begin blasting her with my nasty poo poo, coating her in a thick baby waby green layer!
>heehee! messy mummy messy mummy I say rhymically as she is covered in my nasty
>She doesn't say a word as my prank plays out
>finish my poo, turn and sit bare bottomed on the floor, leaving a wittle poopy stain
>mummy, did you wike my joke? ga ga goo goo!
>I begin giggling and drooling while slapping my wittle feetsies together as applause
>She does say anything
>Mummy, waugh at my wittle joke!
>I can see tears running through my pee pee and poo poo on her face
>Mummy, you don't want to upset your perfect wittle boy do you?
>She is still fighting
>My eyes sharpen and I drop my voice do a gravely, gutteral tone
>Listen you normie cunt, laugh at your sons prank or I'll kill you and kill myself, I'll drag you into the bath and slit your wrists while I fuck your fat whore ass
>Punch her in the face for good measure, hard enough to leave a black eye
>Mummy sees reason and lets out a chuckle
>heehee! I think that deserves 20 gbp for being such a funny and creative prank, don't you mummy!?
>She does a sort of weird nod and walks out of my playpen
Good Boy Points is too easy to get, even when being a naughty boy! She even took me out for more tendies that day, at no cost!

>go out with fairly hot chick from work
>awesome date
>find out she has a 400 lb abusive neet at home who can't shit in a toilet or wash himself
>she spends the night at my place and i fuck her brains out
>convince her to commit the 400lb autistic neckbeard.
>help her get mental health people involved, she has a mental breakdown at their office
>Later that day, police, fire departemnt, and ambulance show up to corner this autistic fucker out.
>Cops & paramedics try to call him out
>starts flinging shit
>fire dept keks
>cop yells "light this motherfucker up"
>ZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAPPPPP
>flopping neckbeard and burnt shit fill everyone's nostrils
>paras give the autismo a good ol shot of sleeping nummies
>fire dept. and paramedics get fatfuck mcgee out
>lock up place, call cleaning crew
>fatty mctendies gets committed
>chick comes back emotionally, still sees psycholigist. blames everything on autistic frog worshiping neckbeards

it r shekelbury's fuatl dat anonz mum r not
makeded haze dye funzies da k1k3Z r
reeezpoonsable 4 d1z a1nfiting! butt 1t r OI

>Be me, working on my minecraft peaceful world
>mummy comes in, hands up in submission
>"a-user... It's time for your doctors appointment..."
>look her dead in the face
>"if you make me go to that jew Doctor I'm going to shit in your fucking bed."
>"now user, if you behave... I'll give you a triple Tendie meal from anywhere you want."
>sold, but resolve to give her as hard a time as possible to punish her for not just GIVING me the triple tendies for being her perfect little baby boy
>get in the car
>"oh boy mommy, I really do need to go to the docy docs! I am feeling so... Sick!"
>shit my big boy pants
>she screams at me to get out of the car so she can clean it, say no, docy docs now!
>she reluctantly drives me over, go inside office and wipe my shit on the Windows
>she apologizes, pays for damages and we wait for the doctor
>mommys shoe starts to dangle off her heel
>start jerking off
>mommy sees me and desperately whispers at me to stop before someone notices
>moan as loud as I can
>she's in tears now
>look her in the eye
>"Touch my cock, whore." I say loud enough for the whole room to hear
>she sobs loudly and shakes her head no
>pinch her nipple and twist until she agrees to gives me cummies
>Doctor calls me in, immediately call him a kike
>spend whole checkup farting, pissing, and belching strategically to ruin the doctors day
>checkup finally ends, mom is still sobbing
>"triple Tendie time now mummy!"
>lets out a louder sob and rushes to the car, me in pursuit
>"wh-where do you want tendies from, user?"
>tell her I want wendies tendies
>she takes me to wendies, and we discover, to her horror, that they only have nuggets now.
>REEEEEEEEE at her while pissing and punching myself
>she rushes me home and leaves me there, saying she'll be back soon with as many tendies as I can eat
>comes home 20 minutes later with 7 orders of Popeyes tendies
>smile and thank her
>she sighs with relief and decides to take a nap after her ordeal
>Left a surprise in her bed

fake

>playing CoD3
>my belly starts to rumble
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"user, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through my flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>THE BITCH MADE ME BAKED CHICKEN
>clench fists hulk-style and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>"user SMASH!"
>just like my hero saitama knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello user how was your dinn-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>"MOMMY FAILED TO COMPLY, NOW SHE ten-DIES"
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>"user NO PLEASE STOP!"
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>"user ILL MAKE YOU TENDIES JUST PLEASE STOP!"
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her pull a handful of what i think are tic-tacs from an orange bottle and put them into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor!
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CS:GO
>8hrs later still no tendies

compressed timeline, but it's not a fake. Chick i know had a lazy autistic fuckhead son who refused to use the toilet and was shitting in a corner of his room. Took her a while to come back emotionally, but we have been together for a year and a half. Fucktard is still committed. He likes to fling feces and act retarded so they keep him doped up most of the time.

>mummy says she can't afford to look after me and pay for all my tendies and my WoW subscription
>tells me I should apply for thta part time job at Lickin' Chicken to help with the bills
>start hyperventilating, going extremely red like a tomato (YUCK!)
>who does that bitch think she is
>hit her in her stupid old face with my fists and scream at her until she stops talking and leaves
>flash forward several weeks
>mummy hasn't talked about me getting a job since then
>she gets dressed up in fishnet stockings and very red lipstick and goes out all night, every night now, leaving chicken tendies in the microwave that I have to go all the way downstairs to heat up myself
>mfw
>later I find out mummy sent in an application to Lickin' Chicken for me and I got an interview
>I'm sitting in my swimming shorts on my big meowth cushion (MEE-OWTH THAT'S RIGHT!) trying to play WarioWare Touched on my Nintendo when she tells me about it
>MUMMY SHUT UP. SHUT UP MUMMY I'M TRYING TO BEAT ASHLEY
>fucking cunt hole tries to reason with me so I tell her
>WHO'S THE GIRL NEXT DOOR LIVING IN A HAUNTED MANSION YOU BETTER LEARN MY NAME CAUSE I'M ASHLEY
>jump up and down stomping my feet
>at the interview mum tries to stop me playing my DS
>I keep headbutting her until she lets me carry on
>the stupid man interviewing me asks me what I could bring to Lickin' Chicken
>keeping my eyes glued to the screen, I stand up and start a one-man conga around the small office singing I LIKE CHICKEN TENDIES. THE FLAVOUR NEVER ENDIES.
>anyway I didn't get the job, whatever, fucking normies said I would only earn 200 a week, I can make that just by staying in my bed all night and not getting into mummy's bed. Ka-ching!

died u lern dose tr1

>Wake up at 8 PM after my nappy-wappy
>Remembered I've been a really good boy today
>Go to check my Good Boy Point (GBP) whiteboard
>30 GBP
>Enough to go in the playroom AND get a tendie meal with ranch dipping sauce
>Wade through my piss bottles and shit jugs to get to my door
>Waddle over to mummy's room
>"Mummy! Mummy! I've been a good boy and I want to go to the pwaywoom!"
>Mummy checks my chart and leads me to the playroom
>As she unlocks the playroom, she tells me that she'll get my tendies ready
>I quickly remind her, "Don't fowget the wanch!!"
>rush into the playroom and fall over headfirst onto the racecar mat.
>begin playing with my blocks
>One hour later
>Door opens and she has my tendies, except...
>No ranch dip
>"BITCH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY TENDIES. I NEED RANCH DIPPING SAUCE TO FULLY ENJOY MY TENDIES."
>"y-you never asks for ranch, sweetums..."
>"WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR NUMBER ONE BOY!?!?"
>"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL MOM!?"
>"d-don't worry user, I'll go right back down to get your ranch..."
>Throw one of my blocks at her and it hits her straight in the eye
>That's gonna leave a bruise.
>"SERVES YOU RIGHT, NORMIE BITCH! NOW GO BACK DOWN AND MAKE ME SOME MORE TENDIES!"
>Lean in close to her ear
>Shout "AND DON'T FORGET THE RANCH."
>She leaves crying
>Notice I made some wawa in my nappy.
>Mum comes back and changes me while I enjoy my ranch-dipped tendies
>She's still crying
>mfw i free tendies & gbp next week all week cause momma's big boy turns 30

it r st1ll fak3 adn no31 caer adn u r retuded sry
if u dindu had3d naic pactur3 i wood had mai
uncl donald trump use nuuk on ur adrezz feel
lukky kid? cuz u r hahaha dum kiddz

> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> mfw its 03:00am
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "NOT NOW SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> challenging me at this hour?
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair.
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> victory.ogg
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies
> puts hot plate of tendies in front of me and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.

I LIEK SHEKEN TENDIES TEH FLAYVOUR NEVAR ENDIES!

>be 32 year old beautiful, happy bouncy baby boy with a bright future ahead of me
>6pm, just woke up, getting my morning ceweals
>enter mommy, she sits down in front of me as i happily pick apart the marshmellows in the cereal and eat them with a spoon full of milkies
>"honey, your dad and i have been talking, and we think its finally time for you to get a job..."
>i stop her immediately after that
>"mommy...what are you...?"
>an incomprehensible rage takes over me, i quickly lash out at mommy
>grab the poopy diaper that she hasnt fucking changed since last night
>throw it right at her face, makes a big splat sound and she falls back from the force and velocity of the poopy diaper smacking her
>as she is stunned and wiping the poopies off, i stand over her with my fists clutched, she is cowering with her hands over her face, stupid fucking bitch
>i remind her that baby doesnt like it when his diaper changing bonding with mommy time is forgotten
>start peeing all over her, she probably wants to be washed off by now
>give her a black eye just for good measure so she doesnt tell anyone what happened
>later that night, she comes in with a plate full of fresh wendys tendies and a new diaper, kisses my forehead and tells me to have a good night at 10 am

i r liek 2 zzzzzzz in front of tendies too
TELL ME ALL YOUR SECRETS teech me bout da juice adn de3r majick! >:D

>be me
>be 500lb normie slayer
>wake up at 7 in the evening
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are too heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>now i start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my folds of fat to warm
>crawl back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 5 hours while eating fat-thawed tendies
>finally decide to pick up the phone and call the popo b/c I'm a good boy
>hear sirens approaching
I hope they take away my abusive mommy and give me a new tendie vendor

>ceweals
4yyy 1m40 r we all dezentendz off c00l pir8z????

>normie slayer
>dojo
tru 2 pepe