Be orchid collector

>be orchid collector
>have over 500 specimens in my private conservatory, as well as hundreds more tropical species
>all of my friends and associates always applaud my encyclopedic knowledge of plants and say how smart I am
>they all assume I'm an eco-freak
>giving girlfriend's friends tour of my greenhouse
>"Wow, you must be really sad about all the stuff that's happening to the Earth."
>"What do you mean?"
>"Like global warming and shit and all that stuff."
>explain that I don't really believe in all that hype, my studies of botany and ecology have led me to believe that the Earth is a constantly changing ecosystem, just because life dies out in one place doesn't mean it isn't reappearing somewhere else
>they start laughing and claiming that I'm "really ignorant"
>I ask them if they have any knowledge of ecology other than all the pot they smoke (massive stoners)
>"Alright man chill. We gotta get going. I was going to ask you if I could grow some bud in this place but you're like a Bible-thumper haha"

I fucking hate liberals so much.
>tl;dr
Why do people blindly believe in global warming and other associated scares without having seen ANY evidence or ANY climate models come true, and then bash Christians for believing the "words someone else told them?"

How hypocritical can one be?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=BB0aFPXr4n4
youtube.com/watch?v=LJDgVlv55Uw
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Good goy

bump?

...

I'm also an orchid collector. Never thought I'd see a channer also collecting them. Where did you graduate from?

Purdue University, not in botany though. I actually majored in physics, orchids and botany has just always been a hobby of mine since I was a kid. I turned my parents' sunroom into an orchid nursery with about 100 specimens by the time I was 17, haha.

I didn't get laid a lot in high school, needless to say.

>>I didn't get laid a lot in high school, needless to say.

didn't see that one coming

You're cool. That hobby is probably therapeutic as hell. Is botany friendly to beginners?

What is a good orchid specie for the inexperienced cultivater?

Should have said because of the increase in CO2 over the past decade the planet is significantly greener than it was before, so you're happy about that. Because that's true, and they can't argue against that the planet having more robust plant life is a bad thing.

Oh man, very nice. Same thing happened to me in high school, and I built a small greenhouse to house my collection. Studying plant breeding and genetics now.

Not OP, but also a orchid grower. Try phalaenopsis (really common, found in Walmart), cymbidium, cattleya, or oncidium. Once you master those you can move onto the rarer genera.

I'd love to see some pics of your collection.

BTW most orchids easily available to the public are complex hybrids; species are rarer and usually harder to care for

Very much so! Don't be intimidated by all the terminology and names, it comes with time. Trust me, when I first started, I had no idea the difference between a Paphiopedilum, Phalaenopsis, or Brassolaeliocattleya. It was all Latin to me. But as you spend hands-on time with the plants, it all falls in place.

If you can garden, you can take care of orchids. They are actually very resilient plants, found on nearly every continent in every biome. There are tricky species, yes, but there are others that require little maintenance.

And of course, orchids aren't the only plants you may have an interest in. It's really just about paying attention to your plants and their needs. People often forget they're alive. They can't bark to tell you they want something like a dog, so you have to notice little things about them. The leaves getting darker might mean the plant isn't getting enough light; too bright green, maybe too much. Silvery roots? Water more often. Mushy roots? Let it drain and aerate for a while.

It really isn't hard. Nobody is born with a green thumb, you get one through a lot of experience.

And it's very satisfying to grow and cultivate these beautiful treasures of the Earth. Over time, it will almost seem like they're your friends, especially if you're an introvert like me.

Gardening is pretty awesome, desu. I'm a huge faggot and even I garden.

I wonder which site has more made up stories: Sup Forums or Tumblr

Do you have Pink Lady's Slipper orchids in your fancy pants collection?

I should probably delete this girl who talks just like this

This. Don't be discouraged if your first few plants die.

Do you like bonsai trees? I had one that I bought last 6 months, and I've been planning on getting another.

Are orchids expensive? What are they like?

Phalaenopsis is THE go-to orchid for beginners. Paphiopedilum is also very easy to care for, but requires a bit more attention.

You can get Phals. at places like Wal-Mart, but beware. After the flowers drop, you'll have to repot them because they keep them in horrible, wet, hot, and bright conditions. They'll often have root rot, crown rot, and sunburn if you pick one up towards the end of the season. All of these problems can be fixed if you have the drive, but its better to get them towards the beginning of summer and get them on a proper watering and lighting cycle.

A friend of mine who collects orchids specializes in "rescuing" Phals. from places like Home Depot, Wal-Mart, etc. He has about 60 Phals. that are all perfectly healthy and thriving since he's gotten ahold of them.

post sexy orchids

So right now is a good time to get a Phal?

I have a few bonsai trees, yes. I love them, though I'm not as experienced with them as I am orchids (I only got my first one about 3 years ago).

Orchids, in general, are not expensive. There once was a time when it was a hobby only for the super-rich, like landed nobility in England, because massive expeditions had to be launched to the jungles to procure rare specimens. Nowadays, this isn't the case, and many commercially available orchids are easily raised in captivity and cloned.

You should be able to get most very pretty orchids for about $20-$40 a plant, sometimes cheaper. A more rare specimen (usually a species, not a hybrid) will set you back $100 or $200. Very rare orchids go for much more, in the thousands.

And then there are some that are just priceless. The critically endangered Ghost Orchid (notoriously hard to grow, and which I am currently trying to grow right now), takes years of very meticulous care to raise to flowering size. Most die in the first year. Most of the rest in the years after. But for those that raise it to maturity, it is something they will never want to part with.

Phalaenopsis and most other orchids are epiphytes, meaning they grow on trees in their native habitat. When reporting you'll want to use a mix with sterilized bark as the main component.
Paphiopedilums are terrestrial but can also do well in bark. Some paphs (and related phragmipedium) are grown in sphagnum moss.

I've always thought that people who did this shit were serial killers, but perhaps that's just the media portrayal.

This is the best thread on Sup Forums right now.

Shall I post plants on my wishlist?

>show power level to stoners
>dont like results

#justopthings

Yes.

>pic relate: Cochleanthes amazonica, one of my favorites

Are you able to pay for your hobby by like selling them and stuff or what?

Have you read Laura's diary, OP?

That's beautiful op

gardening is hella fun. i got over my divorce with petunias. no homo

>collect 500 flower vaginas
>get laughed at
sounds about right

By all means, I love seeing the tastes of other orchid collectors.

I'm particularly fond of Paphs. and Blcs., but recently I've been trying to get into Neofinetias. They just seem too weeb for me.

>tfw live in second floor apartment so don't have a garden

Oh I'm not a collector or anything. These are just plants I'd like to get at some stage...if I ever manage to afford a house.

Blindly? Almost all research out there shows we are having a negative impact on the planet.

No were not causing some day after tomorrow BS but the ozone layer didn't punch a hole in itself, ice caps don't shrink as fast as they are under normal circumstances, the rain forests of the world aren't cutting themselves down, etc.

You are right in one aspect, the Earth is an ever changing ecosystem and life and death are basically two sides of the same coin as far as nature is concerned.

But to say humanities actions haven't had a substantial negative impact on the planet, and that we aren't accelerating climate change is absurd.

You can grow a Fern a Bonsai or even an Orchid in doors if you get a light for it, or if you have a porch you can put them during the day.

No, I usually just pick up an orchid or two every month or so. I suppose in the long run it adds up, but it doesn't seem like it does when you only spend $20-60 a month on them. I mean that's less than I pay for gas a month. Granted, I'm sure the cost of fertilizer and stuff has added up over the years, as well as the big up-front cost of the greenhouse I had constructed, but I never really sell my plants.

Usually when I make a division I'll give that plant to another orchid collector to raise, only occasionally charging a moderate fee if it's a relatively expensive plant ($100+)

I'm not OP lol

Just another orchid grower

>Maxillaria grandiflora

How the hell there are orchid growers on Sup Forums?
I thought that this hobby is only for botanical garden administrating flower'n'cat ladies.
PS. I keep bees.
Saving the Pollinator race.

I get really shitty light unfortunately. Maybe two hours a day at most of direct sunlight.

How do I grow poppy flowers? Which part of the US is most hospitable to these plants? Thanks.

It's the beast thread because plebbitors don't care about anything if it's not filled with memes.

Hey, you don't need a garden to grow one of these things. Some of the easier orchids like brassolaeliocattleyas, miltoniopsis, and phalaenopsis can be grown in the house.

I love bees. I used to sit and watch them for hours at the botanical gardens.

Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like we don't make a difference. We absolutely do. Deforestation is, I believe, our biggest impact. As well as the depletion of soil in shitskin countries where they don't understand crop rotation.

That said, a lot of it is overhyped. The media said 20 years ago Miami would be underwater by now, and then every decade climate scientists change their minds in order to have a constant looming threat, a new prophecy, whenever the last one failed.

In that way, libs are like the old Millennials, who would constantly believe whatever hocus-pocus preacher told them Jesus was coming. And every single time he was wrong, they would still believe him.

We have a big impact on the planet, but the Earth is a massive ecosystem, much larger than people give it credit for. It will be fine with or without us in the long run, and climate scientists have just as much to gain by fearmongering as any other lobbyist.

Ever tried a vanda? Similar shape except some are freaking huge.

post pictures of the orchids you fag

George Carlin answered this argument years ago.
youtube.com/watch?v=BB0aFPXr4n4

You're right, the planet will be just fine, life will go on. It's just us that's fucked.

Oh, you think you're one of the privileged few that's going to get to live in the SafetyDomes™ once the surface gets too inhabitable? Guess again, nonbreeding cucked consumer numale.

I've always wanted to pick up beekeeping. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time in the day.

Between my reading, work, practicing guitar (classical), gardening, and exercising, I only have like one or two spare hours in the day, and I feel like beekeeping requires a lot more than that.

I'll definitely look in to it. I've written down a bunch of things already mention so far

*500 flower vaginas and at least 1,000 flower penises because orchids usually have 2 pollinia

>Christian
cuck

Blame China. Theyre responsible for more than a quarter of Earths total greenhouse gases. Americans drinking their own toilet water isnt going to change a fucking thing.

>digitalis
Got someone to poison?

By far the greatest contributer of green house gasses is water vapor. Water vapor is like 98% of the green house gasses and is 99.9% naturally made

Yes, ausbro. Once you start you'll love it. One plant usually becomes a small collection. It's one of the least "degenerate" hobbies. You can even grown your own fruits and vegetables (not sure about Australian climates so don't know what you can grow, but there definitely are many that will thrive).

Personally I like cactus, their flowers always look so cool.

No, it won't happen m8, its all bullshit, predictions made with gross estimates that never materialize because the real world doesn't just work with gross estimates. You can't model the environment on a computer, it has been proved many times already but leftists keep disregarding basic logic, all this people do is produce results for politicians use

Listen, ultimately the environmental problem is a money scam. Be it by funneling money to the UN to make a climate-saving-ray, or by taxing corporations cause 'muh ecology', its just a fucking scam.
Whether is true or false is pointless at this moment, all that matters is that the public believes its true so it can be used to justify stealing from public arks.

>thinks he knows ecology
>doesn't into climate change

They aren't all this retarded in Argentina, are they?

Then call the police the next time they have a smoke out
Goddamn quit whining about shit and destroy your enemies.

But is true, just because your cities are a pollution hell-hole it doesn't mean that it is happening

Great thread. Love orchids as well.

Never thought so many on pol would have this interest desu

Individual merit is to be derided if it doesn't conform to the collective. Fuck libs OP, continue honing your knowledge and growing your collection

>I fucking hate liberals so much.

They are a social cancer - not even sure there is a historical precedent for their level of mental corrosion.

My mom collects orchids. Nowhere near as much as you, of course.

Good hobby user

Op do you believe in china? Did you see it? No? It's a hoax. Propaganda from the zionist jews ruling over the world giving a plausible reason why everything is getting outsourced. Yes china doesn't exist even when everybody talks about it like it does. Prove me wrong faggot.

I don't want to be a dick or nothing, but why would anyone other than old people or specialists grow orchids? Do you sell them?

I used to grow a little bit of weed because its fun to get high, then I learned to appriciate plants and started to grow basil, rosemary etc for my sandwhiches and food, this year im trying tomatoes and carrots. All those things a practical, saving money and eating more healthy.

Only reason I would grow flowers, is finding some rare flowers that really gives off a strong scent because it would be awesome to live in a house that smells really flowerly, but most flowers dont smell so much.

So why orchids? Also, as much as I like weed, I completly despise hippies/potheads/numales and even though there are conflicting interests as I enjoy weed, I rather have it banned than having these pissy homos smoking it, or claiming "bro mary jane makes me drive better its nuthin wrong smoking and driving high maaan"

meanwhile op

Nah I'm just a sucker for hanging flowers

youtube.com/watch?v=LJDgVlv55Uw

>You made them look like one of those SCIENCE BITCHES

Which fucking game?

Not derailing anything.

It seems like we are because I somewhat agree with him. Remember "global cooling"? Remember "CFCs are eating away the ozone layer"?
Many environmentalist panics were driven by industry for various purposes.
Just saying "but muh consensus" doesn't cut it, there was consensus back then too.

Actually, bees require very little maintenance, maybe once a week.
There are two peaks when it requires the most maintenance: Early April and later September (when you expand bee nests and prepare them for wintering).
Third middle peak is June, when bees are swarming (pic related Buckfast bee swarm on linden or lime-tree).
20+ bee families in a village ~70km (45mi) away from my home in a city and around 15 bee families in a city (in the outskirts).

>caring about the environment makes you left wing

Where does this meme come from?

Ey OP, how do I get a green thumb?

Not OP, but I grow orchids just because they're beautiful. Being able to grow orchids (which require more attention than the average houseplant) means you'll have no problem growing more "practical" flora.

Not to mention some orchids (such as Cattleya loddigesii and Angraecum sesquipedale) have really intense, penetrating fragrance. Fills up the room.

I dont know, reverse search it. My guess is Uncharted.

Newton Flaming laser sword.

Isn't beekeeping expensive?

Oh also, some rare orchids fetch a rather hefty price (a few thousand), so if you can propagate one you can potentially make a nice profit.

My bad, Got mistaken, Occam's Razor.

Pol must be filled with manlet pussies. Because I shove red pills down everyone's throat and they willingly take it and beg for more.

>6'3 250 lb, 100% pure Aryan btw

Don't worry bro, we are right

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect

>Lorenz discovered the effect when he observed that runs of his weather model with initial condition data that was rounded in a seemingly inconsequential manner would fail to reproduce the results of runs with the unrounded initial condition data. A very small change in initial conditions had created a significantly different outcome.

What are some other autist tier hobbies? Coin collecting ive always wanted to get into

This is the nicest thread I've ever seen on Sup Forums, fucking hell.

> tfw I realize I've been posting on a Cambodian orchid collector board

orchids look like pussies

>The Orchid Collector

Good name for a serial killer novel.

>Own a huge fucking greenhouse
>Some friends come over and politely ask of me to share the wealth
>I freak the fuck out
>Am surprised when they no longer dig me because I'm hogging the pipe

Stop making shit up. "Orchid collector" -- yeah fucking right. And stop being selfish. Bud belongs to the people.

there was a global campaign to stop using CFCs, and it worked you nigger

No it's actually extremely profitable. People lease your populations for their farms so that their crops are pollinated, all the while they produce honey that you sell.

what the fuck is this thread. why are there so many flower faggots here. what the fuck is going on.

Flag collecting here on Sup Forums. Ant watching. If you've got an anthill in your backyard, You can basically play yourself a god game.

That's why it was needless to say.

No, not at all.
But by God does the honey sell and the queen eggs too. You can sell good queen eggs for around sometimes 50-250 dollars each.

>people act suprised when someone trusts science despite not doing the testing themselves

>simutaniously using science to prove whatever fits their agenda in another thread


cool story bro