Hey look, it's an ADVICE THREAD. OP will pontify their posts with cute anime girls to soothe your degenerate souls

Hey look, it's an ADVICE THREAD. OP will pontify their posts with cute anime girls to soothe your degenerate souls.
>trips gets a special reward
>dubs gets their fortune told

Come, chat, vent.. whatever.

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>trips gets a special reward

Is it a blowjob?

If you had gotten quads.. shit, it might've been
It's a secret.

Bump 1/3 and then I nuke the thread. Some times people bite, some times they dont. I'm kind of glad Sup Forums is growing tired of advicefags

Bump 2/3

Why keep making them then

Anime girl pls btw

How do I get a femanon to show me her tits?

Are your bumps on a six minute timer or something?

>What are timezones?

I'm bored and there's no other thread I feel like posting in, honestly. There's nothing that qualifies me to give advice but i like listening and people tell me I am good at comforting them.
Depends.. do you want cheap whore tits or lady-like tits?
No. I just come back to the thread when I remember it exists.
"Atime zoneis a region of the globe that observes a uniformstandard timeforlegal,commercial, andsocialpurposes. Time zones tend to follow the boundaries ofcountriesand their subdivisions because it is convenient for areas in close commercial or othercommunicationto keep the sametime."

Ah fuck mobile Wikipedia fucked my quote

>Depends.. do you want cheap whore tits or lady-like tits?
I just want a pair of tits wiht my name written on it. It would give me a feel of accomplishment, since I am a lonley virginfag.

>No. I just come back to the thread when I remember it exists.

So your brain is on a six minute timer? That's interesting to know, I guess.

You might have better luck at /soc/ or /r9k/ then. Plenty of insecure females still wandering around there.
As for how? Ehh.. you can find someone doing requests, or just lurk in a camwhore thread and hope you get lucky. Women around here seem to respond well to passionate men.. and I don't mean "romantically" passionate.. I mean men who know what they are about and chase it above all else, even tiddies.
Huh i just noticed I posted exactly 6 minutes apart. Brains are funny like that. Ever woken up just in time to watch your alarm clock go off?

I have developed a dick scent fetish. I don't know but I have grown fond of the smell of my own dick. There are times where I don't wash it on purpose. Now how can I convince my future gf to enjoy this fetish too?

Just get a bf instead. Problem solved.

Not a faggot tho

There are some pretty nasty hoes out there so you might be able to find a girl that enjoys it, but iirc most women have a natural attraction to a tasteful amount of man funk.
However if you are intentionally cultivating dick cheese.. I think you might need to eventually choose between this fetish and a healthy sex life.

You get off on smelling dicks, dude. I think you can get used to it. Love it, even.

>You get off on smelling dicks
My own dick

Yeah, for now. Like that's even a big fucking distinction.

>However if you are intentionally cultivating dick cheese.
No don't worry. I just go as far so that it is developing the scent, not further.

OP here and user brings up a good point. Have you ever smelled another man's dick?
I think as long as you won't take it personally if a girl asks you to shower you might be able to find a happy medium with your sexual partners. I kinda like the smell of my own sweat personally so I don't think it's that outlandish of a fetish.

hi

>Have you ever smelled another man's dick?
I am not a fag. Everytime i sniff the scent of my penis, I imagine a girl sniffing my dick and becoming horny because of it. Totally succumbing to being a slut.

That's reasonable, I was mostly joking around. Schrodingers sexuality.. you never know if you are straight or gay until you fuck a man in the butt
I'm sure there are women who are into that fetish. Would you say not being into it would be a deal breaker in a relationship?
Yes hello. Thanks for the elf tiddies

>Would you say not being into it would be a deal breaker in a relationship?
No, not really. I would accept and respect it.

I think most women won't notice or care. I know I've sucked a few smelly cocks in my day and some times it adds to the thrill. Hell I've even got some hentai saved on my PC where a girl is licking sweaty Viking ball sack

Hey, I just noticed I got trips here and got nothing for it.

Some fucking special reward.

>I know I've sucked a few smelly cocks in my day and some times it adds to the thrill

fag or gril

vocaroo.com/i/s0J6d9fT6Ihc
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>Ay-non

Fucking Revy, I knew it was you.

>_>;; saying uh-non just sounds wrong
Sorry for being covert. I've been too busy for a thread still (or hungover when I've had time) but wanted to chat.

>be me
>20 something year old virgin
>girls would never talk to me
>suddenly chatting with multiple girls at once
>no one knows from one another

What changed?

Where is Alice?

Are you happier lately? Picked up a hobby or achieved something in your career/academics? Women like confidence but beyond that they also are good at sensing neediness. If you are happy with yourself you are easier to talk to.

Either way, fuckin score man. Good luck to you.

Tied up in my closet.

Okay, I got my request.

Read this guy's post in your little girl voice.

>Are you happier lately?
Yes, but this was caused by the sudden interest in me from multiple beautiful girls. I am talking 8 or 9 out of ten here.

>Picked up a hobby or achieved something in your career/academics?
Nothing.

>Either way, fuckin score man. Good luck to you.
Thanks.

the things ive seen
the horrors
i dont want to
i dont want to
i dont want to

I doubt this. Send proof

>Yes, but this was caused by the sudden interest in me from multiple beautiful girls.

Did you make any changes prior to that? Like, for example, did you finally bathe for the first time in years? That'll dramatically improve your ability to attract attention from the opposite sex, if necessary.

>Did you make any changes prior to that?
Nope.
>did you finally bathe for the first time in years?
kek

vocaroo.com/i/s0iAWVeDKBXG

Also, your fortune
>onions and garlic might be bad for your breath short term, but they have antibacterial properties that prevent tonsil stones and halitosis!
Well maybe you aren't realizing your own progress, or maybe women your age are finally maturing and taking interest in you over classically desirable men. It certainly happens and you are at the age for it. Just try to keep your chill and enjoy the attention. Try not to think of them as beautiful girls and instead just new friends
Drink more
It's dark in there and I'm running sensory deprivation experiments on her

If you truly hadn't changed anything about yourself and these aren't women you met recently, then regard their sudden attention with suspicion.

It is MLK Jr day, user. Alice takes holidays off

>Just try to keep your chill and enjoy the attention. Try not to think of them as beautiful girls and instead just new friends
Okay. Thanks for the advice.

OP here, this is also solid advice.
If you just get to know them as friends organically first you aren't setting yourself up for heartache

>I couldn't find an anime girl so here's best captain

Alice isn't black.

Regardless it's still a federal holiday in the States

Will keep that in mind.

Oh shit I got dubs do I get my fortune told? Will I die out in the desert after having an IED go off like I hope?

Your fortune, user!
>beware of green frogs, purple rabbits and puppeteers.. also, you will receive an unexpected visitor this week!
Nothing about IEDs but if your enlisted you don't have to give up hope just yet

I want to lick revy's sweaty balls.

I have never seen a purple rabbit in my entire life, should I be concerned? Am I not taking enough hallucinogenic drugs?

Fuck... I had to work.

Don't we all? I'd lick shit off her boot if she told me to.
Based on your fortune you're probably better off not going on any groovy trips any time soon
And if you do, DO NOT FOLLOW THE RABBIT

I did too user. Unfortunately MLK Jr day isn't a day we get holiday pay for.

If I'm ever offered drugs of any kind I'll be certain to say "yes." Call me a crayon eater all you like but you've piqued my interest.

l
Drink some sobieski slav. The saints lost so it's all good

It's rude to turn down free drugs.
But in all seriousness if you try psychedelics go for some shrooms first (and make sure they are well dried and not mouldy) then low doses of lsd. Bad trips fucking suck. I did 200ug my first acid trip thinking i had a high tolerance and ended up hallucinating that my ex was trying to shoot himself and that all my friends on discord were laughing at me and calling me weird. Very uncomfy

i lol'd pretty hard

>all my friends on discord were laughing at me and calling me weird.

That could've happened. Could be happening right now, in fact.

Rakija >>>>>> Wodka.
I'm drug tested every two weeks so I unfortunately can't try psychedelics right now, but I'll keep this in mind for later. Thank you

If they saw this thread they probably would be
After the trip I actually checked back through the chat logs to make sure and they werent even talking about me at all.. but i did see a few messages of me saying inane shit spliced in
Lsd and social media don't mix. Like.. watch a movie or music videos with heavy imagery or draw stuff. People are the devil on hallucinogens

Any time user. Thanks for dropping by.
You mean Palinka

My distant girlfriend suddenly became clingy. I usually love clingy but I'm unprepared as fuck for this. What now?

What aspect of the clinginess is hard for you to deal with? Is she being emotionally needy, demanding of your time, or what?

Figure out why she's clingy.

And your fortune
>avoid foods with red #5 and 40 in it. It's giving you headaches.

She's very affectionate and demanding of time now. I found a new hobby that she's taking time away from.

I asked, she said I was a good bf and she never appreciated that until she thought about it.

What is your new hobby? Is it something you can do together?
If she's being sincere, it's good she recognized your worth to her. If there are any other signs of suspicious behavior id suggest you sit her down and ask if there's anything she wants to discuss. Give her an opening to admit any wrongdoing if her change in behavior is out of guilt.

>I asked, she said I was a good bf and she never appreciated that until she thought about it.

That doesn't make a lot of sense. I wouldn't buy it. But if that's enough for you, I guess it's fine.

how do i say thank you to someone who does something for me without sounding like a total autist?

It could be something malicious, but it could also be that she has noticed them growing apart and is trying to reign him back in. Either way it sounds like user needs to have a discussion about what they both want from the relationship and ways to compromise on how to make them both feel fulfilled.

"Seriously dude, thank you. It means a lot to me" or something like that
What about saying thank you makes you worry about coming off as autistic?

Just say thanks?

Is that not an option?

How can an 18 year old Londoner find a cougar?

Fetlife

Ive looked into it but Im not really sure how to use it

I don't either but I imagine that would be the easiest route
Or start hitting on your friends moms if any of them are divorced

Thats out of the question but do you know any places where I could actually meet cougars?

In London? I don't really know the area. If you are fit maybe beaches or public pools? Bars? Yoga classes?