What now I haven’t had sex in 3 years

What now I haven’t had sex in 3 years

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soundcloud.com/saxon_casi/sets/new-songs
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What are you, a fucking Target?

ok i think i have a pair at my place how about you come over and try them on

Ass

just fucking do it faggot

op is a fag he wont

probably why he hasnt gotten laid in the past years besides the night his drunken uncle goes into his room to rape him

Sorry they only come in large and white

"Small? You sure?"

I have something real nice for you, it's a size XL tho. you filthy CAUNT!

"sure, as long as you wear them as a blindfold instead of pants"

Old pic, op is a fag

Sup Forums approved?

"Sorry. Things in black aren't small. "

Have fuck her too... no big Deal

Whatever gets you laid

Send it faggit

Do it faggot

Be sure to go to Walmart and actually pick a pair up. Then be like "oh, I was serious

GOGO

command that bitch. don't ask her. leave out the "how about you"

Bumping, wanna see what happens

Do it you fag

This

...

slick

Don't forget to buy the pants for like ten dollars or £8

What now?

Give a follow-up, user.

If they don't fit, I guess you can't wear any.

Don't forget to mention you haven't had seen in 3 years. If dubs you must.

Abort operation! Abort!

you got shut down m8, letter work for YOU, not the other way around, women hate that shit

careful or you will look too pushy and desperate. maybe just say "call me when you're free" then stop messaging her for at least a few days to see if she reaches out.

Wtf he just met her lmao. Slow down with the commanding you psychopath. This line won't work for sure bro, he just sent 2 messages and now he's trying to meet... Not how it works.

Back off. Rejected.

too later, nigger. he already sent it.

She's gonna bail.

Fuark

You sound way too bossy and manipulative, like a predator. This'll never work.

ahem. you were saying?

Do you want to see my bulge? I am packing some serious heat down there? If you have to know I'm 8 inches long 5 in girth

Now talk to her like a normal person without an agenda other than getting to know her.

Buy the damn pair

She gave him a chance.

Roll för dubs

OP

Do it faggot

yup. this. now it's time to be cool and normal. just treat her the same way you'd treat some new dude you just met and would want to be friends with. also known as treating her like a person. you broke the ice, hard part is over.

Yes this

Same fag

Alright faggot. You have to lay off the pants line now. Go a different direction. Ask her at bar she's going to wear these pants for a drink with you.

Trust in this post

This.

Kek

Well they're on me, so why not come over and take them off? IS WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID

Rerolling

How do you that? I’m on medication that prevents me from being normal

Tell her you will rape her instead

Also add that your cock is quivering over her

I have no friends this isn’t helping

So much attention on this one shitpost

soundcloud.com/saxon_casi/sets/new-songs

Murica'

all girls like tv and food. ask her what her favourites are. gives you fodder for dinner dates and netflix. then see if she's a beer or wine person.

Where does she live in your area?
Where does she like to go out?
What does she like to do for fun?
Hobbies?
Weekend activities?
Small talk.
Be prepared to answer with statements of your own. But yours need to be impressive/fun/interested. For christsakes don't say vidyagames.

Well Nicole. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, either way I know where you live. What do you wanna do?

"~*U sAY iT lYkE iT aInT tRu*~"

I’m on antipsychotics for bipolar disorder. I have neither confidence nor thoughts. Please help me have sex I can’t small talk

it would be nice if the things you say suggest you are somewhat successful in life, or at the very least, not a fucking NEET. Good luck op.

sounds rapey.
women don't like rape, unless it's consensual.

What's your bio?

Sounds about right

Whatever keeps you asleep at night goyim

>compliments go over well

glad to hear. I'm an expert in making throats shake.

“I exercise, I work full time, and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks (anchorman quote)”

That's funny, I was just thinking that I liked your smile. We should get coffee sometime.

Well I have bad news for you...

Get some fucking confidence. Refer to this If you can't talk, you WILL NOT get laid. Sorry dude. Women like talking.

Is that tinder?

good luck not having sex.
these whores go through a hundred matches; if you say something off, they'll cut the line.
Be upfront about the sex, but don't sound creepy.

M-me? Really of all people? In high school, I was voted most likely to be on channel 4 news in 2o years after the cops discover 20 bodies in my crawl space.

>I'm glad you found me funny
>I like your look, you're very pretty

gay

Unless you are a 10, have money or match with a landwhale, being upfront about sex will end quickly. But keep telling yourself that.

Are you indian?

Oops, didn't mean to swipe right on you.

"Cool, glad you liked my bio. Listen - I want to start this conversation off right since a lot of guys beat around the bush with lame pick up lines. I'm only after sex of the one night stand type. Not interested in a relationship but wouldn't mind getting high with a stranger one evening and having some fun. If that's interesting to you, let's continue this conversation - if not, best we both move on."

kek. That's a good one! I'm going to hold onto that.

did you see a request for bobs or vajeen?

good advice. she didnt reject you, she just rejected the idea of coming to a stranger's house. clearly she still wants to talk to you despite how retarded your original pick up line was. most chicks wont just go over to a random person's house that they've never met before and only messaged twice. you could be a fucking murderer for all she knows. back off. talk to her like a friend you're trying to get to know, not like a bitch you're trying to fuck. ask her out on a date after chatting with her a few times. if she says yes, continue behaving like a normal human who's not on Sup Forums asking for advice with women.

keep it simple, fagglets.
The woman said she thought OP was funny, which means it's a compliment.
In society, that means you return the compliment.
Let her know you're interested in her sexually; tell her she's pretty--women want to know they're good looking.
It has multiple implications, but it's straightforward.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

This would work 1 out of 50 times.

meetYou're basically the one cutting the line if they aren't interested in sex. What do they think Tinder is? Facebook? No - it's for one night stands. Anybody getting on there for any other reason should be absolutely b&.

>lying to a woman on an app that's known for hook ups and one night stands
Be upfront you autist.

which is 1 more time than OP's approach will work. The beauty of it is - it wouldn't take long to find that 1 in 50 willing to entertain the idea of wetting your dick for you.

>I'm glad you found me funny

You gotta stoop to their level, you hipster piece of trash.

Tell her that you’re on antipsychotics for bipolar disorder. Tell her you have neither confidence nor thoughts. Ask her for help having sex.

Basically this.