Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic related: It’s me and my bitch

nice dubs, thats an old one

John must be closing to 40 by now

He's dead

every single fucking day.... ugh, back to whence you came from, faggot.

That's nice. Now fuck the fuck right off.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

...

Whatever your not that cool and why would you waste time coming on here if you don't like it

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle.

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

check em

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

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...

>be bird
>bread
>I fucking love bread
>dude throwing the bread has some kind of wiener sausage between his legs and he's rubbing it
>whatever I want bread
>mmmmmbreadfuckyes.jpg
>
>suddenly this lad shoots fucking mayonnaise out of the weiner
>seconds before I get hit I see my life flashing before my eyes
>born
>falling out of nest
>ohfuckohfuckohfuck
>flap flap away
>bread
>mayonnaise hits me with astounding force and I can't breathe
>choke on mayonnaise
>die
>there's no cool ending here the bird just died

......... Oh hi John ..

>......... Oh hi John ..

Nice copypasta

Hey, John. Welcome back. I’ve missed you. Is there an Andy Sixx version of you yet? Holding a turd instead of that girl or bottle?

You old fake ass Jersey Shore, Situation, wanna be. Your bitch looks like an over exaggerated tranny. With your little fake ass chain. Fucking cornball!!!! We'll come see you!!!

Hei homot
Nimeni on Jussi ja vihaan jokaista teistä. Kaikki teistä ovat rasvaa, viivästyneitä,elämiä, jotka viettävät
joka toinen päivä katsellen typeriä perseitä.
Olette kaikki paha maailmassa. Rehellisesti, onko kukaan teistä koskaan saanut mitään pillua?
Tarkoitan, että on hauskaa tehdä ihmisille hauskaa oman epävarmuustesi vuoksi.
Mutta kaikki olette täysin uudella tasolla. Tämä on vielä pahempaa kuin vetää käteen naamakirjan kuville.
Älä ole muukalainen. Juokse vain parhaalla mahdollisella tavalla.
Olen melko täydellinen. Olin jalkapallojoukkueen kapteeni ja aloitin koripallojoukkueeni.
Mitä urheilutapahtumia pelaat, muuta kuin vedät käteen alastottomille japanilaisille?
Saan myös suoran A:n, ja hänellä on kuuma tyttöystävä Hän vain räjäytti minut, paska oli niin rahaa.
Olette kaikki houkuttelijoita, jotka vain tappavat itsenne. Kiitos kuuntelemisesta.
Kuva liittyy, se on minä ja narttuni.