Weird things only you do

Weird things only you do.

I use a paper clip to itch the inside of my butthole

I use a Pringles can to masturbate.

I pretend to be a bucket of custard online. No one actually knows I'm a sandwich.

I watch anime

i pee in in the plastic cups on my sink while taking a shit dont like dropping my weiner in the toilet to piss

When I shit, I wipe my ass until it starts to bleed

I go to church only to confess that i'm in love with jesus and masturbate to paintings of him

Hahahaha, good one...

I've done that before

LMAO SO RANDOM
:3 Upvoted

I stand on the toilet when I take a shit

Masturbate to animated beastiality.

I leave the last page of the local newspaper open to the obituaries in the hope that my father will be more active in his life and abstain from drinking.

People tend to forget about death until it happens to someone they know personally.

I swallow raviolis whole

Why not the real deal?

I watch my self in the mirror while I jurk off

>I shave from my knee to my stomach but I leave some around the base
>I shit completely naked
>I masturbate through my underwear while my dick is still soft, rubbing it kind of like a clit repeatedly for hours, because its easier, until I cum
>Ill drive to the ocean late at night and lay on the beach completely naked and end up jacking off, then going back home

go away

who doesn't?

Huh...

I have a "cum hat" that I regularly cum into. I've had the same cum hat for 3 years and have only washed it once on accident. I wear it regularly.

It smells like stale cum but you have to be really close to actually smell it. I can't smell it when it's on my head but I pull it down over my face for a quick whiff often enough.

...

I did that when I was like 13, my dad found it and threw it away. I was fucking mortified

>Ill drive to the ocean late at night and lay on the beach completely naked and end up jacking off, then going back home
hot

Tip the girl if she behaves during rape.

Are you sure it doesn't just start bleeding when you shit?

It happened to me once

I'm curious. please explain

I fap in a test tube to contain the blast

I like to shower in the dark

Do this almost every time I shower

I jump over cars with my bottocks.
It's a weird game that I invented when I was small, where you have to jump over the cars while clenching your bum.

If you get hit, you die.

I also do it in rhythm to music, where you have to time it to the beat while ALSO avoiding "getting hit" by the cars.

I've been doing this for many years now, and it's something nobody have, and will, ever found out about.

I'm 23, and I do it so naturally I completely forget I do it anymore.

>18
Can you explain how the fuck you wank off with a pringles can?? I know your cock aint big enough to fuck it

I think in third person and sometimes I accidentally say "she says" outloud after im done speaking.

After masturbating and cleaning up, I envelop my dick in toilet paper so that any semen that may leak during the following minutes doesn't soil my underwear. The toilet paper is removed after about 10 minutes.
>mfw no white stains on my underwear since I started doing this.

This is brilliant advice, thank you user.