It's Sunday. Confess

It's Sunday. Confess.

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I've tried stuffing my hand in my ass while thinking about sucking my dad off

...

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
I lied I stole I killed I raped I fapped and tons of other things.

...

I pooped on his dick

... did you get it in there?

I would ask why you want to know, but this is Sup Forums I'm on.
Almost, can't really get my knuckles in since I don't have lube

I stole nudes of my friend's gf and fapped to a video of them fucking. Only occurred to me afterwards that jerking off to my friend's dick was kinda gay.

What the fuck are you doing in your ass without lube? You're gonna hurt yourself man.

I was the one who let the dogs out.

I wanted to make it to march without drinking, but I had some bud lights in the fridge I couldn't stop thinking about. I made it five full days.

context: not an alcoholic, just like beer and want to lose some fat

Buy some lube. Seriously. You're going to get an anal fissure and then have to explain to everyone why you are in the hospital. My cousin did this, that's how we all found out he's gay.

i fucked my bestfriends gf while she was drunk

I tortured my moms poodle when I was high on shit

I almost had a drink last night, after 3 days of being sober. All I'm thinking about is a beer.

I kinda do have lube, I used my spit to get it in there

When I was young my big brother would go in my room and help me masturbate.

I had sex in missionary position for the sole purpose of procreaton

I have been relapsing my alcoholism for the last 4 days and loving it.

i broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago because me and my first cousin are in love.

Spit is not lube user.

...oh

Saliva has many purposes, and lubricant is definitely one of them

niBBa i wouldn't even confess to jesus himself

Just because it feels good on your dick doesn't make it a safe way to play with your ass

wew

This guy knows what's good.

WHATS YOUR POISON user?

Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been 20 years since my last confession. I used to steal food from the 7-11 when I was drunk. Anything from hot dogs to candy.

whatever i can get LOL

Luck is on your side user.

I had a dream of my gf cheating on me, woke up and broke up with her
>still mad at that bitch

Post em faggot

I led a gay dude on at a bar brought him back to my place, when he got in my bed I told him I wasnt gay and that I didnt understand why he thought I was, to get an uber and leave

I fapped to Bailey Jay once...

Im fapping father

That's a story I'd like to read

I like to dress and make up like a girl because it turns me on. Not atracted to men but i like the atention of both genders.

Confessions are usually heard on Saturdays.

I forced my sister to suck my cock.

Huh, so do I.

This week has been:

Bottles of

Archway Malbec 2014
Peter Lehmann Shiraz 2015
Parson's Paddock Shiraz 2016
Fifth Leg CSSM 2015
Fifth Leg Rose 2017
3/4 bottle of Absolut Citron

and a carton of Iron Jack lagar

Am I proud? Secretly yes. Will I stop? Maybe. See how we go until Australia day.

Have you seen ranma? that's the dream.

The important question is old Bailey or new Bailey?

I'm not going in to work tomorrow, because I have more important shit to deal with. Usually, Mondays are my off-days anyway, but it's the only day I can take care of more important shit, because everything's either closed or working at half-capacity on Sundays. I don't care that the workplace is going to be backed up because of last week's storm; I *have* to do this, and doing it without the paychecks is going to make it even more imperative that I get it done.

Further, I've given these jackasses way more than they deserve of my time and labor, only for them to CONSTANTLY AND INCESSANTLY mock and disrespect me at that workplace anyway, so fuck them. Seriously, fuck them. Fuck my supervisor for shucking and jiving for upper and middle-management, and fuck that guy on the other side doing the same. Fuck them BOTH for mocking me for my hobbies and interests, and still expecting me to give 110%, even after having sacrificed my state-mandated 30-minute lunch break because they "can't afford" to give me one anymore for some reason. So, I'm sorry, but I'm not going in tomorrow. If they want to fire me, fine, because one of the 'important things' I have to do tomorrow is conduct an interview for a better/real job any goddamned way.

Oh, and fuck that gnome-looking fuck on the southside as well. He may have on a red shirt and work in middle-management, but he is NOT above me.

i've have sex father

I hate everyone I know, my family is fucked up and I kind of want to kill myself.

Testing

Don't get sad or depressed user. Turn that feeling into anger and harness that anger to make or force change wherever you will it.

Don't let the world tell you that things like pride and anger are bad. They are powerful feelings that can drive mankind to do great things.

I dabbed once as a joke, and my life was never the same agian

I usually have to wipe twice cause I didn’t do a good job the first time

Thanks but what's wrong with my family can't be fixed. My last hope is leaving the country

I vape

I don't know your circumstances, so I can't comment.

But if your hatred of your family drives you to chose to leave the country, then I think that is a good decision.

I say these things because I'm sick to death of western society literally talking out their arse to justify horseshit nuances in favour of what they believe to be pious.

There is nothing wrong with hatred, anger, jelousy, force, manipulation, etc.

Everyone who says otherwise are just sour that they cannot use the same feelings empower themselves so they demonize it.

i stole money of my best friend and he didnt even noticed

How much and how? Tell me your story user.

As you'll never know me in real life I might as well post it.
My dad is a cross dresser, we found out two years ago. He's spending all our money on hormones and shit like that and we're flat broke. I had to take a job to pay the family bills while he blows through 2-3000 a month on shit.
My mom is too spineless to divorce him so she pays his bills with her job and I pay the rest. I'm sick of it.
On top of this, house repairs that he promised to do aren't getting done and I'm getting sick all the time from the damp in the house.

hnngngnfHOLY FucK

australia.gov.au/information-and-services/immigration-and-visas/migration-to-australia

I don't know you, but to prevent you from killing your father, I'll do what I can.

This so much, that's how I stopped being a piece of shit and changed

i confess to being a troll on Sup Forums

but not a bad troll, sort of a classy troll but packed with sleaze

Forgive me father for i have sinned

Gf bought me bearded dragon as a christmas present 3 years ago. Was pretty cool to start with watching him grow and shit. Got boring after a while and stopped caring about him. One day got high as fuck and forced vodka into his throat. A guy i know has falcons/hawks and shit and he euthanized one using the same method. Didnt work, he lived. Didnt really recover. Next chance i got i gave him more vodka. Second time lucky. She thinks it was old age. 3 years old. She aint the brightest

tried to hook up with former fuckbuddy when i have a gf. fuckbuddy has a man already :(

I have this huge scam planned where I think I can get a lot of money, but the only thing keeping me from doing it is that I don't know absolutely nothing about how to "Hide" in the webz... and I have such distrust in others that I fear if I ask for help, I'm gonna be betrayed by that person

I was supposed to go to my morning 3 hour class, but instead slept in my car in the parking lot.

I'm not going to kill him, but thanks.
Think not being done with my degree yet will hurt my chances though.

I take my anger out on my boyfriend by physically and sexually abusing him

I justify it by telling myself that he deserves it for being stupid enough to stay with him

I was filled with regret last week, when he told me through tears that he loved me

Be an hero

Fucked a girl and got her to cheat on her nigger boyfriend. I nutted in her and she got pregnant; I then blamed it on the nigger and everyone blamed me. She then paid for the abortion herself.

Put on a chastity device and stockings and a corset and tied myself to my bed spread eagle. Used my nose to call the roommate and said my girlfriend dumped me and left me in a certain situation. Let him cum in my ass and he let me go. Have it recorded. Quads get it.

You are better than me user haha.

I would end him and erase any trace of his bullshit I could.

Imagine one day you have a child, first born son, and he's having some trouble with his sexuality.

He has male friends who admire him, but he cannot find the same admiration from women. Imagine he finds out somewhere that his grandfather was a degenerate.

I think that would damage his psyche to an extent our modern science doesn't even comprehend yet.
Finish you degree user, and then think of your legacy.

nah, I'm not THAT regretful tbqh

Roll

I mean I see your point but jail would probably not go well for me. Generally if you end up in jail here you end up with an asshole like the Japanese flag.
I'm just going to take my mother's surname to avoid anyone finding out I'm related to him.

I killed three babies with pesticides.

Nice trips

I hope you give yourself credit for how smart you are user.

Don't let your intellect go to waste. Read books, do math for fun; stay sharp.

Godspeed user.

Nice try!

My best friend and I got extremely drunk over the weekend. When he passed out on the floor I took that as an opportunity to go through his phone.

I raped my dog and a nigger today I'm sorry

I'm two days sober. Stay strong brother.

Begone, Demon!

After 7 years, I'm still in love with my cousin.

Eat my ass- roommate fucker

you monster

jizz

rolling with hope

If true u should prob off yourself u fucking nigroid

It's Monday idiot

My friends think I care about them but really they're in my circle for the sole purpose of blending in and not appearing like an outcast. While I do care about them occasionally, it's not very consistent and often have to mimic simple gestures and emotions in order to keep my cover. I also find myself mostly (genuinely) caring about girls, probably because I was raised by my mother and grandmother (my mother was single so she decided to help) for the entirety of my childhood and that may have shaped my perception of women and how the bonds I form with them turn out. The women I've been attached to have always been bubbly and had a warm atmosphere to them (the good ones anyway) akin to that of my mother's, mommy issues? Maybe, but at least it's gotten me some good friendships. I am also a sociopath, which should've been apparent based purely off the first paragraph. I am also 16, by the way. Call me a newfag all you want but neofaggotry shouldn't matter in a confession thread.

Anyway, that was it. Hopefully it was an interesting read.

Don't have female friends. They're fucking snakes.

I can see where you're coming from. Most modern women are disgusting but there's a lot of decent ones left, at least in my experience.

I haven't sinned, but you most likely have by worshipping false prophets. I've been spreading the word since the 23rd, even though you guys aren't atheist, you still hold on to the retarded belief that god is humanoid and not a cobra.

Read the Bible, dibshits. The only time god shows himself physically to more than one person is when he reveals as a cobra from Moses' staff when confronting the pharaoh.

Exodus 7:10 The lord told Moses to throw down the staff, it became the snake. God's true form is a cobra. He did not make man in his image, he gave that grace to the subtlest creatures.

Look at Egypt's creation story, Apep (a cobra) and Atum (their version of God) where once one, each of them represented two sides of one individual. Egypt goes into heresy when they say that these beings split into two.

But we can surmise that all religions that have a god reference the same god through different lenses. Only christians get it right, obviously, but many religions have a snake god that contrasts a malviolent one.

This is actually the duality of god. Like a cobra he can be wrathful, but also he can be calm. Cobras strike down animals much larger than they with venom in much the same way an all powerful being might with lightning.

It is important that we still love god, though he takes the shape of something most find terrifying or repulsive. He cast down his lightning venom only on the wicked for He is just!

It is also no coincidence that snakes in general are mentioned so often in the Bible. It is not enough to have each line in the Bible memorized, but one must also read between the lines as well.

To say that god is neither man nor cobra is to say that the serpentic imagery and messages along with god's own divine acts are meaningless, which is just not true.

Oh boy

>I have sexual fantasies about students in my school, my teachers, my friends' mothers/sisters, my own aunts and cousins

>I sometimes take creepshots of this one younger student with a thicc ass too

I can't shake my ex even though I know she's just talking to me like she used to to hurt me once she finds someone else. She wants to humiliate me for hurting her to everyone. I've wanted to just leave but I can't because she is my only source of love, however fake it may be, and for that I am sorry.

your ex knows de wey

roll

...

Are you retarded?

Post it