>"Computer, depict Doctor Beverly Crusher in a state of total undress and intense sexual arousal on one of the med beds in sickbay. Simulate her masturbating frantically and moaning about how she'll hop the first cock that presents itself. Transmit to every monitor and display throughout the ship, including the main bridge view screen, and forward the signal on all subspace frequencies to every ship and planet within range on my mark. And disengage safety protocols."
>"Mark."
Other urls found in this thread:
>Computer, create a nude season 1 Wesley Crusher covered in baby oil, with no gag reflex, who always squeals like it was the first time. Disengage safety protocols.
>Computer give Quark two dicks. You can leave safety protocols on so he doesn't try to kill me and steal my money.
No
>computer
engage safety protocols
disengage safety protocols
>Computer, extrapolate a series of circular rooms based on the curvature of Doctor Crusher and Deanna Troi's buttcheeks, adapt colour to skin tone. Do a protein analysis of the chairs currently being sat upon by both the doctor and counselor. Adapt environmental systems to perfume these rooms with the odour of these proteins. Disengage safety protocols
>Computer, give me a vial of the most potent plague known to man. Disengage safety protocols.
Computer, create a big guy.
>perfume
it's the little touches that raise an okay post to a good one
>Computer, transfer transporter controls to the holodeck.
Computer, scan Counsellor Troi's quarters for trace amounts of compounds directly associated with Betazoid flatulence.
>Scanning complete.
Computer, replicate compounds, enhance olfactory sensations by 1000%.
Computer, generate a new enhanced replica every 5 seconds.
>Warning, continuing replication may result in poisonous atmospheric conditions.
Computer, disengage safety protocols and continue program.
>Computer, create an exact duplicate of Counselor Troi's posterior, based on her latest body scans and enlarge so it completely covers the rear wall of the Holodeck.
>Computer, detect any recent flatulence from Counselor Troi and provide me with precise olfactory and audial perimeters.
>Computer, have the anus emanate said flatulence every 1.5 seconds. Disengage safety protocols
>Computer, send "Barclay Suicide Note, Revision 5" to every senior officer's comm system.
Give it 350+ years of cosmetic surgery and she is going to shine!
>Computer, engage all replicators to continuously expell a perfect replication of Counsellor Trois last bowel movement
>disengage all safety protocols
>begin
>Computer, analyse Counselor Troi's last bowl movment
>Analysis complete
>Replicate the results and beam the contents directly to my mouth
>Captain Picard walks in
...
Need more threads like this
Computer, belay that... just give me the dog that Q changed Dr Crusher into, and put on some music - Frank Zappa's "Babbette".
>computer
>run program "betazoid.anal.cum.chasm.9.the .rapening.holo"
>it's cereal
Ya blew it!
>computer, create a giant 15ft tall version of Counsellor Troi
>now have her nude, and giving birth
>now make me the baby she is giving birth to
>disable all safety protocols
>begin program
>computer, be more funny
>"Computer, using the Euclideon's Unlimited Detail Engine protocol I want you to depict Doctor Beverly Crushers pubic hairs. Magnify 1000x and use one septatrillion voxels. Disengage safety protocols."
Computer, take imagery from Counsellor Troi's latest medical scan and create an exact replica of her anus and pelvic region; Upscale by a factor of 10. Simulate irritable bowel syndrome and colorize flatulence with a pink hue. When flatulence levels reach a density of 20 parts per million, increase flatulence rate and colorize a deep purple.
>Computer, turn me into a pregnant woman going into labor. Disengage safety protocols.
>Simulate irritable bowel syndrome and colorize flatulence with a pink hue
disengage sides
>bowl movment
>Captain Picard walks out.
Computer, depict the events of 2254 aboard the star ship Discovery, but make the captain and first officer black women and one of the officers a Muslim
>Muslims did not exist in the 23rd Century
Disengage safety protocols
Why does the federation waste ship space on crew quarters when they could just add more holodecks for the crew to live in?
holodecks have to be powered
...
Wouldn't it be possible for everyone to live in their own personal holosuite instead of living in houses in the Star Trek universe?
I mean you could literally and unironically have everything you want and live in total luxury. I don't give a fuck if it's "fake" if it looks and feels as good as the real thing.
I'd rather live in a holosuite rather than whatever generic housing they have in the Star Trek universe for the average person.
>When Starfleet stages a Dominion coup by cutting the power and taking over the planet and your house and all your possessions vanish
Well they aren't real so you never lost anything.
Why the fuck would Starfleet stage a coup against itself unless you are implying I would be in the Dominion?
>Disengage safety protocols
This one got me.
Do you think there will be Muzzies once we reach Star Trek technology status?
>unironically have everything you want and live in total luxury.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Who would "ironically" have everything they want? "Unironic" isn't a synonym for "literal."
>Coming to a Star Trek thread without having seen DS9
Step it up mate.
Homefront / Paradise Lost
You're literally and unironically a cunt
1, Deep Space 9
2. Voyager
3. Enterprise
4. TNG
5. TOS
.
.
.
.
9001. Reboot movies
Well, I was "literally" asking that as a question, but I was "ironically" being a cunt.
Holodecks have to artificially simulate distance with barriers and fields and gravity fuckery. Its one of the most energy and processing consuming luxuries on the ship and it has capacity limits.
According to Voyager it's powered by an unlimited supply of energy which cannot be used for any other purpose, not even if you did this:
>Computer, generate a lightning storm with an EM frequency identical to the ship's power systems and focus it on this high-capacity power cable I've dragged in here from engineering
>Disengage safeties
>Voyager anywhere but rock-bottom
I see what you did there.
this is one of the many reasons Voyager was stupid
Worst to best, huh? I can dig it.
>Not wanting Janeway to crush your balls in high heels
His rankings were wrong, but anyone who prefers Star Wars Trek to Voyager needs to git out
That'd work if it didn't have the reboot movies at the top
Reminder that Ezri is best girl.
>girl
Would have been a lot better if they'd given her at least another season to work with
She spent all her time trying to separate herself from Jadzia
It couldn't really be helped, Terry declined season 7 and they knew it would be the last, DS9 needed a new officer and having Dax plus new girl would have been less jarring than a completely new person or ignoring how Starfleet operates and not replacing their Science Officer.
damn, odo still can't get faces right
>women get old
She's nearly 70 for fucks sake, what do you expect?
Why do women age so terribly lads?
Being evil ages you faster.
Crusher still looks ok for 67.
Troi however...
Some grace.
>Computer, construct a sturdy noose
>
>Why do women age so terribly lads?
Men also turn into raisins. It's only through the magic of chemistry that our dicks don't too.
Computer, I had a rough day. Just put me in a room with 500 dogs that are excited to see me. Disengage safety protocols.
>Troi however...
I can't tell the difference. j/k but no really, that bitch was always fug to me.
Take a look at this if you think that's bad.
Is it true that she was a massive cunt or am I thinking about the wrong person?
Women put on fat more than men and decades of makeup ruins their skin.
you're thinking of Pulaski
Not sure. Might be Crusher as she was the one who fucked off for a series.
jesus, voyager... you really were a poor caretaker of a franchise.
It's funny that her face didn't actually change that much. Maybe it's just the potato quality, but the left just looked like her sans makeup. Chick's faces are lies.
>Computer generate a waterfall.
Have the crew drag in a rudimentary turbine engine
>Who gives a shit about protocols, we're trying to steal power here.
Computer, create me a gf
> Specified program is not available
o-ok
underrated
>computer replicate the entire crew 2" tall. Fill up the floor with them. Tight. Duplicate as necessary.
Run through the room barefoot
god damn
GILF kino
lost it hard
>Computer, create me an amoral sexual predator with the strength and intelligence of Commander Data. Replicate Holodeck transmitters into every corridor on the Enterprise and disengage safety protocols.
>Disengage safety protocols
Oh Mama Nana I need you
JUST
>Disengage safety protocols
>"Computer, tell me about your sexual organs.
>Computer, depict the events of 2151 aboard the NX-01 as if they were poorly written and full of plotholes
...
>computer skip the bullshit and spend more time in the "decom" room.
>Computer, more mood lighting.
>Computer, make them rub stuff on each other slowly
>Riker to ensign jizz mopper, spill in holodeck 4.
>Computer, replicate last parameters of Dr. Crusher's last bowel movement.
>increase size by 400%
>500%
>run olfactory simulation "Crusher_sweet_roses.olf"
>play audio of Dr. Crusher giving birth
>display pig slaughter footage on rear wall of holodeck
>disengage safety protocols
...
>Computer, run holodeck program "dukat_disciplines_bajorans.holo"
>replace all bajorans with simulation of Molly O'Brian based off of current physical medical records
>replace all versions of dukat with Chief Engineer O'Brian
>replicate Cardassian prostate modulator
>disengage safety protocols
kek
Computer. I recommend a full spread of torpedoes!
because you have spent all of your teen years fapping to the same images, which don't age, and you literally can not accept the idea of ageing.
I spent mine fapping to wedgie vids desu
>Computer preform the following sequence: create a simulation of me creating a simulation. In that simulated simulation create a simulation of me creating a simulation. Repeat the pattern where each simulation created contains a simulation of me creating a simulation. Disengage safety protocols.
...
Unable to comply