Ask a lawyer anything

Ask a lawyer anything

> Yes, that's me

do you often get mistaken for the criminal?

r u gay lol?

Do you get payed by buttsex?

Bargain bin Johnny rotten in a suit.

Do you own any other clothes, or do you just sleep in that outfit?

Why is your tie so long?

So many jelly faggots ITT, jelly of my success

This is what a real man looks like

Baby Huey, D.A.

you'd be hot in a red tie

Thanks.

Are you m or f?

Tie is longer than trumps

So succesful you seek validation in this corner of the internet.

I would not allow you to work my case. even if you were state appointed. really, especially if you were state appointed.

Time stamp or it didn't happen.

If you shaved that literal filth off of the top of your head, you'd look like an uglier (somehow) Kane from the WWE minus the inherent intimidation. You also have the body shape of a potato. All in all, 3/10 would not choose to represent me.

You don’t know how to wear a suit. You look like a kid in a school uniform.

How long have you been a ""man""?

Do you learn how to put on a tie in law school? Cause They did a bad job, you're wearing it like a loser.

The purpose of a tie is to cover the buttons on your shirt. It should never hang below the waste on your pants, it looks retarded when you do that.

I’d just plead guilty

Your loss pal

> me before I became a successful criminal lawyer

Are they just letting literally anyone become a lawyer now? Why would you ever get a haircut like that and fucking earrings if that was the profession you were going into? I would be embarrassed to be represented by you in court and I'm a 40 year old obese virgin with a micropenis.

what kind of law do you practice?

who took these photos

Spoony?

> shit hole house
> posting on Sup Forums
> lying
> suit game of a criminal
You’re definitely going to court to be tried, like fuck are you a lawyer.

are those dress shoes or steel toed black boots?

did your mom administer the bar to you

i'm a i'm 15 y/o (legal here in Tukyo, Texas), japanese-american transgender schoolgirl/boy, i am not a virgin again and my kik is "killt_hemf_uckingje_ws_567" PM message me privetely (they don't have emojis on this plebsy website so have this wink ; 0)

...

This wasn't even a brutal dressing down of this turd but it made me guffaw...

And dude doesn't look like the attorney but rather the defendant going in for sentencing on possession of CP. Sloppy ass off the rack suit & a haircut that is guaranteed to just piss off the judge into going straight from mandatory minimum to harshest sentence allowable by law.

you should be on /fa/

...

> me before I became a successful criminal

How you expect to be taken seriously with that haircut, ear ring and tie?

Be sure to come back and let us know if you get sentenced

There are too many lawyers being pumped out of the machine. So many lawyers thirsty for work are the reason why you can't sneeze beside someone without getting sued these days. Oh,and the reason it's so fashionable to cry victim these days? These assholes whispering into "victims" ears they should sue.

if that's what you want me to be it's ok for me, honey
1266 \o

kekd

Why did your dad leave the family?

lol
underrated

How long do I have to burn off calories that I eat before it gets stored on my thighs as fat?

3 hours

No offense, but source?

Why you such a faggot looking weirdo?

i always carry in a visible way my iphone aXe and my ipad pro 10'5. it shows i'm respectable and can be trusted

How does anyone take you serious with that ridiculous haircut and single earring piercing? Sport a real mohawk and larger gauge earrings in both ears then we'll talk.

But why do you look like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

kek

>your honor, id like to request new counsel. And im citing incompetent defense as my reason

Bet you hear that a lot. If youre actually a lawyer. But no, I wouldnt trust the main character from guitar hero 1 to be my lawyer

"Success"
>dirty low-end apartment

what did you get on the LSAT and what school did you go to?

Pmsl

>the main character from guitar hero 1
He didn't have a gut. Otherwise, pretty spot on.

If that's a real lawyer (and I'd stake the odds on 99.99999% chance, he's not), he's clearly gonna be a lifelong public defender. Then when he decides it's too much work for the 600 a week, he's gonna go on to be some type of retail manager.

That's clearly a man that got into some bottom tier sketchy law school with questionable credentials by barely passing pre-law. Then he proceeded to get Cs the whole time. Just enough to get that degree, but not good enough for it to mean anything and get him hired by law firms.

I've seen that type before, several times.

Hell, I knew a girl that had a B average in an accredited law school and she couldn't find work as a lawyer (generally speaking, lawyers are expected to be A honor at a prestigious university for the notable lawyer jobs). She was working at a prosecuter's office until she found it too morally questionable to do anymore (prosecuter's are hired guns that must attack even people they know are innocent, and they're expected to contort evidence to make for a tighter case). She worked in a grocery store.

Those who don't make the grade in law school (yet still manage to graduate) don't really go anywhere in life. If you don't have a family of lawyers, the money to start your own firm, or the grades to get hired at a prestigious place; lawyers can actually come out worst off than someone making 30k a year with all the student loan debt.

Also, if you ever want to win a case, looking credible helps hugely. Get some suits that fit (ask the girl at the store to measure you), lose the ear rings, lose the mohawk, and try wearing something that's not been crumpled up in a bin for a couple days. When credibility is important, you can't look like trash. But if you're a public defender, I bet the prosecution loves you, you set up that slam dunk case for them every time.

Guilty.

how do I sue moot for imageboard rape

why dont you know how to tie a proper tie?

Who's your Barber?

As another attorney, cut your fucking hair. You look like shit and bring the entire profession down with that stupid shit.

What is the legal pretense if say I go to businesses demand they pay me for protection or I will beat them with a bat. Could you get me out of such trouble?

JUST

And lose the earring faggot.

Not OP. That is called extortion. And yes, provided you are in my jurisdiction I could probably get you out of trouble for that but you still shouldn't do it.

Still not OP, if you actually threaten to beat them with a bat it is an armed robbery.

Who taught you to tie a tie?
Also, when are you going to verbally berate them for it?

couldn't you get a better suit? or even just button it up?