Alright Sup Forums i need some help here. I had a drug test today and didn't think i was gonna pass...

Alright Sup Forums i need some help here. I had a drug test today and didn't think i was gonna pass. I did some quick research and found this thing called the Sure Gel method. Basically you take a packet of this fruit pectin stuff, mix it with gatoraid, and boom you can pass a UA test. Only down side is that all my shits have been near 100% liquid and the one i took 10 minutes ago is pic related. what do?

Blood in poop is serious - You really need to go see a doctor.!
If your poop is bloody again next time you have to use the bathroom you really have to go to the ER!

That's the Gatorade faggot. And blood in stool isn't a big deal if it's red. The black tarry stool is when you get to a doctor. Had anal polyps before, if it's red it's at the end of the intestines, black is a much bigger issue.

doctor here.
fuck you and your drug habits.
Don't go to the er and quietly die innawoods.

doctor here.
fuck you and your drug habits.
Don't go to the er and quietly die innawoods.

doctor here.
fuck you and your drug habits.
Don't go to the er and quietly die innawoods

If you had any balls you'd tell them to fuck off for expecting you to take a drug test in the first place. I've done that and still got the jobs.

What are you some kind of trannie?

You fail your drug test because pectin causes a diluted sample. So they will reschedule you for sometime in the next 3 days. That shit is extremely outdated and shows up now because none of your levels will be correct.

You missed the plot of a faggot having to take a drug test in the first place.

Nonsense I have been shitting blood for 3 years and I'm fine
stop being a pussy its probably just hemorrhoids

You just caused yourself to shit all day. You're still gonna pop on that test

3 years? Good luck with your parasite goals of 2018

Dont worry too much... you are just pooping gatorade... stop drinking it. And start taking water. Keep hydrated and take some Imodium or something :)

shoulda had a whizzonator. Highly doubt theyd watch you being its for work

You don't pass unless it's a shit shit job.

It causes an "adulterated" sample and you get retested. Otherwise welcome to walmart I suppose

....i wished my poop was like water. methadone causes boulders to be made in my tummy and fails to come out my asshole, but instead causes hemorrhoids

Buy some synthetic urine from a smoke shop.

Correct, black tarry stool is a big deal and usually needs to get checked out be uae it could be bleeding farther up in your GI tract. Pepto-Bismal can make it that color and consistency too, so that can get in the way. Fun Fact: if you tell me you have black tarry stool, I have to put a gloved finger up your butt and run a quick test to see if its actually blood or not

wrong tag, my bad

help
last week i went home after work and felt very sick.
i had to puke at 3am and it was all brown and didn't smell like puke. so it was poop.
i had ghost shit diarrhea all week and sometimes white poop.
today i couldn't poop all day and now it just exploded out of me and smelled like puke!
wtf is happening? i feel very weak and ate like 1400kcal a day, bc i couldnt do more.
how many hours do i have left?

it makes you pass a ton of liquid so you dilute your sample
it will prolly look suspicious to them, you might want to get some pee from a clean person as soon as possible and keep it for a few days in case they decide to retest you

poop is nothing to worry about, youll be back to normal once its out of your system

>2018
>doing drugs

doctor here.
fuck you and your drug habits.
Don't go to the er and quietly die innawoods

McDonald's being short staffed and desperate for help doesn't count

When I had to take a piss test for my job I stopped smoking bud for 1 week and bought some drink that was supposed to mask the opoids and weed. It worked, I bought it from the porn shop, forget the nae though.