Confess

Confess.

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My neighbour called me a retard so i shat on his property

my life is a complete shambles and im too lazy to fix it

I believe in ayy lmaos

I wanna kms

This photo makes me tingle

Pic related

I have to sleep sometimes and it gets in the way of log posting on Sup Forums and /bant/

Don't do it.

Those teeth are horrendous

I ground em down for ya

Can relate.

I ejaculated in a measuring jug and microwaved it to see what'd happen.

I'm 25 and a virgin

What happened ?

i had sex with a dog

Nothing

I do not no da wey

I here ya bro shitposting on her and Sup Forums wastes a lot of time that I should be doing my job

Awws sucks. Was hoping some ayy lmao shiet to go down

I can show u de log

When I was a kid, my neighbor got a shiny Raikou in a pokemon card pack. I stole it from him, folded it in the middle, and pretended it was mine. It kinda hurts typing this now as I had completely forgotten it.

I visited my hot ass older cousin’s house yesterday and while she left to go get ice I scrambled in her room to find clothes and found one of her shoes. I then proceeded to furiously jerk of my three inch dick inside her shoe. Her dog proceeded to lick the cum of her shoe before I could take it back. So once the dog was done I put her shoe back. Before I left she hugged me and basically smothered me with her natural airbags. I’m masturbating Right now.

I stole two xbox one controllers from my friend. This richfag had like 5 of them. Prkbably didn't notice to this day.

i fucked my friends 10/10 qt sister

KEK.

Sorry user

*poop* *poop* *poop* on him breddas

I'm a reddit user.

You piece of shit gtfo REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I don't believe in GOD anymore, I am a retard (But my heart is in the right place).
I am a Virgin and I am a Spidey fag.

A big reason why I married the girl I did is because I didn't want to hurt her feelings by turning her down when she asked me on a date in high school.

I am pretty sure one of my best friends died directly because of me. Yea i'm a cunt.

I knew my [now ex] wife was planning to cheat on me but did nothing to stop her

Iv wanted an excuse to get out for so long, this way I get to keep the high ground

I wanted to get out of a shitty relationship for some 3 months and was waiting for an excuse to piss off. Totally broke her heart but well, it was in no way working out.

I'm in a marriage where I don't get enough pussy. Make CL post trying to find a girl to bang. Dude responds, tells me I have a amazing looking cock. He says if I let him suck it he'll pay. I'm broke so I say fuck it. He goes to town. I don't get hard. He says if I can get hard and fuck him he'll give me another hundred. I close my eyes and imagine tits bouncing and pussy squirting. Get hard, he gets on all fours and tells me to shove it in. I do. Close my eyes and go ham. Cum after five minutes. He cleans me if with mouth. Gives me 250, says email anytime, would love your great dick again. I guess I'm a gay hooker now?

You must leave.you can not be saved. Leave, leave and never come back.
Elaborate, son.
Did you sell the raikou card on amazon?

Quite a lot of people in this work/situation are willing to be gay for cold hard cash actually

I found my brother's reddit account where he was asking for relationship advice.

>elaborate on death of friend

It was a prank gone wrong involving me fucking around with his bicycle. He fell quite bad and died 6 months after getting home from the hospital from what was quite likely something wrong with his brain because of the fall. Don't want to be very specific, have never told anyone about this in person mostly because I'd lose all my friends who also knew and liked him. Also, there is no statute of limitations on manslaughter where I'm from, they will lock me up if I ever tell someone about this when I'm fucking 80 years old.

it sucks when theres nothing you can blarringly just go "this is the final straw" but it was just ten thousand shitty little things.

Worst of all is she was a dead fish in the sack... theres nothing worse then having what is essentially a sex toy at your disposal but your so.. disinterested you can even finish.
I was putting up with that shit for the last ten years.

Feels bad man.

I have found de wae

youtube.com/channel/UC9wpOLgp0K6xW4VJUVrZeiQ

No, I lost it.

I like men

What kept you at it for a whole fucking decade?

I've plotted ways to have sex with a 15 year old. And it didn't even work.

Wanna know a big secret? AoC is 14 where I live. And yes, i've done it, many times.

I voted for trump and i live in commiefornia. When asked I say i voted for hillary.

MAGA user

you gotta link us it dude

always cracks me the fuck up as that phrase means in my language user go to sleep

The sadest reason of all

Love.

I did love her, still kind of do i suppose, but... something about being with her was just driving me deeper and deeper into depression, I think maybe something in my broke some time in the last, 5 years or so. Im just, done with people and the constant drama they feel the need to surround themselves with.

Like i want her to be happy and have a successful life, but i just, no longer want to be a part/aware of it.

Nice try, FBI...

What language is that?

Kek. Did you kill someone?

I'm perfect. Sorry.

My nephew caught me watching interracial porn. He walked in and saw a white girl sucking a BBC. I wasn't masturbating or anything, just watching it

Lmao my 3 year old cousin caught me watching BDSM. It was fun hearing him try and explain what he saw to his dad. Wasn't fun anymore after he accused me of intentionally showing his son that. Almost sued me, fucking conservative cunt.

I don't think he really knows what he saw, he didn't even say anything, just started looking down at the ipad in his hands again

i fucked my best friends wife while he was passed out and while i was at their place drunk, then a few months later she filed for divorce, and then messaged me in private a god damn video of me fucking her, telling me that if i don't pay her $10000 she'll send it him.

Zack?

lol

nope

I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, and I don't do drugs. I don't have any sexually transmitted diseases. I have never been married before in my entire life. I don't have any tattoos on my body. I don't wear nose rings, lip rings, or tongue rings. I don't wear artificial nails or nail polish. I don't wear contact lenses. I don't go to parties, bars, or clubs. I don't grind on guys or drop it down low and bring it up slow. I don't twerk or swing on poles. I don't wear thongs. I don't strip or give guys lap dances. I don't call guys on the phone to have phone sex. I am not a gold digger. I don't make out with guys in public. I don't rough play with guys. I don't wear high heel shoes and revealing clothes with an intention of getting guys to check me out. I like to dress decent like a lady because I respect myself. I don't follow the crowd or try to fit in. I like to follow my own lead and stand out anong my peers. I don't hang around bad friends. I am not pressured by my peers because I know right from wrong and I try to stay out of trouble. I remained true to myself. I like myself just the way I am. I will never change myself for anyone. I am not materialistic and I wear what I can afford. I am content with what I have. I know that I have made the right choices in my life.

when i was ten i stole the know how book of paper planes from the newsagent and then threw it out due to guilt

She already filed for divorce so if she shows that to him then she fucks herself out of his money. You told her this, right?

I once red a NSFWIAMA your story is how it started. The guy made like 30,000 in three years blowing guys.

Sweet dubs

Do you want to be my gf?

Its a pasta faggot

I’ve successfully hidden the fact that I am a pack a day smoker from my gf for 2 and a half years.

i stole my brother reese's peanut butter cups

So, the answer is no?

I’m sorry user. Losing a friend is hard enough.

when i was in school my friend beat up the blind kid while he was on his own, i don't even know why he did it, but it destroyed his happy attitude to life, it never came back, and he never got caught, because he couldn't see who it was. afaik i'm the only person my friend ever told.

Kek

What a cunt. Getting his eyes poked out would serve him right.

GO AWAY, STOP THIS!

Sounds like your uncle is a fucking idiot if he thinks he can sue for that.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. By calling you "father" I have assumed your gender.

nah, you should at least try

lmao what a pussy.

I never care about people who want to commit suicide but people like you are the best

Nice

so he was right

You might as well be a unicorn at this point. A good head on your shoulders is almost impossible to find nowadays. People are so self absorbed and buried in vices

I've attempted to kill my self multiple times but i'm to much of a bitch to do it. I've also got another friend who is cutting etc, and i don't tell him off just give him ideas on what to cut onto him convinced him to make a smiley face on his leg.

What a mature thing to do. Retard.

Have a fetish for priests, i really dont want it tho

You son of a bitch.

Actually if he was able to prove that user did intentionally show it then he would have been able to sue

Stay man normies.
The funny thing is he never realized it was me. I took a shit on his property about 2 weeks after the fact.

Seriously you are an asshole

I've only ever had sex with one person, whom I married. I think about what sex with other people is like from time to time.

You've crossed the line. Give it back to him.

Wow, the least faggoty post I've ever saw on 4chins. Good for you chinky..

But you're still a lame attention whore...

Now tits or get the fuck out and leave these white trash and niggers to wallow in their filth.

Did you just assume their gender?

...

Im a satanist

i eat far more than necessary