Age

> Age
> Number of girls you've slept with
> Worst sexual experience

ill start

28
40
chubby slut i can barely keep it up for asks me to go down on her. not only does she not shave, she has a fucking roastie. boner lost. mood killed.

...

Age - 40
Number slept with - 1
Worst experience - turned out it wasn't a woman

...

Pic related?

I'm:

Age: 29
Number of sexual partners: 19
Worst sexual experience: Meeting a girl off the internet who said she was a model. She ended up being one of the most physically repulsive girls I had ever seen in person. Absolute nutcase, too. A total Catfish situation. She begged me after 10 beers each to eat her pussy and I obliged, tearfully. I had to muster up the courage to lick her sweaty pussy and it smelled like chicken soup I kid you not. Nasty, nasty pussy. She pretended to cum in my mouth and I wiped my mouth off and told her I had to go home.

Dropped her off at her grandma's house (where she still lived at 24 years old). She begged me (again) to sneak in and fuck around. We spent an hour in her bedroom, maybe two hours- snorting xanax and climaxing repeatedly with each other. Her pussy still smelled like chicken soup. Horrible. I could smell it on my cock for a week, it felt like. I came on her sheets and I just imagined her little old granny cleaning off her nasty sheets and it made me depressed. I didn't use a rubber, either. THANK GOD I didn't knock her up. Would have had to have ugly babies with this bitch.

Gross.

Wow! Great tits.

31

1

Not having sex until I was 25. Still, long term relationship and baby now.

nah just some pic i saved. that's so nasty. you must have been thirsty to keep going at it. would have at least got her to takea shower first

Great read! Thanks soup dick.

Savage. I get bored of every girl I've been with after a few months. Can't imagine having to bang the same one forever

...

29
22
Happened recently. Met a trans girl on tinder. Go pick her up and were making out in the back of my car. Having a little trouble keeping it up because shes pretty much just laying there. Throw a condom on and start fucking her boi pussy. Pull out to switch positions and she farts. Instant boner killer. Couldnt get hard again. Nobody came and it was very dreary after that. Didnt see her again.

You say that like you've achieved something.

You fucked a mentally ill dude who farted on your cock

>trap
you mean a due
>boipussy
his asshole

22
5
Bitch never showered correctly(didn't know that yet)And as i was eating her ass i got a booty flake. I stopped boner killed and that was that. I fucked her a couple of more times, but she was to small and would whine, she couldn't suck a cock even though she was older then me by a year at the time, Even when i was a virgin at vag sex. she couldn't do anything right. Worst fuck for anyone really.

27
3
I couldn't cum the first time, I was 17 and nervous.

40
No idea i don't keep track. Probably 15 to 20.
The time one girl had a flashback to being raped and ran to the kitchen got a knife and tried to stab me.

That's why you don't fuck with girls that have issues

31

15

Met my wife when I was 21. She was #11. 12-15 have been in the last 6 months and were her idea.

>15
>120
>her pussy was so tite but it was to tite and i couldnt fit my dick in it

Forgot worst experience. It was a pussy that smelled so bad that I could still smell it in my car a week later.

ultra kek

fuck that’s worse than me
>31
>3 girls starting at 25
>no kid
women generally annoy me and I’m just not that interested in sex vs fapping

28
24
Had to be during a thirstier time on Tinder when I learned that chicks that have only closeup pictures in their profile are fat as fuck. I met up with this hoe “Kate” and was thirsty/annoyed, so I made her suck my dick and I fucked her but she was so fat that her stomach was literally interfering. I had to take a shower right after because I was disgusted with myself.

Cute enough face though

>23
>9
> that one time I was on a long dry spell, tapping way too much which progressed to trap porn and eventually full on gay porn, hook up with a guy on grindr, go to hotel room, is very attractive by demotion.
>Could not stay hard when I was fucking him, had to shut my eyes and told him to be quiet and pretend I was fucking a chick
>Still couldn't cum
>FELT SHAME
> at least I'm not a faggot

I'm a fat guy, and that stomach interference is my main reason for losing weight. It is so much worse when both people are fat.

By definition**

yes you are

Well I commend you— both for losing the weight and also for getting some pussy man.

So you were fucking a guy in the ass, and it was only weird when he farted?

literally the only position that has worked for me is on her back with her legs up and open. everything else is just shitty.

also the last fat chick i banged gave me thrush. so gross

>new /b in a nutshell

I’m 21
Haven’t slept with any girls Wells because I am a girl but I want a girl to tease me so bad

that'll put you off from it

>23
>1
>she was sitting on my lap and when I putt mu dick in she shit herself

>18
>0
>

>she was older then me by a year at the time
>at the time
Older than her now then?

23
2
Either when my ex asked me to call her "my little whore" out of nowhere while we were fucking and I just burst out laughing (sounds funnier in my language), or when I was fucking her doggystyle, tried to slap her ass, mistimed it and hit my own balls (I was a touch drunk).
In retrospect, I understand why she's my ex, now.

18
2
Was in a relationship with this one girl that was kinda weird but cute, was really into roleplay stuff but I didn't mind it too much. One day mid-fuck she asks me to cut her cheek with a knife, I refuse of course, she gets kinda mad, slaps my face super hard and makes me finger her until she cums while im on the verge of tears the whole time feelsbadman
We still dated for a few times after that tho

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

tits or gtfo

degrading a girl is great. how on earth did you slap your own fucking balls bro. did you reach around yourself to slap her or what?

25
>8

Couldn't get it up with one girl cause she literally was not making any facial expressions but boredom the entire time we were making out/4play

The next time I was able to go for a while but the same thing happened.

I now know what dead fish means

I said no homo before I left so it's all good

20
0
also have never hugged/kissed/held hands with a girl
I haven't even spoken to one who wasn't a store employee since I was 15

Like, all over your lap? That's kinda hot in it's own way. Details, plz

TOP KEK

>degrading a girl is great
Now I'm into it, but at the time It was very unexpected and it sounded ridiculous the way she said it.

> how on earth did you slap your own fucking balls bro
Mistimed it. Instead of hitting her ass in between pelvic strokes, I hit it at the same time, and a bit of my right ball got under my hand. Not very pleasant.

bullshit you little faggot

Age: 23
Girls: 4
Worst experience was probably the third girl, i was at a convention, she was dressed as a star trek girl. We were watching some mystery science theatre 3000 and having a lot of fun. We left together, got some drinks and went back to her hotel room. We get to it and she just passes out halfway through.

Let her sleep and hung out in the room to make sure she was good. Great girl, probably would have been a better lay if she hadn't passed out, but whatever. Unsatisfied/10

20 and 4. all of them were girlfriends. Worst experience was with my current gf. I hadnt been in a relationship for 2 years when we first got together and i desperately wanted to smash, But the first time we tried I was high on percs and couldnt get it up, And once we finally fucked the next day. I lasted maybe 10 seconds and blew my load with her on top. Luckily she understood. 2 years is a long time for no pussy. I couldnt handle it fam. Im still with her now, its been almost 3 years

Yes, not all over, but there was a fair amount of it. She is paraplegic and when I put my dick in it hit her cervix and the resulting spasm caused her to lose what little bowel control she had. I wiped away the wort of it with a towel and carried her to the shower where I cleaned us off and calmed her down since she was on the verge of a panic attack.

32
not sure, over 100
worst: i took this girl i used to work with on a date. we saw a movie then went to the beach to park up. she tells me she loves sucking dick, pulls my cock out, has one taste then stops. i honestly wasnt expecting to get anything so i wasnt exactly pristinely clean around the dick area.

that was over 10 years ago, to this day i always keep my dick 100% clean no matter the situation. any young guys reading this please do the same

Don't give up my dude

42
30something???

Was in a long term relationship with a girl years ago. We went through a drunk faze for a while. Anyway, fucking her one night and the smell coming from her pussy was like a Red Lobster dumpster in the middle of summer. Unbelievable stench. Had to stop mid fuck. Pulled my dick out and the smell only got worse. Girlfriend goes to the doctor. Turns out she had a tampon jammed way up in there. She came to the conclusion that on one of our heavy drinking nights she must have put a tampon in when she already had one in and the original one got pushed up and forgotten about. Mind you this is over a week after she finished her period. Bad sex, but I feel bad for the doctor that had to tong that thing out of her.

>watches gay porn
>fucked a guy
>at least I'm not a faggot

22
2
Just broke up with a my long term gf who was smokin with perfect tits and settled for another girl, she rode me so hard i thought she broke my dick twice. Hurt like hell.

25
32, more than half of then Asian (lived in California and Tokyo)

Have had serious performance anxiety for years, couldn't get it up for girl in first year of Uni, fell for her hard, then she dated my best friend for two years.

Bitch didn't want any foreplay at all though, wouldn't let me even touch her. A nigga gotta get in the mood, cmon.

Boi, things can get better...
I'm 23 and started at 18, just had two partners, both gfs... first one lasted 3 years and the
girl I'm with now has been with me for almost 2 years... Don't lose hope, if I could, anyone can

>38
>over 60. lost count years ago
>work with chick who was a lifeguard for the summer visiting from England, me 24, she's 21
>She's been flirting for weeks, but too fat for me
>She goes on diet during the summerand loses 15 pounds in 6 weeks
>get drunk with her and her roommates one night
>after beers, she's looking just fuckable
>take her home
>admits she's a virgin
>put on condom and stick it in her
>her pussy is so tight and shallow that I can only fit in 2 or 3 inches
>she pushes me away after 60 seconds
>try to lube up with spit and force it in
>she clinches and I can't get back in
>ask for blowjob
>"nope.jpg"
>She ends up giving me a half-hearted handjob while she sobs
>accuses me afterwards of taking advantage
>she says "you don't even care about me"
>basically accuses me of rape over the phone, despite the fact that she went home with me and had been begging for a hookup for weeks

...

37
5 girls
been married for 11 years so only one in that time
worst was an ex who was horny during her period and wanted to do it, blood is no a good lubrican and my dick was sore for 3 days after

I live in the middle of the woods in bumfuck nowhere, dirt poor with barely a pot to piss in. what was I really expecting in life honestly?

>23
>2 girls
>met with a guy from craiglist and my ass is still sore, this was 3 years ago

i read this story like 10 times this week, boy

Any sisters or cousins?

>31
>21

Worse so far
>Be me
>Be 19
>Get drunk off 2/3 bottles wine in dorm
>Friends: Lets go to party, well drive you
>Fuckit.jpg
> 7.3/10 Short stack qt3.14 I'd seen around is there and is just as trashed.
>Talk for awhile and share 3rd bottle of wine
>She lives just down the road from the party
>bangthisslut.exe
>Get to her house and immediately stsrt taking off each other clothes
>Tongue and nipples pierced
>hnnggghhh.wav
>Sucks my cock like there is mustard gas in the air
>still the best head to date
>starts to ride me real hard
>Error: stomach.exe has just crashed
>Try to push her off but too late
>Geiser of blood red puke erupts upward completely covering her
>Trying to clean up def starting to black out at this point
>Remember dry heaving in bright bathroom
>Next thing in dark room again having sex
>Short stack qt3.14 is riding me
>Feel her tits
>No piercings...hmmm tits feel different too
>Slowly realizing I'm fucking her real fat gross slut roommate
>Dry heave.ps1
>Can't even throw up any more
>Blindly find my way back to short stack qt's room
>pass out
>Wake hearing her and all her roommates laughing at me in the next room
>humiliation.ppt
>Leave number, nuggget to apologize and start my walk of shame

And that is how a man can be raped! ;-)

none that I've ever met

You definitely should be raped by niggers for your crimes.

Savage

You have a baby sized dick?

30
34
I thought I was gonna let a tranny suck my dick but turns out it was just a fem guy that wanted to lick my ear. gross

28
7
too lazy to type it out.

>19
>0

after i dated her for 4 years, i would like to think i mentally grew more then she did.

she was one of those types that just yelled about her ex's being abusive. low an behold she did the same when we broke up, and to the next guy and the next.

the best irony is that she was a whore who was bad at sex.

>33
>1

>gf on period
>dick goes in butt
>butt is too tight
>dick goes flacid
>take dick out
>shit comes out after dick
>too horney to stop
>start fapping
>avoid looking at shit
>look at the ceiling
>smell is bad
>cum over her ass
>run to bathroom
>wash dick with shitload of soap

>22
>71
Waking up the morning after getting drunkenly dragged to my room at our house party by a fat chick with a half-shaved head for mediocre sex. The best part was she tried to say I took advantage of her (cuz I kicked her out at 7am) If the roles were reversed I'd be a rapist. Wasn't the worst sex I've had but definitely the biggest regret

Pic very unrelated

31
8
First one I fucked her pussy and then I crammed my dick up her ass and pounded her as hard as I could but my log of a dick ripped her ass so hard she shat blood so I had to stop midway with a ruined orgasm and get her to hospital and explain what happened...

>33
>7, including 3 long-term gfs
> One of them wanting to make out after going A2M.

Oh, that or banging a hairy vagina on her period. Turns out the vagina expands, was basically a hot dog in a blood-filled hallway

>27
>17
> mutually agreed to fuck before fucking for the first time
>really just wanted to fuck someone else (whom I could have fucked) instead
>first time lost my bonder
>she kept asking for sex
>if both of us had been more experienced it would have been a lot better.

Let me correct this for you:
>Met a fag on tinder
>Go pick him up
>Make out in the back of my car
>He's pretty much just laying there
>Having a little trouble keeping it up
>Throw a condom on
>Start fucking his ass
>Pull out to switch positions
>He farts
>Instant boner killer
>Couldn't get hard again
>Nobody came
>It was very dreary after that
>Didn't see him again

20
16

Chubby girl, she tricked me by only posting pics of face and sucking in cheeks to appear thinner.
Drove to her apartment 1 hour away and not only was she fatter than me but also taller, and I'm not a thin and short guy.
Didn't want to hurt her feelings so I slept with her, her pussy felt like 2 waterballoons with lube between them. after i came I looked at the sheets and saw a pile of blood, almost threw up many times that evening.

Also themyth about chubby girls have tighter pussies is not true at all, fuck right off

Jezus, what made you pull through?

You're gross.

>24
>0
>This thread

>27 about to be 28
> 6
>That's a tough question. The wench I lost my virginity to was a total harpy and really not good in the sack, so I guess it was that. I don't know... TBH most of my sexual experiences haven't been rewarding, especially the one night stands.

>fap trap porn
>fap to gay porn
>hook up with a guy on grindr
>find guy very attractive
>fucking a guy
>???
>at least I'm not a faggot
are we doing a contest who's best in denial?

I'm not damaged by it but I just didn't realize how gross women could be.

>27
>About 20
>Broke up with my girlfriend, so I decided to fuck the first girl I could find on Tinder. Happened to be an overweight Indian girl. Got drunk and mashed my half hard penis into her vagina. Couldn't stay hard, so eventually I ended up just jerking off into her mouth.

Sitting here trying to figure our which soup slogan best fits our chicken soup hero.

>so chunky you can eat it with a fork

Or

>Mmm, Mmm, good.

>37
>1
>sleeping with a girl
Fire hydrants are ok tho

nice toilet seat ring on her ass..

Liar

>21
>0
>

>>Dry heave.ps1
points for powershell

51
3

First was when I was 16, she was a virgin, didn't realize it. Bloody dick. Blood on my t-shirt. Thought she had her period, still happy I lost my virginity. Spent next 2 months fucking her. (fucked her again at 18, and she told me I was her first - ah, said the blind man, now I understand the blood). Huge tits and cute.

Second was at 17, crazy bitch. Lots of good sex. I mean really. Lasted a few months. Nice tits, cute. Glad she cheated on me, she really was a crazy bitch. Made up stories about her father raping her at 11. Maybe true.

Later that year, played around with a hot girl, nice tits, only got to the point of 4 fingers in her, she wouldn't go for the D because she promised her mother she wouldn't. Another crazy bitch, actually.

First one again at 18. Nice night. 30 years later, friend her on Facebook, realize she has a daughter from "her first marriage". Bring up calculator in a panic. Nope, a year off. Phew!

Third was at 23. Married woman, was 29. Nice. Pretty. Smart. One kid, 8 years old. Made friends with her and her husband a year earlier, seduced the FUCK out of her, got her, made her divorce her husband, married her, had two kids, still with her. Only problem? Her first kid is a heroin addict on and off for the past 20 years. Fuck him, the little bitch. Not my problem.

(You)

Oh, and no worst experience EVER. They were all good. Even the ones I didn't get to give the D, I just went home and fapped. Still think about those, and fap. Wife has no idea.

Winner winner, chicken soup dinner

Tried to slap her ass and hit your own balls?
>How did you get the beans above the frank?

(You)

Oh wait, just thought of one. Was 16, virgin, messing around with some sloot after school. Nice tits, nice body. Feeling her up, rubbing pussy through jeans, she's into it. Make out. Almost throw up. Gingivitis. Smells like Red Lobster's dumpster in the summer.