What would Sup Forums do if there was a zombie apocalypse? How would you defend yourself, where would you go?

What would Sup Forums do if there was a zombie apocalypse? How would you defend yourself, where would you go?

Go live in a mountain valley far from any populated town. Bring muh guns with me.

stand above the zombies with a sharp stick

Grab as many of my supplies as I can and head north to the family cabin, drive as much as possible and hike the rest while avoiding roads. Same plan if anything else shit happens to be honest.

the ONLY way to survive is to get out of the city, and since everyone is going to try the same thing, the only way is to have advanced knowledge

Well if you're far from any towns or cities there will be no zombies.

Go straight to my local big box liquor store.

>Be me
>see zombies on the horizon
>my time has come
>run to the local Dan Murphys
>generator in the loading dock
>roof access
>building is built to withstand people breaking in
>shatter proof glass, securamesh on all windows, bollards and armored roller doors with high powered motors.

Also full of booze

>in an apocalypse the only things guaranteed to retain wealth are vice
>drugs, sex and alcohol
>use my newfound wealth to raise a new empire in the post apocalyptic landscape
>live as a king

All you have to do is go to an island. Everyone knows zombies can’t swim.

Until your food and water run out.

This.
I'm going to stay right where I am, because I live in the middle of fucking nowhere, the nearest town is almost 10 miles away, and it only has about 800 people in it.

Or you could just go to the local movie theater.
Can't get in there without a ticket, and zombies can't buy tickets because they can't talk.

That’s the idea mate, northern Ontario gowganda area is perfect. Game all year, fish all year. Bug season would suck but nothing I haven’t experienced before. Reinforce the cabin and surroundings as much as possible and keep the radio healthy.

Or go to the airport, everyone knows zombies can’t get through the TSA. With your new found ticket fly away from zambies.

I reckon I could trade a bottle of Jacks for a bottle of water from the local supermarket

Would stock up on canned goods immediately and go live in the country with my grandparents. Make long term plans to drive to west Texas to rebuild civilization incase this is the happening.

Good idea.
Or go to Sam's club or Costco, they won't be able to get in without a membership.

Go to the fair. Zombies won't be able to get you on a ferris wheel.

This. Theres no way a zombies going to get past a TSA worker.

Better yet go to the hospital, only high priority patients get their own rooms, and them being dead automatically makes them low priority.

Or on a roller coaster

True. Plus, their insurance won't cover them, what with them being dead already and all.

i would attack zombies with a stick

A pike would work better.

I'd go hide at the capitol in Washington.
All the people with no brains will make me undetectable to the zombies.

Is death considered a pre-existing condition or a post-existing condition?

>whynotboth.jpg

If they were dead before they got to the hospital, it'd be pre-existing, I would think.

pre-post-existing?

Go to the SPCA and get a zombie dog as a pet.

Take over a Military base. My own private military. Take over an entire city.

Be mr k.

trap loads of zombies. Keep them well fed so they dont eat me. Use them as an army.

1.Slow or fast zombies?
2.Dumb or can they figure stuff out?
3.Does the desease spread fast or does it take time to become one of them.

leave apartment to go shopping.
walk through the empty and silent streets, like usual.
get to store, enter and instantly eaten

>the walking dead type
>dumb
>spreads in 4 mins after being bit

Post-pre existing.

Go to costco. Big doors and no windows plus all the food, water and everything else you would need.

Just get a fishing boat with a desalination system and you could survive indefinitely.

Not really. You would have to know how to maintain and repair it.

>country with almost no guns
>people wont go full barbaric
>clear out small areas with spears
>build small walls with cars/furniture
>seperate small town into districts by using the walls/houses/briges/river whatsoever
>preventing classic chaos spreading by doing so
>beeing autistic af for thinking that much about it
>cry

This could work, but you'd have to go back to land every once in a while to get fuel for the boat

>sail
>solar power

Post on Sup Forums

Saltwater and batteries? On my boat?

>Move into a gated community
>create an intra-net
>play multilpayer games with others in the community

For a few weeks until everything perishable rots and breeds all kinds of pests and fungi that will probably shit and breed everywhere, ruining your Costco.
>all the milks in the dairy aisle finally explode into fermented clouds of rot

>Stay on the move. If you try to hole up somewhere, they will eventually get in
>Travel light and travel alone. You don't want to be slowed down by a bunch of equipment/supplies, and having other people to worry about will just cause problems
>Scavenge any supplies/food you might need. Learn how to live off the land, and you'll probably be fine
>Acquire a bicycle for faster travel. Bikes need no fuel, are mostly silent, and can be taken places other vehicles can't. Also, they're usually pretty light, and can be carried if need be, and a bicycle is relatively simple to repair, and alot of parts that fit on one bike can be easily adapted to fit on another.

>get shot

You could dump the perishables outside, though, just toss it off the roof, or out a loading dock or something.

Then you invite more pests that already exist to congregate where you dumped the perishables, plus wildlife, and probably zombies.

Wait it out. Seriously you think this shit will last?

Not if you're smart about it, and don't just blindly wander into a place that might be guarded. If you meet people, offer to trade with them or help them out in some other way. If a place looks like it might be off limits, steer clear of it.
A little common sense goes a long way.

No the outdoor zombies would disintegrate after being in the rain for years.

Better to have that shit outside than inside, though.

>chain up the good looking zombie chicks
>zombie brothel
>bada bing
>bada bung
>$$$
>sell the brothel and reinvest money into bitcoins
>bubble pops
>suck dick 2 survive
>no
>difference

Well you would probably have some time on your hands

You could use the expired veggies and fruit for compost and build an indoor farm.

The internet was made to withstand a nuclear war. Would it still be up during a zombie apocalypse? If so post on Sup Forums.

Yeah. And all the other materials you need like bags of dirt, and wood to build frames for the garden beds would be right there in the store, along with any tools you might need to build them. Also fertilizer and seeds.

>tries to be smart about it
>sees a person chopping wood
>doesn't see anyone else
>looks friendly enough
>attempts to greet them and mentions trade
>gets shot by a man behind some trees
>gets decapitated by the man with the axe

You could upload pics of your transformation into a zombie.

I would barricade myself in my flat and wait until it clears off
I'm terribly sorry to burst your bubble but either infected or undead zombies would pretty quick disapear by itself or killed by frost/humans

A time lapse video.

Yeah I figure hang around a major port where parts and fuel would be plentiful, and you could avoid severe weather.

Move to the woods and chop down trees with my fist block by block. Create a stick sword and hunt cows, pigs and chickens. Then build a stone fireplace and cook the meat. Create a quick shelter underground with a torch on the wall for light.

>I'd pack a backpack full of rope, a hammer, nailgun and nails, my bowie knife, and a thermos filled with crushed glass
>then I'd strip completely naked except the backpack
>drive to my ex's house, and if I see a dog on the way I'm running it over
>break into my ex girlfriend's house
>her cunt mom will probably be there
>shoot the mom with nailgun in the neck like 7 times, then stab her twat with the knife leaving the knife stuck in her after the 15th stab
>now it's my ex's turn
>bash her kneecaps and elbows with the hammer until they're broken
>hogtie her with the rope
>smash her teeth to shards with hammer
>pour thermos of broken glass down her throat
>pull knife out of her moms puss
>sniff it
>stab ex in her asshole 3 times then cut her throat open
>go to ex's closet
>put on her old prom dress she still has
>go to her bathroom
>apply her whore makeup on my face
>vigorously masturbate to myself pretending to be her, even doing a voice impression of her
>cum in her sink
>lay down next to her body and cuddle her
>fall asleep
>wake up the next day and try to survive the zombie
>kill myself if I get bitten

That's a risk you have to take, though. I'm sure there'd be people like that around, but there'd also be plenty of folks who wouldn't just kill you no questions asked, too.
Shit, you could get murdered even now by some random asshat just walking to the store or something, and there aren't even any zombies yet.

Gas would evaporate in time till there was none left anywhere.

That would take years, especially in the underground tanks at gas stations. They're designed and buried in the ground specifically to minimize evaporation as much as possible, among other things.

Diesel would be better. You can use used oil in a deep fryer like at kfc to make it.

>lay down next to her body and cuddle her
>fall asleep
lost game m8 she bit u while u were asleep

That would get me loads of likes on facebook,

Minecraft?

You'd go batshit insane after spending a couple years on that boat. The real horror would be in your own mind.

How'd she bite me if I bashed out her teeth, dumbass?

>won the game

Do what dick proenneke did.

Go up and down the coast find Wi-Fi stream Netflix and porn. I would be fine.

start another trap thread

I'd just bring my laptop, which has loads of porn and movies and games on it already, in case the internet goes down.

>trap thread
Zombie traps?

Round up famous zombies and charge people to view them.

Zombie bill murray?

ofc

>zombie apocalypse
>put trash bin on zombie
>repeat 4 times
>build zombie vehicle
>steer with flesh on a stick
>zombies dont bother zombies
>drive with zombievehicle throught zombie masses
>undercover
>hav a gud tiem