Be me

>be me
>17 year old junior in high school
>severe depression and anxiety
>on 20mg daily of prescribed Lexapro and 10mg of some anxiety meds
>dad came to visit from germany a few weeks ago for my birthday
>(german born living in america with divorced parents)
>retired firefighter with heavy depression from working 13 years too long
>I tell him about all my problems
>he tells me I should slowly lean myself off the meds because I could he worse off when they take me off of them
>wellshit
>havent taken my antidepressants and anxiety meds in about 2 weeks because had a heavy cold and nyquil interacts with my meds
>could have started again about a week after but didnt
fast forward another week
>third week of no meds
>things start getting rough
>anxiety kicks up, paranoia about a lot of things
>afraid to talk to friends because I dont want to ruin their happiness
>dont know what to do
>whenever im not either with friends or somehow else distracted my mind goes to bad places
>suicidal thoughts come flooding back
>so do drug habits
>be me 30 minutes ago
>take 700mg of benadryl caps for the high
>hasnt quite kicked in yet
>now realizing what is really happening to me
>everything was going fine until i went off my meds, now im suicidal and getting back to drugs to numb the pain
>lost my last girlfriend a year ago because of constant alcoholism
>remember that one time i got drunk and almost tried to shoot myself with my dad’s gun
>might just fuck up tonight

any advice? I always spiral into this cycle of meds and drugs, and I can’t get out of it. Feeling pretty worthless rn.

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Dude just take your meds. Consistently. Don't take cold meds, I never have and I've survived. Take the meds that obviously help you, kick your other drug and chemical habits, live your life. Simple. Even if you have to go to rehab to kick those other habits, its worth it.

do it faggit

Nobody cares

I quit citalopram cold turkey after being on it for like two years

Had like brainzaps and cold sweats and shit was no fuckin good

Those things are bad haha. I'm glad I'm off them (and the drugs )stop being a pussy and deal with the stress faggot, i think about suicide every day still not gonna do it, cowardly ass move

Take your meds. Don't ever stop without consulting a psychiatrist. Try switching medications. I take Zoloft and it doesn't help on its own. You need to be proactive about what you do. Go outside for a run or exercise or some shit. Do something that helps you and gets you out of the house

Be cool, man, you can do this.

Look up narcotics / alcohol anonymous in the area, start going to meetings

This guy's videos are really helpful with addiction in general:
youtube.com/watch?v=zDnwfULWHoc

Also NoFap is helpful with addiction kicking in general.

It's cliche but it's true, you CAN do it. So do it, for your sake, 'cause you're too fuckin young to die. Stay strong m8, we've all been there.

What the fuck has happened to Sup Forums

i did 400-600mg of benadryl literally every day for about 5 months, at high doses benadryl acts as a deliriant and dissociative, doing that ripped me from reality and i haven't recovered since. it only made my general anxiety turn into panic attacks, and now i have seizures too from it. my advice is to not take any pharmaceuticals and start taking CBD (cannibidiol) oil. it gives you a good body high, motivation to do things, blasts my depression out of existence, and stop me from having my newly developed seizures. out of everything i've tried CBD has helped the most with profound effects.

I have the same problem, my father also told me to stop with the meds, but my psychiatrist assured me it would help. (And it does.)
But I don't know why, I always forget to take them and it results in some shitty days now and then.
Maybe you're not suicidal, I think you just don't care whether you get high or die anymore. (At least that's what happens to me.)
I've been popping 90mg of vyvanse the whole day until this moment, it makes me "not sad" and kinda euphoric.
Just keep taking your meds and hang out with friends, user. I know everything looks fucked right now, but if you actually think, it's not impossible to be okay.

Haagen dazs. Lots of haagen dazs

tried changing up your prescription? lexapro might not be the one for you, it wasn't for me, but you might find help in another antidepressant. furthermore, make sure you're sleeping as well as you can and trying to actively take chances that might turn out well, you'd be surprised how much it can help. best of luck to u op

>i did 400-600mg of benadryl literally every day for about 5 months
... Why? There's readily available and better drugs (I've done dph etc quite a bit it is nasty stuff)

Underage b&.

He's German that doesn't apply to him.

i had to quit weederino for legal purposes, and benadryl gives a surprisingly similar high, but has detremintal effects, i'm not sure when these seizures and weird heart feeling will go away.

What meds do you take, by the way?
I'm currently on Vyvanse(ADHD), Lexapro(Depression), Lyrica(Anxiety) and Bupropion(Depression).
They do a pretty good job when taken properly.

This GTFO newfag reeeee

>because I could he worse off when they take me off of them

I have no idea what the fuck you were trying to say

>Lyrica
>Vyvanse

You've got good shit you ever take a high dose of Lyrica? I've heard it's like a better alcohol drunk feeling

>Similar

There's where you're wrong.

Did tonnes of the shit DPH is not anything at all like weed

yo that cat is rad
you should repost this thread on /adv/ tho

dude your fuckin 17. Life is constantly changing. just chill out you got nothing to stress about. watch something funny or something and just relax. You'll be good man. I had very similar issues as you in highschool and now I can't believe i even thought about that shit

Also, if they're actually your friends, they'll be there for you if you just ask.
Don't worry about ruining their happiness, I bet they're happier when you actually interact then when you keep everyone out.
I know anxiety sucks, but you just got to deal with that shit by talking to people close to you.

Dude....
Hope this helps
>18 yrs old
>deems Schitzo-effective by some curry smelling doctor
>next 27 years spend on psych meds (thorazine-haldol-resperidal-clozaril)..
>could fill a thread with the Big Pharma poisons I was on
>move to Malden,MA
>MA approve medical marijuana
>www.fuckbigpharma.com...start using medical marijuana ONLY...no more poisons.
>1 yr later...holding a 32 hour a week job
>signed my life away on a car loan for a 2017 Dodge Avenger
>feel better than I have in the fucked up years on Big Pharma meds...dispite all the Anxiety of coming back into the normal world
pic related a promo pic of 275$ a month for 30 months

Didn't feel much by overdosing on Lyrica, also it was a long time ago so I don't remember perfectly.

Sounds like a massive pussy.

Also watch out when you overdose, my family used to find me confused and hallucinating all the time back when I used to take Ambien or Benzos.
They are traumatized because of that shit, I don't have unlimited access to my meds because of it.
I'm pretty sure either my dad or mom are going to find out today that I took 270mg of Vyvanse in a day, and I'm worried as shit for I don't want to hurt them any more I did for all these years.

Sorry for talking too much, but I know how anxiety and depression feels like, and I like to help myself by helping people who also suffer from the same meme.

Nigga just left me talking by myself

get a social worker to help you. idk if you can get one assigned to like i did during my chemo, but a counselor/psychiatrist might do. use that person to talk, small talk at first, then about your fears and worries. make sure its face to face and not someone that will judge you. Talking might clear some anxiety but not the depression, they usually have exercises for that. once you gain some, confidence try to set some goals with them, like capping the amount of meds or how often you take walks outside.

Why do u say u havent recovered from reality plz explain?

I miss OP