Yo Sup Forums im getting a therapist what should i expect?

yo Sup Forums im getting a therapist what should i expect?

Getting suckered.

i went once. they made me do all the talking

unnecessary genital manipualtion

i'm in therapy, she just keeps telling me how my job probably isn't great for me

i'd rather talk about how I want to die

expect him to force a burning cactus up your gaping anus then hack your dick off with a blunt penknife

Therapy I suppose

I hear all this bad shit about therapy about how its a scam and they dont talk or do shit but ive been going for 2+ years and hes always been helpful giving advice and working with me etc

A once optimistic but now burdened old crow trying to get through another day sober while listening to more peoples bullshit.

What are you in for anyway

An asshole who is too narcissistic to comprehend that he is narcissistic asshole. He'll just try to rule your life. And manipulate your mind into believing that you're a bad person, or will convince you that you're a victim.

You should expect to go broke. They charge out the wazoo and yield virtually nothing but a waste of time.

forced boiling hoisin sauce enemas

Can confirm, happens more often than people think.
I'd like to say the best orgasm of my life was worth it, but what am supposed to do with the memory now? Jerk off with the dick I don't have?

aww poor baby go see your shrink

expect him to force angry hornets down your urethra with a chopstick

Did you want a standard Sup Forums answer or a real answer?

Your first session isn't going to solve all your problems or anything. You'll tell them a bit about yourself and what kinds of things are bothering you.

Not all therapists are created equal. If they are insightful and probing and useful to you, then great. If you get a few sessions in and don't think you're getting much out of it, then don't feel bad about finding someone better suited to you.

Yeah. That's what the thread is about

A random selection from a set of good therapists, bad therapists, good fits for you, bad fits for you, experienced in what you need and inexperienced in it.
Finding a good therapist isn't automatic. There's a lot more variation in quality than with, say, doctors.

Sup Forumsoo

I told my parents i was depressed and they're forcing me to go but i think it could help.

whatever you do dont let them know

Thats what I've heard I don't know how i feel opening up to him

nature will find a way

it wont. fix your own problems you faggot. You might feel better just cause you get to talk to someone then when you realize you have to pay 200$ hour to talk to a prostitute basically youre going to be even more depressed.

Banter, patter

This. I've talked to many and the majority were batshit nuts.

well does you job make you want to die?
BOOM therapized

he'll probably just strangle you to semi-conciousness then fist you til you shit your intestines out

Just go on meds. Works for my wife.

Sometimes blurting something to a relative stranger can be easier than telling it to a friend. But yeah, opening up about deep insecurities and whatnot is usually difficult.

My view is this: do you really want to waste an hour beating around the bush and not opening up because it's uncomfortable? When you've identified something that you need to talk about, rip that fucking band-aid off.

You can also mention in your early sessions that opening up is something difficult for you, and you'd appreciate it if they'd occasionally push you to do so, rather than allowing you to be avoidant all the time. Worked for me.

you get to pay someone to pretend to be your friend for an hour. Might as well spend the money on crack and fuck some dirty whores

You a little under the shit, or do you got shitzophrenia

shit, how much do I owe you

I was legally required to go see one after some shit back in the day and I was expecting some old guy looking down the bridge of his nose at me, but he turned out to a really cool, younger guy (early 40's) who enjoys a lot of the same shit I do. So just hope you get a cool therapist

just your anus will do

he's going to dress you up like Hannah Montana, push a pineapple up your anus then batter your penis to a bloody pulp with a meat tenderizer

Yea thanks bro

to be therapized

This has given me more hope than a therapist ever could

An annoying cunt

stay strong

and buy a vibrator that will fit comfortably in your ass

Expect to be underwhelmed by incompetence.

>this

White people... Am I right?

To lie

My therapist mostly just tells me to stop drinking 3 bottles of wine every night, aside from that it's just a lot of talking about the shit that fucks you up and how you feel about it.

>therapist

Is a professional counselor like certified the same thing as a therapist?

Prepare to fix underlying issues till u get to the root of the problem. Childhood pain. Then prepare to be fucking awesome. Also get a shrink that does edmr